What real women wear

[AmberDay]

I have started the next page of my journey and started going out in public dressed. My wife is constantly giving me advice what a 'real' woman wears. While I can see some of her points and value her help, I respectfully disagree with her on many items.

#1. Women don't wear dresses anymore. From what I have noticed, it depends on the location, time of day, and the occasion. Everyday driving through downtown around quitting time, or when I go to church, or even walking their dog through the park, I see several gg's wearing dresses.

#2. Women don't have long nails. It depends on the definition of 'long'. She thinks my nails are too long, but I think mine are just right. They are long enough to be noticed as feminine, but still short enough to do tasks (buttons, picking up change, etc)

#3. Women don't wear pantyhose anymore. While I agree that unfortunately pantyhose has dropped off drastically I still see gg's wearing them often. Usually while 'dressed up' for work.

#4. Women don't wear high heels. See it all the time. In fact I am having difficulty finding a nice pair of non-heel dress shoes. Seems all these stores (Target, Walmart, Meijers, etc) sell high heels. The few 'flat' dress shoes look awful.

#5 Women don't wear lingerie (satin gowns, corsets, lace, etc. / also I'm not talking about wearing this in public!) While granted I don't see my wife wearing that stuff, I'm pretty sure that there are some gg's that do wear satin pjs, and maybe even a few that like the feeling of satin. While lingerie may not be her thing, it is mine.

#6 Women don't go all out on makeup to go to the grocery store. This I concede to her on in principle. Yes, most women don't bother putting on foundation, powder, blush, and lipstick on to go buy a gallon of milk, but I have to give myself as big of a chance on passing as I can. While I don't pass all the time, I have less incidents of getting 'read' while wearing make up; even to the grocery store. If I don't wear makeup, I would get clocked immediately; guy in a wig. While wearing makeup, I tend to blend in better. People see makeup and look right over my face without actually looking at me if I put the effort in.

I discussed this topic with my therapist in great length and she made a good point. "Don't wear what other people tell you to wear, wear what you want to wear." Just because my wife and a lot of other gg's don't dress up or wear makeup, satin, or heels, doesn't mean I shouldn't if it makes me happy. If I was born a gg' I know I would be just as feminine as I am now. I love my long painted nails, my pretty blue dress, my lipstick colors, my satin pj's, and the feel of hose on my smooth legs. That is the type of girl I am. There are many different types of people out there. Some women are feminine and some aren't. Nothing wrong with either. Guess I will just be me.

Amber

[Sandra1746]

Just try and formulate a description of a "real woman". Pretty difficult as they come in an amazing variety; each is unique. We CD-types are also unique too. I think your therapist hit it well by telling you to wear what you want. There may be times when your choice makes you stand out but unless it causes a threatening situation, who cares.

For myself I'm taking it slow and doing slacks and tops, this is for casual places like the mall so I blend in pretty well, as long as nobody looks too closely. And most people don't.

Enjoy life,
Sandra1746

[dominique]

I like to watch what they wear. I notice that a majority now a days wear jeans, trousers etc. But they're a few who wear tights and skirts. that's who I tend to emulate. Call me old fashioned but I love to wear skirts and tights.

[Karren H]

Personally I'd rather not dress like a current modern "real" woman..... So what if I'm the only person in a dress in the building... Wearing makeup... In stockings and heels and a corset? Reality is user defined not what someone else thinks it should be.... Funny at the Home and Garden show yesterday all of the women in the booths were sure dressed up to the nines even if the "real" women there with their husbands to look at their "products" weren't. Lol. I'm still glad my wife isn't involved in my hobby.... It's the one thing in my life that I truley have total control over..... "Real" or not.....

[noeleena]

Hi,

Im a woman who is different, not a dresser or trans so what do i wear, most days here at home or down the street or out in the Village 3.500 people or two of our bigger towns 38.000 & 15.000 people,

I wear a skirt allmost every day/ night, tees tops & over tops with out sleaves & as it gets colder coats . flates & or ankle boots, & my head wear most times head scarves,of different colours. as you see in my pic,

Most women wear pants or jeans not all mind you, most of us dont have make up on .
I dont, just eyebrow liner & lippy unless im going out to our meetings & to evening's out,

i dont pass or blend in & i dont try to because im well known.

1, some women do wear dress's over here, not many,unless its a do or evening out ,
i do for our Edwardian meeting's, plus 20 others, thats our group ,

2 ,nails are short & no nail pol, no point for myself as i do manual work.

3, some of us do again go's with no 1

4, some do 2 , in, to 3 ,in , heels, again not many. im in flats most of the time,

5 , i dont,

6, well now i see quite a few younger women with to muchmake up on & it detracts from there true beauty,
My self what would i do that for, i have been asked by our young girls./ women from school at the time was i wearing any make up they thought i was & when i said no they were surprised, & commented on how lovely my complection was / is. & i dont need it,

So for a 64 year old woman thats says something. olive skin, got a have something right, .a. & i worked out side most of my life 46 years,

one detail is of cause your head of hair, no comment here , dont have any. so no probs,

...noeleena...

[LeaP]

I've seen a large change in the last few years back toward a dressier look. More dresses & skirts for sure, and young women wear them short and low-cut besides. Hosiery is spotty. It had disappeared for years, but seems to have come back to a degree. I don't see long nails much at all. Heavier make-up is common, day and night. All of this pertains mostly to younger people, however.

This also varies regionally. New England is noted for its lack of attention to dress-up and for plainer hair styles. The South and portions of the West still dress up more and use make-up more.

Lea

[Stephenie S]

My opinion?

Listen to you wife. She is right there and has your (and her) best interests at heart. Listen to her.

S

[Noortje]

I'm pretty sure 'women' are a varied group. There's, like, two million of them?

But seriously, the things you list seem to describe a general trend more than anyone in specific. I think most of those would be more true if they were formulated as: 'women are no longer expected to...' Lots of women have long nails. They just don't have to have them anymore. Lots of women wear dresses. It's just no longer mandatory.

Maybe your wife is just scared that you'll turn into a stereotype? Especially if you break all those 'rules' at once?

[Julia_in_Pa]

When I first transitioned in 2006 you would never see me without makeup, a dress or skirt on and groomed to the nines.
With each passing year my " need " to dress extremely well each day became less and less a need and a want.
Now over five years of living full time I wear makeup maybe 20 % of the time and wear mostly pant suits, slacks and flats to work.
On my days off you rarely see me in anything but jeans, running shoes and a t-shirt.
I always take care of how I'm groomed and how I present but now I do nothing more than blend into the rest of the female population.



Julia

[kimdl93]

OK, my best barometer on what women wear would be observations of my wife. Next weekend, my wife and I are going to a wedding. she bought a new dress for the occassion. At work she wears business suits and skirts...occassionally slacks, and always wears pantyhose with skirts and dresses. On weekends, she dresses much more casually, usually knit tops and jeans. A generation futher along, I can observe my daughters and daugher in law. At work - its usually the same - business suits. For formal ocassions, dresses, and everyday can be any casual combination under the sun. So, I don't put much stock in "always" or "never". I think a more accurate term would be "it depends".

[Annie D]

Out of necessity and for the occasion, yes, I wear pants but when I go out I much rather prefer a skirt. For those of us who are not presenting as female 24/7, it is that opportunity to feel as feminine as possible as often as possible that we strive for; blend in yes but not at the cost of giving up our feminine personna. If I am forced to wear anything that remotely resembles male clothing when presenting as Annie, the jeans are tighter with "girlie" adornments on the pockets, the tops are more colorful and the shoes are anything but sneakers. Okay, I wear sneakers when I am out walking in spandex capris or some "short" shorts.

Julia, I applaud that you have made the transition to being female 24/7. It is my goal as well to someday to live as Annie full-time. I believe, in my heart, that once that day arrives that I too will succumb to being more casual and perhaps more comfortable in my presentation. I am not saying that females wearing jeans and cute tops are not extremely attractive but at this time I have the need to present in a way that is most desirable for me.

[Julia Welch]

When I first transitioned in 2006 you would never see me without makeup, a dress or skirt on and groomed to the nines.
With each passing year my " need " to dress extremely well each day became less and less a need and a want.
Now over five years of living full time I wear makeup maybe 20 % of the time and wear mostly pant suits, slacks and flats to work.
On my days off you rarely see me in anything but jeans, running shoes and a t-shirt.
I always take care of how I'm groomed and how I present but now I do nothing more than blend into the rest of the female population.



Julia

If your avatar is anything to go by you blend very well ... you're definately an attractive looking woman

[Kate Simmons]

Well, real women don't eat quiche either, but I digress.....

[suchacutie]

I have learned over these last few years that second-guessing my wife is a big mistake. My wife not only is clear about the importance of each issue we discuss, but she will expand on various options. After all, she's done this "girl" thing all her life and is well in tune with what should or should not be done, and everything in between.

We are the learners, they are the mentors! Oh, and when Tina has learned her lesson well, my wife tells her that, and we move on to the next thing

[Julia_in_Pa]

Ummm..Errrr...Well thank you Julia!!!


Julia

If your avatar is anything to go by you blend very well ... you're definately an attractive looking woman

[KaTanya]

With the variety of women's clothing, this might be an exercise in futility due to all the situational factors. You're more likely to see a more casual look at the grocery store than you are at Macy's. If you spend a lot of time in a business environment, you're mpre likely to see "dress" than you are on a college campus; opera vs. punk show (actually, you'll some cool looks at the punk show, so donm't knock it.)

sometimes trying too hard to "blend" can cause you stick out like a sore thumb. Take your wife's advice under advisement and extrapolate your look from there.

[docrobbysherry]

While many women dress very casually or even slobbishly here, there r still some who wish to turn men's heads! I prefer to emulate THOSE! And after all, there's nothing so VERY REAL about Sherry, anyway!

I CAN blend if I have to, sort of! But, I DON'T HAVE TO LIKE IT!

[Julia Welch]

Ummm..Errrr...Well thank you Julia!!!


Julia

You're welcome Julia ... I simply speak the truth as I see it.

[Jeninus]

I have observed that there is almost a caste system in the way women working in law offices (the work environment with which I am most familiar) are dressed. The professionals, the female attorneys, are almost always dressed in skirt suits, especially when they must be in Court. One exception is in the summer, when they will wear smart dresses on hot days that are MUCH more comfortable than our suits and ties. The paralegals and secretaries typically wear trousers or pants suits. The support staff are the most casually dressed -- slacks or jeans. It is probably similar in other fields.

Except in winter, the female attorneys generally don't wear hose with their skirt suits; and flats and low heels are much more common than high heels. Even in the professions we are observing the slow collapse of fashion standards, that parallels the steady decay and decline of Western Civilization. Sheesh, even our Secretary of State and the German Chancellor wear pants suits. I can remember when NO woman would go into the city without wearing a skirt and hose. Gloves and hats were also common, especially in church.

One fashion monstrosity is that certain ethnic women with enormous derrieres (frequently in disproportion to the rest of their frames) frequently wear absolutely skin tight (usually black) stretch plastic pants that reveal every ripple and dip of cellulite. Those clothes can't be comfortable, and a loose skirt or dress would hide those eyesores. Interestingly, upper middle class South American women in this area dress very smartly and usually in dresses or skirt suits. It seems to be a cultural thing and they do it, I think, to please their men.

I believe that our culture is the victim of the feminist movement, and even in France, in Paris, the majority of women on the street are wearing slacks or jeans. As a side note I should mention that the incidence of obese women I observed in Paris is far less than half what we see here. Maybe obesity has as much to do with killing fashion as the feminists. The nicest clothes start at size 10, and go down from there.

[5150 Girl]

I think the first rule of what women wear is that there is no rule! When I go to Wally World, I see the gammit of atire. Everyhting from PJ's to yes, I've even seen a GG in a fromal gown once... She seemd to be grabbing a last minute somthing. She looked like she was definately on a mission!
Would one go to the grocery dressed to the 9's? Well, if she was stopping by after work, a meeting what have you to pick up an exta item or two...

[Cooljune59]

I think the "rule" was gone back in the 70's I have seen frumpy in pj's to decked right out. It seems it depends on the GG's mood and what she feels like that particular day. I say dress as you please when you feel the mood.

[Flent]

One fashion monstrosity is that certain ethnic women with enormous derrieres (frequently in disproportion to the rest of their frames)

Certain ethnic women? WTF? Women come in all shapes and sizes, and our natural feminine bodies are not "frequently in disproportion". Don't even get me started on the "victim of the feminist movement" thing…

Amber, dress appropriately for your age and your surroundings and you'll be fine. On one hand, you say you want to blend in, but on the other, it sounds like your preferences run contrary to what most of the women around you wear.

Lingerie, pantyhose and medium-length nails aren't things I'd notice when passing someone in a shop. I'd only notice the dress or makeup if there were something remarkable about it, for example an evening look worn at 10am. The heels could be a dead giveaway however. But confidence goes a long way in pulling off any look, the main thing is that you're comfortable with it.

[Eryn]

...I discussed this topic with my therapist in great length and she made a good point. "Don't wear what other people tell you to wear, wear what you want to wear."

Guess what, that is exactly what "other women wear!"

There is no uniform! Yes, most women wear jeans, but I see a fair minority out there in dresses, particularly as the weather warms up. Yes, most women have short nails and don't wear polish, but some do. Most women don't wear pantyhose, but if they're going out in a dress and it's a bit chilly most women will dig up a pair. The same goes for heels, lingerie, and makeup.

I don't dress like the average woman because I'm not the average woman. I'm tall, fiftyish, have a few wrinkles, and frankly look a bit mannish. A GG in my position would be more likely to wear makeup and nail polish than a twentysomething would. I buy my dresses off of the same racks at Macy's and Kohl's that GGs do, and I doubt that those dresses are strictly for CDers. I wear them to appropriate events, like nice dinners or shows. If I'm just going for a stroll through the mall I might wear jeans or a sweaterdress and leggings since they make trying on things easier. That's what a GG would do as well.

Do pay attention to what other people are wearing but don't let them completely dictate your own style. If you do, you might as well be in drab.

Hugs, Eryn

[Misti]

Re. What real women wear!

I believe that our culture is the victim of the feminist movement, and even in France, in Paris, the majority of women on the street are wearing slacks or jeans. As a side note I should mention that the incidence of obese women I observed in Paris is far less than half what we see here. Maybe obesity has as much to do with killing fashion as the feminists. The nicest clothes start at size 10, and go down from there.

I basically agree, Jeninus. But it's different all over the world. As they say in Paris, "Vive La Difference!"

As to your post, Amber, I have been thinking along the same lines the past few days. It may be because I am getting ready to spring the "finished Misti look" on my SO pretty soon now. Trouble is, she doesn't know about "M;" she only knows me as Lola ("Whatever Lola wants, etc..." And Lola is not a "dress up girl," yet!), and she goes along 100% there. But what to wear, "Aye, that's the question?"

In an unofficial poll I've been taking the past few days as I move out and about amongst the GG(?) population of greater Las Vegas, your SO's probably 85-95% right about the average GG's today's wear? At least in Vegas today, but it's certainly a far cry from what it used to be in the old "Vegas glamour days!"

I think we CD's tend to overdo this whole "passing thing," and/or "GG look" because we have so many "male" faults/flaws, etc., to cover up overall. It's a huge, huge disadvantage for us to overcome, to be sure, whereas GG's, in the main part, don't seem to give a "Rat's A$$ Less" about how "They Pass?" Point being, they don't have to "Pass" at all, ever, so they do whatever "turns them on, at any 'ol time that fits them." Besides, after all, they've earned that right, they're the GG's; so I have absolutely no fight, nor any qualms what-so-ever about their dress, demeanor, decorum, et cetera, et cetera. They are GG's. Period. And, we are not; that is, until that knife says otherwise. Period. But what do we (CD's) wear, "Aye, that's the question?" That said, I dearly love to dress up to the nines. PERIOD.

Soon, I hope, we (CD's) can all emulate our role models and not give a "Rat's A$$ about what we wear," either. Not very realistic, for sure, but in the meantime, we'll probably go on overdoing it like we always have???

[AmandaM]

I didn't see it mentioned. Women don't wear slips any more unless they're "old", that's what the young women say anyway. Same thing for full briefs, only grannies wear those.