OMG thats a guy! Your worst experience, please

[Stephenie S]

So I read the comment about NOT smiling. Sure, keep those teeth clenched and your mouth closed. BUT, one of the reasons you are getting "clocked" is because you are acting like a "guy in a dress". Oh, that and the fact you are out at night by yourself! ANY woman out at night alone is gonna attract attention and almost always that attention is not going to be positive. There is a REASON woman don't go out alone at night.

That reason has nothing to do with "passing" or not. It's because alcohol and testosterone are a dangerous combination. Add immature social development to the mix and you've got trouble brewing, whether or not you CD.

I'll say it again, SMILE. If you want to act like a woman you are going to have to learn how to smile in social interactions. Guys turn around and break someone's nose (you could have killed him by doing that, right?). Women smile. And ALWAYS go out at night with a friend.

Auntie Stephenie

[ArleneRaquel]

My worst, recent, experience was when my next door neighbor called me a " spiritual f*g. It was said with such hatred I think I will never forget it. I happen about a year ago, a little longer than that actually. This happened as I returned from grocery shopping, the neighbor was talking to my male neighbor to the south, I heard the neighbor to the north make the comment as I was putting away groceries and I had my front window open. Neighter neighbor, as far as I know, had ever seen me enfemme previously.

[Eryn]

I was stopped by two policemen...The other officer was way more professional, actually asking questions about why I cross dress.

Asking you questions about why you crossdress is *far* from professional. Crossdressing isn't illegal and why you do so is none of the cop's business. Being held against your will under a policeman's orders does not give the policeman any right to amuse himself by asking you random questions.

[STACY B]

MOMMMMMMMM That FAT LADY FARTED !!!! Na ahhh ,,,,

[Marleena]

I was stopped by two policemen at about 2:30 a.m. The younger one contacted me and became very flirtatious, alternately staring at my fake boobs and my legs that were barely covered by my mini skirt. Everything changed when I handed him my ID. He first accused me of being a prosititute, then a child molester, then a basic freak of nature. He had me exit my car and sit on the curb (hard to do and be classy in a mini skirt) as he continued to make me feel like a piece of dirt. The other officer was way more professional, actually asking questions about why I cross dress. But he didn't do anything about his partner. After about 30 minutes of this nonsence, they let me go. I couldn't even file a complaint, because I knew people who worked for the department.

I have a feeling you turned him on until he realized you were a guy. Or.. you turned him on and he didn't like that he got those feelings from a guy.lol.

[scarlett]

MOMMMMMMMM That FAT LADY FARTED !!!! Na ahhh ,,,,

Stacey, you are such a trip, girl!!! i love it!!!

ROLL TIDE!!

[Joanne108]

My worst experience
The first time my wife saw me in full dress. I had the day off so I did my errands and decided to treat myself to some dress up time. I had put on a knee length dark skirt,padded panties, pantyhose, my bra with DD forms (on me they don't look so big) a silver blouse. I then moved to my make up and wig. I was admiring my handiwork when my wife walked in. Our powder room is next to the door from the garage. There was no hiding it. I though oh now I'm done. My wife, she was speechless. I was literally shaking in my heals. Then she spoke put on some earrings and get your purse we going for lunch. She wanted me to get the full "woman" experience. I think she thought it would stop me. We went out and had a nice lunch and discussed boundaries in the car. She saw that I really enjoyed it. We had a heart to heart in the car and she said if I want to go out dressed I would have to do it with her. I said OK. That was several years ago we are still married.

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

After last night I have to amend my previous "worst" encounter.

I was doing an open mic comedy show last night in Sherman Oaks at a bit of a dive bar, and while I'd been a little apprehensive about going to it dressed the way I do, I also was already dressed for another show and decided that if I wasn't going to go in girl clothes then I wasn't going to go at all. I force myself to confront my fears sometimes. Plus I figured there would be other comics I know there and I would have them as a safety net.

Turns out the one very hostile response I got was from another comic. He went onstage a few comics after me, and I'd actually had a pretty good set and the audience had been cool about my clothes. He wasn't having as good a set, and decided to try to win the crowd back by mocking me. He started off innocently enough by asking me where I kept my cash, to which I responded "in my wallet." He kept asking me questions that got more and more derogatory, including asking me if I shoved my wallet up into an orifice that being genetically male, I do not have.

The positive side of the story though is that one of my comic friends immediately jumped to my defense, and then when the comic onstage took it even a step further and started threatening to fight both of us, the rest of the bar leaped to our defense and collectively ejected the meathead from the place. It was fairly impressive and sort of awesome to have everyone not only be cool about it but actively defend me against someone who not only was drunk and violent, but also a REGULAR at the place that they all knew as opposed to me someone they mostly hadn't met till last night.

I have a much longer, and using some more colorful language version of the story posted on my "chick like me" blog that I have linked in my signature.

[KimberlyJean]

The first time I went out I felt good but I don't think my presentation was very good. I went to a shoe store and tried on a couple of pairs of shoes then left. Going in was Ok but I wore a short sleeve shirt and I think my arms and walk gave me away. When I left, the girls who worked in the store were staring at me and then ran to the window and were staring out and laughing while they watched me leave. I was so embarassed that I went straight home and took everything off and almost purged everything. I didn't and decided to work on a few things, I went shopping a couple of weeks ago and got positve comments so I feel better about myself now.

[Eryn]

...When I left, the girls who worked in the store were staring at me and then ran to the window and were staring out and laughing while they watched me leave.

After you get a bit more experience you'll realize that the best response is to turn toward them, give them your best smile and a nice girly wave, just as if you were a good friend of theirs saying bye-bye! They're having fun, why shouldn't you share a bit of it?

[PretzelGirl]

If you are brave/confident enough, I would go right back in the store and talk with them when something like that happens. Not confrontationally, but jokingly. I bet the minute they realize you are coming back in there would be a significant vacuum effect in the store. Then, if you handle it in a nice and joking manner, you may make two friends and have a nice talk.

[Nicole Erin]

worry not about what idiots say, for they are BIGOTS.
It is true though that the more confident you become in your presentation, the less people razz you.
I don't know what it is, but like anymore, I just do not get comments. Maybe part of it is my ability to dodge bigots but like when I go about my daily business, people just do not notice me. Let me assure you this - it is NOT because i am so passable or anything like that. anything but.

[wolf88]

I thought I would jump in here with my worst experience...

So I was in the military (yes I know, shhh...) anyway I was still in hiding, but was feeling confident one day and was thinking about going to work out (military guys, right?) and I have always found feminine workout clothes much more comfortable and I feel like I could run another 10 miles in them. Well thinking I was being smart I was at a gym about 30 miles from where I was stationed, because I figured I didn't know anyone in that state, and anyone I did know from base wouldn't possibly be that far from base, right? wrong... I went to the gym (Fully dressed already, not trying to change where i shouldn't or cause un-needed attention I was just planning to use the bikes or a treadmill for my run.), and the second I walked in the gentlemen at the front desk was a soldier from my base that I had seen, and talked with on numerous occassions due to my job assignment, I was shocked, and afraid, I thought if I just walked by and didn't make a noise and went right to my machine and started to run he might not notice me, well... it didn't work, he called his boss over and the boss asked me to leave the facility, I did not wear again for almost 4 years... this was a time back, but it still haunts me to this day, for the rest of my time in the military I avoided that other soldier like the plague, but nobody ever said anything to me, luckily he was not in my unit, so he did not know anyone I knew, I think... I don't know... but still... a fear that still shakes the ground under my feet...

[Inna]

By far the most wonderful dreadful experience I have lived through regarding passability happened about 2&1/2 years ago when I decided with help of great gal and her friends to venture into the world for my first ever in fem experience. Both mesmerizing and terrifying, it seemed unreal that I, finally had taken the plunge into inevitable. Arriving at LGBT friendly club was one thing, getting out of the car for valet parking was another. But I stumbled out and was given the ticket while the other guy giggled really quietly, well I moved away as quickly as I could and met the rest of the gang just outside of the entrance. Within the group I felt protected and slowly, with the help of good ol Vodka, I started to relax and actually started to absorb this newly found freedom. Hours passed by and I had a tremendous time until I walked over to the bar and asked for change. 4 girls were standing to my right and suddenly one of them shouted "OMG Its a guy!". They all started to giggle and lough out loud, when in a pack I suppose laughter seems to be magnified for some reason. I didn't even look in their direction, and just gathered all the strength and collected my self. I walked away from there quickly said goodbyes to a great friend and all the gals who were there with me and left.
On the way home feeling of dread, wrongness, impossibility, and yet wonder, happiness and knowledge that I finally did my first step, overwhelmed my psyche. I no longer was hiding, well, not entirely at least.

[Chickhe]

I was thinking of something funny... every CDer needs lessons on how to scream out OMG OMG, where?! in the most feminine way in front of a crowd....for when someone makes a scene you can make an even bigger dramatic response!

[darci.c]

if she was wearing pants, you say "Why are you wearing pants?!!"
if she was wearing a dress, you say, "Why are YOU wearing a dress?" (as if to say she can't pull it off as well as you do)

I've always found that people seem to throw things at you only if you're afraid of them. If you just don't give a damn... they don't either.

[KARI AN]

In a Sears store all dressed looking at dresses when young male clerk shouted to his friend and they went looking for me. I managed to duck and out side they even came out to see where I went. I didnt feel good after that event

[Amanda22]

I wish I hadn't read this thread because I seem to have taken a step or two back to the closet. These stories have shaken my confidence a bit.

[Loretta]

In a haiku-

High school Crossdress day
My buddy punched my privates.
Many laughs were had.

[MarciManseau]

I've posted this before:

This reminds me of a time years ago when in drab I was buying a pair of adorable pink panties, and while standing in the checkout line, a fat woman and her fat daughter were standing behind me. I heard the mom say to her daughter in a very loud voice, with a disguted look on her face, "I bet he's buying those panties for himself."

I turned to them, very angry, and said, "You're effing right I am, and I'll look better than either of you cows would in them!"

That totally shut her up, and I saw one woman in front of me smile.

Revenge is sooooo sweet!

[Piora]

I've posted this before:

This reminds me of a time years ago when in drab I was buying a pair of adorable pink panties, and while standing in the checkout line, a fat woman and her fat daughter were standing behind me. I heard the mom say to her daughter in a very loud voice, with a disguted look on her face, "I bet he's buying those panties for himself."

I turned to them, very angry, and said, "You're effing right I am, and I'll look better than either of you cows would in them!"

That totally shut her up, and I saw one woman in front of me smile.

Revenge is sooooo sweet!

That's AWESOME Marci! What a great response! That'll teach them to think they're so smart! I love that!

[whowhatwhen]

I turned to them, very angry, and said, "You're effing right I am, and I'll look better than either of you cows would in them!"

A million bravos, bigots should be publically shamed and I applaud your courage to do so!

[MarciManseau]

That's AWESOME Marci! What a great response! That'll teach them to think they're so smart! I love that!

Thanks, Piora I'm not normally that confrontational, but those two nasty women deserved to be put in their place.

I love your legs and that sexy slip too I love to see the lace hem of a slip peeking out from under my skirt when I wear one too.

[ReineD]

"You're effing right I am, and I'll look better than either of you cows would in them!"

Except that in most such cases, your words will not have the desired effect. If someone was so boorish as to say, "I bet he's buying those for himself" (how would she know, lol, men buy lingerie all the time for their wives), your strong words would be further proof to them that you are crazy. In other words, you will have reinforced their already negative views of you by lashing out instead of putting them in their places.

The best way to handle negative comments is with a positive attitude, and then you do have a chance to disarm them.

... or if the slight is strong enough, then you can register your indignation without lowering yourself to their level. A simple "You've no idea what my situation is and your comment is uncalled for" would have sufficed.

[whowhatwhen]

I'm going to disagree, if someone is going to be a bigot in public then they are a bad person and should be made to feel bad for their abhorrent views.
Chances are they won't change anyway so why even try?