After years of therapy and being diagnosed transgender a letter was sent to my GP for me to go ahead and finally start the journey of transition to become the person I was meant to be. I was frightened as I am married with kids and havent told my family anything but was pushing on as I know I am female and my male body is a mistake. I was removing my leg and body hair and hidng my body from my wife, not having sex as I wanted to avoid questions about my body.
This was last August. I set a date to see my GP and I was set to do it and then Bam! It stopped. Over night I felt differently. For months It went away. I didnt dress, shave or do anything remotely femiine. My sex drive went up. I wanted to have sex and felt attraction to women like never before.
Then last week I dressed in my favourite clothes and it all came rushing back. The need to be female returned as quickly as it went away. I am back where I was before but I am confused. What happened?
Im not proud of this next part but I have started to take female birth control pillsin the hope they start to make me for feminine. I know I must be mad but will they? I need to see my GP and will but I am so unhappy that I will try anything.
Im in tears writing this but I wanted to share this with you
Nicola xx