New appartment. How to deal with those living in the building?

[Byanca]

I got a good discount on an apartment. So I impulse bought it. But I also needed it. So that's fine.

I'm moving in in a week, and could really use some advice.

It's just 80m from where I have lived for 13 years. Most likely they will recognize it's the next door tranny that is moving in. But they don't know this at this moment.

I'm very worried this will become an issue. Or how I should do this? I will probably just go normal. And one by one they will meet me on chance while I go out or in?

This is a house with 8 apartments. So a good atmosphere will be important. I don't want to make those who live there uncomfortable.

I'm considering to not move in, and rent it out instead. As I don't know how to approach this.



Byanca

[AmberDay]

Tough one. It depends on how open you want to be with them vs. your own happiness. If you going out in public dressed is more important that what your neighbors think, then do it. If you think going out will cause more problems than it is worth than don't do it.

My only 'advice' I can give you though is would you expect them to change their behavior, or jobs, or presentation, etc to make you you more comfortable? Would you be uncomfortable if they worked menial jobs or dressed like farmers? Or would you accept who they are? Try not to live your life to make strangers happy or more comfortable. Why should you give up your freedom while others can enjoy theirs? Hope this helps.

Amber

[Jessica86]

Speaking from someone who hasn't gone out yet, I can't say. I live in a complex where there are people all around. Lots of coworkers live here due to the proximity to work. I don't think it's an issue because I work night shift. When I do go out, it will be around this time.....2AM.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Not knowing the people around you is harder for myself to answer, you know them & talk with them no dought.

How well do they know you, its not what you wear its you as a person. do you get on well with them.

i meet many 100's of people many i have known here for 16 years, iv allso worked for some .

im very much a Public relastions person. out going so you get the idear. around here i know pretty much every one, & they see me dressed in allsorts of clothes, from overalls to period wear garb & what ever, we talk, say hi all the time thats what its about. & they know about me & my background. no big deal & no hassles,

Some times you just have to go with it do it & trust you can be friends with others, this is what i did,

just be who you are, yes i know some cant tell others,,,, oh dear i dress in ........

Im not really a show off yet .....i do it its fun & no one is bothered fact is i get lovely comments most are from women of cause, & more so when i tell them i make all my dress clothes & garb.

these are the people who live here many i have known & even some come from other places,

How do you dress , would that put people off being around you, are you lacking confidence in your self as a person . im trying to figger out what the main problem is do you think you wont be accepted .or does it come down to people wont accept you because your different,

Iv had 5 people who would not accept im different in over 7 years. may be iv put my self on the mat because im different & i get people on my side, i make them comfortable being close to me & around me .
Give me some more idear of why you dont think youll fit in or what ever it may be .

...noeleena...

[Claire Cook]

I faced this situation several years ago when I had a job in the DC area. We'd bought a condo -- on the 25th floor -- so the issue came up: what do I do when I want to be out and about? I finally decided that sooner or later folks would see and maybe meet Claire, so I started by telling Mimi, our receptionist, that I was a CD and she would probably see this “handsome woman” coming and going. She was very cool with this, and the first time she saw me she said something about how pretty I looked. Then I gradually started telling my neighbors – again, they were all so nice about it. David told me that he’d seen me one morning getting the paper in my pink nightgown and wig … and thought it was my sister! All of the staff now have seen me dressed, and they invariably greet me with smiles. Before we rented it, I was pretty much coming and going as I pleased, with nary a problem.

I don’t know how many others have had similar experiences, but I hope mine helps.

[Kirsty_D]

I've been in Norway many times (Stavanger) and from also working with Noggies for over 20 years I've found Norweian's to be extremely liberal and understanding.

I say just go with the flow, present yourself as you feel comfortable, whether it be female or male.

[lingerieLiz]

I don't know about Norway's laws, but did some work for a Norwegian firm and they seemed friendly and fun loving.

I've moved around and traveled over the years and found most people are pretty tolerant. Once when I was moving into a home without close neighbors I was fully dressed (in a dress) without makeup or wig. A neighbor out for a walk came by and since all the doors were open he walked in saying, Hi anyone home as I'm sitting there drinking a beer. He never said a word about what I had on and was a good neighbor to my wife and I.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Just be yourself and don't push it on anyone .

[Karren H]

The obvious solution..... move in as a female.... Then when they see you in male mode no one will care!

[Stephanie47]

What was your experience as a 'tranny' when you lived down the block? Surely, people saw you and you may have been able to gauge the reaction of the neighborhood.

[kimdl93]

Why jump to the conclusion that your presense will pos a problem? You lived 8o m (meters?) from your old place? In that case, the neighbors, if they cared, would have been at your door with pitchforks and torches long ago.

The best thing you can do is move in, be a quiet and respectful neighbor, and get to know the people in the building. And go on living as you did in the past...unless you didn't live as a woman before. In that case, take Karren's advice and move in as a woman.

[Beth Mays]

When we bought this place 9 years ago the neighbors had never seen anyone mow in Speedos... now nothing shocks them.

[Byanca]

Thanks, I'll try to answer the questions.

Tough one. It depends on how open you want to be with them vs. your own happiness. If you going out in public dressed is more important that what your neighbors think, then do it. If you think going out will cause more problems than it is worth than don't do it.

My only 'advice' I can give you though is would you expect them to change their behavior, or jobs, or presentation, etc to make you you more comfortable? Would you be uncomfortable if they worked menial jobs or dressed like farmers? Or would you accept who they are? Try not to live your life to make strangers happy or more comfortable. Why should you give up your freedom while others can enjoy theirs? Hope this helps.

Amber

Thanks, that helps. I dress what I call nicely all the time. It's just if I need to do something that requires sturdier clothes, I will go more neutral(that's basically pants, or I even call tights with tunica neutral, like my everyday outfit). Still pretty feminine though. I'm ok with them, how they present. I consider this to be up to them. I like it though if someone have similar interests.

Hi,

Not knowing the people around you is harder for myself to answer, you know them & talk with them no dought.

How well do they know you, its not what you wear its you as a person. do you get on well with them.

i meet many 100's of people many i have known here for 16 years, iv allso worked for some .

im very much a Public relastions person. out going so you get the idear. around here i know pretty much every one, & they see me dressed in allsorts of clothes, from overalls to period wear garb & what ever, we talk, say hi all the time thats what its about. & they know about me & my background. no big deal & no hassles,

Some times you just have to go with it do it & trust you can be friends with others, this is what i did,

just be who you are, yes i know some cant tell others,,,, oh dear i dress in ........

Im not really a show off yet .....i do it its fun & no one is bothered fact is i get lovely comments most are from women of cause, & more so when i tell them i make all my dress clothes & garb.

these are the people who live here many i have known & even some come from other places,

How do you dress , would that put people off being around you, are you lacking confidence in your self as a person . im trying to figger out what the main problem is do you think you wont be accepted .or does it come down to people wont accept you because your different,

Iv had 5 people who would not accept im different in over 7 years. may be iv put my self on the mat because im different & i get people on my side, i make them comfortable being close to me & around me .
Give me some more idear of why you dont think youll fit in or what ever it may be .

...noeleena...

Hi. I don't know these people. They may have seen me in the shop. Most likely some will have. I identify a bit with Zooey Deschanel, both in style and behavior. Bit of a weirdo with other words.

The main problem is I think is that I am shy. So I will just quietly go in and out of the apartment. Maybe stand outside in the street and smoke now and then, watching the people go by. I often do that. Sometimes random strangers stop to talk with me. But the last years people don't tend to notice.

Speaking from someone who hasn't gone out yet, I can't say. I live in a complex where there are people all around. Lots of coworkers live here due to the proximity to work. I don't think it's an issue because I work night shift. When I do go out, it will be around this time.....2AM.

Yeah. That would work, if you are comfortable changing expression. I feel uncomfortable if people think I'm a guy. I don't deal well with that at all. But that is of course the easy way. It's just that it doesn't work with me, not ever. My behavior I think is pretty neutral, non gendered. So the clothing and stuff will often be the tipping point in how they experience me. That's why the clothing gets to be important. When I am by myself, I use old man clothes with no second thought, I even think it's kinda cool.

I faced this situation several years ago when I had a job in the DC area. We'd bought a condo -- on the 25th floor -- so the issue came up: what do I do when I want to be out and about? I finally decided that sooner or later folks would see and maybe meet Claire, so I started by telling Mimi, our receptionist, that I was a CD and she would probably see this “handsome woman” coming and going. She was very cool with this, and the first time she saw me she said something about how pretty I looked. Then I gradually started telling my neighbors – again, they were all so nice about it. David told me that he’d seen me one morning getting the paper in my pink nightgown and wig … and thought it was my sister! All of the staff now have seen me dressed, and they invariably greet me with smiles. Before we rented it, I was pretty much coming and going as I pleased, with nary a problem.

I don’t know how many others have had similar experiences, but I hope mine helps.

Very nice. As you are two, that will make them more comfortable. I am shy. And I don't like to talk about it in a living situation. So there is little chance I will explain to them what and why I do what I do. It's just very exhausting, and I prefer not to think about it. And just be.

I've been in Norway many times (Stavanger) and from also working with Noggies for over 20 years I've found Norweian's to be extremely liberal and understanding.

I say just go with the flow, present yourself as you feel comfortable, whether it be female or male.

Norway is very diverse. Things will change a lot as you move around the country. This is also by the sea, but more north, Trondheim. It's very urban, the apartment is in the middle of the city. So that helps.

And thanks. Very good point. Because I consider to present as what I am not comfortable with, sort of like a middle thing, more guy like. Just on the first day. You should keep in mind that I have not done any physical changes yet. So what I present as is either a kinda cute girl. Or if it's in between shaving days(very sensitive skin, and I stay inside those days, as I am depressed, if not emergency)not a cute girl....those are the problem days...

I don't know about Norway's laws, but did some work for a Norwegian firm and they seemed friendly and fun loving.

I've moved around and traveled over the years and found most people are pretty tolerant. Once when I was moving into a home without close neighbors I was fully dressed (in a dress) without makeup or wig. A neighbor out for a walk came by and since all the doors were open he walked in saying, Hi anyone home as I'm sitting there drinking a beer. He never said a word about what I had on and was a good neighbor to my wife and I.

That is very nice. And few react just the first time. It's after longer time, I notice the reactions. Where I like now, they are very comfortable with me, they have become comfortable, don't think they where at first, took about 5 years before we actually strated talking about things... And will usually talk with me every time they see me now, asks me for help on things and so on. Giving me presents, and asked how it will be to move out. I think they are a bit worried, because they know they have given me a secure comfort zone that I need. I think there has been years since they have seen me in anything but a skirt or dress or similar. Just last week the older woman knocked on the window from inside, and pointed repeatedly towards my skirt. At one side one edge was not straight. So I adjusted it, and then she nodded. But I knew. I did it on purpose, as I think it looked kewl. But no, wasn't approved.

Just be yourself and don't push it on anyone .

Yes. It's everyone's responsibility to push and accept within reason, and fairly? Give the same opportunities to everyone?

The obvious solution..... move in as a female.... Then when they see you in male mode no one will care!

YES. Thank you. I think that is really what I should do. Every situation that becomes difficult for me, is if they have had a male mental picture first.

But it's already problematic, since they have the legal name, so they already expect a man. So the damage is sort of already done. And there are male hormone dosages in my body and other unpleasantness, so things will unavoidable fluctuate between this and that, depending on how much energy I have available to deal with it.

What was your experience as a 'tranny' when you lived down the block? Surely, people saw you and you may have been able to gauge the reaction of the neighborhood.

I tend to stand out in the street and smoke and practice on the posture. Most people just go buy, 5m from the gate. 1 out of 10 looks twice, then usually 4-5 times more until they have gone past. The nest time, they will only look twice. The next time not notice me. People I talk to are always nice, or don't care, a few are uncomfortable. The Chinese family in the shop always smile widely every time I come. The women, not the male owner, sour and looks weird at me I don't have much bad experiences. Only if hair growth becomes visible, and not fixed my hair. But I do not tend to change expression. So those days aren't all that good. But I don't blame them, I must look like a total schizophrenic.

Why jump to the conclusion that your presense will pos a problem? You lived 8o m (meters?) from your old place? In that case, the neighbors, if they cared, would have been at your door with pitchforks and torches long ago.

The best thing you can do is move in, be a quiet and respectful neighbor, and get to know the people in the building. And go on living as you did in the past...unless you didn't live as a woman before. In that case, take Karren's advice and move in as a woman.

It's just that I am sensitive. And if I don't feel good, the other people are happy to see me and so on. I will be depressed. It's not really a problem other then that. I wish this to be nice. I would like to try to be less depressed.

When we bought this place 9 years ago the neighbors had never seen anyone mow in Speedos... now nothing shocks them.

strange that. It's all just fashion. Or memories. Make enough new memories in a person, at lest when the old ones fade away. Those new will be the updated reality. So with that in mind, I should take tare what memories I create at this first day, as those will probably stick a long time.

[Glenda]

I think you answered your own question. If you're thinking of just renting it out instead of moving in.........then just move in and be normal. If it doesn't work for you, then rent it out.

[Phoebe]

I got a good discount on an apartment. So I impulse bought it. But I also needed it. So that's fine.

I'm moving in in a week, and could really use some advice.

It's just 80m from where I have lived for 13 years. Most likely they will recognize it's the next door tranny that is moving in. But they don't know this at this moment.

I'm very worried this will become an issue. Or how I should do this? I will probably just go normal. And one by one they will meet me on chance while I go out or in?

This is a house with 8 apartments. So a good atmosphere will be important. I don't want to make those who live there uncomfortable.

I'm considering to not move in, and rent it out instead. As I don't know how to approach this.



Byanca

Make a poster from this image and maybe wear it? I made a poster and placed the Iggy Pop image on the outside of my apartment door. No negative comments made. I live in a building with about 200 residents. It is a non-discriminatory building. Also there is a state statue where discrimination for renting is unlawful.

[Byanca]

OMG!

He looks good for his age!

I don't think any signs are necessary. I'd just like to not be the topic of conversations. Unless they make plans how to get me to go out with them . So I hope and expect a lot. That is why I will be both depressed and disappointed if I end up as the strange girl on top that it's best to avoid.

There is also the bit of paranoia where I think everyone hates me, at times, and I close up for a while. And it's just my imagination, or not. Don't know. But the feelings are very strong.

It will be a challenge. I just need to get started the right way!

No pictures, statements or the like. There will be enough visuals. I could bake them a violet cake though.

Here is typical style me last summer, that is what they will have to get used to!. Quite feminine as you see. But it's what I grown accustomed too, and is comfortable with!
http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6031/6...62a68b30a4.jpg