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Thread: I finally went into the OUTSIDE WORLD dressed en femme!!!

  1. #1
    ghost Anne2345's Avatar
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    I finally went into the OUTSIDE WORLD dressed en femme!!!

    Until joining this forum, whether I recognized it or not, I have allowed fear to dictate the terms of how I live my life. I am transgendered, I am afraid, and I have been a closet dweller my entire life.

    Over the past year, however, I have taken many baby steps, made positive strides, and made much progress in the development, evolution, and maturation of Anne. For instance, I have recently come out to certain friends and family, I now purchase my own makeup in person, I shop for my own clothes, and I regularly visit a nail salon (albeit all in drab).

    These are things, however, that even just one year ago I could not imagine myself doing, even in drab. Simply put, such things seemed beyond me, and seemed very much impossible. In this, I refused to engage in any action that I perceived to be a risky undertaking. But the problem was that I considered everything to be a risky undertaking, which meant that I did nothing except dress within the warm, safe, comfortable, and lonely confines of my blessed sanctuary that was my closet.

    And this was all very much fine with me, until it wasn’t. Reading the stories, adventures, and experiences of members on this forum, though, has led me to believe that perhaps certain things are possible. More importantly, I have begun to believe that not only are certain things possible, but that I can do these things, whatever they may be.

    Regardless, if anyone told me a year ago that I would eventually go out in public fully dressed as a woman, I would have responded with a hearty laugh, a “yeah right,” an “it will never happen,” and a “get lost.” But that would have been a year ago. It may have even been six months ago. It would not have been, however, last evening. In fact, last evening, I did just exactly that – I left the safety of my closet behind, and for the first time ever, I went out into the outside world dressed completely as a woman.

    While en femme, I used the occasion to attend a TG support group meeting. Prior to the meeting, I had never knowingly met another member of the TG community. Last evening, however, not only did I meet real, honest-to-goodness crossdressers and transsexuals, I made many new friends doing so, all the while presenting as a woman.

    This is not to say, though, that the experience was easy. The experience was anything but easy. I was scared sh!tless from the very beginning, as I stood inside the comfort of my closet (a hotel room), looking at the door that would lead me to the outside world. At that moment, all made up from head to toe as a woman, I questioned my resolve, my courage, and my desire. I wondered whether I could open that door, and whether I could take those first couple of steps outside without collapsing into the fetal position.

    Fortunately, I did not have to wait long, as I did open the door leading out, and I did walk out into the outside world. In this regard, I faced my fear, and my fear was substantial. Although I damn near let it get the better of me, I did not. That I did this, though, that I actually did this, I am quite pleased with myself, and proud. I faced up to my fear, and defeated it.

    Even better, I discovered that in so doing, the world neither exploded nor blinked out of existence. Armageddon did not occur. The moon did not crash into the Earth. And the oceans did not rise up and swallow all of the lands.

    In fact, it was quite the opposite. I was amazed by the reception I seemed to garner along the way. Everybody I saw either offered a warm smile, or simply did not take notice. Of course, the TG crowd was gentle, kind, understanding, warm, and absolutely amazing. But those other people that I saw, that saw me, were not the monsters my mind had previously made them out to be.

    As a result, I had a fantastic, wonderful, and exciting evening. I went out into the real world dressed as a woman! Li’l ole fearful me. I did it! I actually did it!

  2. #2
    Gold Member TxKimberly's Avatar
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    GOOD for you! I spent years looking out of the hotel door with my heart in my throat, wanting to enter the world SO badly but scared to death. I got past that a few years ago and have never looked back. Welcome to the fresh air and sunshine!

  3. #3
    Cat's Eye Siren ArleneRaquel's Avatar
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    Anne,
    Best wishes. Going out enfemme for the first time will lead to many more outings, I hope that you enjoy all of them and that they are safe and very satisfying. Being scared for your first few trips to the outside world is the norm.
    Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years. Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady

    My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty

    I'm Always Rainbow Proud

  4. #4
    Gold Member Marleena's Avatar
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    Yay! One small step for mankind! Way to go Anne! No turning back now my friend.

  5. #5
    Member queenie's Avatar
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    Congrats on that huge milestone! I always thought the first step was the hardest. Everything after gets a little bit easier to handle.

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member joandher's Avatar
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    ANNE My Darling you look every bit a natural woman and i for one would have no problem walking down any road with you, my only problem is why on earth you waited so long,

    isnt it a fantastic feeling ????
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC][SIGPIC]

    Hugs J-JAY



    Never underestimate the power of brains and a push up bra.

    Never complain about growing old, far too many people have been denied that privilege".

  7. #7
    Platinum Member
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    Congratulations, Anne...and thank you for not causing the end of existence as we know it. I still have lots I'd like to expereince before that happens! Now, maybe we'll be able to meet for lunch!

  8. #8
    HAPPY LADY Sue Too's Avatar
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    My Dear Anne

    I am thrilled for you. I have often heard it said that the longest step for a CD is the one they take over the threshold and away from the confines of their safe room. You have crossed that threshold. Now there are only new horizons ahead of you. I remember my first time like it was yesterday. I'm sure you will do the same.

    You will still have concerns but each time it will be easier. The most important advice I can offer you is to remember that most people dont really care how you are dressed. You are a pretty girl and you should do well. My best wishes to you

    Susan in Phoenix

    MALE BY BIRTH.......

    FEMALE BY DESIGN

  9. #9
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    Another sweet story Anne - congrats.
    Being out in the elements is an awesome feeling isn't it, so real. Remember to breath

  10. #10
    Just finding my way.... StaceyJane's Avatar
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    Welcome to the daylight!
    Stacey

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  11. #11
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    I'll save the obligatory congratulations for later as I feel compelled to bring this up because no one is doing their job around here.

    For gosh sakes, what did you wear and where are the pictures???
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  12. #12
    Platinum Member
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    Mea Culpa, Sara!!!! What was I thinking????

  13. #13
    Gold Member ~Joanne~'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sara Jessica View Post
    I'll save the obligatory congratulations for later as I feel compelled to bring this up because no one is doing their job around here.

    For gosh sakes, what did you wear and where are the pictures???
    I was thinking it, does that count? lol

    Congratulations Anne, You were where I am today and hopefully with some time, I may be where you were last night. Well, in the state of mind anyways
    Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!

  14. #14
    I'm wishing to be her SANDRA MICHELLE's Avatar
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    Good for you, it gets easier as you go. You have a very nice look, kind of sultry. Oh and yes, what were you wearing????
    I want to be this girl!

  15. #15
    Miriam
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    Congratulations Anne, and it sounds like it won't be the last time. And thanks for sharing your story so well with all of us.

    I've gotta follow in your footsteps soon, but my wife has promised to be there for me so perhaps the courage will be even easier to come by.

    Miriam

  16. #16
    Member María José's Avatar
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    Congratulations Anne!

  17. #17
    Member Katelyn B's Avatar
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    Congratulations, I know how scary the first time out can be, especially in what is a pretty public place, I'm glad you're pleased and proud of yourself because you should be.
    Running, jumping, climbing trees, putting on makeup when you're up there, just like the army, except for the talking squirrels.

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  18. #18
    Carole carhill2mn's Avatar
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    Congratulations in over coming your fears! As is usual, the fears are much worse than the reality.
    Hugs, Carole

  19. #19
    Girl from the Eagles Nest reb.femme's Avatar
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    Anne, your profile photo is fantastic, breath taking in fact. I'm so glad you have achieved this milestone in your life and the obvious elation this has brought you. I look forward to my own 'release' but this is still a little way down the road for me. Sincere congratulations!
    Flying high under the spell of life!

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  20. #20
    Silver Member
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    Damn, Anne! I'm speechless!

    Lea

  21. #21
    Member Polly R's Avatar
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    Dear Anne

    Why were you so scared? From your picture, you really look the part - just wish I looked as good as you!

    However, it's not that long ago that I took that first baby-step out and I know how scary it is. But once you've taken it, it's still a little scary each time but each time, it diminishes as you feel more comfortable with yourself. Just play it cool and blend in...

    xx Polly
    On a journey from here to there. Mostly here but sometimes there....

  22. #22
    New Member
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    Good for you and thanks for sharing. I haven't quite made it that far but I don't think I am that far from doing the same thing. It is getting closer all the time.

  23. #23
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    "Oh, I've GOT TO READ THIS!", I thot after reading your thread heading!

    Never let it be said that this site can't lead ANY CLOSET DRESSER down the "yellow brick CD road"! Or in even worse, as in MY case, down the rabbit hole with Alice! If u told ME Sherry would be out in public locally, alone a year ago, I'd STILL BE LAFFING!

    Now, book your tickets to the Be All or better yet, the SCC in Sep, Anne! The grand mommy of them all! And, I'll SEE U THERE, GIRL!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  24. #24
    Aspiring Member KimberlyJean's Avatar
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    Congratulations! I too recently ventured out on a Saturday morning to the mall and it felt great, I was imagining the scene from Shrek when they are chasing him with the pitchforks and torches but no one noticed or cared I wasn't a woman. I spoke to a couple of people and passed the teenage girl test. I was looking at shoes and they came up to find some for their Mom who just happened to also be a size 11. I stood there for a couple of minutes, tried on a couple of pairs, I think they wanted the one pair I tried on but they didn't say anything and didn't read me as male. Then their mom showed up and I squeezed past them to leave and they didn't even look twice at me. Now the guy at the counter asked me 3 times if I need help. Overall it felt really good, I had to go home because I had to pee really bad and wasn't brave enough to use either bathroom.

  25. #25
    Formerly Deborah Whitney
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    Congratulations Anne! Of course, we must all insist on knowing just how fabulous you looked, as well as felt. Hurry!

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