Have any of you confirmed CD out there felt judged for not going full SRS?

[Lillith]

Yes, I'm pretty new, been on looking for good while, but this burning inquiry led me to make a profile. Seriously, I am really coming out of an odd place where I am just realizing how pressured I was making myself feel to give a much harder look at "going all the way" than I think I would haver without feeling like I wouldn't be taken seriously or even judged in some way I have a difficult time putting into words by those that are. I understand that to commit in that way may even take building a strong personality. But, this had gotten the point I felt guilty about the male side & parts I really do like of "him" as well. In truth, my REAL hearts desire was to be able to switch at will. All the sudden, it dawned on me, I ALREADY HAVE THAT, as close as realistically possible anyway. But, the vibe I got (and admittedly this could all be in my head too!) made me feel less of a girl, when I'm a girl, if I didn't WANT to lose the penis for good! As mySO says, and I agree, it's too pretty a thing to get sliced up. Besides, in femme, I like to admire it AS a femme would....I'd miss that too!

Lillith

[NicoleScott]

Judged by who? Maybe it's just that I'm not reading (understanding) your post as you meant, but for me there's a disconnect between the post title and the post body. It sounds like you are a CD, not a TS, and not a likely candidate for SRS. I'm a CD - maybe a TS should weigh in on this.
Many CD's fantasize about being a woman, but fantasy is a long ways from reality. Many CD's get very girly-girly when en femme.

[Marleena]

I'm a bit confused here too.

Are you saying you think you are TS but people tell you you need to transition or you're not TS?

[suchacutie]

Hi Lillith, and welcome!

Tina has been with us for six years, admittedly much less of a time than many. In that time I have felt nothing but reassurance and encouragement. Like your SO, mine "wants her man" at times and that's her right as far as I'm concerned. So, that's that way it will be and it gives me a very satisfied life to have a loving wife who enjoys Tina as well as "her man". My wife's opinion is the most important in my life

You are who you are, and no one has the right to judge you. Be true to thine self

Tina

[Jenniferathome]

I don't understand the premise. Cross dressing is not related to transition. It is coincident at best. And who is judgng whom? I am a cross dresser. I'm married. I love my wife and have never thought of transition as an option nor felt any such desire and will never transition. You seem to be asserting that cross dressers are headed for transition in general and that simply is not the case for 99.9% of us.

[NathalieX66]

I think I read somehwere than only 2% of transgender people undergo SRS. You have to be trannsexual first (....is clinically transsexual a valid term?). There are plenty of TS' that don't go all the way.
I also read something where 40% of TS's de-transition later on ...don't hold me to it, I don't even know the credibility of this information.

[Kristy_K]

CD's can not get a SRS.

Kristy .

[NathalieX66]

CD's can not get a SRS.

Kristy .

I think this is something set up by WPATH Standards of Care. .....one needs to live 2 years full time.

[JohnH]

Lillith,

I am on M2F HRT, and I not only say no to SRS, but HELL NO!. So don't feel guilty of not wanting to go all the way with SRS. The farthest I might go is an orchiectomy but that is the extent I would do it.

I have never been pressured to go through with SRS.

Johanna

[Kate Simmons]

Not at all Hon. There's really no one out there adequately qualified to do that, myself included.

[NathalieX66]

Not at all Hon. There's really no one out there adequately qualified to do that, myself included.

you should check out Philadelphia center for Transgender Surgery:
http://thetransgendercenter.com/
Dr. Sherman Leis

[Sara Jessica]

I think a confirmed TS is more likely to be "judged" for not submitting to full-on transition and SRS.

[Aprilrain]

I'm curious who it is you feel is judging you Or are you judging yourself?

Like someone else said, CDs do not have SRS.

[Stephenie S]

Yeah. What she said.

S

[Eryn]

Well, there are one or two people out there on the forum who believe that all CDers are TS in denial, but other than that I've not felt judged at all. We're not in a competition, and SRS isn't the grand prize.

[Sophie_C]

You seem a bit new to this. I say to sit back, relax, stop judging yourself, and it will all become clear and easy. And, yes, being transgender has little to do with crossdressing. See crossdressing like a fetish, say, like people are into leather/pvc, maybe feet, etc. Is that a little bit easier to get?

[docrobbysherry]

Like Marleena, I'm confused too, Lillith! Unless u walk around with your dress over your head and no panties on, how would anyone KNOW whether you're a CD, TS or a Trans-female?
Or, did u just mean on THIS SITE?

Personally, I've met A LOT of CD/TG/TS girls at 3 SCCs. Some of the TSs r now trans-women. I can't recall a judgmental soul in the whole lot of them!

[Contessa]

Lillith

I just love the name lillith and the person who played her on Frazier. Anyway Lillith you're not being judged. No one is keeping a tally of CDers that don't transition. In the book, pg 37 it states if you are a Cd you cannot transition. If you go ahead your name is removed from the register. Just remember the page number and good luck.

Tess

[Pythos]

Actually it is VERY common for people outside the community to think that a guy that crossdresses is actually going to have his penis removed, and become a woman. Just your average person on the street in the middle to the United States. (Well other things would be said to, but let's not get into the non-sense) I have been asked if I was going to go through SRS by my friends when I started wearing skirts, even in male mode. I got asked "so when is the operation?" by someone up until that time I thought was a rather wise and intelligent person.

It is assumed by many that a guy that puts on women's clothing, thinks he is a woman, and therefor must be going through transition later in time.

I have read several posts here that say CDers are just TSs in denial. I have seen that joke that askes "What's the difference between a CDer and a TS? Answer , about 4 years. I of course thinks that is boulderdash, but some here seem to think along those lines.

[Vickie_CDTV]

There have been some TS (not all or most of course but a few) who have looked down on TVs ever since there has been a trans community. It is usually along the lines of they are "not serious" or "they just do it for fun and I do it because I have to" or "they are just too scared to commit to being women". Try not to let it bother you, it is not a new phenomenon, and just be yourself and do what you want to do. If someone looks down on you for doing what you want to do (and not doing what they want to do), the heck with them, you don't need to justify what you do to anyone, just ignore them.

[noeleena]

Hi,

This is about being accepted , for who you are. not what you wear, i have proved this time & time again,

Im accepted first as a person not wether i wear male or female clothes .or a sack over my head.

i move in a big circle of people this is not just with in the trans community & many groups ,

& over 14 years for trans people & iv seen quite a lot ,

.....Some.... trans think they are above others because they have had hormones & surgerys, in other words they deem them selfs as women. & yes do look down on some who are male & love or like to dress & no more than that,

So yes for quite a few people they have set up a pressure to conform to what they have done & are eltist in how they think .

my point will be dont ever think less of your self just because you dress ....only.... dont think because you are ...not ... one of them you have to go thier way.

I have had a few surgerys over the years plus im on hormones because i ...need ... them for my well being . to explain , im not a dresser or trans . so i can look at what your saying from another view point.

I have allso seen jelousy because im different , does it matter . no of cause not .

As iv said many times i dont have to prove who i am or what i am , it comes down to what you see is what you get when you spend time getting to know who i am. its the same for you .

If people cant accept you the way you are then move . as we'd say ship out move camp. you dont belong there,
Real friends accept you the way you are , so my advise is just be comforable in your self be happy being you, & dont let.... any.... one .....dictate .....to you what you should do or pressure you in to being or doing is not for you,

...noeleena...

[kimdl93]

No, I haen't felt "judged". Every person has a different need and a different reality. Don't make the presumption that CDs are the same as TS. Check out the transgender definitions at the beginning of the MtF forum for more information.

[STACY B]

CRAZY talk ,,, Just kick an take the ride .

[Lillith]

No, and "judgedl probably is a hard word to fit the feeling I'm going for. I think my concern is based in part on things I've read such as , " crossdressers have a condition where they value clothes more than people, but true transexuals have a REAL condition of dysphoria...bla bla" and go on to give loads of advice for the latter group. I think I felt that the only way I could ever be known as I truely am would be to pronounce my condition as something I couldn't help, a "birth defect" as some have called it, otherwise I'm just a "sexual deviant". Don't get met wrong, I only am quoting these labels and don't subscribe to them. But, when our thoughts are framed by words and the effort to know ones self is also a journey of shaping definition to try and bring a "oneness" to the collective mass of all we are. How can we avoid but to examine such definition. I think the heart of what bothers me is this idea that to be CD is a "choice" and to be "TS" is not, so acceptance and tolerance is only deserved by those with no choice. I know I probably have a lot on my mind, so hopefully I can make SOME sense

[Marleena]

Lillith neither are a personal choice "it" choses you. The big difference is the TS person needs to change their sex in order to feel right in most cases. Some can get by with just hormone therapy. Don't buy into the all cd's are transsexuals in denial that is brought up here. Also ignore Cd's are inferior rhetoric. We are all just people trying to come to terms with who we are.