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Thread: OMG thats a guy! Your worst experience, please

  1. #1
    Mary Tyler Moore wannabe MarinaKirax's Avatar
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    OMG thats a guy! Your worst experience, please

    Passing is important for many of us, for different reasons. Whats the worst experience you've had being clocked en femme?
    For me, It was being dressed in a blonde wig, age 25 or so, ankle length dress and mid-blue pumps (the only ones I could find in the sale bin, size 10). I was walking through the subway platform in Montreal, and a woman asked me in french, what time it was. I replied 'je ne said pas", intending to move on. She then clocked me by my voice, and started shouting (in french and in English) "Hey, Monsieur! why are you wearing a dress?! Monsieur! Mister!... Thats a MAN!!!"

    now, on a subway platform, there is no easy way to blend in. Especially if the platform is not crowded. It's a long walk to the stairs, and then up them, under the eyes of everyone. And then the long walk home, shaken, thinking that everyone else on the street has the same derision for you. I remember every adrenaln-soaked, stomach-sinking second of it. You?
    God gave women intuition and femininity. Used properly, the combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I've ever met. Farrah Fawcett

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member JessHaust's Avatar
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    Wow! I can't imagine that happening here! I've certianly been clocked, but at most I get a double take.
    Most of the time I'm out with oher girls and often when clocked we get treated like rock stars. Many many times we get asked to have our picture taken with them, their wives/husbands, friends, we always agree, and it always fun.
    The really strange thing is that I live in the Dallas Texas area, a place I would have thought much more unfriendly to CD's than Montreal!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #3
    Silver Member daviolin's Avatar
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    I never had that happen to me. But if I did, she would of gotten a real,"Yea, and your point". People like that really irratate me. Just hold up your head and be Marina. Daviolin
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  4. #4
    Senior Age Member sissystephanie's Avatar
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    Daviolin said it very well. Unless there is a specific law against a man wearing a dress, you can wear what you please! It is your decision and nobody else's as to whether you put on a dress or wear something drab! So go for it and be Marina!
    Stephanie

    Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

  5. #5
    Platinum Member Eryn's Avatar
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    If you keep your wits about you, you look depressed and say, in a very resigned voice, "You're not the first one to make that mistake and you probably won't be the last." Bursting out in tears might be overdoing it, though.

    The only time I've felt uncomfortably "made" was when I was out with a group of CDers eating dinner in a restaurant. Since it was a large group and some of the girls were pushing 7 feet in heels we were somewhat obvious. The restaurant and staff were great but getting to the bathroom involved walking through the restaurant's bar area where there were quite a few twentysomethings drinking their dinners. That was a bit of gauntlet with seemingly all eyes on me as I passed through. Nothing happened, but it was a bit tense.
    Eryn
    "These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
    "She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
    "Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]

  6. #6
    Junior Member Leeiah's Avatar
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    Really had no bad experience so far, but the only interesting experience I have had was when I went to a bar called the round up with my friend lynn was telling the bartender to surprise me with something sweet and strong. Anyway I was waiting and waiting and this girl across the counter on the other side she was facing a guy then I was noticing her looking at me, so I sorta just glanced back at her and back to the bartender then that glanced turned into a stare for it seem like forever lol, so I decided to stare back at her with a gentle smile it was sorta arkward felt like atleast 60 seconds had gone by then I got my drink and went on about my business. She eventually made her way to our table while I was out side smoking in the patio section and decided to spark up a conversation turns out she was really friendly her and her male friend. Maybe she was just curious I do not know, but all in all it was a very nice night and a good experience. I am glad I handled that like I did and I am thankful she didn't throw beer at me since my face expression when I am sorta curious about something I sorta squint my eyes some people may take that as the wrong way thankfully none haven't yet ^^
    Last edited by Leeiah; 03-02-2012 at 02:02 AM.
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  7. #7
    Platinum Member
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    When I was in my thirties I went out en femme in a black dress, black heels and black hosiery, blond wig and full makeup. I went into a Safeway to buy a bottle of Coke. A guy pointed and laughed like crazy. And, damn, it was Halloween.

    Another Halloween I wore a jade green and black long sleeve dress with black heels and hosiery and blond wig and full makeup. I went into a Winchell's Doughnut store. The female cashier complimented me on my presentation.

  8. #8
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    A few months ago. A car full of teenagers drove by while we were walking on the sidewalk and one of the boys rolled down his window and yelled, "You transsexual freak!"

    My SO thinks they had been sitting on a bench that we had walked by about 30 minutes before and they had clocked us. Of course they wouldn't have said anything at such close range, and one of the boys apparently felt it was OK to yell this from the safety of a moving car.

    Other than this, I've caught a few snickers, head nods, pointing fingers, and stares over the years. Still, most people don't bat an eye, and quite a few are very nice to us.
    Reine

  9. #9
    Member Vanessa Storrs's Avatar
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    I've been out on a hundred or more seperate occasions and never had a really bad experience. Once a drunk tried to kiss me and a waitress pulled him away from me before I could punch his lights out. On a couple occasions construction workers have laughed after I have gone by. I received a rude comment as I was walking down a street. I have had a multitude of positive experiences and have had a good time every single time I have been out.

  10. #10
    Member dominique's Avatar
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    A few yrs ago I went shopping dressed. As I got out of my car a group of teenage boys were walking towards the mall, as I got out my car at the same time. They spotted me, started shouting "r u doing that for bet" that really shook me up. But that didn't stop me going out dressed.

  11. #11
    Silver Member noeleena's Avatar
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    Hi,

    Well whats better being a man dressed in womans clothes or being a woman in womens clothes . for myself theres very little difference.

    I am a woman with male facial features, so no matter what i do & to make it even better i dress a bit different,
    So i am looked at by most people, till they talk with me then they dont have any issues because they find i am a woman.

    The young or not quite so boys do call out to me because they know me & tho not many shout out if they dont know me , now & again just not often tho i know one or two have a laugh at my expence & really i dont mind because that means they do know who i am.

    I think most people here are so used to me now the seven day wonder is long over,

    we.v been here for 16 years now,

    ...noeleena...

  12. #12
    CD inori's Avatar
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    Well, I don't have any experience yet. But I am sure I will have lot's of these OMG situation when I go out En femme. Although I'd probably be freaked out if I was found out by someone screaming that I am a guy lol.

  13. #13
    Silver Member Jonianne's Avatar
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    My worse was when some guy clocked me and started laughing me to scorn in front of his gf as I walked by. What a jerk.
    Joni

    "Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free" Bob Dylan

  14. #14
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    I get used to it. It bothers my SO more than it bothers me. I walked a group of teenage boys in the mall, and one of them shouted "thats a man" and another time walking into a busy restaurant, a man held the door open for me, then said "is that a girl or a guy as I walked by. " I look better than alot of woman, I dress nice, well groomed hair, but I do wear heavy foundation to cover my facial hair. Another time I was in a store, and I guy asked me "can I ask you a question?" I ignored him trying to decide what to do. He then said "Miss, can I get your opinion?" I helped him with his question, and he went on his way.

  15. #15
    Girl Inside Jeanna's Avatar
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    My worst times are when I have panicked. Example, one time last summer I went out to buy makeup and I was wearing a long pencil skirt with 4 inch heels. When I was backing my truck into my driveway, my neighbour was walking toward my house. I thought Oh No! I threw it into "park" and dashed to the house only to realize that such a constricting skirt and very high heels, suck for those kinds of maneuvers,,,I wiped out, but got up quickly and got into the door of the house. I peaked out of the blinds and saw him in my driveway. I was thinking please don't knock, OMG he saw me. He proceeded to walk away. I quickly got undressed and accessed the damage. A scraped knee and a cut on the palm of my right hand but Thank god I didn't scuff my shoes I love them. My neighbour has since talked to me but I know that he saw me on that day. He is so uncomfortable around me now and hasn't been the same ever since.

  16. #16
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    wow, that was an curious reaction. I doubt that its Montreal related. And probably even less likely today. Maybe its a subway thing - although its been my experience that people crowded in the station or cars generally keep to themselves. I suppose on a crowded station, you're more liable to encounter the one person out of 10,000 who felt compelled to ask that question aloud and loudly.

    I haven't had an experience that really left me shaken. I do recall feeling a bit embarrassed by the reaction of a tween when I was checking out my make up at the MAC counter. I wasn't angry or offended....just a bit embarrassed. But I understood that she just didn't know to use her inside voice.

  17. #17
    Member Melissa Jill's Avatar
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    I think when situations like that occur you gotta be able to play it off as a joke in someway. Maybe say you ran out of clean men clothes, so you borrowed your wifes/girlfriends/etc. Most men are pretty cool and if you can have a joke with them about the whole thing they'll back off. Unless they're really dangerous.
    The ultimate woman is a man - House

  18. #18
    Silver Member linda allen's Avatar
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    I haven't been out a lot so my worst experiences have just been a couple hard stares. There's no way for me to know if they clocked me or not.

    Looking at the photos I've taken, I've improved a lot since the first time out.
    [SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda

  19. #19
    Senior Member Daphne Renee's Avatar
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    I have been out very few times. Nothing bad has really every happened. The worst was on halloween a waitress asked if I was a guy. (or something to that effect). I was with my wife and one of her friends. I plan on going out a little more this year hopefully things will be ok.
    Last edited by Daphne Renee; 03-02-2012 at 08:43 AM.
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  20. #20
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    I know it's hard to keep your wits about you in this sort of situation, but here is where your smile can help. When someone shouts from their car, a big grin and a wave can catch them off guard. When that woman "clocks" you in a subway station, give her a big smile and engage her in small talk. After all, SHE approached you, right? Often (well all the time) a smile is your best defense. SMILE for goodness sake. A smile signals to the world that you are relaxed and happy and enjoying who and what you are. I cannot stress this enough.

    Listen, I know you all look at those fashion models in the magazines who snarl at the camera, and you think that's attractive. But that's NOT real life. And remember, those girls are all about seventeen years old and they are starving. Were you happy at seventeen? Especially when you were hungry? Of course not.

    Real life is interacting with the world. If you grew up as a guy you learned that guys are not expected to smile. WOMEN SMILE!!! It's a wonderful defense and you HAVE to learn it. I hear crossdressers complain about being "clocked" by children all the time. It's the smile, darling. It's the smile. Women smile at children. Guys do not. Children learn quickly that guys are these slightly scary big people who never smile at them. THAT'S how they clock you. You don't smile at them. Women do the same, but most of them know enough about being polite to know to keep their mouths shut.

    SMILE.

    Auntie Stephenie

  21. #21
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephenie S View Post
    When someone shouts from their car, a big grin and a wave can catch them off guard.
    If that teenager had been in front of me, I would have put on my mom voice and scolded him.
    Reine

  22. #22
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    It's happened to me a few times in school, unfortunately. The worst was the first day of a new semester, someone in the front of the class decided that he needed to stand up before the lecture began, and announce to everyone that I was a man wearing a dress (although in a not so nice way). A few people laughed and snickered, but most everyone else kinda went..."Yeah, and? Who cares?"

    I was able to make it look like it didn't affect me, but it did. It's extremely humiliating, actually. It did help to know that most of the people around me just don't care though!

  23. #23
    CD inori's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victoria Vermilliana View Post
    It's happened to me a few times in school, unfortunately. The worst was the first day of a new semester, someone in the front of the class decided that he needed to stand up before the lecture began, and announce to everyone that I was a man wearing a dress (although in a not so nice way). A few people laughed and snickered, but most everyone else kinda went..."Yeah, and? Who cares?"

    I was able to make it look like it didn't affect me, but it did. It's extremely humiliating, actually. It did help to know that most of the people around me just don't care though!
    I am curious though how did you manage to summon up the courage to go en femme at your school...I'd never do it.

  24. #24
    Silver Member Jilmac's Avatar
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    I've been read several times but never to that extreme. Mostly double takes or stares, and more from teens or twenty somethings than older adults. Once while sitting in Denny's having breakfast, Four guys came in and sat in a booth one seat away from me. They were all intent on staring me down so I flashed then a big smile and waved. I guess that embarrassed them enough to mind their own business because they stopped staring. Another time while shopping at a thrift store I heard one woman tell another that "there's a guy in a skirt trying on women's clothes". I walked up to her and said "thanks for noticing me and have a nice day". She was too embarassed to respond. So you see Marina, all it takes it a quick comeback to put most naysyers in their place.
    Luv and Jill


    Straight, into Fantasy Land

  25. #25
    Finally feel like me... Amanda22's Avatar
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    Fortunately, I've had nothing worse than extended stares, and I don't pass all that well. I'd like to think I'd stand my ground and confront the rude person, but I don't know if I'm that strong.

    I hear closet doors slamming shut in response to this thread!

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