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Thread: How do you handle Straight Men?

  1. #26
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I believe they're called, "CD Admirers"!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

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  2. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leeiah View Post
    In my CDing adventures out around town it seems like all I ever manage to do is attract straight men. Now I am bi curious but haven't been with a guy yet but if I was I had always assumed that it would be with a guy who already has experience in that area so to speak? When a person comes up to me and they find out who I am and they are still interested it confuses me because they say they aren't gay or bi or anything like that. It actually turns me away, not really sure how to go about handling that in those situations. If you are interested but you aren't bi or gay or anything like that but you are still interested then what am I suppose to do or say to that?

    And even if you did date them etc and or change there perceptions etc would you feel bad about that? Not sure how I would feel if I would change ones sexuality interests if it wasn't already like that. I have 2 offers from 2 straight men pretty much and they seem serious enough not only that but they seem stubborn they wont give up the pursuit, I just do not personally know if its right? Werid to say I know. Advice please? Not sure if this thread goes here, if it doesn't feel free to move it.
    Be careful with guys who are attracted to you in girl-mode and say they aren't gay or bi. There is a lot of repression going on there and that only leads to disaster.

  3. #28
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bree_K View Post
    Be careful with guys who are attracted to you in girl-mode and say they aren't gay or bi. There is a lot of repression going on there and that only leads to disaster.
    I guess it's time to post a link to Alice in Genderland again: http://aliceingenderland.com/Manhunt.html

    Excerpt:
    Quote Originally Posted by Going On A Manhunt, by Alice Novic
    Each admirer is a bird unable to fly. Maybe he’s flown before? Maybe he’ll develop tail feathers of his own and shake them around in style in the future? But for now he’s limited by something. And that same thing that keeps him from being a terribly happening woman may be what’s keeping him from being an especially happening man.

    That’s why admirers tend to be a heavier and older bunch of men. It would make sense if they were also taller, though I haven’t seen that near as much as I’d like. Some may have their wings clipped by lack of a steady job, car, or apartment. Many are married and unable to get out except under the rarest of circumstances. Some may be constrained by psychological baggage, religious guilt, or macho ethnic tradition.

    But the problem for a man-loving TG like me is that once one of these fellows shakes off his shackles and sheds some pounds he may not emerge as a hot, happening man on the scene; he may just show up next week in a dress. “Darn,” I’ve often complained, “the best men here tonight are women.”

    So, with all that being said, maybe it’s better to leave your local tranny night behind and look for straight men at a nearby singles bar. That’s all well and good but unless you’re 5’ 6” and Filipino or a slender white girl with amazing FFS, you’re not going to fool anybody. And if you think the men you reel in are pure, straight men with no clue, then you’re only fooling yourself—pleasant as that may be.
    Reine

  4. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    I guess it's time to post a link to Alice in Genderland again: http://aliceingenderland.com/Manhunt.html

    Excerpt:
    Rennee straight men are attracted to femininity. Not genitalia. A man loving a woman. Simple as that.

  5. #30
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    FWIW, I think "gay" and "straight" are made up ideas drilled into us by a repressive society. The day when we realize that we are attracted to people for who they are, how they act and how they treat us (instead of by genital category) will be a glorious day.

    Poor guy, he's been telling himself all his life that he's straight, and now he finds someone that doesn't fit the standard category type. So maybe he decides 'what the hell' and breaks thru some of those societal walls. Good for him! But people don't change over night, and you will be the canvas onto which he will work out his existential crisis. Do you really want that?
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  6. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by seanmuscle View Post
    Rennee straight men are attracted to femininity. Not genitalia. A man loving a woman. Simple as that.
    I think a quick street corner poll will pretty much destroy that argument. Very few straight men will be open minded enough to consider being with a transexual MTF. Even less would consider a crossdresser.

  7. #32
    Junior Member darci.c's Avatar
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    well honestly i just assess how i feel about him. it goes one way or another from there.
    ...that make me "gay?" or him?
    whatever.
    get over it. it's not a big deal.


    i consider myself lucky for my overall shape (thin), but if i get unwelcome come-ons, the guy switch is thrown and then most guys back off when they realize they're not getting what they're after without a serious threat to their health and well-being.

    this awareness has made me popular with girls... they like feeling safe and protected, and being a CD is an instant flag that says you're not hiding much. so i have a lot of girl friends... and being mostly straight, this is to my liking =)
    Last edited by darci.c; 02-18-2012 at 10:12 AM.

  8. #33
    always girly and love it Linda St. John's Avatar
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    Leighann ...bad girl ! ...but you"re right ...it does sort things out pretty quickly and is a great answer to the OPs original question
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  9. #34
    Member Matia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bree_K View Post
    I think a quick street corner poll will pretty much destroy that argument. Very few straight men will be open minded enough to consider being with a transexual MTF. Even less would consider a crossdresser.
    not sure the quantity of people answering would make their statement true.. much of what we do or discuss here is binded with society and how it perceives sex / genders. I think the biggest crap in this area is a result of catholic church, you can see this if you compare our culture and approach to sex and differences to say japan or thailand. The fact that there might be certain amount of bi sexuality in every person would be hardly accepted in society that is ruled by men, and where unfortunately femininty is often seen as weakness. The question is, -why- would straight men reject such option. For example, in ancient rome, gay sex was a pretty regular thing, and having a "pretty boy" slaves was kind of normal for the roman elity. It was actually one of the fast ways how to get to politics, to become a lover of an important person in roman society. Sexuality is very much binded with culture social behaviour and politics, most of closeted cds here do it because they are worried they might loose family or work because it's a stigma. Still we can already see how much the society changed even in last 10-20 years, and who knows what kind of acceptance the various sexualities will have in 20 years time.

    Hyphotetically , we might reach the point where medically we would be able to change gender in a way that it will be fully functional, what would this cause to the gender confusion ? (dont want to offend anyone , just trying to show a different perspective)

  10. #35
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I have no desire to handle any men, now women......
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  11. #36
    trans punk Badtranny's Avatar
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    Let's not get too far afield. The OP wants to get her groove on, but she's concerned about rockin' the world of some poor straight guy to the extent that he no longer wants real women.

    My advice to her, is simply go girl, and let the chips fall where they may. If he's interested in a CD gal, than he's already got desires, and if the experience wakes him up and he becomes openly bi or gay and no longer a 'phobic asshole on the DL, then we all win.

    Let's all go out and convert a few straight dudes!
    Quote Originally Posted by STACY B
    At least there is social acceptance in being a drunk in our world. Hell I was good at it too.
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  12. #37
    Senior Member joannemarie barker's Avatar
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    Hahaha you are funny BT but I agree 100%

  13. #38
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    Leeiah,

    If you are attracting men, and they know you are a crossdresser, they are not straight. Straight men have no interest in a sexual or romantic relationship with another man. Period. You can not "change" a straight man any more than one can change a gay man to be straight. We are born the way we are, it's genetic. If someone is chasing you and you want that, then fear not, you have changed nothing.

    Quote Originally Posted by seanmuscle View Post
    Rennee straight men are attracted to femininity. Not genitalia. A man loving a woman. Simple as that.
    No Sean, straight men are attracted to women. Gay men are attracted to men. It's real simple. Genetics drive everything. There re many women who re not feminine yet they marry MEN and that man was attracted to a women whom fit his desires, and visa versa
    Last edited by ReineD; 02-19-2012 at 03:46 AM. Reason: Merging consecutive posts.

  14. #39
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Badtranny View Post
    Let's not get too far afield. The OP wants to get her groove on, but she's concerned about rockin' the world of some poor straight guy to the extent that he no longer wants real women.

    Let's all go out and convert a few straight dudes!
    LOL! This reminds me of the sitcom, Friends, when Ross was all discouraged because he produced the opposite effect. After being married to him, his ex wife turned lesbian and partnered up with a woman.


    ... and Jenniferathome, good answer!
    Reine

  15. #40
    Senior Member joannemarie barker's Avatar
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    I do always wonder about the picture and video gallery section.do others wonder why when a really attractive cd posts pictures there are pages of replies and when a not so attractive cd posts there aren't very many regardless of the clothes on show.just sayin

  16. #41
    Cat's Eye Siren ArleneRaquel's Avatar
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    If the man is respectful and seems to be on the level, I'll talk, and perhaps share a drink with him, if we have meet a bar or lounge, if I feel he is just a dude looking for you know what I'll turn away and ignore the guy. I always suspect men who want to chat up an old babe like moi.
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  17. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matia View Post
    not sure the quantity of people answering would make their statement true.. much of what we do or discuss here is binded with society and how it perceives sex / genders. I think the biggest crap in this area is a result of catholic church, you can see this if you compare our culture and approach to sex and differences to say japan or thailand. The fact that there might be certain amount of bi sexuality in every person would be hardly accepted in society that is ruled by men, and where unfortunately femininty is often seen as weakness. The question is, -why- would straight men reject such option. For example, in ancient rome, gay sex was a pretty regular thing, and having a "pretty boy" slaves was kind of normal for the roman elity. It was actually one of the fast ways how to get to politics, to become a lover of an important person in roman society. Sexuality is very much binded with culture social behaviour and politics, most of closeted cds here do it because they are worried they might loose family or work because it's a stigma. Still we can already see how much the society changed even in last 10-20 years, and who knows what kind of acceptance the various sexualities will have in 20 years time.

    Hyphotetically , we might reach the point where medically we would be able to change gender in a way that it will be fully functional, what would this cause to the gender confusion ? (dont want to offend anyone , just trying to show a different perspective)
    I agree. Polls do not reflect what men do or would do in the bedroom. We all know this

  18. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    Leeiah,

    If you are attracting men, and they know you are a crossdresser, they are not straight. Straight men have no interest in a sexual or romantic relationship with another man. Period. You can not "change" a straight man any more than one can change a gay man to be straight. We are born the way we are, it's genetic. If someone is chasing you and you want that, then fear not, you have changed nothing.


    No Sean, straight men are attracted to women. Gay men are attracted to men. It's real simple. Genetics drive everything. There re many women who re not feminine yet they marry MEN and that man was attracted to a women whom fit his desires, and visa versa
    Are you sure about that? I think you gave a very boxed answer?

    When I go out with my T girls to a straight bar we get all kinds of lewd offers from many of the men in the bar. Are you saying these men are gay?? Even though many of them were married with kids? Hmmm.

    I thought like you until I put myself in a place were straight men were plentiful and a handful of CD girls were there among me.

    Could that many men be bi or gay with a family and kids? I think there is more to it.

  19. #44
    Senior Member Sammy777's Avatar
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    To the OP. You might want to check out this book "on the down low"

    Quote Originally Posted by Badtranny View Post
    So a whole load of straight guys answered the question about how to deal with straight guys?


    "How do you handle Straight Men?"

    If you can't kill them with kindness then keep handcuffs in the night table

    For the beginner out there might I suggest the "Smith and Wesson model 100"
    Last edited by Sammy777; 02-20-2012 at 11:40 AM.
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  20. #45
    In transmission whowhatwhen's Avatar
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    Try this:
    Say they have to write a 100 word essay on how gay they are, or else they aren't getting any.

  21. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sammy777 View Post
    To the OP. You might want to check out this book "on the down low"
    I looked at the reviews and I'm quoting this one, from an anonymous gay black man:

    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymous Reviewer of "On The Down Low"
    Much Needed Literature for the Black Community
    I'm doing thesis research on 'The Down Low' because I see first hand how it can effect not only other men, but women and children also. It's disappointing that many African-American men believe that sex with a woman makes them men, when in reality it is much more than that. Being a man means standing up for yourself, even if you're by yourself. Using a wife or girlfriend and children as a shield from society is cowardly. What is most disheartening though is that fact that DL men will take a woman as a wife and bring children into to the world for the sole purpose of protecting himself from what the world may think of him if they knew his true sexuality. I feel for women who all of a sudden find out that their husband didn't really love or even lust after them nor did he really love the children that they beared; these men just wanted to sheild themselves from the hatred and the bias. I am a black gay man and I've met men who were creeping around the gay areas while their wives are at home. I've tried to talk to some of them by just asking them 'What the hell are you doing?' King did a really good job describing the DL lifestyle and hopefully, it will encourage some men to stand up and come foward instead of hiding behind their wife and kids and possibly ruining their lives
    Maybe the reason homophobia is so rampant is as an instinct of survival, as a way to make sure that men propagate their species. Maybe there are a heck of a lot more gay men than we ever imagine, because the secrets are held very deep. Maybe men just find better sexual matches (in terms of sexual appetite) among other men rather than women, in other words it is the sex that counts more than who they have it with.

    Quote Originally Posted by NCAmazon View Post
    Could that many men be bi or gay with a family and kids? I think there is more to it.
    I have a male friend who is from [I won't mention the state]. He said, "Back where I come from, men are men and sheep are scared".
    Last edited by ReineD; 02-20-2012 at 02:37 PM.
    Reine

  22. #47
    Senior Member Sammy777's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    Maybe men just find better sexual matches (in terms of sexual appetite) among other men rather than women, in other words it is the sex that counts more than who they have it with.

    I have a male friend who is from [I won't mention the state]. He said, "Back where I come from, men are men and sheep are scared".
    You may have a point there.
    It's sad that when a woman is Bisexual it is seen as some sort of perk to the male population.
    Yet they [some, not all, not that there is anything wrong with that ]
    are so busy tripping over this chest thumping male bravo that the same sexual diversity in men [Bisexuality] is still frowned upon.

    Oh and why have sex with a sheep over looking a cliff?
    [Highlight the] Answer: The sheep push back LOL.
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  23. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leyna View Post
    FWIW, I think "gay" and "straight" are made up ideas drilled into us by a repressive society. The day when we realize that we are attracted to people for who they are, how they act and how they treat us (instead of by genital category) will be a glorious day. ?
    Sexual orientation isn't some nefarious government conspiracy jeez!
    People are attracted to the SEX they are attracted to because of that persons, well SEX! SEX organs have a lot to do with that.

  24. #49
    Member Matia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aprilrain View Post
    Sexual orientation isn't some nefarious government conspiracy jeez!
    People are attracted to the SEX they are attracted to because of that persons, well SEX! SEX organs have a lot to do with that.
    question is , if they can be attracted to different genders though

  25. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matia View Post
    question is , if they can be attracted to different genders though
    Depends on the person.

    I like men. I like men's manly parts.

    I don't care for women... they're too... womany.

    My boyfriend is FTM. He's a man, but missing a few parts :P It would be great if he had the right parts, but we make do with what we've got. What we have is more important than the physical.

    And for the record, I'm not attracted to women, transexual women or crossdressing men.
    Last edited by Bree-asaurus; 02-20-2012 at 04:26 PM.

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