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Thread: Do all MTF crossdressers want to become women?

  1. #51
    Silver Member Inna's Avatar
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    are who have much within. Some will stay and then some will
    I truly believe that the difference in most cases but not all will result from when life throws some
    It's all a sometimes it ends in and then sometimes in
    Last edited by Inna; 03-15-2012 at 01:52 PM.

  2. #52
    Gold Member Kaitlyn Michele's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleScott View Post
    I get what you're saying, and here's how I see it: if they want to make the full transition, then they are not CD's, they are pre-op, no-op, confused, in denial, scared, impoverished, trapped, or otherwise unable to do it transsexuals, not men who like to wear women's clothes. There is a forum for those with those feelings who wish to explore it further and would probably benefit more from those who have been there done that (transsexuals) than from men who like to dress up occasionally (CD's). While lobbying to keep crossdressing issues out of the transsexual forum, they flood this MTF crossdressing forum with transsexual issues.
    It's not surprising that you would get the feeling that a lot of CD's want to transition.
    flood?? heh...whatever you say...

    Your quote is a true but also a mean spirited comment...kind of like, waaaaaayyy too much make up dear...

    the transsexuals that feel all those terrible things are not crossdressers... but because its such an existential problem, they land in the crossdresser zone and struggle because they don't feel "right" about it.. and so its very common for alot of people to go back and forth and think about the "what am I?" question... and those are the threads that hopefully well meaning people from the ts forum "flood"...

    ....just because you've got it sorted doesn't mean others have it figured out too..

  3. #53
    Senior Member Janet Bern's Avatar
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    i too can only answer for myself. I like being a man. only a woman part time and not for a very long period of time
    It is very uncomfortable being Janet

  4. #54
    In transmission whowhatwhen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaitlyn Michele View Post
    flood?? heh...whatever you say...

    Your quote is a true but also a mean spirited comment...kind of like, waaaaaayyy too much make up dear...

    the transsexuals that feel all those terrible things are not crossdressers... but because its such an existential problem, they land in the crossdresser zone and struggle because they don't feel "right" about it.. and so its very common for alot of people to go back and forth and think about the "what am I?" question... and those are the threads that hopefully well meaning people from the ts forum "flood"...

    ....just because you've got it sorted doesn't mean others have it figured out too..
    This x1000.
    Some of us still need to find our place and honestly posts from our TS members are very valuable and offer perspectives that might have been passed over.

    End all forum wars!

  5. #55
    Silver Member BRANDYJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whowhatwhen View Post
    This x1000.
    Some of us still need to find our place and honestly posts from our TS members are very valuable and offer perspectives that might have been passed over.

    End all forum wars!
    I agree. And if you consider the question the OP is asking, then the input of our TS members is important. Most will tell you that you don't progress from being a CD to TS. Many, if not most will tell you that they have felt they were born in the wrong body at a very early age before they even knew about gender or sexual issues. Most will tell you they were born that way. So yes, I agree, their input is important to this thread and many others. I value them as members and of course as people.

  6. #56
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    Knock it off

    [SIZE="5"]ALL[/SIZE] members are entitled to post in any OPEN forum, it does not matter where you are on the TG spectrum. If you want to have a go at any section of our community, take it away from this forum, it is not welcome here in any shape or form. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, IF YOU CAN'T KEEP IT CIVIL KEEP OUT!

    Nigella
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  7. #57
    BEING YOUnique is AWESOME Princess Chantal's Avatar
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    I'm one of the many crossdressers that don't want to be a woman. Actually I can't stand friends and other close associates referring to the crossdressed me as a woman, lady or girl

  8. #58
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    A lot of crossdressers "want to be women" in the same way that a lot of people with sports cars want to be NASCAR drivers. You can think about it, read about it, go to a fantasy driving school even. What betrays the fantasy is the line "IF I [weren't married, this old, so settled, have to risk, etc.]. It's also betrayed by the notion of want itself. People who transition are women, not men who wish to be. In saying "I would like to be", a man is stating right up front that's it's an idea only - a fantasy.

    Let's make it even starker. A full-on transition will involve social transition, documentation changes, name changes, sex reassignment surgery, hormones, plastic surgery (FFS) and more. Not all are required, but most are wanted. Since want is the theme, a man would have to want to be castrated, have their brain figuratively rewired by hormones, become different emotionally, risk becoming a social pariah, and potentially lose everything and everyone they have. Since they are men, they have to want a life of gender dysphoria where their identity is in screaming conflict with their feminized body. They want this enough to risk permanently losing sexual function and, of course, they have to want to lose male sexual function.

    So what do you think? Does this "want" contain any risk of becoming reality? Or is it a fantasy?

    Lea

    ps - someone is no doubt going to take me to task on spectrum, repression, or other grounds. I acknowledge those. The FACT is that there are a LOT of crossdressers and a small number of people who transition. Those that do don't use phrases like "I would like to become a woman".

  9. #59
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    Well stated Lea. I agree. And sometimes saying "want" instead of "would like" actually means the same thing. I like the idea that once a person realizes that they are TS, then they "are" a woman". How they then proceed is up to them.

  10. #60
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    I enjoy 'playing' the female role when my male side needs a break. Its seems the Steve needs a vacation once in a while, so Stephanie comes and takes over. Usually Steve is very content being himself.

  11. #61
    Member YorkshireRose's Avatar
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    A quiet brilliant post Lea. Yes you're right in my view, part of my previous post is wrong it is most definitely a fantasy for me and has never been more than that, when you put it so starkly.

    This forum trully is an education.

    Charlotte

  12. #62
    New Member from Scotland paulinescotlandcd's Avatar
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    Ok since I can't send you a message I think this is a first class article that you should read.

    http://www.vernoncoleman.com/andwhydosome.htm

  13. #63
    Just A Simple Girl Michelle.M's Avatar
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    Didn't we just have this thread? This is deja vu all over again.
    I've gone to find myself. If I should return before I get back keep me here to wait for me so I don't go back out and miss myself when I return.

  14. #64
    Senior Member Jacqueline Winona's Avatar
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    Lea bringing down the hammer! Well stated. Much better htan the "no" that I thought of in response to the first post.

  15. #65
    Silver Member STACY B's Avatar
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    Just long enough to go out shopping . Or long enough to get threw an evening out and about , Hell we gotta work ya know .
    Yull Find Out !!! lol,,,,

  16. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by paperairplanes View Post
    It may seem like a silly question... But I have asked my partner time and time again if he ever wants to become a women physically/surgically.
    He tells me no again and again, but it still sits in the back of my mind.
    In the past I have seen websites he has searched in the internet history saying "MTF surgery" etc and he plays it off as curiosity and nothing more but knows "he is a man and I am his girl and that's the way he wants to keep it".
    When I look on here, it seems a lot of MTF crossdressers want to eventually become women... Or think about it frequently.
    Am I being paranoid???
    Do all MTF crossdressers want to become women? No, really NO. But he has already told you that numerous times and you don't believe him. Why would you believe us; you don't even know us. Crossdressing can be tough. He is uncomfortable with it and clearly you are not feeling good about it - but it is not going away. You are asking that he open up to you but when he gives you an answer, you don't believe him. You also check his computer history (checking computer history is not a good thing to do - even men who are not crossdressers still look at some 'interesting' sites. I think in general that if women routinely checked men's computer history they would be disturbed - guys are weird). Before you ask him to open up make sure you are really ready to listen and respond with honesty but without judging him. It is likely what he says may not be exactly what you want to hear (and I do not mean he wants to become a woman - it does not sound at all like that is a serious issue). If you can find a way to talk to him where he feels like it is really an open conversation, rather than a talk about "his problem" then I think you may make some progress; otherwise he has no reason to talk

  17. #67
    Senior Member KellyJameson's Avatar
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    There is a different mind set between " I am a woman psychologically/emotionally/mentally in a male body" and "I want to be a woman" to experience how the other half lives and as a temporary escape from the rigors of manhood, I'm really amazed that so many men actually like being men.

    The first is not a choice and the second is except that it is not.

    Both seek escape but for entirely different reasons.
    Both feel exhausted but for entirely different reasons.
    Both have experienced emotional/mental abuse but for entirely different reasons.
    Both have rejected the strict dehumanizing role of being a "man" but for entirely different reasons.

    For me the greatest problem was trying to untangle the effects of abuse (past tense) with the affects (always, past,present and future) of gender dysporia. Once I did this it became very clear something else was at work.

    Only someone who is in incredible pain would take the risks necessary to offer the hope of escape otherwise you must escape into addiction and or violence, the pain is to great to ignore forever, eventually it breaks you.

    Think of the penis and the vagina as symbols of two opposite forms of energy.
    The penis when erect is a sword that penetrates, on some level it is an act of aggression but this aggression is not automatically immoral, it depends on how you use it's psychological power but the power is born in the mind and flows through the body.It is a symbol for a form of psychological power.

    The vagina is it's opposite, it receives this aggression and absorbs and transforms it, and it is also a symbol and form of psychological power.

    These two energies are perfectly matched, the strength of each is also it's weakness and there strengths and weaknesses are opposite. This energy is innate and we are born with it but it's power is different in each person and also over the course of their life. Imagine a man whose mind holds the power of the vagina but has a penis between his legs, this is gender dysporia for me. My energy is opposite the vast majority of men. I relate very well with women but prefer men in what I call my inner circle because I complement their energy and they mine, for close relationships with women I do not give them what they need psychologically. I cannot be their other psychological half.

    Hope my words help. I personally think those in my circumstances make up a small percentage of those that crossdress. Thank God because I would not wish the experience on my worst enemy. Anyone who survives and thrives can consider themselves very fortunate.

  18. #68
    Junior Member Lisa-N's Avatar
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    Wink I am two in one

    I know I can only speak for myself but I believe that at some point along the journey almost all cds have fantasized and perhaps even wish they were a woman or female. When I was new to crossdressing in my early teens and experimenting with my mom`s clothes and makeup and when I had other opportunities to experiment I would fatasize that I was a girl. Of course I didnt understand any of it and there was no internet and didnt know there were others like me.

    I left cding behind during college and after till my mid 20s till I met my future wife.Just seeing all her beuatiful clothes drew me back in and the desire returned. It wasnt until my early 30s that I fully dressed with wig, dress nylons and heels. I loved it and how I lokked and how it made me feel. But I realized then that something was different, although loved getting all dolled up and strutting around that it wasnt all of me but instead just a part of me. That I liked being Tangi some of the time but I also liked being my male half too.

    I still wish when I dress that I could have natural breasts and fill that bra. (what girl doesnt ) and I wish I had those natural curves. And I wish I was a size 6 instead of a 16 dress lol. Tangi is part of what makes me whole. I like both sides of me and would never give up one for the other. So do I want to be a woman? A part of me already is and that acceptance makes me happy.

  19. #69
    Member Phylis Nicole Schuyler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Inna View Post
    are who have much within. Some will stay and then some will
    I truly believe that the difference in most cases but not all will result from when life throws some
    It's all a sometimes it ends in and then sometimes in
    Well said Inna. You can definately bring a smile to my face and soul.
    If you wake up in the morning; See a sunrise; You name is not in the obituaries (long story); You see a sunset; Then its a good day. All the rest is superfluous B.S. (Bad Science).

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  20. #70
    Psyco Roller Derby Doll. Katesback's Avatar
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    More CDs out there are really TS than you would want to believe. Just many of them are MARRIED and so they deny it and carry on with their CD activities till the divorce and then they transition. Thats why so many TS girls transition later in life. They got divorced and then all of a sudden the CD became the TS.

  21. #71
    Junior Member Chrissy.Sexton's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=BRANDYJ;2783510]I hope you are speaking for yourself or are just joking. Either you are joking or you need to educate yourself to see how very wrong you are.

    Of course I'm speaking for myself - who else could I possibly speak for? You don't know me and cannot have an opinion as to whether I'm joking or not. I am educated and know what I want - its unfortunate that it troubles you.

    Shaking my head . . .

  22. #72
    The Art of Heels Kristyn Hill's Avatar
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    No, I do not but have fun while wearing heels at times along with looking forward to fully dressing.
    I am an Artist working in all Mediums including Sexy

  23. #73
    Crossdresser Taylor186's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Katesback View Post
    More CDs out there are really TS than you would want to believe. Just many of them are MARRIED and so they deny it and carry on with their CD activities till the divorce and then they transition. Thats why so many TS girls transition later in life. They got divorced and then all of a sudden the CD became the TS.
    Cannot agree with this. Most of the married late transitioners I have read about or know personally started transition while married and most hoped their wife was up for the journey. The divorce, if it happened, was only because the wife couldn't accept this kind of drastic change in the relationship. And, I fully understand a woman's decision not to go along with this.
    Last edited by Taylor186; 03-16-2012 at 07:28 PM.

  24. #74
    Senior Age Member sissystephanie's Avatar
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    I have said this on this forum before, but I will say it again. I have been a crossdresser longer than many of the CD's on this forum have been alive! I started CD'ing at age 6 and am now 79! During those years, I was married for almost 50 of them to a lady who totally supported my CD'ing. But never once did I want to become a woman! Nor do I now!! The Good Lord intended me to be a man, and that is what I am no matter what I have on!! Clothes may make a man look like a woman, but they certainly don't make him BECOME a woman. Only surgery and medication can do that!!

    I still believe that the majority of CD's on this forum do not want to ever become women!! I have never seen proof of things being otherwise!! And as I said, I have been doing this a long time!!
    Last edited by sissystephanie; 03-16-2012 at 10:54 AM.
    Stephanie

    Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

  25. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by sissystephanie View Post
    I
    I still believe that the majority of CD's on this forum do not want to ever become women!! I have never seen proof of things being otherwise!! And as I said, I have been doing this a long time!!
    I'm with you Steph.

    I grow so tired of the "sky is falling" approach about CD's becoming TS. If that was true we wouldn't have any CDers on this board, they would all be TS instead.

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