Feeling Down?

[kimdl93]

For the last few days, I've been feeling really down. Not depressed, mind you, but very unhappy with the way I looked, dressed or not... I felt old, self conscious about those nasty masculine traits and utterly unappealing. This afternoon, I slipped out of my casual female attire and tried on a new top and skirt with my favorite peeps. Lo and behold, I feel much better about myself. In reality, I'm no younger, prettier or any more feminine than I was moments before - but somehow I feel that I look better.

I know we all (well most of us) have these moments. So, what do you do to get over it?

[~Joanne~]

I just don't dress. Some days I just have absolutely no desire what so ever to dress like I found the magic "dress no more" cure. Nothing really helps me get over it so I just dont dress. Don't get me wrong though, most days I dress even for the shortest period of time and feel a lot better than the days I don't.

The other day I got home from work, got dressed, and felt absolutely wonderful. I looked the best I thought I had in a long while and it felt incredibly natural, then 20 minutes in I got the call back to work and had to take it all off. lol that sucked bad.

[sissystephanie]

The same thing you did, put on some different clothes!! Been doing that for years, and it works every time!! Have no idea why, and don't really care!

[Karren H]

Not that I ever get that depressed.... Do what I do.... Get a bag of Cadbury's mini-chocolate Easter eggs!!

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I'm with Karren, chocolate does the trick every time. A change of clothes and a shopping spree does it for me as well and I don't have to worry about the weight gain because I'll go to a mall and walk for hours.

[~Joanne~]

Not that I ever get that depressed.... Do what I do.... Get a bag of Cadbury's mini-chocolate Easter eggs!!

well, that's good for at least two months of the year lol

[Karren H]

well, that's good for at least two months of the year lol

Yeah but add the Cadburys chocolate Christmas balls and a little stock piling. I can stretch it out to 6 to 8!!! Lol.

[kimdl93]

Well, ok, new clothes and chocolates....anything else?

[LeaP]

I actually give in to my wife's attempts to cheer me up instead of pushing her away. Laugh when she teases instead of getting mad.

Lea

[reb.femme]

Sometimes it's just a case of living with these feelings. I have periods of good days and bad days, where I want to be apathetic but simply can't be bothered.
I do think as others have said chocolate is the great healer and that's about it.
Dressing does raise me from the doldrums though......the softness of lingerie at times like this are my succour.

[LilSissyStevie]

So, what do you do to get over it?

Just remember, you're never fully dressed without a smile.

[drushin703]

Kimdl93. I certainly can relate to not feeling your best but I am never ever what one might call depressed. When I am a little down, when my wig is too
tight or my new heels a little too tall, when I actually thought I could wear that size 8 when I knew darn well I needed a size 12,when the lay of my wig is
all wrong, when I mistake gay night for drag night at my local bar, or when I have a flat tire, on the drivers side, when I am fully enfemme You know what I
mean....just a bad day...I just remind myself (and you should too) that I am truly blessed with the hevenly gift of crossdressing.And then all is made better....dana

[kimdl93]

Just remember, you're never fully dressed without a smile.

Did I mention how much I hate musical theatre

[Marleena]

Well I'm glad you found a way to feel better Kim! I get like that too, different things can trigger it. Sometimes it's runs in my pantyhose ( I hate that) or some young beautiful girl I see that I can never be. Trying to be a girl when you're a GM is always a struggle. It could be a young one posting a picture here too when my age hits home.
Usually buying something, or trying on an outfit will snap me out of the doldrums. Talking to a friend here helps too.

[Krista Doll]

I think ice cream might do the trick sometimes maybe a change of clothes always feel better with a skirt or dress on something sexy. and the chocolates sound pretty good also maybe add something too the hips.

[Alicia_lynn419]

Been in a funk myself lately.. mostly because my dating life, though active at the moment, does not seem to include ladies I feel are open enough to attempt to understand this part of me. Also, saw a news story on line about CD discrimination.. and the comments to the story were all quite hateful.... we still aren't making much progress in acceptance in today's world.....

Oh well.. off to another date (en drab).....

[Amanda22]

Kim, when I go through a period of seeing mostly the negative aspects of my appearance, I think about the fact I have my sight, hearing (for the most part), I can walk, etc. I sort of shame myself into focusing on the positive. That might not be the best approach to dealing with those periods, but it works for me.

I do wonder if you're down because of the recent spate of CD horror threads? Some of those negative public encounters really started affecting me, as though I've been living on borrowed time because I've only had great experiences. I went from those thoughts to ones like, "Who am I trying to fool? I just look like a guy in a dress!" and "Why the hell am I putting myself through the stress of dressing en femme in public??" Those threads have shaken my confidence because if it happens to girls who are prettier than me, I'm way overdue for jeers, pointing, ridicule, and discrimination. I'm in a depressed mood myself.

[drushin703]

Amanda22...What and where are the girls that are prettier than you......lol.........dana

[Kate Simmons]

Eh, we're supposed to feel down sometimes? Guess I must have mised "Feeling down-101" at some point.

[newbee1991]

Yes getting down does happen from time to time. A nice little trick I learned is to hit the mall and do some shopping! It probably aint the healthiest of feeling down habits, but it sure is fun.

[Barbara Ella]

As we are living, breathing creatures, there will always be ups and downs, it is normal. I find the best way to combat the downies, and I have them too, is to do what is normal. If i get down looking at myself, I just change myself at that time. New outfit, makeup style, hair, shoes. Sometimes it is just one different thing that does it.

What helps immensely, when I do these different things to fight the downies, is to get right on this forum, and read some posts, and respond to a bunch of them. That's why we are here.

Babes

[Jacqueline Winona]

Been there, Kim- rading Anne's post and a few others, plus a good work out, lifted me out of the doldrums.

[ReineD]

Well, ok, new clothes and chocolates....anything else?

Have you considered engaging in different activities than the CDing for self-actualization? Is there a sport you enjoy? Skiing perhaps? Or are you artistic in any way or maybe you enjoy working with wood (refinishing antiques, or building something). Or a hike out in nature with a good friend? A bike ride? Photography? Volunteer work?

I'm not suggesting these things should replace the CDing but rather supplement your life. If you can engage in a hobby that you enjoy, it might make you feel better about yourself all around?

[taís]

hi Kim! ^ ^

my mood do swing a lot, oh my.

one thing I do is going for a walk in the park nearby. the walks I should be doing daily but been so lazy, yeah, those ones. I'll take a favorite album to listen and I'll dive in on it until I can't avoid playing some mild air guitar. [SIZE="1"](I'm ok being the odd guy in the street, but still need to work on being the odd girl out :P)[/SIZE] I'll stare at the sky most of the time (I'm a cloud observer wannabe) and try to drown in all the imagery and remember I'm just a tiny atom in the universe*. after an hour I'll be exhausted and renewed. I work my brain much more than my body and sweating a bad mood off works great sometimes. (and when I'm regularly exercising I get less peaks in my mood.)

when that doesn't work, I'll just try to be patient and give myself a couple of days. I'll try my best not to indulge in anything that involves spending money, because it's usually a trap I set to myself to feel a bit guilty later. the bad mood will probably go away as I get tired of my frowned face on the mirror.

but if it's still there, then sometimes I gotta go deep and take time to feel fully and completely sad and miserable. I call it "a cathartic journey of flogging and crying". it's not as bad as it may sound; I know it's sadness building deep down, and I just need to let it go. I'll even try to exploit the mindset and create (write/compose) something. usually the right song (music again!) will trigger that state and get me there. and the next morning I'll wake up new.

in the end I guess it's a matter of respecting and being as attentive as patient to ourselves. I'm not as good as I'd like on any of those yet, but that's the best directions I could find so far.


hope your blues vanish away soon!
;***


_______________________
[SIZE="1"]*hi, I'm that kid.[/SIZE]

[Contessa]

Hi Kim

Just try doing something different. Like something you keep putting off. It does not have to be a hard to do thing. It is like finding the cap to the toothpaste. Try baking a loaf of bread, or learning to. I have a list of words that I will go through to find out how I feel and I use to words to help me feel like the a different word. I will try and send you the list or you can look up words for pleasant feelings. My therapist had me doing that and I keep them with me in my purse. I can look at them on train on my way to work or home. And it helps to know or choose a different word for how I am feeling at that time. Go get a cup of coffee or tea that makes me feel good too.

Tess