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Thread: What is your secret?

  1. #1
    Mizore wannabe Cody Valentine's Avatar
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    What is your secret?

    Hello. My question for y'all is what is your secret for going out crossed dress? What gives you the confidence? Especially when shopping?

  2. #2
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    There is no secret. You just have to do it. Put on your big girl panties and leave the house like a man! lolz. Yes, it will scare the crap out of you the first bazillion times. But courage is not the absence of fear. It's being scared, and doing it anyway.
    I am not who you think I am

  3. #3
    Silver Member STACY B's Avatar
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    SEE THREAD BUM RUSH !!!!! Anyway Im just a RETARD ,, Thats why I do it ,,,Im a known nut in man mode so whats the difference if Im in lady clothes . Sometime when I feel like Its just the SHOCK factor it makes me HAPPY to FREAK some people out !!!! Ill go in a store in drab an try on heels just to see the look on there face ,,,,,,,,, OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH B E HAIVE ,,,,,,,
    Yull Find Out !!! lol,,,,

  4. #4
    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
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    Don't thell anyone else.... I have large balls!! Lol.
    Current Obsession - Breasts and Lingerie!

    .......My Photos

  5. #5
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    The secret is .... there is no secret. You just have to do it. And you have to know you are in control, that you are no breaking any rules, that you are entitled to be happy and you are not strange or weird. you are who you are.
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
    Chief Joseph
    Nez Perce



    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  6. #6
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    It's the knowledge that if people who disapprove should read you, they will keep their opinions to themselves. And the knowledge that the majority of people don't care what the people they won't ever see again are wearing.

    Put yourself in the same shoes. You are out somewhere and you see someone dressed in a way that you believe is unusual. You might glance at them twice, but then you'd go on your way and attend to your own business. If they should ask you for the time or for directions, you'd be nice and answer their question.

    Having said that, you will place yourself at an advantage if you dress appropriately according to the venue, meaning you should wear what other GGs are wearing, with not too much makeup and no platinum blonde cheap wig that screams, "CD". When in a nightclub you can dress a bit racier, but at the mall (for example) most women dress like this:

    http://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/C...ShF-Up2m0l.jpg
    http://www.vervemag.com/storage/may-...et-1-Alpha.jpg
    http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/st...pping-mall.jpg

    Good luck!
    Last edited by ReineD; 03-04-2012 at 11:19 PM.
    Reine

  7. #7
    Mizore wannabe Cody Valentine's Avatar
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    Lol. I thought that it might be something to get used to. Thnxs for the info.

  8. #8
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    Cody, as others have said, it just takes a strong desire to go out, enough courage to do it and as Reine said try to dress appropriately for the venue. If you are going out for the first time, why not take some small steps and build up that confidence. You can do a walk in a quiet park, drive around and stop at the drive through for a coke and fries, go shopping in male mode and try on shoes, Payless or at Macy's that always seems to be having shoe sales with all the sale shoes (one of each) out on a rack sorted by size. All these activities help. Another thing to develop is that "I don;t care what others think or say" attitude. That is a bit harder, but you will need a thick skin for those surprise moments of looks, stares, snide comments by others that do happen to some people. Good luck and go for it.

  9. #9
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Going out shopping dressed? HA HA HA HA! Yeah, rite! As if shopping in drab isn't stressful enuff!

    Give me Ebay, the web, mail order, and thrift stores in drab! That's how I shop! No stress, EVER!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  10. #10
    W.Y.S.I.W.Y.G. Jason+'s Avatar
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    A desire to be who and what I am and am not mixed with a healthy does of flat stubbornness as well.
    "You are not an accident, nor are you malfunctioning. You are performing EXACTLY as coded." For many "Man in a Dress" is the worst atrocity commit-able; for me it's just reality. Click to Learn About Me. Click to Complain About Me! There is a fine line between brutal honesty and honest brutality. It is rarely in the same place for the sender and the receiver.

  11. #11
    Swans have more fun! sandra-leigh's Avatar
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    My secret when I started was that I didn't care. I had been called names by passers-by all my life. Ignorant dweebs were going to insult me no matter what I did, so I figured I might as well do as I pleased.

    Oddly, the random insults from passers-by pretty much stopped once I started dressing, even though I have never "passed". I do not have an real explanation for that, but it corresponded to me gaining more self-confidence, and corresponded to me refusing to be a victim. And if due to unconscious factors I somehow used to look "wrong" as a guy and people were seizing on that -- well, now those characteristics are more appropriate to me as I no longer present as male.

  12. #12
    Platinum Member Eryn's Avatar
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    Cody, you just put one foot in front of the other and do it. Once I am out in public there is no point in being fearful. I am just what I am, a tall, not too attractive 50ish woman. I go about my business, do what I want, and enjoy the experience.

    It was scary the first time, but it was also so exhilarating that I've looked forward to every outing since. The exhilaration has waned, but I still feel a very nice calm when I'm out dressed.
    Eryn
    "These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
    "She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
    "Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]

  13. #13
    Silver Member noeleena's Avatar
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    Hi,

    Let me see...... the real secret....... is knowing.. who you are, & accepting that,

    on most days im dressed much like other women except my head wear,a scarve similer to my pic just i wear it up in a turbin style instead of flowing down my back or like you see,

    Some times i dress differently in my period dress wear, as i will on wensday coming. Edwardian .

    Another detail is being known for who you are & even new people will look well why not i am on show so we are comfortable with that,

    I have flaws & defects .... so..... no body cares, they are more interested in what im wearing to notice , its about enjoying your self being who you are & the clothes are right for you,

    My secret is being who i am. Come out with me for a day & youd soon find out,

    ...noeleena...

  14. #14
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    Among other things... careful preparation! Whatever you want do, plan ahead, have a backup plan if things go awry, know your situation and understand what your personal risks may be, and be careful.

    If you drive, make sure your vehicle is in good running shape and all the brake lights and license plate light work to minimize being pulled over or having to deal with a breakdown while you feel vulnerable. Don't drink any alcohol if you will be driving (if you do get pulled over, don't get them any probable cause to screw with you.) Know where friends and family congregate and don't go to those places if you are worried about being discovered. Go to a safe, well lit public place to minimize physical risk (don't go out to a dark area alone.) If you have a trans friend, make sure you have their name and number in your cell phone so if you do run into trouble you will have someone who can help you without exposing yourself.

    And on and on...

    Planning ahead will help reduce your anxiety when you do go out, and less anxiety will make it easier.
    Last edited by Vickie_CDTV; 03-05-2012 at 03:43 AM.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    Having said that, you will place yourself at an advantage if you dress appropriately according to the venue, meaning you should wear what other GGs are wearing, with not too much makeup and no platinum blonde cheap wig that screams, "CD". When in a nightclub you can dress a bit racier, but at the mall (for example) most women dress like this:

    http://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/C...ShF-Up2m0l.jpg
    http://www.vervemag.com/storage/may-...et-1-Alpha.jpg
    http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/st...pping-mall.jpg
    Reine,

    You must patronize a better class of malls!

    Lea

  16. #16
    Making a life for Tina! suchacutie's Avatar
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    well, I do have a bit of a secret about shopping...and I perfer to shop in drab! I guess I just love the expectation of and SA's eyebrows if and when he/she realizes that whatever I'm buying is for me. Then again, I'm easily amused

    tina

  17. #17
    Senior Member Jenny Doolittle's Avatar
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    The Secret.... just being brave enough to be yourself.

  18. #18
    Member Phylis Nicole Schuyler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karren Hutton View Post
    Don't thell anyone else.... I have large balls!! Lol.
    You forgot to add BRASS to that statement. Or with the hockey, maybe they're large frozen balls. Either way, nothing can hurt them.

  19. #19
    I like to look pretty Prissy Linda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karren Hutton View Post
    Don't thell anyone else.... I have large balls!! Lol.
    It must be a real pain when tucking

  20. #20
    Aspiring Member Amanda22's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    Having said that, you will place yourself at an advantage if you dress appropriately according to the venue, meaning you should wear what other GGs are wearing, with not too much makeup and no platinum blonde cheap wig that screams, "CD". When in a nightclub you can dress a bit racier, but at the mall (for example) most women dress like this:

    http://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/C...ShF-Up2m0l.jpg
    http://www.vervemag.com/storage/may-...et-1-Alpha.jpg
    http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/st...pping-mall.jpg

    Good luck!
    Thank you for adding this. This is how I dress and I love it! Yeah, I may wear a skirt instead of capris or pants, but I always try to blend as much as possible. In my mind, I see myself as a regular girl, not a crossdresser, so I just wear what's appropriate.

  21. #21
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    As a six foot, tow hundred pound man my secret is a dark rainy night with an umbrella. Not many people out and about in this car-must drive everywhere society. If I was five foot six and a size ten it would be no problem at all going out. As to shopping I'll stay with eBay and mail order.

  22. #22
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lea Paine View Post
    Reine,

    You must patronize a better class of malls!

    Lea
    I wanted to differentiate between more casual styles and these styles for example, which look great on the runway and in catalogues on young, slim women, but would be a sure fire way to be read on most CDers at the mall:

    http://desmitten.files.wordpress.com...-spring-09.jpg
    http://desmitten.files.wordpress.com...-spring-09.jpg
    http://blog.secondstyle.com/wp-conte...9/07/ICING.jpg
    http://cheapchicas.com/wp-content/up.../Picture-7.png


    ... well, not just CDers. lol. If I were to wear some of these styles at the mall, I'd raise an eyebrow or two as well.
    Reine

  23. #23
    Silver Member Debra Russell's Avatar
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    As Reine said if you emulate those around you it's no big deal. This is what I always strive to do and never even get a side ways glance - it works - just prepair and go with confidence.......................Debra

  24. #24
    Member adrienner99's Avatar
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    Don't overdress. Women go out all the time in jeans, sneakers and t shirts and still look female. Work hard to cover your beard. Work on bushy eyebrows. Wear casual clothes (denim skirts, dark hose, and flat shoes work for me). Expect to be tense but don't act furtive. Sometime if you don't act like it's a big deal, others won't either. Having said all that, it is still incredibily hard.

  25. #25
    Sallee Sallee's Avatar
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    I'd love to be able to wear those anywhere but unfortunately it isn't my body type But I can dream
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee

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