Isn't it Amazing....

[Bree-asaurus]

We dress for our daily life, which may or may not include getting tarted up for our date, or wearing jammies to Walmart because we can... there is a physicality and emotion to wearing what you want...sometimes my boots feel like armor on a cold day...sometimes my eagles hoodie is just what i need to feel comfy on a bad hair day, and sometimes i enjoy making sure that i look great for a trip to the mall to buy some clothes and have coffee with my sister...

for cd's that may be some part of it (and btw , if it is, i'd suggest you are one of the many folks that is repressing who you are)

I think this is a very important point Kaitlyn. I have noticed a lot of people who frequent the crossdressing forum, or people who label themselves as crossdressers will refer to themselves as not JUST male and get offended if someone implies otherwise. They feel that there is actually a female component to their identity. They most likely identify as a transgendered individual or even a transexual, but are hiding from it. They say there is more to crossdressing than their cloths... which is usually an indication that they are not a crossdresser or not JUST a crossdresser.

When I think of a MTF crossdresser, I think of the classic definition: a MAN who wears women's cloths. Someone who happily identifies 100% as male, but just likes to wear women's cloths for whatever reason.

In my mind, if someone identifies partially or wholly as a woman, then they are not a crossdresser because they are wearing the cloths of the gender that they identify as. They are not JUST a man, they are somewhere between and including male and female genders. I believe there are more transgendered individuals than we realize... but most of them either don't understand who they are or are repressing who they are.

I believe this because I've been there. I crossdressed all my life but somehow never accepted that I was a crossdresser. Then I assumed I was JUST a crossdresser because while I finally accepted one part of my femininity, I still repressed 99.9% of it. I joined this forum as a crossdresser and would spend my time in the crossdressing forums. But as I continued exploring and accepting who I really am, I realized that I am clearly not a crossdresser at all... I didn't really identify with most of the crossdressers. I wasn't even somewhere in between... I was 100% not a dude.

[Anna Lorree]

All in appropriate venues Lori.

Outside the Scarlet Ranch you would see me as just me. Nothing but the normal conservative wear that defines me.
That venue was used by me to physically cause harm to men set within an atmosphere that was very forgiving of actions.

Men are driven visually hence all the glam, clothing and makeup.
Go to the CD section and tell me you do not see panty threads or the obsessions about the colours and feel of things.
It drives a large number of them to do what they do.
I defend my statement because it's true.
for a very large number in that forum it is about sexual stimulation and release and much less about illusion as other CD's enjoy their clothing as.
Julia

Hmm, I guess that means I am a minority again. I rarely ever find any kind of sexual release when I dress, for me it is about comfort (with myself), and just kind of feeling right. sigh Always a bridesmaid, never the bride...

Anna

I think this is a very important point Kaitlyn. I have noticed a lot of people who frequent the crossdressing forum, or people who label themselves as crossdressers will refer to themselves as not JUST male and get offended if someone implies otherwise. They feel that there is actually a female component to their identity. They most likely identify as a transgendered individual or even a transexual, but are hiding from it. They say there is more to crossdressing than their cloths... which is usually an indication that they are not a crossdresser or not JUST a crossdresser.

When I think of a MTF crossdresser, I think of the classic definition: a MAN who wears women's cloths. Someone who happily identifies 100% as male, but just likes to wear women's cloths for whatever reason.

In my mind, if someone identifies partially or wholly as a woman, then they are not a crossdresser because they are wearing the cloths of the gender that they identify as. They are not JUST a man, they are somewhere between and including male and female genders. I believe there are more transgendered individuals than we realize... but most of them either don't understand who they are or are repressing who they are.

I believe this because I've been there. I crossdressed all my life but somehow never accepted that I was a crossdresser. Then I assumed I was JUST a crossdresser because while I finally accepted one part of my femininity, I still repressed 99.9% of it. I joined this forum as a crossdresser and would spend my time in the crossdressing forums. But as I continued exploring and accepting who I really am, I realized that I am clearly not a crossdresser at all... I didn't really identify with most of the crossdressers. I wasn't even somewhere in between... I was 100% not a dude.

Wow Bree, this I can identify with. I have been called a crossdresser, but between my therapist and myself, I identify as transgendered. I still wonder where it will all end up, I am still actively trying to figure it all out. I know I am not a "typical" CD, though I used to think that was what I was. That may simply be because I was uneducated about the very specific (and unspecific) vocabulary pertaining to the "transness" in my life. That is part of the difficulty with this, the english language simply hasn't developed the vocabulary to deal with it, and no language can convey emotion completely. One thing I have found, though it may not always be fun, it is (so far) an interesting ride. I just wish I knew the destination...

Anna

[Julia_in_Pa]

Hi Anna,

I didn't just say sexual release I also said illusion as it is stated in the last sentence of the quote you have for me that you responded to.
If you consider yourself something beyond either one of those two then I invite you to take along look in the mirror because what might be staring back at you is a woman, not a cross dresser.


Julia

Hmm, I guess that means I am a minority again. I rarely ever find any kind of sexual release when I dress, for me it is about comfort (with myself), and just kind of feeling right. sigh Always a bridesmaid, never the bride...

Anna

[Jonianne]

...the english language simply hasn't developed the vocabulary to deal with it, and no language can convey emotion completely....

I don't think it's the language, but it's where we are in our life's stage, in being able to admit it. Kaitlyn sort of coined a term "identity dresser" a few weeks ago in one of her posts and I have always talked about many cd'ers, including myself, that identified "with" females, but not "as" a female. With the defination of "with" and "as" being the difference between TG cd'ers and TS women. My identifying "with" females, but not "as" a female kept me in a holding pattern in my life until my life's situation changed. Now it's eazy to admit that my inside gender is female and I do want to transition and am taking serious steps in that direction. (Actually I had been taking steps in that direction for several years now, anyway.) But, even now, I cannot just say "I am a woman", because that feels too flippant to say about myself, because of the respect I have for GG's and for those TS women who have struggled and persevered in their lives. When the time comes, that I am ready, then I will be able to use that language as well.

[Bree-asaurus]

But, even now, I cannot just say "I am a woman", because that feels too flippant to say about myself, because of the respect I have for GG's and for those TS women who have struggled and persevered in their lives. When the time comes, that I am ready, then I will be able to use that language as well.

I have no qualms saying I am a woman. Because I know that is what I am. But I totally understand what you are saying. Pretty much every post-op TS here has said that things change in a major way after SRS and that is where the real transition begins. I say I am a woman, but I by no means say I have the kind of experience that they have. I don't know what it's like to live as a woman without that constant, belittling reminder that I'm transexual. Until I get SRS, I can't really transition to live and feel like the woman I am because of this parasite that is constantly taking it's toll on my mental state. Every day I wish I knew what it was like to be able to live without it... oh I'm gonna cry now... I missed my last injection and my hormones are messing with me :/

[Anna Lorree]

Hi Anna,

I didn't just say sexual release I also said illusion as it is stated in the last sentence of the quote you have for me that you responded to.
If you consider yourself something beyond either one of those two then I invite you to take along look in the mirror because what might be staring back at you is a woman, not a cross dresser.


Julia

No sweat, I'm not going to get bent over anything here. Part of my problem (completely mine until I answer it, then it could affect other people) is that I'm up in the air right now and not sure where I am going to land yet. I think I am pretty firmly in the Transgenderist camp, but when my therapist asks about things like hormones and SRS, some of those questions can be difficult to answer.

Until I find my comfort zone in the spectrum, I am going to be searching. Sometimes, that means a little good spirited arguing or debate, and often it means misunderstandings. I hope no feelings are hurt because of it.

Anna

[Bree-asaurus]

No sweat, I'm not going to get bent over anything here. Part of my problem (completely mine until I answer it, then it could affect other people) is that I'm up in the air right now and not sure where I am going to land yet. I think I am pretty firmly in the Transgenderist camp, but when my therapist asks about things like hormones and SRS, some of those questions can be difficult to answer.

Until I find my comfort zone in the spectrum, I am going to be searching. Sometimes, that means a little good spirited arguing or debate, and often it means misunderstandings. I hope no feelings are hurt because of it.

Anna

Sometimes it can take a while to figure things out... and that's totally okay. Taking your time to really understand who you are is better than jumping the gun and assuming you are something you're not.

[Anna Lorree]

I don't think it's the language, but it's where we are in our life's stage, in being able to admit it. Kaitlyn sort of coined a term "identity dresser" a few weeks ago in one of her posts and I have always talked about many cd'ers, including myself, that identified "with" females, but not "as" a female. With the defination of "with" and "as" being the difference between TG cd'ers and TS women. My identifying "with" females, but not "as" a female kept me in a holding pattern in my life until my life's situation changed. Now it's eazy to admit that my inside gender is female and I do want to transition and am taking serious steps in that direction. (Actually I had been taking steps in that direction for several years now, anyway.) But, even now, I cannot just say "I am a woman", because that feels too flippant to say about myself, because of the respect I have for GG's and for those TS women who have struggled and persevered in their lives. When the time comes, that I am ready, then I will be able to use that language as well.

I tend to say "my femininity", "my feminine side", "the feminine side of me", or "my feminine aspects". Honestly, I have said for years that humans ought to share more secondary sexual characteristics, like men having breasts. It makes more sense biologically, as both parents could feed a baby, but I digress. I kind of think that my views about secondary sexual characteristics may have been an early way for me to deal with some kind of gender dysphoria. I have come to grips with the fact that I have fairly strong aspects of both the masculine (at least through social conditioning) and the feminine (seem to be getting stronger, and it feels right). I just need to find my balance point and figure out what I need to do with that information.

Edited to add:

I do know that generally speaking, my glimpses into a feminine life are more enjoyable to me than masculine life tends to be.

Anna

[Jonianne]

I have no qualms saying I am a woman. Because I know that is what I am. But I totally understand what you are saying....

Bree, I respect you as one of those TS women who have struggled and are perservering, as well as the others here, who are pre and post op.

[KellyJameson]

A state of mind exists independant of external symbols, it just "is" regardless of vessel,adornment or accoutrements. Risky to draw conclusions based on externalities and the "truth" of a person sometimes takes a life time to uncover and may not be possible because of the plasticity of the mind/reality.

Are we a product of our opinions of what we are or are our opinions an expression of who we are ?
What came first the chicken or the egg?

Does somebody with white guilt ACT more black to escape the guilt of having white skin?
Does somebody filled with hate of their skin color than try to ACT like those who have oppressed them to escape the self hate they have been injected with?

Only when we move beyond the ACT of acting do we become and what we become was always there.

As long as we are acting we than seek escape from the fears of our own inner doubts by seeking validation in others who our also seeking escape. The only escape is to let go and dance naked.