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Thread: Why do these images make me sad?

  1. #26
    Aspiring Member Violetgray's Avatar
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    Just like I cannot drop something that is already on the ground, nor can I "out" someone who was open in first place.

    If I were to say, "HEY EVERYBODY! ELTON JOHN IS GAY!" Would I be outing him too?

  2. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Violetgray View Post
    Just like I cannot drop something that is already on the ground, nor can I "out" someone who was open in first place.

    If I were to say, "HEY EVERYBODY! ELTON JOHN IS GAY!" Would I be outing him too?
    OMG!!! Elton John is gay?

  3. #28
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    52% of the population is female. How many of those get their pictures published in any large publication? This is a small representation of Post-ops. They are the fringe so to speak. There is no reason to be sad, or jealous, or angry. They are who they are. The emotion should be no different than when you look at any other model. You may 'want" but unless you have unlimited time, money and desire, you won't ever "be".


    I look on them with admiration both for the strength to change and for being open about it.
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
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    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  4. #29
    CamilleLeon's SO Shananigans's Avatar
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    Hey...what's that guy looking at in picture #3? hehehehe

    I look at those pictures and see women. A couple of those women had A LOT of plastic surgery...but, I still see women. I wouldn't have known they were trans unless you had said something. Or, they told me.

    You are probably jealous because you identify as trans and you probably have some ideal in your head built up that they are living up to that you think you aren't. (Did that sentence make sense?) GGs have been doing this since...forever.

    I think I was either dealt a really lucky card by being bi...or, it makes things really confusing. It's kind of weird to be sexually attracted to someone, but also a little envious of them at the same time. But, it always seems that sexual attraction wins. (If the hot person found me attractive, didn't I win?)

    I think people have been comparing themselves to each other sense forever. With men, it's usually the whole, "I can pee further than you...I can drink more beers than you...I can get more women than you." (Yes, that's my assessment of men). With women, it's more, "I wish I had her boobs. I wish I had her hair. I wish I had her clothes." You are identifying as trans...are you transitioning? If so, I could see wanting to have the same "successful transition." I'd say these women had pretty good success because I wouldn't have known they were born men. So, in other words, they have reached their goal.

    It feels a whole lot better when you learn not to compare yourself to other people. But, I can't say that I always do this successfully.
    "Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
    “What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck

  5. #30
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    When you see photos of these perfect looking trans-women, keep in mind it is the exception and not the rule.

    Reason it makes you sad but GG's would not is - we can really only compare ourselves to other TG women. GG's were born with XX and we were not.

    I think we all want to look perfect in whatever gender we present.

    Violet, for yourself, I honestly think you look better than any of those four and here is why - you look more natural, those TS you posted look like clowns from the neck up. I would not mind having a body like them but the face - not so much. There are a lot of envied TS out there who just look weird. Yes it looks like women but not natural ones.
    Last edited by Nicole Erin; 04-03-2012 at 02:46 PM.
    It takes a true Erin to be a pain in the assatar.

  6. #31
    Silver Member kellycan27's Avatar
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    I also see these beautiful women as nothing short or inspirational! Not just because they are beautiful, but also because they followed their dream and by the looks of them I'd say that they have "arrived"! Sad? no, a little envious.. yes. What I do find as sad is people who feel the need to criticize or critic them in any way... I think that would fall more under the category of "sour grapes".
    "one day I'll fly away..... leave all this to yesterday"

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  7. #32
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kellycan27 View Post
    I also see these beautiful women as nothing short or inspirational! Not just because they are beautiful, but also because they followed their dream and by the looks of them I'd say that they have "arrived"!
    Stated by one of the members who is inspirational and has arrived
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
    Chief Joseph
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    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  8. #33
    Just a girl at heart too Kerigirl2009's Avatar
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    I am with most of the others here. Envious of the girls who made their dreams a reality.
    I wish I had the courage to just be myself and live my life how I want

  9. #34
    Junior Member Anna Abwaerts's Avatar
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    @Violetgray - you did not mention what kind of "sad" it is. Maybe it is jealousy?

    This is how they make Me sad - they transitioned, yes, they look cute. But they all are asian, they may be referred as ladyboys. Not only they transitioned, they jumped on the bandwagon to make themselves look like innocent teenage barbiedolls- all for what? - To please other men. They got caught in media stigma of what is beauty.

    I realise if youre from Taiwan or <somewhere there> becoming a woman is quite an acceptable reality, because of the sex industry. But it makes me sad that they give up on one personality to substitute it with another, thus losing themselves.

  10. #35
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    OK, when I said "jealous" or envious, its really meant in an entirely humourous vein. I frankly admire these women. I think they've done a great thing and I'm glad that, however they've acheived such levels of beauty, that they exemplify that beauty is not gender-specific. And yes, deep inside I wish I could be them, but there's no anger or hostility in that simple fantasy. We all compare ourselves to "ideals" and find ourselves wanting.

    I wish I could look like Candice Bergen at 30. I wish I could look like Robert Redford at 30 or Brad Pitt at 30. Hell, Robert Redford probably wishes he could look like Brad Pitt at 30, and Brad Pitt probably wishes he could look like Candice Bergen did at 30....

  11. #36
    Silver Member kellycan27's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anna Abwaerts View Post
    @Violetgray - you did not mention what kind of "sad" it is. Maybe it is jealousy?

    This is how they make Me sad - they transitioned, yes, they look cute. But they all are asian, they may be referred as ladyboys. Not only they transitioned, they jumped on the bandwagon to make themselves look like innocent teenage barbiedolls- all for what? - To please other men. They got caught in media stigma of what is beauty.



    I realise if youre from Taiwan or <somewhere there> becoming a woman is quite an acceptable reality, because of the sex industry. But it makes me sad that they give up on one personality to substitute it with another, thus losing themselves.
    I am sorry, but this makes no sense, and to be quite honest your post reeks of prejudice and homophobia. I think you have a couple of things backwards. If they are changing their personality, it's not losing themselves, it's finding their true selves. No matter what their sexual preference. Acceptable because of the sex trade? I suggest you read up on the Thai culture, cause you don't have a clue. The one thing that did get somewhat correct was in regards to "the stigma of what beauty is". Even so..right wrong or indifferent.. it is what it is.. Some will win, some will lose, some were born to sing the blues.. or in other words....life's a bitch and then you die.
    "one day I'll fly away..... leave all this to yesterday"

    http://youtu.be/kR7NlgwVHHg

  12. #37
    In transmission whowhatwhen's Avatar
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    I thought every CD envied the features of GGs, hell, if someone says "hey, there's one for ya" I'm thinking "I really love her eyebrows, I wish I could have mine like that".
    Maybe being TG means you can relate to them a bit better?

  13. #38
    CamilleLeon's SO Shananigans's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whowhatwhen View Post
    I thought every CD envied the features of GGs, hell, if someone says "hey, there's one for ya" I'm thinking "I really love her eyebrows, I wish I could have mine like that".
    Maybe being TG means you can relate to them a bit better?
    I feel you. I hate anyone with good eyebrows...I can be a "sour grape" about it. :-D

    One of my friends is a gay GM...perfect eyebrows. I was letting him shape them one day, and he said, "We may need to take them all off and start over." He was just playing...but, for real though.

    Idk maybe I'm weird...but, I'm not envious in particular to any group of people. Maybe slightly more GGs...because, I relate mostly to them/us. (?) I'm just envious of people that make me envious. There's no rhyme nor reason to it sometimes. I spent all of today envious of my male cohort because he eats ding dongs all day. (That's why she said). And, I could probably throw him across the room. Like, how can someone be blessed with that metabolism? I might as well throw every cupcake that I eat into my pants because that's where it goes. People that can actually eat sweets mak me sad. Maybe I'll be super rich and can afford plastic surgery one day. It seems like everyone likes the surgical look. I kinda like how I look naturally, but people think that "hot people" are like crazy surgically altered. I mean, I think surgery would be a last resort...maybe if I got Really fat and ugly. But, idk Violet, I think these girls are hot...but, I think you look better generally because you don't look fresh off the operating table. Just my opinion.
    "Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
    “What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck

  14. #39
    Silver Member STACY B's Avatar
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    Yea I do get alot of that when folks see me in my SWIM SUIT ,,, Yall know thats me right ,,,,,RIGHT ???
    Yull Find Out !!! lol,,,,

  15. #40
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    Violet,
    I can look at several pictures from members who post on this forum and feel a personal longing for what might have been. Having surpressed my femme side for so long, I often wonder how much more comfortable I would feel I had started to express myself earlier in a supportive environment. But at the same time I feel a joy in seeing others realize their potential and project such an elegant and natural image.
    Warmly,
    Sheren Kelly

  16. #41
    ...don't encourage me Josie M's Avatar
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    It's tough to guess how you're feeling because all of our experiences are different.

    These are women who's transitions look to have been pretty successful. Coming to accept ourselves as we are is such struggle, perhaps these pictures can make you wonder what may have been if you could have come to terms with it all much earlier in life. Maybe you'd never have transitioned regardless....but it's hard not to "second guess" at times.

    I know I wish I'd have understood that I was TG early on, I don't think I'd transition because I like my male half as well, but just understanding and accepting myself for who I am would have added some much needed context to my life early on.....

    Shoot, I wish I was as open as you are back when I was your age...
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  17. #42
    Silver Member kellycan27's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lorileah View Post
    Stated by one of the members who is inspirational and has arrived

    That was a very sweet thing to say.. thank you.

    Kel
    "one day I'll fly away..... leave all this to yesterday"

    http://youtu.be/kR7NlgwVHHg

  18. #43
    Member makin' it real's Avatar
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    So I'm approaching this from a slightly different angle. The OP described feeling sad in response to the images and seemed to want to explore her feelings and why this might be so. I have to say that while at the surface level, I too experience jealousy or envy when I see a good looking TG person, wherever they are on the TG spectrum, I also often experience a sense of sadness, even akin to grief, when I allow myself to settle in to any one of many commercial pictures.

    This is a curious thing, and I ask your willing suspension of immediate judgment as I follow Violet's lead to a deeper place inside. I feel pain when I see another in pain. The more vulnerable I allow myself to be, the more I experience inside me what I see outside me.

    There is much pain to experience in these pictures, along with appreciation for the people's courage and respect for who they are and how they got to be where they are. Being TS is rarely easy. It is almost always accompanied by heart-wrenching difficulties. When I look at pictures of people who have experienced a great deal of pain in their lives, I often experience a sense of that pain as well. So that is one way I feel sad looking at these pictures.

    Then there's the sadness I experience in the presence of people who have given up important parts of themselves. I have done this, hiding my CDing and gender issues even from myself for many many years, hating myself for having these thoughts and doing these things, and cutting myself off from important and valuable parts of who I genuinely am. When I see that in others, that charade-like protective covering donned to appear in a form intended to garner love for its wearer, I feel sad.

    The physical forms chosen by at least a couple of the women in those original pictures seem to be hyper-sexual rather than fully authentic expressions of inner truth. I grieve at the loss of connection with self that represents. After the wild exuberance that sometimes accompanies wanton sexuality, comes the recognition that we are more than sexual beings, and that wild or frequent sex alone makes a poor substitute for the genuine love and connection that is our true hunger and need. So when I hang my identity on my sexuality, I effectively divorce myself from my true needs and say I'll be satisfied with this plastic replacement of real nourishment. And that is sad.

    I see some of these elements in the pictures Violet posted. I don't know anything about the women in those pictures, nor do I mean to say anything about them. I am sharing my emotional responses to some pictures. And yes, when I allow myself to look beyond the surface, some of the pictures lead me to feel sad too.

    ~Rachel
    Last edited by makin' it real; 04-04-2012 at 11:42 PM.

  19. #44
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    Im not so much sad as envious. I envy them the freedom to express who they truly are, if not their aesthetic choices. I was raised in a time and place where men are MEN, dammit, and femininity is an offense punishable by physical, verbal and/or emotional abuse. I learned the best survival tactic was to be a man and deny the very existence of my inner little girl. The generation of the girls in your pictures have suffered much less, not to say zero, of that pressure and likely have fewer scars to show for it.

  20. #45
    Member Sophie_C's Avatar
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    I've seen trans women even more passable than them, or anyone posted yet. What can I say? If I was born so I was 12 now, I'd transition then and my life would be completely different. That's just how the cards fell. No point in dragging myself down thinking of what could have been, right before the internet broke out.

  21. #46
    Junior Member muzzy's Avatar
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    SAD,no...JEALOUS,yes....I would love to look that feminine mmmmm I want to xoxo

  22. #47
    Me, Myself & Rachael Rachaelb64's Avatar
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    Only the first one made me a bit sad maybe because she was so natural looking. Life has delt me my cards so I'm playing with this hand
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Life is to short so enjoy it to the full

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  23. #48
    Gold Member TxKimberly's Avatar
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    I absolutely "get it" Violet.
    I cant speak for anyone else, but I've encountered the feeling often enough to have devoted some effort to figuring out why they make me feel that way. For me, they represent something that I desperately wish I could have done and experienced but know for absolute certain that I now can't.
    And the feeling is no where near as simple or crass as mere envy. Envy is fairly simple to understand - this is something more. This is a longing and a profound sadness for a life that I will never have.
    These people were dealt the same hand that I was, and are now living a reasonably normal female life while I continue to plod along as an aging man.
    It's not that I'm jealous of these people - that would be kind of a crude and maybe less than flattering emotion on my part. I dont resent them for what they have or who they are.
    It's more a deep sadness for a life that know I might have had, but also know that I will never have now.

  24. #49
    Aspiring Member Noemi's Avatar
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    What will make me sad is pictures of CD'ers that look totally male and done wrong. That will bum me out.
    The ladies you picked live full time as women. If you went full time you would girl it up to the next level too, as would I. Plus when we think about transitioning later in life, in our 40's as many start to get hip to the fact that they are trans at this age, it is a bit different than these ladies. Who all look great-well there is the blonde with a bit too much plastic, but what a figure...
    Early transitions are a wonder, to know at that young age. When I was young I was always depressed and ran and ran from my feminine feelings. So I give these ladies credit for their courage and resourcefulness.
    polythene pam

  25. #50
    Silver Member victoriamwilliams1's Avatar
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    Sidney Star looks great and Violet you look great as well so why be so sad sis

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