im so scared about telling my mum i want to dress and live as a women i really dont no what to do =[
im so scared about telling my mum i want to dress and live as a women i really dont no what to do =[
ok. lots of questions for you: How old are you and how old is your mom? How well do you get along with her at this point in time? How would you characterize her attiude towards gender issues - is she open minded, generally accepting of differences, or is she rigid in her thinking? Do you live under the same or do you live independently? Are you contemplating life full time as a woman? Do you envision transitioning, that is Hormone Replacement Therapy, Sexual Reasignment Surgery, etc? And of course, why are you scared of talking to her about your feelings?
Answer these questions, and others I've overlooked, and perhaps we can collectively come up with some useful suggestions.
Make her a card. On the front put "The real me."
Inside, paste a picture.
DonnaT
Kim really hit it out of the park. If you can't answer the questions yourself, how can you expect to explain them to your Mum. You need to be honest, and you need to have the answers ready. You dont need to dump everything on her at one time. Start with just the fact that you are a cross dresser. Give her time to process what that means for awhile, maybe a few months, depending on how she reacts. You dont need to tell her you want "to live as a woman" first thing out of the starting gate. Give her some time to find out what cross dressing means. She will figure it out and begin asking the followon questions at her own pace.
Just keep in mind that Mums love their children and want to protect them from outside ridicule etc. Very much like a wife. Let her know how important she is in your life and how you dont want to lose her. Mums can be the most surprising people when put to the test.
Good luck
Babes
He (she) who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance.
- Friedrich Nietzche -
I may never get to fly like the other girls, but I do so want to dance, so I continue to climb.
To me, those are two VERY different things. "dress" and "live". Either way, telling someone with whom you are close and true is a good thing, but be certain what you will tell her. Dressing may be a shock but "living" is life changing for the two of you. Good luck
Well, I have the same problem of telling my mother and I am 59 yrs old. I am working on a letter to send to her as I am afraid that I will not be able to control my self by talking to her. Hopefully in the next month I will send it to her.
Diane Elizabeth
Deidre: I hope that you'll at least sit with your mother while she reads your letter. Something like that should come with hugs before and after. If she loves you, she'll accept the letter, the news, and the hugs.
Miriam
Does she not know you bought ballet clothes that are for girls and dress in them for ballet?Originally Posted by daniellee
Well, after digging her out of the ground....
Nope, never told Mom. I don't really regret it. There are some questions i would have liked to have asked, but she was a WWII era mom, and catholic. Sorry, she was a nice, loving, sweet mother, but she would not have been able to deal with it.
Don't get me started on Dad.
one of the better aspects about being CD or TG, is that it's helped me break out of the bad habits or cycles of thinking/behavior of my parents that were not so flattering...
I think Dad might have been able to handle it, but only after being quite stoned on weed, LSD, or Ketamine. Yeah, he'd need that first.
Not that it is necessarily their fault. Kids today are growing up into a less secure world perhaps- but a lot more socially open.
As usual Kim, right on the money! My life grew into something very different from my mom's, much more driven, much less accepting of a minor role in my own life. Too bad, i've wondered what Mom would have been like growing up today.ok. lots of questions for you: How old are you and how old is your mom?
My sibs i'm sure have strong suspicions or know, i sometimes enjoy teasing a little- they broach the subject very obliquely, I answer neutrally but in a way that pretty much says if you don't have the balls (male or female) to ask, then it's none of your business. I'm sure it pisses them off too- i'm generally more successful than they are, financially, health/fitness wise (big time), schooling, marriage, military service, etc.
Guess being uptight is it's own penalty....
I just told my mom a month ago.. She was very supportive. Has yet to see me dressed but is cool with it. Just waiting on the right time to show her. I have told her that one day I would love to spend time with her as her daughter, and she has no problem with it. This was hardest thing I have ever had to do but now that I did I feel so free.
Perfect response Kim. Too bad it was met with crickets.
I can surmise that OP has in fact disclosed...
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ess-help-girls!
...because there's gonna be a party!!!
Seriously, a thread such as this which asks for advice and then OP fails to remain engaged in the resulting conversation, well...I think you know where I'm going. Makes me think there's a lot of time-wasting in our providing real & heartfelt advice. Hopefully all is not lost though as perhaps someone else who is having disclosure issues will find solace in the excellent advice throughout this thread.
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
I agree totally with you...
So envious of you for being able to open up to your mother. You showed corage and it payed off. Good job and congrats!
you could always just ask to borrow her lbd, get it out in the open or live like i did all your life, hiding and scared the wrong one finds out first
i think my dad knew, some time my clothes were moved but he never said anything to me, i just wish he did, my life would have better
You are doing things the best way by giving her time to get used to the idea before she sees you dressed. I did something similar when I had to tell my aged father, and although he still misgenders me as often as not, he is fully supportive.
Check out this link if you are wondering about joining Safe Haven.
This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any
Galileo said "You cannot teach a man anything" and they accuse ME of being sexist
Never ascribe to malice that which can be easily explained by sheer stupidity
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