I'm going to sound like a royal a$$ but..

[JessHaust]

This board is full of girls who stay at home, wishing they could, would, might maybe, ............go out dressed. And most of you look at those of us who say we do and either don't believe it, or just think "sure you can, but things are different for me'
Well I really need to say, BS!, if I can do it you can. The only thing stopping you is you. All the fear, all the doubt is within you, and the solution is there as well, within you.
It's hard , but once you do it, it's like pandora's box, it will never go back in, and you will be so glad you let it out.
Find a group, find a friend, it's not hard, just the right words into Google, and there you are. (meet up, transgender,cross-dress and your city)
Do you really want to stay home, keep this bottled up inside yourself, forever? Is chatting with unseen, unknown people on the internet all you are looking for? I can't believe it.
The world is a really big, really forgiving wonderful place if you will just give it the chance. People will surprise you with understanding. You are the most critical thing in your life, not them, you only have to step outside to see this.
OK, there I have pissed off most of you, scared some others and maybe rung a bell with others, but If this arrogant, self righteous, hurtful diatribe of mine has motivated just one of you to actually put on your best dress and go out and enjoy life, it was worth it.

[goodnhose]

Jess,
I love your sentiment, it's true what you say and I do hope your words give someone the push they need to get out of the house. You didn't piss me off! As for me I'm waiting for my next life to be born a girl then I won't have a problem going out dressed.

[JessHaust]

Seana, sweetie If I looked like you I would not be waiting for anything!

[Miranda-E]

the "But I enjoy hiding" responses should be coming
in
3,,,

2,,,

1,,,

[PaulaAnn]

Amen to that Jess;I just came out on Tuesday night .....OMG !!it was great.
Paula.

[Vanessa Storrs]

I wish it were so easy to go out. For many good reasons many of us never leave the confines of the closet. It takes a lot to go out the first few times and suggesting that those who stay home are little sissy cowards benefits noone.
I have made many posts encouraging others to venture out of the closet and will continue to do so. I also respect those who choose to remain home.

[Lynn Marie]

[SIZE="4"]Staying in the closet doesn't make you a sissy coward, but peering at the world through a keyhole will surely make you crosseyed! Didn't your mother tell you that.

May I add my encouragement to those of you who only need a little push. If the adreniline rush of your first time out doesn't kill you, you'll never go back to that cramped closet again.[/SIZE]

[Melanie R]

My wife and Melanie together with other CD,s, spouses and family members returned Sunday from a 7 day cruise on the new Carnival Magic out of Galveston. This was a Mardi GRAS cruise with 3900 other passengers including over 700 kids. The acceptance and support of our group was totally positive. Our cabin attendant and head waiter was blown away by Melanie. They could not believe the transformation since because of a delay in delivery of our luggage they had to endure ugly Mel the first night.

[donnatracey]

Well said, Jess! It's comments like yours' that made me finally just decide to do it a month ago. By myself, to a local mall in the evening, 30-45 mins of "shopping ecstasy". It was so invigorating to be shopping for women's clothes dressed as a lady instead of my normal en drab mode where I slink around.....

After I left the mall, I said to myself, Donna, I can't believe you did it! If I can, others should be able to do it too.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I have been in the trans community for a long time, met countless people over the years, and believe it or not there really are people in unusual or volatile situations and really should not leave their house dressed. While yes some people could and make excuses because they are afraid, even if it happens to be the majority of those who make excuses, there are always exceptions and you can't group them all into the same box.

[Miriam-J]

I'm of the firm opinion that persuasion and inspiration will go much further than arrogance, self-righteousness, and hurtfulness. Perhaps your words will push someone out, but I hope that many more will be inspired as I have been by the words of instruction, sensitivity, and wisdom that I've found on this forum nearly everyday.

Yes, I have felt this inspiration and I am already seeking out the opportunities to get out in the world where my family and job will continue to be safe despite my activities. I've learned that such opportunities are far more available than I had thought, and it brings me great joy. Won't be long, and you'll hear about it. But it will come from the quiet words, not the loud ones.

Miriam

[NathalieX66]

Jess, I agree with you.
However there may be a number of folks out here on this forum, who by their own situations, can't or don't have the opportunity or luxury of getting out, and going public, not because of fear, but because of the repercussions. We must respect that.

I love going out. Sometimes I feel like I don't get to go out enough, then I realized that went out 3 times in two weeks, and I have to say "whoah, where am I going with this?"

[whowhatwhen]

Insufficient funds.
Oh, also the possibility of losing everyone if they were to find out.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not offended or anything but it's often a matter of "having" to be in the closet until things stabilize in your life.

[ronny0]

IMO everyone has a valid point.
Some of us as we are in our photos will never pass, others pass w/o any problems.
Sad part about our society is not everyone is willing to let others be themselves.
Some people go out of their way to find the one person to pick on.
Not always, but still their is a danger for those of us who don't pass, yet want to be out.
Even waking to your car in your own driveway, neighbors can cause problems that last for years.
Sometimes it is better to just hide in the shadows.
YET. If you sit at the mall, and do the people watching, GG's are not all beautiful / thin / cute.
They are not being chased after by all the guys. But they also don't have a five o'clock shadow.
I am sure I could go to the local mall tomorrow at noon, and strut my stuff, I am also sure 80% of the people would read me w/o even trying.
Now if I went in the evening, and dressed down, I might pull it off, but not likely.
Not a big deal if I get read, but also not my cup of tea to have everyone in the mall watching your every step.
We really need safe zones where people are more open minded and less likely to try to find fault.
Just my 2 cents. Yes all those that sit inside are doing it for their own reasons, some fears are worse than the real life event, but some are not.

[Danielle.N]

I have been in the trans community for a long time, met countless people over the years, and believe it or not there really are people in unusual or volatile situations and really should not leave their house dressed. While yes some people could and make excuses because they are afraid, even if it happens to be the majority of those who make excuses, there are always exceptions and you can't group them all into the same box.

I agree Vickie, and also understand why many feel they have to present excuses. Just saying "I'm not ready to be out" or "I'm fine without it" doesn't cut it around here sometimes.

I'm of the firm opinion that persuasion and inspiration will go much further than arrogance, self-righteousness, and hurtfulness. Perhaps your words will push someone out, but I hope that many more will be inspired as I have been by the words of instruction, sensitivity, and wisdom that I've found on this forum nearly everyday.

Yes, I have felt this inspiration and I am already seeking out the opportunities to get out in the world where my family and job will continue to be safe despite my activities. I've learned that such opportunities are far more available than I had thought, and it brings me great joy. Won't be long, and you'll hear about it. But it will come from the quiet words, not the loud ones.

Miriam

Very well put, Miriam.

[Julogden]

Jess, your posting is a combination of some excellent points as well as some utter bull. Not everyone is in the same situation as you are and also don't share your values, so for you to imply that everyone should do as you do is not a good idea. While most can probably go out at least occasionally with reasonably low risk, there really are some who have no business coming out.

So let's hope that your posting inspires the ones who safely can to get out and doesn't result in someone who should be more discreet getting into trouble.

Carol

[bridgetta]

well its not me with the issues. its everyone else.. and most important. family.. protect them.. life is a struggle anyway.. i dont need the extra attention.. screw that.. i like my secret as a secret..

[Barbara Ella]

I am pissed off that you think this would piss me off...Wait..so..that..means......I...am not really pissed off at all? We all know our limitations, and the only ones who might take exception are those that wish to do it but chose not to, and really have no reason. Lots have very good reasons. We must get our contentment in what we do, and if we are not content, it is our own fault, and we must live with it. I have been cross dressing for 6 months. I look at how many years it took some to go outside the home, and I am content with what i am doing right now. If I get lucky, I might do it once before I pass, even if in a wheelchair.

Babes

[Regan]

Jess

Comments like yours are why I love this site, pure honesty. I am actually putting plans to go out with one of the ladies here in the next couple weeks. Very nervous.

Regan

[susand262]

I wish I could do it. It's hard when your own wife can't except it. I just would like it if I could share something that is important to me with someone I care about.

[Amanda22]

I can appreciate your point, Jess. Thank you for being so honest and I do share the opinions you express so clearly.

Even though I go out en femme frequently and wouldn't be considered "in the closet" in a general sense, there are still hurdles on my horizon. These are things I haven't done yet because of lack of confidence, yet I know that I'll definitely master them in time. We all have another challenge ahead, don't we? I'm doing things now that I would have said I'd never do just weeks ago.

Maybe a person's initial challenge is to tell their spouse they crossdress, or go outside the house wearing something obviously feminine. Everyone has that one small step that feels like a huge leap. Crossing that first hurdle, though, means the next one is easier, and the one after that is even easier.

You already said it, but I'll add my "if I can do it, anyone can." I'm not exactly in a tolerant area here in Chattanooga, TN. It takes some courage, of course, but after repressing my true self for so long, I couldn't imagine living another day hiding myself from the world.

Great thread, Jess!

[EricaCD]

I almost never post here these days, but I'll unlurk for a moment.

What you have said, frankly, is nonsense. (And this is from a person who has had an active out-and-about life for six years.) Shoving and implicitly shaming people for not getting out the door is not constructive; some people indeed have valid reasons for staying in the closet. It's decidedly not your role to say otherwise.

The value of this forum, and it's a profound value, is that it allows the members to learn from the collective wisdom of our many experiences. You read about good outings, and bad. You maybe see a positive sign in your hometown, or a sad story about a similarly situated person who came to an awful situation. But the blessing of a forum like this one is that the participants can distill the collective experiences and learning of hundreds of others. And with that learning, people can make a much more informed decision about how best to live with the strange gender situation we have been given. Maybe they come to realize that they can in fact get out, and in that case YAY TEAM! I'll cheerlead with the best of them. Maybe they come to a more informed appreciation that they're best off remaining closeted. It may be a sad realization, but at least better than a decision made in comparative ignorance.

Against the benefit of learning from our accumulated wisdom, the presumptive values dictated by one person don't really stack up.

[Katesback]

Once upon a time I was in your situation. Scarred to go out of the house. The problem is if CD never leave the house how can they ever expect society to learn to accept them?

So back to comming out. I would say it was one of the scarriest things I ever did. But I learned real quick that if your strong nobody will mess with you. If you look like a prey animal then of course your going to get picked on. So you have to be strong and go live your life as you see fit. As time goes by you come to realize nobody really give a crap what your doing. One tidbit though. Women grow up and learn how to wear colthes. It takes a long time to learn how to wear heels and when to wear them. It also takes time to know when to wear sexy clothes. The point I am making is that many CD wear clothing that they have not learned how to wear and that makes them stand out. I would suggest wearing clothing that is age appropriate and more casual than heels and dresses. That way you tend to blend in better.

Katie

[JessHaust]

...., not because of fear, but because of the repercussions.

It is the fear of the repercussions that is the problem, the repercussions themselves are rarely anything like our expectations.

[busker]

the "But I enjoy hiding" responses should be coming
in
3,,,

2,,,

1,,,

I'm late, I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date. sorry, just got here and I enjoy hiding in the closet. While I too think that the only thing we have to fear, is fear itself, everybody walks in a different pair of heels, and it isn't really nice to shame people into going out when they are already scared s...less just dressing at home. That is peer pressure of the worst kind. It is almost bullying, if I do say so myself. We all have different reasons for dressing, and all have different psychological states we are in and those things don't always mesh in some easy way, as must be evident from the postings here. Frankly, in my neighborhood, I hardly go out at all as it has gone down hill in the last 10 years. In a nearby apt house, one of the tenants is in the can for attempted murder, another had a machine gun, drug busts were almost common for a while, so no I don't I'll won't be going out in a dress while I live here, but, I do get out, in women's clothes everyday...I just don't make it so obvious.

ps Miranda--this isn't aimed at you, just took advantage of your 3-2-1 idea.