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Thread: Do all MTF crossdressers want to become women?

  1. #26
    Aspiring Member JessHaust's Avatar
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    Why would I want to limit myself that way? I much prefer the 'Gender Enhanced' mode that I have mow. I can be a boy when I want and I can be a girl when I want. But do I want to physically change my body? Not just no, but #*ll NO!
    Last edited by JessHaust; 03-15-2012 at 07:52 AM. Reason: tpyo's
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #27
    Junior Member Chrissy.Sexton's Avatar
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    Yes, absolutely. No question.

    Christine

  3. #28
    New Member from Scotland paulinescotlandcd's Avatar
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    100 % No, I enjoy the fun of seeing how good I can look as a woman (see pictures below in link) but I could not be bothered with all that work every day like my wife, e.g applying foundation etc makeup and above all the pressure to come up with a new outfit for the office every day. Apart from anything else I like being a man and doing manly things like laying patios working on my car etc etc. Whilst I love going to the shops and I don't complain how long it takes my wife to get ready the fact is I am 100% man, i just like the option of opting out for some fun.
    I will send you a PM

    You sound a bit like my wife,married 33 years, who for the first 20 years could not be persuaded that I had no intention of ever considering a sex change. In saying that I have known a number of crossdressers who have surprised me and went down that route.

    PS I tried to send you a private message but can't??
    Last edited by paulinescotlandcd; 03-15-2012 at 08:00 AM.

  4. #29
    Silver Member BRANDYJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chrissy.Sexton View Post
    Yes, absolutely. No question.

    Christine
    I hope you are speaking for yourself or are just joking. Either you are joking or you need to educate yourself to see how very wrong you are.

    Why would I want to limit myself that way? I much prefer the 'Gender Enhanced' mode that I have mow. I can be a boy when I want and I can be a girl when I want. But do I want to physically change my body? Not just no, but #*ll NO!
    Great answer Jess. My bet is the majority of CD's feel the same way. I know I do.

  5. #30
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    I think that your responses will be as varied as the outfits we choose to wear. This is a great question and you will be surprised at the number of replies that you will receive. I posted a thread several months ago titled "Do you want to be a woman?" and you may want to look back and compare those responses with the ones you get.

    I think that the time and place in a crossdresser's life has a great deal with their answer:
    When I was younger, I was satisfied to dressing occasionally; I was deeply in the closet.
    As I got older and married, I hid my dressing thinking that the joy of my life would make me forget my deviant behavior.
    Finding out I could not give it up, I confessed to my wife my enjoyment of dressing in women's clothes.
    As she slowly accepted my dressing, I dressed more frequently and ventured out into public and found that I was accepted, not necessarily passing but accepted.
    Because I love my wife and family, I would never undergo SRS, but I admit that once I was accepted publicly the thought crossed my mind quite often.
    The cost of such an endeavor is prohibitive and I would never take money/savings earmarked for my family to serve my own personal needs.

    As I have stated in the past, at my age and the place that I currently find myself, my goal is to someday present as female 24/7 but not change the physical parts of my body. Mentally, I feel that I am female and I am of the opinion that once reaching that plateau why undergo any more change?

    The women on this site who live as women 24/7 have talked about how their choices of clothing has changed from very feminine to casual feminine. Mentally, they accept themselves as female and no longer feel the need to present themselves at the ultra feminine side of the spectrum.

    I look forward to reading all the responses you receive from your post.

  6. #31
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    I think many crossdressers at some time wonder what it would be like to be a woman. Many of us are curious at some time what it would be like to be born a woman, with complete female anatomy. It's actually hard for me to believe that some men never had the thought cross their mind. But actually wanting to undergo surgery to become a woman would make one a transexual. I like to imagine sometimes, but I'll continue to be a guy that dresses every now and then.

    Are there any GG that never wondered what it would be like to be a man? hmmm

  7. #32
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    I'm not going to defend the CD's anymore. They can speak for themselves here.

    Only a minority are transsexual here. In most cases their life depends on being the right sex. I read about everything realated to being TG but have no interest in changing my genetic sex.

  8. #33
    Aspiring Member Carol A's Avatar
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    Not this old gal, I enjoy being who and what ever I want male or female.

  9. #34
    Member Lyric's Avatar
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    In a perfect magical sci-fi scenario I would be able to wiggle my nose and turn completely into a woman or a man instantly. I might spend half my time as one and half as the other. I would love to have great feminine hair and breasts all the time, but I can't say as I'd want to give up my main man parts. Public presentation is a matter or formality that I try not to think about too much.

    Lyric

  10. #35
    Emerging Diva Nikki A.'s Avatar
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    I can only answer for myself. Have I played the what if game, yes, but I don't think SRS is something that would be for me. I am attrated to women and women only. But I do enjoy dressing.

  11. #36
    Yes, that avatar IS me! Bailey_in_Mansfield's Avatar
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    General answer for most CDers: no, not all of us want to be women.

    More specific answer that applies just to me: yes and no. I would like to be one, but only if someone could just zap me and BAM I'm a girl. :P You know, without pain and without surgery. Or wishing I had been just born that way. Wishing to be female does not equal a desire or intention to transition, and none of this necessitates any homosexual tendencies either. (Despite wishing to be a woman, I'm not gay. On the contrary, I'm strongly attracted to women...to the point that I kinda would rather just BE one.)

    I'm curious: does your boyfriend visit these forums?

    EDIT: The post above me, I agree with 100%!

    Quote Originally Posted by Nikki A. View Post
    I can only answer for myself. Have I played the what if game, yes, but I don't think SRS is something that would be for me. I am attrated to women and women only. But I do enjoy dressing.
    Last edited by Bailey_in_Mansfield; 03-15-2012 at 09:09 AM. Reason: New post

  12. #37
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by paperairplanes View Post
    Sometimes I just get the feeling that a lot of the CDs on here do want to make the full transition .....
    I get what you're saying, and here's how I see it: if they want to make the full transition, then they are not CD's, they are pre-op, no-op, confused, in denial, scared, impoverished, trapped, or otherwise unable to do it transsexuals, not men who like to wear women's clothes. There is a forum for those with those feelings who wish to explore it further and would probably benefit more from those who have been there done that (transsexuals) than from men who like to dress up occasionally (CD's). While lobbying to keep crossdressing issues out of the transsexual forum, they flood this MTF crossdressing forum with transsexual issues.
    It's not surprising that you would get the feeling that a lot of CD's want to transition.

  13. #38
    Member Aylineira's Avatar
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    One of the biggest differences I have notices is this: Crossdressers feel great by simply playing out the role of being female in the clothes that they are in. Transgendered feel that simply putting on female clothing is nothing more than a normal everyday activity.

  14. #39
    Member YorkshireRose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bailey_in_Mansfield View Post
    General answer for most CDers: no, not all of us want to be women.

    More specific answer that applies just to me: yes and no. I would like to be one, but only if someone could just zap me and BAM I'm a girl. :P You know, without pain and without surgery. Or wishing I had been just born that way. Wishing to be female does not equal a desire or intention to transition, and none of this necessitates any homosexual tendencies either. (Despite wishing to be a woman, I'm not gay. On the contrary, I'm strongly attracted to women...to the point that I kinda would rather just BE one.)

    EDIT: The post above me, I agree with 100%!
    This answer sums up my feelings perfectly especially the bit in bold. In every way I am 100% Heterosexual, however I love female clothing and have since my early teens. I was asked the same question by my S/O, did I want to make a transition to being a girl and I could tell her 100% no, I am happy being me. Prior to having children and a loving partner then my answer could very well have been different, but I would have to be a lesbian in that case!

    Good luck in finding answers with your S/O, hope everything works out very positively for you both.

  15. #40
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I would say your partner does not wan to be a woman but is happy as he is.
    The reason for looking at other websites is mostly curiosity and self education.
    I have looked at disgusting, (to me) porn sites and a lot og other intermediate sites as well.
    I have looked at srs sites, breast augmentation, chat rooms, picture galleries, (good bad and downright ugly) and sites that turn me on and off.
    I have a fair understanding of what others think and that is all I need to exist here.
    I have a wife whom I adore and will remain a man that likes wearing feminine clothing.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  16. #41
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    I think some of us must be blonds. Remember when we took tests in junior high? If a question included the words all, always, none, or never then the answer usually was false (or flace). But I would say that some self professing cross-dressers are actually TS in a state of denial. That's right next to Rhode Island. Leanne

  17. #42
    Making a life for Tina! suchacutie's Avatar
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    Because of the way we found "Tina", I have a set of experiences that are often different from those who realized their femininity at an early age and have tried to deal with it for years.

    We have known about Tina for 6 years, and my wife and I discovered her together, literally one morning (and then the subsequent 2 days of conversation!). Since we did this together, I was able to ask my wife anything and everything, and she was able to ask me anything and everything, and we were able to be totally open and honest without hangups. It was an exploration and there were not rules, no holds barred, and no embarassment. Sound ideal? It was (and still is). My wife has asked Tina very personal questions and at times Tina would have to think about the question because it was a new idea, but because we had no transgendered history it was all new and nothing was taboo.

    Your husband has clearly gone through a lifetime of uncertainty, and is probably having real difficulty not giving you "knee-jerk" reactions to your questions. I hope you can be patient enough and supportive enough that he eventually realizes that it is incredibly intimate to discuss all aspects of his transvestism with each other! (I'd be glad to PM with either of you about this if it would help). As far as searching on the web, I have been to every manner of website that even possibly relates to Tina. I bookmarked many (even those that were absurd) and have probably only been back to 5% of them, at most. Yet they've given me a perspective on what is out there, what I find interesting, and what I have completely rejected as useful.

    It is true that there are some genetic men whose brains never received a sufficient hormonal wash to help that brain change in a way that matches their physiological gender. Eventually the brain wins and the drive to live full time as a woman becomes overwhelming. This is no easy path and I am in awe of every one of them! For the rest of us, i.e. the majority of us, we have mentalities that are partially feminine. The extent of that femininity varies widely, as it should. The first goal all of us has is to understand where our own femininity fits and how we are to slice that into our lives. If we are to do that with a partner, there must be honest and open communication. So many of this forum would give their fortunes to be able to have a spouse who is interested in the way you are. He really should be aware how lucky he is to have you....truly.

    Ok, for me, I love both of my gendered selves. I seem to be somewhere in the middle and my two selves are very different and quite compartmentalized. I have the opinion that whole sections of my brain are wired one way or the other, and not a mix, but that's just an opinion. The fact is that when I transition to Tina, I DO leave my male self behind and for all intents and purposes adapt my male body to fit the feminine part of my mind. When my feminine self arrives, my masculine self is shelved. Does that mean that I want to transition...well, for that brief period of time the answer is yes, but I also later want to transition back. The bottom line is that when I transition to Tina, I do it with my heart and soul. I'm serious about her and who she is. I like her! But I like him too, and Tina will want to transition back, being equally dedicate to my male self. This fanaticism about transitions to our feminine selves may be the source of your feeling that most here would be women permanently if they could. We are intense, but that doesn't mean permanent!

    I hope this helps and I'm certainly willing to discuss this in private messages or emails.

    Tina

  18. #43
    Member StacyPump's Avatar
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    Such wonderful thoughtful replies. Personally, I loved AllieSF's response, esp. with regard to the Pink Fog of the newly disclosed Cder longing for the mile when the SO has given them an inch. Thanks, Allie. That describes me and reminds me to take it slowly.

    Anyway, to answer the question from my perspective, I would say that I am a man who loves to dress, and act, and feel, like a woman. I do not have a desire to transition, nor to present 24/7 as a woman. I do, at times, fantasize about being a woman. But for me, I will leave it as a fantasy to enjoy when i feel like enjoying it.

    I hope your husband comes to realize how fortunate he is to have a partner who wants to learn and discuss this, and that he soon feels more comfortable opening up and being honest with you. And I wish you patience until he gets there.
    *StacyP*

  19. #44
    Carla Heracane Missy's Avatar
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    I love being a Man
    I love wearing female clothing
    No I do note want to be a female
    alright I dream 24/7 about having female breast lol
    WHEN IN STRESS WEAR A DRESS
    BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF IT ALL YOU GOT

  20. #45
    The Girl Next Door Sally24's Avatar
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    From my experience the vast majority of CDs only fantasize about being a woman. Most do not want to actually change their sex.

    Now when you talk about the small subset of CDs that go out into public, mainstream venues often, then the answer changes a bit. I find that maybe half the girls I know who go out frequently would consider SRS if it was available to them.
    Sally

  21. #46
    Carole carhill2mn's Avatar
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    This is a very common misconception. Crossdressers do not want to become women. They just want to wear women's colthes, shoes, makeup, jewelry, etc. some of the time. Many will want to look like, act like and be treated as a woman as much as possible. However, they do not wish to become a woman. How person feels about themselves is very important .

    There are many who "crossdress" that do desire to become women but they are usually refered to as "transgendered" or "transexual". Again, there are degrees. Some want a physical sex change (SRS), some just want to live as a woman perhaps using hormones and other methods to make them more feminine appearing.

    It is very tricky to try to apply a "label" to anyone person as a label's purpose is to group like people. However, any one person may not neatly fit into any one label.
    Hugs, Carole

  22. #47
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    It mostly depends on the person and their perceptions on things Hon. Some say yes, some say no, some say maybe. When you get in touch with your feelings, you will know the answer. As far as myself, I'm a man this time around, no question. No matter what I would do, or how good of a day I had dressing or "passing" I can't hold a candle to a genetic woman. Certain inherent qualities cannot be duplicated no matter what we may do. Better to be content with who we are in my opinion but many hold on to that pie in the sky hope regardless.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  23. #48
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    No.

    nope nope nope nope nope. I thought we just covered is absurd blanket statement in a thread that got out of hand and got closed like... yesterday.

  24. #49
    Member Joanne108's Avatar
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    No! Why would I want to get rid of who I am? I am a man who loves to dress as a woman. That is it for me.

  25. #50
    What is normal anyway? Rianna Humble's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleScott View Post
    I get what you're saying, and here's how I see it: if they want to make the full transition, then they are not CD's, they are pre-op, no-op, confused, in denial, scared, impoverished, trapped, or otherwise unable to do it transsexuals, not men who like to wear women's clothes. There is a forum for those with those feelings who wish to explore it further and would probably benefit more from those who have been there done that (transsexuals) than from men who like to dress up occasionally (CD's). While lobbying to keep crossdressing issues out of the transsexual forum, they flood this MTF crossdressing forum with transsexual issues.
    I find it a shame that you prefer to attack other forum members rather than address paperairplanes' concerns directly. Your gross over-exaggeration about the MtF forum being flooded with TS issues is neither accurate nor helpful to the OP, but is extremely offensive.

    I confess that I continue to read and occasionally reply to threads in the MtF cross-dressing section, but that is because I fit (or so I was told by an administrator) into the definition of those people for whom this section was intended.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    To address the original question, it is definitely not the case that all (or even a majority) of cross-dressers want to become women, but (as others have said) a largish number may fantasize about what it would be like without ever having the intention to go down that road.

    I believe that a number of members here have researched what we transsexuals face, not because they wish to experience it first hand but so that they can try to understand us.
    Check out this link if you are wondering about joining Safe Haven.

    This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any

    Galileo said "You cannot teach a man anything" and they accuse ME of being sexist

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