OMG thats a guy! Your worst experience, please

[MarinaKirax]

Passing is important for many of us, for different reasons. Whats the worst experience you've had being clocked en femme?
For me, It was being dressed in a blonde wig, age 25 or so, ankle length dress and mid-blue pumps (the only ones I could find in the sale bin, size 10). I was walking through the subway platform in Montreal, and a woman asked me in french, what time it was. I replied 'je ne said pas", intending to move on. She then clocked me by my voice, and started shouting (in french and in English) "Hey, Monsieur! why are you wearing a dress?! Monsieur! Mister!... Thats a MAN!!!"

now, on a subway platform, there is no easy way to blend in. Especially if the platform is not crowded. It's a long walk to the stairs, and then up them, under the eyes of everyone. And then the long walk home, shaken, thinking that everyone else on the street has the same derision for you. I remember every adrenaln-soaked, stomach-sinking second of it. You?

[JessHaust]

Wow! I can't imagine that happening here! I've certianly been clocked, but at most I get a double take.
Most of the time I'm out with oher girls and often when clocked we get treated like rock stars. Many many times we get asked to have our picture taken with them, their wives/husbands, friends, we always agree, and it always fun.
The really strange thing is that I live in the Dallas Texas area, a place I would have thought much more unfriendly to CD's than Montreal!

[daviolin]

I never had that happen to me. But if I did, she would of gotten a real,"Yea, and your point". People like that really irratate me. Just hold up your head and be Marina. Daviolin

[sissystephanie]

Daviolin said it very well. Unless there is a specific law against a man wearing a dress, you can wear what you please! It is your decision and nobody else's as to whether you put on a dress or wear something drab! So go for it and be Marina!

[Eryn]

If you keep your wits about you, you look depressed and say, in a very resigned voice, "You're not the first one to make that mistake and you probably won't be the last." Bursting out in tears might be overdoing it, though.

The only time I've felt uncomfortably "made" was when I was out with a group of CDers eating dinner in a restaurant. Since it was a large group and some of the girls were pushing 7 feet in heels we were somewhat obvious. The restaurant and staff were great but getting to the bathroom involved walking through the restaurant's bar area where there were quite a few twentysomethings drinking their dinners. That was a bit of gauntlet with seemingly all eyes on me as I passed through. Nothing happened, but it was a bit tense.

[Stephanie47]

When I was in my thirties I went out en femme in a black dress, black heels and black hosiery, blond wig and full makeup. I went into a Safeway to buy a bottle of Coke. A guy pointed and laughed like crazy. And, damn, it was Halloween.

Another Halloween I wore a jade green and black long sleeve dress with black heels and hosiery and blond wig and full makeup. I went into a Winchell's Doughnut store. The female cashier complimented me on my presentation.

[Leeiah]

Really had no bad experience so far, but the only interesting experience I have had was when I went to a bar called the round up with my friend lynn was telling the bartender to surprise me with something sweet and strong. Anyway I was waiting and waiting and this girl across the counter on the other side she was facing a guy then I was noticing her looking at me, so I sorta just glanced back at her and back to the bartender then that glanced turned into a stare for it seem like forever lol, so I decided to stare back at her with a gentle smile it was sorta arkward felt like atleast 60 seconds had gone by then I got my drink and went on about my business. She eventually made her way to our table while I was out side smoking in the patio section and decided to spark up a conversation turns out she was really friendly her and her male friend. Maybe she was just curious I do not know, but all in all it was a very nice night and a good experience. I am glad I handled that like I did and I am thankful she didn't throw beer at me since my face expression when I am sorta curious about something I sorta squint my eyes some people may take that as the wrong way thankfully none haven't yet ^^

[ReineD]

A few months ago. A car full of teenagers drove by while we were walking on the sidewalk and one of the boys rolled down his window and yelled, "You transsexual freak!"

My SO thinks they had been sitting on a bench that we had walked by about 30 minutes before and they had clocked us. Of course they wouldn't have said anything at such close range, and one of the boys apparently felt it was OK to yell this from the safety of a moving car.

Other than this, I've caught a few snickers, head nods, pointing fingers, and stares over the years. Still, most people don't bat an eye, and quite a few are very nice to us.

[ashleymasters]

I was in seattle for business. I took the time alone to dress and go out. I wound up at a bar called the cuff complex. Nothing really happened there was just a very rude gg. I left about 5 mins after arriving because it was a really dingy bear type bar which isn't my scene but the drunk woman teller after me in the parking lot that I shouldn't come to places like that until I learn how to put make up on right and I looked like trash not a big deal just rude.

[STACY B]

MOMMMMMMMM That FAT LADY FARTED !!!! Na ahhh ,,,,

[scarlett]

MOMMMMMMMM That FAT LADY FARTED !!!! Na ahhh ,,,,

Stacey, you are such a trip, girl!!! i love it!!!

ROLL TIDE!!

[Jeninus]

Not me, but it was kinda funny.

Back in 1976 I was in court defending a GG on a charge that she was illegally copying VHS tapes in her home...which of course she had been. That's how she paid her bills and my fee.

I was trying to suppress the evidence, i.e. get the charges thrown out, on the basis that the person who let the detectives into the apartment (her SO) was merely a visitor and didn't have the proper status to allow them in without a search warrant. The detective was testifying about the entry and the Judge was only half-awake (it was shortly after lunch, probably for him a heavy lunch). The Assistant DA asked the detective if he could identify the person who granted him permission to enter the premises. The detective pointed at the SO and stated in a loud, clear voice: "Yes sir, it was the gentleman seated in the front row, in the blue dress." (an almost triumphal emphasis on the words "gentleman" and "dress.")

The Judge then suddenly bolted upright, peered over the edge of the bench into the courtroom, and called out: "What was that you just said?" The detective again pointed at the SO and repeated what he had just said. The Judge turned beet-red in the face and apologized to the SO. There were smirks everywhere in the Courtroom except on my face and the Judge's. At the conclusion of the hearing he found that the SO, who was not sharing the home with my client, was not on the lease and was not married to her, did not have authority to grant a warrant-less search of my client's apartment. He suppressed the evidence and threw out the charges.

About 15 years later, at a Bar Association function, I was seated with the Judge at dinner and he brought up the case. He told me he had noticed the SO in the Courtroom, but had no idea she was a he (she was pre-op, but was skinny and fairly passable and I think she did eventually go under the knife.) He smiled about it and said the ADA should have warned him ahead of time what was going on. He then told the other members seated at the table about the case. It certainly had registered with him and he had handled it like a true gentleman.

Incidentally, at the earlier preliminary hearing before the District Magistrate, we were standing outside braving a bitter January wind. My client, the GG, was dressed sensibly in wool slacks and a car coat. The SO was in a light dress that was whipping about in the wind, hose and some sort of bolero jacket. I asked her whether she wasn't uncomfortable. Her reply was, "No. One has to make sacrifices if one is to be true to oneself." I've heard that same sentiment expressed on this site many times.

[Vanessa Storrs]

I've been out on a hundred or more seperate occasions and never had a really bad experience. Once a drunk tried to kiss me and a waitress pulled him away from me before I could punch his lights out. On a couple occasions construction workers have laughed after I have gone by. I received a rude comment as I was walking down a street. I have had a multitude of positive experiences and have had a good time every single time I have been out.

[dominique]

A few yrs ago I went shopping dressed. As I got out of my car a group of teenage boys were walking towards the mall, as I got out my car at the same time. They spotted me, started shouting "r u doing that for bet" that really shook me up. But that didn't stop me going out dressed.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Well whats better being a man dressed in womans clothes or being a woman in womens clothes . for myself theres very little difference.

I am a woman with male facial features, so no matter what i do & to make it even better i dress a bit different,
So i am looked at by most people, till they talk with me then they dont have any issues because they find i am a woman.

The young or not quite so boys do call out to me because they know me & tho not many shout out if they dont know me , now & again just not often tho i know one or two have a laugh at my expence & really i dont mind because that means they do know who i am.

I think most people here are so used to me now the seven day wonder is long over,

we.v been here for 16 years now,

...noeleena...

[inori]

Well, I don't have any experience yet. But I am sure I will have lot's of these OMG situation when I go out En femme. Although I'd probably be freaked out if I was found out by someone screaming that I am a guy lol.

[Jonianne]

My worse was when some guy clocked me and started laughing me to scorn in front of his gf as I walked by. What a jerk.

[Diane Lynn]

I get used to it. It bothers my SO more than it bothers me. I walked a group of teenage boys in the mall, and one of them shouted "thats a man" and another time walking into a busy restaurant, a man held the door open for me, then said "is that a girl or a guy as I walked by. " I look better than alot of woman, I dress nice, well groomed hair, but I do wear heavy foundation to cover my facial hair. Another time I was in a store, and I guy asked me "can I ask you a question?" I ignored him trying to decide what to do. He then said "Miss, can I get your opinion?" I helped him with his question, and he went on his way.

[kimdl93]

wow, that was an curious reaction. I doubt that its Montreal related. And probably even less likely today. Maybe its a subway thing - although its been my experience that people crowded in the station or cars generally keep to themselves. I suppose on a crowded station, you're more liable to encounter the one person out of 10,000 who felt compelled to ask that question aloud and loudly.

I haven't had an experience that really left me shaken. I do recall feeling a bit embarrassed by the reaction of a tween when I was checking out my make up at the MAC counter. I wasn't angry or offended....just a bit embarrassed. But I understood that she just didn't know to use her inside voice.

[Melissa Jill]

I think when situations like that occur you gotta be able to play it off as a joke in someway. Maybe say you ran out of clean men clothes, so you borrowed your wifes/girlfriends/etc. Most men are pretty cool and if you can have a joke with them about the whole thing they'll back off. Unless they're really dangerous.

[linda allen]

I haven't been out a lot so my worst experiences have just been a couple hard stares. There's no way for me to know if they clocked me or not.

Looking at the photos I've taken, I've improved a lot since the first time out.

[Daphne Renee]

I have been out very few times. Nothing bad has really every happened. The worst was on halloween a waitress asked if I was a guy. (or something to that effect). I was with my wife and one of her friends. I plan on going out a little more this year hopefully things will be ok.

[Stephenie S]

I know it's hard to keep your wits about you in this sort of situation, but here is where your smile can help. When someone shouts from their car, a big grin and a wave can catch them off guard. When that woman "clocks" you in a subway station, give her a big smile and engage her in small talk. After all, SHE approached you, right? Often (well all the time) a smile is your best defense. SMILE for goodness sake. A smile signals to the world that you are relaxed and happy and enjoying who and what you are. I cannot stress this enough.

Listen, I know you all look at those fashion models in the magazines who snarl at the camera, and you think that's attractive. But that's NOT real life. And remember, those girls are all about seventeen years old and they are starving. Were you happy at seventeen? Especially when you were hungry? Of course not.

Real life is interacting with the world. If you grew up as a guy you learned that guys are not expected to smile. WOMEN SMILE!!! It's a wonderful defense and you HAVE to learn it. I hear crossdressers complain about being "clocked" by children all the time. It's the smile, darling. It's the smile. Women smile at children. Guys do not. Children learn quickly that guys are these slightly scary big people who never smile at them. THAT'S how they clock you. You don't smile at them. Women do the same, but most of them know enough about being polite to know to keep their mouths shut.

SMILE.

Auntie Stephenie

[Victoria Vermilliana]

It's happened to me a few times in school, unfortunately. The worst was the first day of a new semester, someone in the front of the class decided that he needed to stand up before the lecture began, and announce to everyone that I was a man wearing a dress (although in a not so nice way). A few people laughed and snickered, but most everyone else kinda went..."Yeah, and? Who cares?"

I was able to make it look like it didn't affect me, but it did. It's extremely humiliating, actually. It did help to know that most of the people around me just don't care though!

[inori]

It's happened to me a few times in school, unfortunately. The worst was the first day of a new semester, someone in the front of the class decided that he needed to stand up before the lecture began, and announce to everyone that I was a man wearing a dress (although in a not so nice way). A few people laughed and snickered, but most everyone else kinda went..."Yeah, and? Who cares?"

I was able to make it look like it didn't affect me, but it did. It's extremely humiliating, actually. It did help to know that most of the people around me just don't care though!

I am curious though how did you manage to summon up the courage to go en femme at your school...I'd never do it.