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Thread: I don't get it!!!!

  1. #1
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    I don't get it!!!!

    It seems that most of us, (I know I do) have a fear of negative reactions when going out enfemme. I try to dress as "classy" as possible, and make every attempt to blend, also ensuring my movements are as fem as possible. I just don't understand why some choose to go out in drab, but wearing significant female attire. I would think this attracts much more attention going out "50/50" as opposed to 100% femme. What is the purpose?

    Please, I am not judging, criticizing, or directing any negative comments. I just don't understand this.

  2. #2
    Silver Member Marissa's Avatar
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    Jan, in respects to your intentions..you are trying to PASS as a woman.. some are trying to PASS.. but in a sense of being themselves..and please forgive me if I don't know the terms of descriptions but its to dress as they wish..fem or male or whatever.. its a mix of who they 'should' represent and who they want to display..

    As far as 'attracting', SOME do want that..remember we all want to be individuals..but I laugh when that individual is lost in a group.. "I got this awesome tattoo to show that I'm me"..and so did 20 others.. lol.. anyway.. each dresses or displays themselvesl for various reasons..some just forget that what they do may bring attention.
    And others..do it for the reason you state..to bring attention.. for their own reason..not yours..

    Hope that helps...
    Marissa



    "You better look hard and look twice,
    ...is that me, baby or just a brilliant disguise?"- The Boss

  3. #3
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    Jane, I get it. It would seem that a "between state" would cause more confusion for the viewer than a complete state, even if that state was total crossdressing. The human being always wants to make sense of things. So, "that's a dude in a dress" can make sense. But, "that dude is wearing high heels and a business suit" just won't fly.

  4. #4
    Silver Member noeleena's Avatar
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    Hi,

    Then some of us,,,, are nether male or female, i dont blend in im not femm enough ,& clothes dont make me who i am,

    Yet i am a female / woman my birth cert's & all are female at birth, Being accepted for who you are is of more importance than what i wear,or what i do or who i see, or seen by,& yes im accepted in women only groups & many others,

    Its about who you are as a person not the clothes, stand in front of large groups of people & talk to them & known by some 1000 or so people,

    Im seen as different & stand out & yes people who dont know me do look at myself & then my clothes,most of the time are normal womens wear. & other times period garb & clothes, & i dont have any issues or problems .

    If you could walk my streets & meet the people i do & be known as i am i think youd change your mind & as a P R person youd then understand , For me its about the person not what they or i wear, & my pic gives you an idear of how i look,

    ...noeleena...

  5. #5
    Miriam
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    If we want to blend in with the crowd, we need to look at the ladies around us even when we're in full male-dress. In most settings, few of the ladies wear dresses or skirts, heavy makeup, or high heels. Do you really see that at the mall or office? Yet most of us who CD choose all of these things, at least in private dressing. I haven't been one to go out (yet!), but expect that I will need to dress and makeup to conform, not for my own thrills.

    Miriam

  6. #6
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    My thoughts

    I really am of the opinion that we can wear whatever suits our moods and needs at the time. Just look around at the real GGs, they don't wear dresses and heels to go to the grocery or for a casual walk in the mall or the park.

    I'd likely never "pass" even fully en-femme but I like to wear earrings and fem sweaters. Why, because I like them and they are more comfortable. Haven't had any problems yet.

    Sandra1746

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member Carol A's Avatar
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    Well I for one dress casual nice everyday, now when I want to really do it up and dress the whole 9 yards I go to Wal-Mart on a Sunday just as church is letting out
    and you blend in with all the ladies who are dress up coming from church.
    Never ever had a nasty remark or and unkind word, will admit I have been read a few times but comes with the outing.

  8. #8
    Silver Member STACY B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandra1746 View Post
    I really am of the opinion that we can wear whatever suits our moods and needs at the time. Just look around at the real GGs, they don't wear dresses and heels to go to the grocery or for a casual walk in the mall or the park.

    I'd likely never "pass" even fully en-femme but I like to wear earrings and fem sweaters. Why, because I like them and they are more comfortable. Haven't had any problems yet.

    Sandra1746
    ME too dress what fits the the scene you bring it on your self for not doing your reserch ,,, When in ROME !!! SEE POST where not to go !!
    Yull Find Out !!! lol,,,,

  9. #9
    The Girl Next Door Sally24's Avatar
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    There are many variations of TG that I don't get. It doesn't bother me because they aren't me. What ever gets you to where you want to be, as long as no one gets hurt.

    Now you know how many of the public feel when trying to understand your average CD.
    Sally

  10. #10
    Gold Member ~Joanne~'s Avatar
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    I agree, if we dressed solely as the GG's out and about in society to blend, we'd never have to buy heels, pantyhose, or even a dress. what fun would that be?
    Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!

  11. #11
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    I posted this thread, as I had read another thread where a person was trying to get up the nerve to go out dressed, and instead, just wore heels, while dressed as a guy. While I totally admire their courage, and support them 200%, I never ever wanted this thread to be seen as anything negative towards that person taking their first steps. I totally admire them. My whole point in this, they are apparently worried about attention, or they would not be trying to work up the nerve to go out dressed as a GG, i would think one would get less attention dressed 100% enfemme (casual or dressed up, but blended) as opposed to going out as a guy with a few feminine items on.

    I do not see that thread, I and I hope I have not offended any one, as that was never ever my intent, and now I feel bad.

    I get so much support from reading other threads, my only goal is to help others, as they have helped me, thinking that this person may gain less attention by dressing 100% as opposed to partial.

    I do understand dressing casual, but casual as a GG would dress, not 90% as a guy, and 10% as a GG, unless of course, you are trying to come out 100% and want people to know you as a guy, and that you are a CD'er?????

    I think I keep digging a hole with this thread!
    Last edited by JaneAshland; 02-26-2012 at 10:57 AM.

  12. #12
    Member latanya's Avatar
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    I agree with u to a point i would only go out if i could pass therefore i don't at least not yet! But i dress with fem under garment for me! I feel comfy that way! But i do just enough got feel fem but not expose myself!

  13. #13
    Senior Age Member sissystephanie's Avatar
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    Jane,

    When my wife was alive and did my makeup and fixed my wig, I went out as Stephanie and easily "passed!" I am not at all good with makeup or wigs, so now that she has passed on I go out as the man that I am but dressed entirely enfemme. My point is that I do NOT really attract any more attention that I did as Stephanie. I don't dress to attract attention, I just dress to look good. I may get second looks when I am out dressed enfemme and looking like a man, but who cares? Certainly not me! And in the past 7 years I have not heard one negative comment! The majority of people just don't care!! Sure, if you dress to attract attention people will notice and probably make comments! But if you dress in a normal fashion, people won't pay much attention.

    The problem that many CD'ers have is that they worry about what people will think of them, before it ever happens. Dress the way you want and go out into the big world! It is not a scary place, and in most of the world no one is going to grab you and tear your clothes off!! If you do attract attention, then maybe change your dressing style!!
    Stephanie

    Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by sissystephanie View Post
    Jane,

    When my wife was alive and did my makeup and fixed my wig, I went out as Stephanie and easily "passed!" I am not at all good with makeup or wigs, so now that she has passed on I go out as the man that I am but dressed entirely enfemme. My point is that I do NOT really attract any more attention that I did as Stephanie. I don't dress to attract attention, I just dress to look good. I may get second looks when I am out dressed enfemme and looking like a man, but who cares? Certainly not me! And in the past 7 years I have not heard one negative comment! The majority of people just don't care!! Sure, if you dress to attract attention people will notice and probably make comments! But if you dress in a normal fashion, people won't pay much attention.

    The problem that many CD'ers have is that they worry about what people will think of them, before it ever happens. Dress the way you want and go out into the big world! It is not a scary place, and in most of the world no one is going to grab you and tear your clothes off!! If you do attract attention, then maybe change your dressing style!!
    Well said, thank you.

  15. #15
    A California Girl Rachel Morley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JaneCDX View Post
    i would think one would get less attention dressed 100% enfemme (casual or dressed up, but blended) as opposed to going out as a guy with a few feminine items on ........ this person may gain less attention by dressing 100% as opposed to partial.
    I agree with you, especially if the "few items" are ones that standout as uniquely female. Like say those items are heels and a skirt or a dress (something guys don't wear) and also that the person is otherwise presenting as male, sure, to me that would attract more attention than someone who is fully en femme including someone who doesn't pass. Why more attention? Well, I think it's because people (and going on the title of your thread I assume you include yourself too) don't understand what the person is doing or feeling. If they present fully and even if they don't pass the person thinks "ok, I can see that you're a dude dressed up but I get what you're trying to do. You're trying to look and feel like a woman". Whereas dressing partially makes you stand out more and they (people) don't understand the motive.

    Well, I think lots of people here dress not fully for a lot of different reasons. In my own particular case, I often wear fairly girly clothes but I can still be identified as male. Ok, not a skirt and high heels like I mentioned above, but girls jeans, tennis shoes, girly tees and hoodies, baseball caps etc.Often with some eye makeup and earrings. Why do I do this? Well for me it's actually where I self identify. I know I am a genetic male but I feel like a good part of me is female. I am proud to be a girly guy. I want to feel a level of girly-ness inside and display it on the outside because I want people to know that I am different. I am not the same as every other guy out there. I like those girly versions of things and I want to wear them. That's how it is for me which is not how it will be for others because your scenario I think was someone wearing just heels. I don't do that so someone who does can give you their reasoning.
    Last edited by Rachel Morley; 02-26-2012 at 11:49 AM.
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  16. #16
    Silver Member STACY B's Avatar
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    Yea but there is so many different ways to sxspress things ,, Like with the HEELS maybe if ya saw a guy in heels he is just testing thr water an he knows if he gets in a pinch he can kick em off an put something else on ? Just like anything else ,, Just change ,, But being in full girl mode ya cant just wipe the makeup off real fast, So maybe thats why ,, So many different things it COULD BE ??
    Yull Find Out !!! lol,,,,

  17. #17
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I find it SO EASY TO BLEND! I simply go out in drab and no one notices me!

    On the other hand, Sherry thinks blending is akin to a ROOT CANAL! Because she WANTS TO BE NOTICED!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  18. #18
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    Jane, I did go out - 50/50 for a while, even to the point of wearing a bra and forms, make up and a mix of male and female attire. I don't recall any really adverse responses, but I certainly presented more ambiguously than I do now. At the time, I didn't dare go out fully en femme. I suffered from those fears you mentioned, and dressing ambiguously gave me some means of expressions. In the end, however, I found it unsatisfactory on a number of levels.

  19. #19
    Member latanya's Avatar
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    going out

    im most of the time in what i call integrated mode and make me feel comfy and my outlook seems diff. and i get i go unnoticed because i very masculine looking so it goes unnoticed!

  20. #20
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    My response echoes Latanya's. I'm not sure that it changes my outlook, but I do feel like I'm wearing my own clothes and not "dressed as a man" - even if the effect is largely the same. I also agree with Kim that it's ultimately unsatisfactory, however.

    Lea

  21. #21
    Member latanya's Avatar
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    i realize it will be eventually not enough and it continues to expand with what im willing to do but for now it works!

  22. #22
    Junior Member Michaela51's Avatar
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    I never intend to pass. I dress daily on different levels depending on my mood, how girly I feel, and what I have to do that day. When I go out people see me as a guy wearing either unisex, or a mix of male and female clothing, they essentially see a guy wearing women's clothes. That's OK with me, and if it isn't OK with them then so be it.

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