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Thread: Do all MTF crossdressers want to become women?

  1. #101
    The Girl in a blue dress. Jennifer B's Avatar
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    I would love to experience being a Woman, but I would not wish to become a Woman permanently.

    I would love to live as a real Woman for a week or a month even, but ultimately it would be a temporary arrangement. If I could press a button and physically become female, with the knowledge that I could press the same button and return to being male in an instant then I would do it every week.

    Obviously I can't do that, but I do it on a smaller scale through cross dressing and love it. After all is said and done I'm a male and that's how I will always revert to being, no matter what. Hopefully in the century's to come technology with be such that we can choose to gender hop at will. I think that such a thing would be a hugely beneficial learning experience for both sexes.

  2. #102
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    Hi PA, I'm happy having the best of both worlds.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

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  3. #103
    Full-Time Duality NathalieX66's Avatar
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    Becoming a woman is an existential question.....it goes way beyond the clothes.
    Like the old 1970's television series Six million Dollar Man....."we have the technology.....we can rebuild him."
    Yes, all the resources are available in changing gender, they work. I have seen it, and I am amazed .....is this really who you are?....what are you?
    There, I said it.
    Last edited by NathalieX66; 03-18-2012 at 09:05 PM.

  4. #104
    Crossdresser Taylor186's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by paperairplanes View Post
    Anyone who wants to answer:
    Do you crossdress to feel better about yourself due to self esteem ... or is it sexual??
    Or do you just not know?

    Thanks again
    If you want a lot of responses to this you might want to post your second question as a separate message. More people will see it.

    But, the answer for me it that it is not primarily self esteem or sexual. It is more of an escape or performance or provides a feeling of comfort and happiness. Why? I have no idea.

    A quote I like that rings true for me is: "If you know why you crossdress, then you are not one."


    That said, my self esteem did improve greatly when I accepted the fact that I was crossdresser, and that it was OK.
    Last edited by Taylor186; 03-18-2012 at 09:18 PM.

  5. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by NathalieX66 View Post
    Becoming a woman is an existential question.....it goes way beyond the clothes.
    Like the old 1970's television series Six million Dollar Man....."we have the technology.....we can rebuild him."
    Yes, all the resources are available in changing gender, they work. I have seen it, and I am amazed .....is this really who you are?....what are you?
    There, I said it.
    Well... gender is internal. Sex is external. (or at least that's what the definitions seem to be changing to... and the ones I use).

    If we could change gender, change my brain, I would have done it in a heart beat. But we can't... so I gotta change my sex the best I can. Hormones, surgeries, etc. Still gonna be missing a few internal parts... still gonna have those chromosomes... but gotta work with what I've got...

  6. #106
    What is normal anyway? Rianna Humble's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NathalieX66 View Post
    all the resources are available in changing gender, they work. I have seen it, and I am amazed
    I have not come across the ability to change gender - the only resources I have come across are used to recognise gender and in the case of surgery to confirm the gender by altering the person's sex (hence the term transsexual).

    Quote Originally Posted by NathalieX66 View Post
    .....is this really who you are?....what are you?
    Who I am is a woman by the name of Rianna with a birth defect in that my sex did not correspond to my gender.

    What I am is a woman. Or if we go by the medical definition, I am a transsexual who has not yet completed the transition.


    Quote Originally Posted by Bree_K View Post
    If we could change gender, change my brain, I would have done it in a heart beat. But we can't... so I gotta change my sex the best I can. Hormones, surgeries, etc. Still gonna be missing a few internal parts... still gonna have those chromosomes... but gotta work with what I've got...
    Couldn't have said it any better (so I didn't try).
    Last edited by Rianna Humble; 03-19-2012 at 05:19 AM. Reason: Added quote
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  7. #107
    Junior Member silkeze's Avatar
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    I'm with you. I would love to be able to transition,but I feel as if I would still be attracted to females!
    The dress doe's not make the Man!

  8. #108
    Silver Member BRANDYJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by paperairplanes View Post
    I know it will be a long road to understanding and I know he doesn't quite yet understand it all himself, so it is hard for him to try put it into perspective for me. I appreciate your stories, personal life choices etc you have told me about and you are all beautiful people. Thank you so much, feeling a little bit better about things today x

    Oh, now I feel like I'm prying but there is another question I have wondered about!!

    Anyone who wants to answer:
    Do you crossdress to feel better about yourself due to self esteem ... or is it sexual??
    Or do you just not know?

    Thanks again
    I really don't have any self esteem issues and never had. So my dressing is not related to self esteem.
    As for it being sexual..... sometimes yes, sometimes no.
    I know I like to feel like a woman and act like one since I so admire everything about what a strong, feminine, loving, gentle creature of beauty they are. It's enjoyable, relaxing and an escape from the reality of everyday preasures that life can bring us. The feel of different fabrics also is sensual if not sexual. I could go on and on about all the joys of dressing, but I can't explain why it is so addictive and part of who many of us are.

  9. #109
    Gold Member Kaitlyn Michele's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bree_K View Post
    Well... gender is internal. Sex is external. (or at least that's what the definitions seem to be changing to... and the ones I use).

    If we could change gender, change my brain, I would have done it in a heart beat. But we can't... so I gotta change my sex the best I can. Hormones, surgeries, etc. Still gonna be missing a few internal parts... still gonna have those chromosomes... but gotta work with what I've got...
    This is an excellent way to look at the difference between transsexuals and crossdressers..
    Everything has exceptions..and some people will protest too much...

    It's not changing genders. It's using medicine to conform your life (at a minimum) and your body to your internal gender...
    generally speaking, as transsexuals age, we feel stuck, isolated and alone and are forced to change as a way to feel like they are living an honest life...and crossdressers think about how wonderful it would be to be a woman all time and about all the great things about being a woman..

    Transsexuals don't always experience those things because of all the personal and financial losses and the inability to be viewed by others as a woman... but as bree says, we gotta work with what we got
    ..at 6'2" i have my work cut out for me..

    hopefully in the future, the stigma will reduce and younger people can minimize the investment made in a wrong gendered life...ts and cd people will both get to freely express themselves without fear, and it will be a much simpler equation for folks with varying gender problems to explore who they are without risk...a crossdresser living as a woman full time would realize pretty quick that it isn't gonna work for them

  10. #110
    Member LaurenB's Avatar
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    Acastina, I agree totally with your comments. The "gateway drug" argument is a strong one in our culture. It tries to explain our innate "slippery-slope" fears for exactly the reasons you pointed out. Namely the largely western societal need to fit things into the binary. A moving target is scary and can't be controlled. Things are either good or they are bad. With us or against us.

    I'd like to add a further bit of exploration of the topic also by way of metaphor. To me the OP question is very close to the "is there life after death" question. How could someone really know if they would be happy on the other side? Not by speculation and imagination. Or even acting it out. Yes we (or perhaps some of us) do feel that we are of female gender inside. But to say conclusively is impossible until you've taken the irreversible step of SRS.

    I'll also add, at the risk of offending - and that's not my intent, that I detect a small but persistent undercurrent of regret when reading many of the TS posts on the overall forum. That feeling I get confirms to me that it is not a forgone conclusion at least in my head that the path leading from CD to TS is a one way street. The many poster's voicing the argument that this world we inhabit whether TS, TG or CD is a continuum is correct in my opinion.

    LB

  11. #111
    What is normal anyway? Rianna Humble's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LaurenB View Post
    I detect a small but persistent undercurrent of regret when reading many of the TS posts on the overall forum. That feeling I get confirms to me that it is not a forgone conclusion at least in my head that the path leading from CD to TS is a one way street.
    I may be reading different posts to you, but the two main regrets that I feel coming across from TS folk like myself are:

    1 I regret hiding from my true self for so long

    2 I regret the trolls who try to disrupt the discussions by making outlandish and disprovable claims about all CDs being closet TS

    I don't see much evidence of TS folk reverting to their previous gender identity and becoming cross-dressers again, but neither do I see much evidence of cross-dressing leading to becoming transsexual (although someone who is deep in denial may rediscover themself through cross-dressing).
    Check out this link if you are wondering about joining Safe Haven.

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  12. #112
    Crossdresser Taylor186's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rianna Humble View Post
    I may be reading different posts to you, but the two main regrets that I feel coming across from TS folk like myself are:

    1 I regret hiding from my true self for so long

    2 I regret the trolls who try to disrupt the discussions by making outlandish and disprovable claims about all CDs being closet TS

    I don't see much evidence of TS folk reverting to their previous gender identity and becoming cross-dressers again, but neither do I see much evidence of cross-dressing leading to becoming transsexual (although someone who is deep in denial may rediscover themself through cross-dressing).
    As a CD, I relate to and fully agree with Rianna's points one and two.

    Regarding detransition: This happens. The Wiki entry on Transsexualism quotes studies finding a number of between 4% and 8% for those unhappy with their transition, and many of those people detransition in some form. Mike Penner the LA Times Sports reporter was certainly a much publicized example of this. I have a friend from the support group I attended for several years that detransitioned.

    But I do agree these people do not return to their prior state--becoming just a crossdresser again--even if they retake on the male persona (or female if they were FTM).

  13. #113
    Member Lorenqt's Avatar
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    No, I wouldn't want (at least at this time) to go all the way with SRS.

  14. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by LaurenB View Post
    I'll also add, at the risk of offending - and that's not my intent, that I detect a small but persistent undercurrent of regret when reading many of the TS posts on the overall forum. That feeling I get confirms to me that it is not a forgone conclusion at least in my head that the path leading from CD to TS is a one way street.
    The only regret I have is being born broken. Transition attempts to fix that. I don't regret transitioning at all. I am happier now than I have ever been in my life. I am actually a person, not a walking shell of a human.

    But there is no path leading from crossdressing to transexual. Being transexual is something that has been there since birth. Transexuals may THINK they're crossdressers early in life while repressing their true identity. There are are transexuals who have never crossdressed in their life. I personally know two.

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