What does this make me...?

[KrystalA]

Of late, I've become 'involved' with another cd girl. It has only been messages back and forth, sharing our most intimate thoughts and desires. I find myself irresistably drawn to her. I've told my SO about it, and she says she's fine with it, as long as it remains only a "fantasy" thing. (My SO is SUCH a wonderful woman).
My question is, what does this relationship make me? Bisexual? Lesbian? I don't know. All I know is I find it thrilling to have found another cder who is so open to share her inner feelings with me. Has anyone else had this happen to them?

[girlieboy47]

You are so lucky to have a soul mate, I'm still looking for mine!

[Cheryl T]

It makes you curious.
Just remember who waits for you at home....

[Stephenie S]

What?

Bisexual? Lesbian? Are you kidding? Uh, how about "friend"? Don't try to read too much into this.

No, it doesn't make you a soul mate. If you're working on finding a soul mate then your SO should be worried.

Stephie

[Eve II]

Your SO saying, "as long as it remains a fantasy thing" may be what she is saying, but in real life it's got to
be hard for her not to be thinking about it. Do you share these deep feelings with her - why do you need to
them with the cder and not her - etc ..... Just saying because I've heard the "it's OK with me" statement
and it is later thrown out as a dagger. Be careful
I don't think it makes you anything except - curious. Take me, I'm Bi-curious - I so want to be dressed
up and find out.

[BRANDYJ]

I think it makes you human. As for ther labels of bisexual or lesbian, the answer is no. You are only bisexual when you are sexually attracted to both sexes. If you have never acted upon sex with another male but have fantasies that lean that way, then you are bi curious. As for being a lesbian, no again. A lesbian is a GG that is attracted to other ONLY other GG's
yeah, I know, not everyone will agree with this. My own SO says I am bisexual based on the fact that years ago, before we ever met, I had engaged in sex play with a few other CD's. My stand on it is this: I don't consider myself bisexual because I am not attracted to men at all. Also, like some others, I do have fantasies about men, BUT only as a female when in female mode. But for me, that will always remain just fantasy. So who's right and who's wrong... and who cares? As a male I would never have sex with a male whether he is in fem mode or not. But in fem mode I would have sex with a male ONLY if he too is in fem mode...another CD. I am however attracted to GG's and other femininne looking CD's
Guess I did not answer your question, but raised some! Oh wait, I am just human!

And no, I would NEVER cheat on my SO...NEVER

[Marleena]

Krystal it makes you human. Just tread lightly here since you're in a relationship.

If it's a physical attraction just remember CD admirers are attracted to us because we work so hard at looking and acting feminine. Once the clothes etc. come off you're left with two GM's with penises.lol.

The emotional part is probably because you've found somebody like you for the first time, but I really can't say for sure. Many of us go through life hidden and never meet other CDers. So try to take it at face value, it is a friend.

[kimdl93]

I have to say, I think its a bit risky and a bit inappropriate to engage in any kind of vicarious or platonic relationship with another person, cd or otherwise, if you're in a monogamous relationship. These things have a way of getting out of hand. I'd suggest you politely back away and just be friends.

[KrystalA]

No, no, no...I'm not thinking of an actual physical affair or anything. And yes, I take care of my lady at home quite nicely, thank you, much to our mutual satisfaction. A fantasy is a fantasy, nothing more, nothing less.

[RADER]

Yes; I found a "PEN PALL" from the forum, We actually met once in person once.
She now dresses much more than I, and she goes out with her wife shopping, Etc.
I however stay in the closet, But it is nice to type-talk to one another.
Rader

[GingerLeigh]

I have to say, I think its a bit risky and a bit inappropriate to engage in any kind of vicarious or platonic relationship with another person, cd or otherwise, if you're in a monogamous relationship. These things have a way of getting out of hand. I'd suggest you politely back away and just be friends.

I totally agree with this statement. Unnecessary temptation, and a potential threat to your SO. Good friends are fine, but "Soul-mates?" YIKES! That's your wife's department. Don't make her share it, she could easily grow to resent it, if she doesn't already.

Ginger

[NicoleScott]

I have to say, I think its a bit risky and a bit inappropriate to engage in any kind of vicarious or platonic relationship with another person, cd or otherwise, if you're in a monogamous relationship. These things have a way of getting out of hand. I'd suggest you politely back away and just be friends.

I have to DISagree with this. The OP said it's only been messages exchanged. People make friends with others who share a particular interest: football, cooking, politics, literature, etc. etc. Many crosdressers grew up totally alone with their crossdressing thoughts, and when they meet someone like themselves, it's helpful to share intimate thoughts, experiences, and challenges for mutual benefit.
Someone in a monogamous relationship can't have friends? Come on!

The OP asked for an appropriate label, not a judgement.

[Marleena]

Krystal is asking about her sexuality in the original post.

I think it threw some us off here..

[Barbara Ella]

It is natural for someone to want to share there inner thoughts with someone with the same interests. I would hope your wife has the same interests, with one notable exception, and you would share them with her also. Two discussions and opinions are always better than one, and frankly, hers are more relevant to your happiness long term. So, i guess this just reaffirms that you are indeed human.

Babes

[DonnaT]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pansexuality

[AndreaCD1963]

I think it simply makes you human, with a new friend. If the fantasy is sexual in nature, and putting a label on it is important, the I would call it bi- curious

[franlee]

I think that the nature of our CDing causes us to bond quicker and with less inhibitations when ever we have the chance. We don't have the luxury of sharing this side of ourself like we do as our male side does on vertualy every or any level or subject. And this may cause a sense of uphoria and empathy that can open you up to either good or bad experiances. So as when going into any relationship I recommend keeping both eyes open and tread lightly.

Fran

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I have to DISagree with this. The OP said it's only been messages exchanged. People make friends with others who share a particular interest: football, cooking, politics, literature, etc. etc. Many crosdressers grew up totally alone with their crossdressing thoughts, and when they meet someone like themselves, it's helpful to share intimate thoughts, experiences, and challenges for mutual benefit.
Someone in a monogamous relationship can't have friends? Come on!

The OP asked for an appropriate label, not a judgement.

I've got friends I chat with exclusively online and I don't find that I have to ask other people what that means about me in terms of how I define or label my sexuality, so perhaps that is why people are a little apprehensive about what they see as the beginnings of a possibly self-destructive behavior. There have been a lot of studies in the last few years on the topic of what is called an emotional affair or emotional infidelity. The fact that she is being open with her wife about it is a good sign however, because there's honesty there.

[KrystalA]

Well, I seem to have opened somewhat of a hornet's nest here. First off, let me say that I do open up to my SO on pretty much everything, but as you are all aware, there are some things to which a GG cannot relate. I started this relationship with the other cd gal to get feedback on certain cd issues of an intimate nature to which a GG couldn't possibly respond. Perhaps I did let it get a bit out of hand, but rest assured, I had no intention of 'cheating' on my SO, I simply wanted to know the feelings of another cder on issues that might not be appropriate in the normal venues. I'm sorry if I offended anyone or gave the wrong impression of my intentions.

[ThiHi]

I've got friends I chat with exclusively online and I don't find that I have to ask other people what that means about me in terms of how I define or label my sexuality, so perhaps that is why people are a little apprehensive about what they see as the beginnings of a possibly self-destructive behavior. There have been a lot of studies in the last few years on the topic of what is called an emotional affair or emotional infidelity. The fact that she is being open with her wife about it is a good sign however, because there's honesty there.

I feel I must pile on here. We're talking friends. I think too many people expect one single person to be everything to another. That's simply not fair to both people. She's open and honest. Carry on dear.

[Sheila11]

My question is, what does this relationship make me?

It makes you a friend.

[ChubbyLeahCD]

I would love to have a friend I could just hang out in femme, try out clothes, just hang out. I would actually love if this friend had a SO that is supportive to give me courage to open up to mine.