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Thread: going on a date en femme

  1. #1
    New Member gailgirl9's Avatar
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    going on a date en femme

    I think I would like to go on a date with a man. I am not necessarily attracted to men, but I am attracted to the fact that they find me attractive. I don't want a date where sex is expected on the first date. It's not that I couldn't, its just that I want to take it slow. What is a safe way to find someone agreeable to that? All of the dating sites seem so s****ty, and are not what I am interested in. Where does a girl go to find a nice guy?

  2. #2
    Junior Member Princess_Andria's Avatar
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    Hmm this is quite tricky hun. Obviously you want to keep it safe, what about men you already know? (that know your a crossdresser) the thing is with random guys you never know. If you do know any guys personally and you trust them ask if theyed take you out. But apart from that i would say go en femme places (maybe to a TG/CD bar). Hope this helps hun.

    Andria x

  3. #3
    Cat's Eye Siren ArleneRaquel's Avatar
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    Gail,
    I would not advise you to look for dates when you are alone. Always go out with other girls, Cd's, TG,s, going out alone can be so dangerous. A CD friendly bar might be a good place to start. But never alone, if you should find a man and he wants a date never, never meet at his place or a place of your choosing. After you get to know the gentlemen other arrangements can be made. Since 2004 I have dated several men, including many who were not gentlemen, change that many to more than one or two. Stay safe.
    Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years. Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady

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  4. #4
    Member reneecd13's Avatar
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    I had those feeling to. So what I did I met someone one line and we chatted for months may even a year. That way I could find out what he is like and why he was interested in me. One day he wanted to meet , so I told we will meet where there is a lot of people. He said ok, so we meet talk some more about each other. It was a good time. Then he wanted to go out I had him pick me up so I could have that feeiling of being the real woman that I am. He took me to a drag show and it ws great and then we went to the back bar. When he took me home he walked me to the door and I gave him a good by kiss. It was great to be treated like the woman that I am. Then we started dating and it was great from there.

  5. #5
    Member Terri Andrews's Avatar
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    I have met several men by doing what women do to meet men ,I go to things like concerts ,musuems ,and in warmer weather ,outdoor events .
    I have been asked out several times ,but have declined ,so far .

  6. #6
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    I have an idea! There were these two crossdressers and one said to the other, "let's be frank with one another." The other replied, "okay, I'll be Frank tonight and you be Frank tomorrow!" Budda boom!.......Just an idea to do with one of us as your date.

  7. #7
    Girl underconstruction Paulette's Avatar
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    I had the pleasure about two years ago of being in Central Florida and meeting a guy who used to dress in the Boston area before moving to Florida. he and I met on the internet and then in person in drab for coffee. We agreed to meet for dinner with him picking me up. Since none of the GG's were wearing dresses at that time of year (hot-humid-hot) I chose a shorts and nice top outfit. He picked me up insisting on opening the car door and closing it when ever we got to the car. he also opened the door to the restaurant and took care f requesting our table. He ordered wine and my meal ( I selected the items and told him what I desired). We had a wonderful meal and everyone treated me as the lady I was dressed as. There was no romance as i was not looking for that and neither was he. He was just another sister helping a new friend enjoy being a girl on a date.
    Just and older girl trying to experience all that life can bring.
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  8. #8
    Aspiring Member Dawna Ellen Bays's Avatar
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    I am DEFINITELY not attracted to men at all. That said, I DO wonder what it would be like to be out on a date with a guy and really be treated like a lady. If I was actually "out" and had any really accepting friends, I'd try and see if we could arrange a "date" ...drinks, dinner, nightclub, maybe even a "goodnight kiss" just for kicks...

  9. #9
    Member Being Paige's Avatar
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    I would love to go out an a date with a man, be treated like a lady and to have his full attention on me!

  10. #10
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Annie's rite! If you're not attracted to men, but your fem side simply wants to go out and see what it feels like to be treated as a woman on a date, find a sympathetic straight CD! You'll BOTH probably have a ball!

    I certainly mite do that!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  11. #11
    Cat's Eye Siren ArleneRaquel's Avatar
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    Being treated as a lady by a gentleman is a heavenly experience. If he's not a gentleman it can be hell and I mean it. I have never had a threatening experience on a date,but who never know you of what you will run into, so please ladies always be careful. So far the non gentleman have been boring or louts, who think the they are nature's gift to the world. I hope that I didn't lead the thread too far off course, but ladies please think of yourself first
    Last edited by ArleneRaquel; 03-13-2012 at 03:23 PM.
    Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years. Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady

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  12. #12
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    Be careful. There are lots of crazy people out there.

  13. #13
    Member laura.lapinski's Avatar
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    I would like to do this too. I would love to take another CD out on a date and treat her as my real girlfriend. I'd also like to have her dress in boy mode and have her take me out as the girl too. Of course, we could also go out together, both as girls. I'm into either one of these three scenarios, but I can't find any CD friends actually willing to meet.

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member Carol A's Avatar
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    Well for me it is Wal-Mart, you would be surprised at the men you can meet. I had a older man pick me up once but all he wanted was a women to talk with, poor guy lost his wife and needed someone to talk to.

  15. #15
    New Member gailgirl9's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by laura.lapinski View Post
    I would like to do this too. I would love to take another CD out on a date and treat her as my real girlfriend. I'd also like to have her dress in boy mode and have her take me out as the girl too. Of course, we could also go out together, both as girls. I'm into either one of these three scenarios, but I can't find any CD friends actually willing to meet.
    That has always been one of my fantasies as well! If both pass, it works so well: both get two dates, and of of them is en femme, but safely. Would be great! If I am ever in southern CA, perhaps we can meet.

  16. #16
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    The key there is "fantasy". Why would you even think of dating a man when you are not attracted to them, We used to have names for girls like that in High School. (And this is really high schoolish). I am going to very frank here. Dream about it, don't do it.

    I am not saying that every date needs to end as a romantic encounter but WTH? You ask how to be safe? If you are putting yourself in a situation that isn't safe why are you even considering it? Consider this. What you are basically asking is for a sugar daddy. You want a man who doesn't want any commitment from you or even more now sexual return. How many men do you know who just want to throw money at a crossdresser? really? REALLY?

    And some wonder why women get so upset when they find out their SO CD's
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  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by gailgirl9 View Post
    Where does a girl go to find a nice guy?
    The universal question. GGs talk about it all the time, more so with advancing age (Google the likelihood of a never-married 40-something finding Mr. Right sometime...). Much, MUCH harder for gurls, for pretty obvious reasons. They are out there, though. There are all kinds of online groups and sources you can plow through, but be prepared to filter out a lot of guys you'd want nothing to do with. The thing about CD/TG/TS is that there are more than a few men who find us especially attractive because we're not GGs, and not just gays in denial or fetishists. I think it has a lot to do with our exaggerated expression of femininity (by modern standards). The dresses, skirts, hose, heels, lingerie, makeup, perfume stuff that so many GGs don't seem to have a passion for these days, or reserve for the occasional formal setting. I suppose some of them also get a thrill from knowing our secret and together convincing others that we're "normal" couples out for a date.

    You can watch Craigslist for men looking (casual encounters: m4t) and respond (make up an anonymous dummy e-mail account first), or advertise yourself (t4m) and sift through the responses. You may well find a few with whom you'd like to correspond further. You can tell a lot about them from how they write and what they say. Tell them what you wrote in your OP and see how they respond. Be prepared for unanswered messages. A lot of them want to play with the fantasy but then get cold feet when you try to arrange a meeting. That's why you see a lot of gurl-seeking-guy ads that emphatically state "no endless emails".

    I was contacted through a Yahoo group by a very nice man a decade ago, and we had several nice outings (and nightcaps). Not anyone I'd hitch my life to, but a special friend and a truly nice man. Then I met my wife, and that was that. She knew him as well through the group and several group nights out (her ex was a CD), and she knew I'd dated him before she and I fell for each other, so I never had to hide my recent past from her. Just sent him an email (we lived 200 miles apart) explaining things, and we wished each other well.

    Funny thing, life.

  18. #18
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Acastina View Post
    The thing about CD/TG/TS is that there are more than a few men who find us especially attractive because we're not GGs, and not just gays in denial or fetishists. I think it has a lot to do with our exaggerated expression of femininity (by modern standards). The dresses, skirts, hose, heels, lingerie, makeup, perfume stuff that so many GGs don't seem to have a passion for these days, or reserve for the occasional formal setting. I suppose some of them also get a thrill from knowing our secret and together convincing others that we're "normal" couples out for a date.
    More like just a few. It would be extremely rare to find a guy no matter what age who would be willing to just go on a date and not want more.

    You can watch Craigslist for men looking (casual encounters: m4t) and respond (make up an anonymous dummy e-mail account first), or advertise yourself (t4m) and sift through the responses.
    Well there goes "safe". IF you get a guy to respond and follow through, do you really want a guy who posts on the internet? (Maybe you could call their wife too)

    Am I the only one not living a fairytale here? Or am I the only one who has met more creeps than anyone should? I really have only met two men who had no sexual designs on me in the last few months, they were a couple and gay.

    Let me reiterate. 1) if they date you they have ulterior motives. Even rich OLD men don't date just to have a companion ONCE. They want a sexual companion or they need a beard. 2) Guys don't date without expecting more than a handshake. 3) If they date a TG in any manner other than a TS they are Bi or GAY, they are not straight and they are NOT stupid. You will be the bottom probably and often they will use you and dump you (again ask their wife) 4) There is no such thing as a safe date. You have to always be aware. (GG's wanna back me on this?) 5) This is a fantasy. It isn't what you expect it to be. It will go suddenly and probably horribly wrong if you go into it thinking he will stay a gentleman. 6) you are exactly what you hated in High School You are a tease and a user because you want nothing more than a meal ticket and dance partner.

    Now if you pay them to take you out then you are hiring an escort.

    Maybe it is age, maybe it is experience, maybe it is years of knowing guys (hey guys talk.). Maybe I am crazy trying to convince you otherwise.
    Last edited by Lorileah; 03-18-2012 at 09:35 PM.
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  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by gailgirl9 View Post
    I think I would like to go on a date with a man. I am not necessarily attracted to men, but I am attracted to the fact that they find me attractive. I don't want a date where sex is expected on the first date. It's not that I couldn't, its just that I want to take it slow. What is a safe way to find someone agreeable to that? All of the dating sites seem so s****ty, and are not what I am interested in. Where does a girl go to find a nice guy?
    Since it is because of their attraction to you that interests you, why exclude lesbians? Especially since you are attracted to women and not men...

  20. #20
    Silver Member noeleena's Avatar
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    Hi,

    Id reverse the ? for those who are men you take & woman out & what would you expect of her would you be prepared to take her out & be friends, have a good time & maybe again , or would you wont more & would you expect to take her to bed a one night stand,,

    Im a woman & yes iv been asked to be friends & i know they wont to take it futher im on many forums & sites & i have had men ask, they would like to get better aquanted with a view to marrage, iv had 5,

    & i have writen to each one a nice post letter saying it would not work because they would need more than i can give ,with out going in to all the details yes im a woman just a non sexual one due to my surgerys,

    If you do go out as intended be very carefull have a back up person near by stay with in a safe place that you know & ....DONT....go any where alone with any guy . & certinly ....NOT..... to your home . i will allso say no drink & ....IF YOU DO DONT LEAVE your drink with out you. youv heard of the pill dropers, knock out pill's,

    im upfront honist & dont play along or do games, Any way just think of the consqense if things should go wrong first before commiting to what ever,

    ...noeleena...

  21. #21
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    Better to go out with a group of CD girls from here. There has to be some in your area.

  22. #22
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bree_K View Post
    Since it is because of their attraction to you that interests you, why exclude lesbians? Especially since you are attracted to women and not men...
    I had a great relationship with a couple of lesbians. They were attractive and did not hate men.
    We were not in and out of bed but because I treated them like hooman beans and not as potential conquests we could joke a lot about our disabilities and had a great time. I was taught a lot how to act like a girl and they lined me up with fabulous gg dates. Loved those times
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  23. #23
    Member Lorenqt's Avatar
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    You have to make sure you're safe (not just safe sex). Talk extensively with him, either through texting, email, or phone calls. Meet him in public a couple of times. And you may want to make sure he knows that you pack a little something extra, so he won't be freaked out.

    Quote Originally Posted by gailgirl9 View Post
    Where does a girl go to find a nice guy?
    If you find that out, be sure to tell the rest of us.

  24. #24
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    How about meeting a guy at church or the produce section of the super market?
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
    Chief Joseph
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    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Being Paige View Post
    I would love to go out an a date with a man, be treated like a lady and to have his full attention on me!
    Me too...someday I would love to do this. Someday......when I can pass.

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