Something to think about

[AKAMichelle]

This week a friend of mine passed away. The friend suffered a stroke and never recovered. The family pulled the plug after the friend was declared brain dead.

The friend never took the time nor had the time at the end to prepare the family for what they would find. See the friend was Mardi. She ran a support group here in Denver but the family never knew about it. When they walked into the house they found wigs, clothing and lots of material but no letter explaining anything.

I guess Mardi thought she had time to tell the family or at least time to write that letter, but she ran out of time. Thursday she was buried without that explanation. Now the family will have to figure it out themselves.

Don't let time pass without taking the steps. I told my family 4 years ago and the world didn't end. They laugh at me sometimes, but I don't care. I am free now to be myself.

[Darlene-VA]

Yes I agree it is best to tell people, my parents and brother know and most of my closest friends know of Darlene and they have instructions to donate all of my clothes.

[PretzelGirl]

I agree. If you live alone or haven't told the people you live with, it is probably wise to tell them or leave a note with your belongings. If you don't tell them, then they are left to whatever their imaginations want to come up with.

I only met Mardi last year at DLV. She was friendly, positive, and very involved. I am sure she will be missed in your community and many others.

[Stephenie S]

Huh?

I find it strange to have to leave a letter. Would you do so for any other act you don't want to explain when you are living?

"Dear Family, You know I carried on a lusty relationship with my ex long after our divorce."

"Dear Family, You know that new car I bought in 2006? I embezzled the money from my company."

"Dear Family, You know I never loved my wife. In reality I was a closet homosexual for most of my life."

All such revelations can only serve to cause more trouble than they are worth.

And note, if you will, such trouble is caused by YOU, but only after you are gone and no longer have to be accountable for your disclosure. This sounds kinda chicken s**t to me.

If you want to be held responsible for your actions (and I do approve of being responsible), then "man up" and do it when it means something. After you die, it scarcely matters to YOU, right? It can only bring confusion and ill will to those you love if you wait until after you are gone.

S

[AlanaG]

Personally I don't care what they find when I'm gone. It will just give them more to talk about.

[Cassandra Lynn]

I had a major heart attack last summer, one of which the docs told me 60% of folks would not have survived.

I'm healthy now but it changed me somewhat, and even though just a yr and a half ago i thought i would hide this part of me forever, i now think that it would be for the best to come out. I may not tell my dad, but i know some of them wonder about the issues i've had in my life.
Coming out would explain many things to them.
I'm now easing the extended family (dad and brothers and their families, i'm single with no kids) into it, and i hope by the end of this year to at least tell the oldest brother.

Thanx for the reminder Michelle and God Bless Mardi and her family as they deal with this difficult time.

I doubt this post was about a leaving a letter folks, more so an attempt to give more thought to what comes after.

[PretzelGirl]

While I agree with you in principle Stephanie, I wanted to avoid sending this into becoming a tell or don't tell thread. So for those that don't want to tell, a note is the next best alternative.

[Stephanie47]

If I precede my wife, she'll take care of the clothing. I'm sure since she is not a fan of me cross dressing my wardrobe will be donated. If I precede her and then check out, well I really do not give a crap.

Since she and I will be in the hole in the wall at the veterans cemetery, she may have something to yell at me about! Oh, well. We are married for eternity. Maybe, I'll finally get to wear a flowing chiffon angelic gown. Then I will not be a cross dresser!