Living the Dream

[AnitaH]

For 40 years or so I have struggled with this cross-dressing thing. Struggled to control it, stop it, even suppress it. But in all these years there was always the dream, the desire, the fantasy if you will, to be able to go out and about in public. To shop in the mall, eat in restaurants, take in a movie all while fully dressed as a woman. Even those times that I had purged, stopped all cross-dressing activities this dream, this fantasy would not stop. It was always there tormenting me, calling out to me. When I thought everything was under control, the last vestiges of femininity had been culled, my tormentor would return just as strongly as ever before.

Finally, and thankfully, late last year I came to my senses. I quit fighting it, accepted and embraced my transgendered nature. I made a New Years resolution to make time for Anita and get her out. This I have already done.

I have regularly attended the local TG social group and been out alone at a mall several times. Just yesterday I went to my therapist dressed in a woman's bright red blouse, dark gray woman's slacks with thin red and gray vertical stripes, red boots, red purse and my new light brunette shoulder length wig. (sorry no pics, but I will try to get some next time I wear it) After my session I went to a Friendly's restaurant for lunch then off to a thrift store for some shopping as the woman I am. The day continued with a trip to a mall for shopping and walking about. Later in the afternoon I took in a movie at that mall then back out to the mall some more. Although much shopping was done little was actually purchased. On the way home I stopped at a Denny's restaurant for supper before finally returning home.

All in all I was out about 12 hours and it was all good. I don't know if anyone clocked me or not. I didn't hear any remarks nor see anyone pointing my way. No one in the restaurants appeared to be uncomfortable in my presence. The SA's and waitresses were all very kind and helpful. Of course I tipped well for their kindness.

Finally after all these years the dream is starting to become reality. It is all as good as was imagined for all that time. Only now does living feel like it should. life now feels right and it feels good. Dare I say that life is a little happier now. I don't know where this is going and before it is all over perhaps I'll need to transition but I know that I can never go back to pretending to be the man I never really was. Life demands that the woman within me is allowed to live.

Why do I post this, I wish to encourage others out there to not wait so long, don't spend so many years fighting, suppressing something that may be an important part of yourself. Life is short and before you realize it you may be in your declining days looking back with regrets for what you never risked.

I'm living the dream, it is good.

AnitaH

[Marleena]

Very good advice here Anita! I suppressed who I am for decades it's not worth it. I'm much happier now.

[STACY B]

So sweet ,,, HUH !! When it all comes together ? Ya cant tell anyone , This is one trip ,, Ride , Journey , Quest, Ya just gotta take all by ya self , So its good for ya to tell everyone but they will ride alone just like we did. But its still good to talk . So jus like I said IM FREEEEEEEE FALLIN !!!!

[ArleneRaquel]

Anita,
Your post is excellent and spot on. Hugs.

[IamSara]

Anita,
It is definitely the dream come true. As someone who is just coming to terms with the need to transition after years and years of denying it just to be able to go out as Sara is a breath of fresh air.
Thanks for the post it was wonderful to see some one else able to live the dream so to speak.

[docrobbysherry]

How wonderful for u, Anita! Not all of us need, or even want to go out dressed! But, for those that do, your post is an EXCELLENT BEACON OF LIGHT! Thanks so much for a most delightful post!

[Kaz]

Thanks Anita... a great post and told with so much emotion. Very inspirational.

[Kate Simmons]

Contrary to what many may think, there are forces above and beyond that induce us to do this and hold the carrot out. We have to show them who is boss to regulate it. Sometimes I think it is a test of our willpower.

[Foxglove]

Nice story, Anita. It's one advantage the young girls have over us: the fact that they have the net, and can communicate with others. They may not find acceptance any easier than us, but they do have the chance while they're young to try and figure out what they are.

I think a lot of us older folks repressed our true natures for so long simply because we didn't know we weren't alone. I know that when I was young, I wouldn't have dreamed of telling anyone what I was. It simply wasn't the environment I grew up in. Now that we can communicate, a lot of us are impatient to free ourselves of the shackles placed on us--by society and ourselves. Simply learning that we have lots of good company is a huge advance for us.

Best wishes, Annabelle

[marie354]

I too had spent decades in turmoil.
Now, however, I'm closing on the 5-year mark RLE 24-7 as a woman.
It's been the best decision I've made!
I was a but nervous at first, but after a while I began to notice that it didn't bother most people at all. My family and friends accepted my coming out, and I am now much more relaxed.
Some people still call me Sam, but most have accepted that I am Sandy now and address me as so.
So, yes... If you feel that you really want to change, DO IT NOW! Make your dreams come true. I have, and it's been fantastic!
~~Sandy~~

[AnitaH]

Thank you everyone for your replies to my post. It's so helpful knowing your not alone in the world. It helps having found some souls that understand, both here and at the local TG group. (found via the I-net by the way)

Thank you Sandy for your encouragement and your example. I will remember your words as I continue my self-examinations.

AnitaH

[Barbara Ella]

AnitaH, your post clearly shows why talking to each other and letting our inner thoughts come to the surface will only serve to help each and everyone of us realize just what it is inside of us that must be fulfilled. All will not have the same wonderful calling you have now realized, but what is really important is that each one of has the opportunity to advance exactly as far as we desire. The key is recognizing, and not repressing that final desire.

I have only been cross dressing for 6 months, and have no clue where I am going with this, but posts and experiences communicated as clearly and thoughtfully as yours provide the impetus for thinking and discussing all possibilities,and realizing that none of them are really out of reach. I know there is something feminine lurking within me, but I have no idea the depth to which it is intertwined in my being, and I will not ignore it, I cannot ignore it

Thanks so much for sharing

Babes