Too Damn Tall :(

[Anne2345]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I have harped on my height before in the past. Well, I'm about to do it again, and there is nothing you can do about it short of immediately exiting out of this post. So if you’re going to stick around, just let me rant for a minute . . . .

"Wow! You are really tall! Do you play basketball?"

This is a question that I have been asked many, many times throughout my life, and I was just asked it again just a little while ago. I am not actually sure exactly how many times I have been asked this question, but my guess is that it is somewhere around 11,546,368 times.

So yeah, at 6’4, I am tall. And I do play basketball. In fact, I have played hoops since I was a kid, and still to this day play it every week of the year, even at my current age of 42. I also happen to be quite good at it, thank you very much, but that is neither here nor there . . . .

But the thing is, I am too damn tall! That others remark about it while I am in drab confirms it. Statistics confirm it. There are taller guys out there than me, but not many. And there are even fewer women that are my height or taller. Just a miniscule number, actually, and not a number of any real significance.

Please, however, spare me the comfort. I have heard over and over again on this forum that there are more tall girls around than ever, that you have to own your height, that many will not pay attention to it regardless, and so on. From where I am standing, though, high within the clouds, I beg to differ. People do notice. It’s actually quite difficult not to notice when you are standing in the presence of someone that is towering over you.

As such, trying to blend in anonymously as a woman at 6’4 is damn near impossible. It is game over. I suppose, however, that there is nothing I can do about it, except to continue playing basketball until my stupid knees or ankles blow out. There is, after all, no amount of makeup that can conceal height.

But damn I hate it! It sucks! I am just too damn f'ing tall!

I can still hear the question in my mind from earlier today:

"Wow! You are really tall! Do you play basketball?"

Yes goddamnit! I am tall! I do play basketball! Now leave me alone, go away, and stop reminding me that I am one freaky tall ass chick!

Sigh.

Thank you for allowing me this rant. I'm done now.

[STACY B]

Well you could have fooled me ,, Cuz I didn't even notice . Im to busy always looking at your PRETTY FACE !

[Marleena]

We all have shortcomings. The question is do we move the barriers to happiness or leave them in our way?

[Secret_Dresser]

I somewhat know the feeling, Im currently 6tf 5. Though I dont get asked/remarked about being tall. Most people I speak to are used to it and given my male look strangers would surely be a bit scared, being a tall goth has its advantages XD

I do feel for you since pretty much any heels would make us stick out even more in a crowd(though currently I havn't went out en femme).

Its not just the heels thats the problem I find tho, I find some clothing hard to find aswell.

Last thing I will say however is, forget what you think the world sees you as, try and use your height to your advantage when dressing. Not sure how currently but there will be a way to utilise it.

[ReineD]

I'll spare you the cheering section comments. I agree, it is more difficult to be under people's radars when you're 6'4".

But, here's what I suggest:

1. Don't worry about the future so much, it's too nebulous. Just focus on the next step.

2. Begin by going to places dressed where it doesn't matter if you are read, for example a TG support group, or a place where they have good drag shows. Bring your wife.

3. Do this for 6 months to a year.

4. When you've reached the point of being comfortable with yourself in public, start going out to semi "safe" places, such as cafes or restaurants in the gay-friendly parts of town. Wear flats. Then you can branch out from there, such as having a manicure in a nail salon nearby, or doing some window shopping and perhaps even going into a shop or two. Do this for about 6 months.

5. Now we've reached the nebulous future, but let me say that if you just focus on steps 1-4 for now, over time you'll have found some places to go where you feel comfortable. You might have branched out even more. It won't matter whether the people who work at your regular haunts or the patrons fully understand who you are or not. You'll find that they'll treat you nicely in the manner that you present.

[Julogden]

Yep, it does suck. I'm sick and tired of tiny, little 5'6" tall CD's telling us tall ones to "own" our height or that we should dress to blend. If they knew how annoying that is, they'd stop, except for the ones that enjoy annoying us.

I used to get "How's the weather up there?" too. A non-CD friend of mine who was even an inch or two taller than me had a t-shirt made that said "No, I don't play basketball". Nowadays, if I were to have a shirt made, it would be a bit more rude. As I've gotten older, I've become more cranky too.

Carol

[Chari]

It is always good to get the "rant" out in the open. IMO, there is always something about each of us as individuals which causes disappointment - too tall, too short, too heavy, too old, too young - and the list goes on! Try to accept all that you are and enjoy life.

[Eryn]

I feel a lot better about being 6'2" now! Thanks!

I was grocery shopping in drab mode today and noted a GG who was about an inch taller than I. She was in flats. I wonder if she worries as much about being 6'3" as we do about being 6'2" or 6'4"?

At our height we are very good at estimating the height of people of similar height. However, to anyone much below the six foot mark we're all just "tall." When I do meet up with another tall woman the interaction is nearly always the same. We each glance at the other's feet, then look up and smile. Sometimes they're cheating with heels, I'm usually not!

[Molly Wells]

Oh the Irony!
At 5'5" All of my life I have heard derogatory comments about me being short, made fun of, and on and on. Most of those who make those comments do so as a lame attempt at humor. I learned to live with it long ago but I never liked being the butt of someone's joke or the object of ridicule. Many think they are being funny and just don't get why it is irritating to me. I have learned to be "non responsive" to the comments and such as best as I can. But the flip side is that as I have embraced my femme side more and more as I have gotten older I really find my height to be very advantageous for me, and yes, I love it. Anne, I am not going to say embrace it because I do have empathy for you in there being something that you have no control over being made a point of others comments. Anne, my heart is with you but I just wish I could use this type of situation to make a point to some of those that I know that are really tall about the one advantage I have over them. LOL
Hugs,
Molly

[Diana Bain]

Yep, your tall! I'll throw in 6' 1' with a 44" chest (linebacker shoulders and arms to go with it) 34" waist and no hips. In the grand scheme...we are who we are. I dress as a tall women...peroid end. I wear clothes that suit my height. Yes, 5'5" 36-24-36 would be nice, however...not in this lifetime. Enjoy who you are, life is to short!

[rachaelsloane]

Anne,
You're not ranting, just letting us know you don't wear 5" heels.
Rachael

[Stephanie47]

I use to be six foot two. Now I'm six foot even. At this rate I should be five foot six when I'm 260 years old. Oh, well. Now I have something to live for!!!

[Sandra1746]

Any day you aren't lying in a hole with people throwing dirt in your face is a good day.
Enjoy the day whatever the circumstances of your body.

Hugs,
Sandra1746

[Contessa]

Well you could have fooled me ,, Cuz I didn't even notice . Im to busy always looking at your PRETTY FACE !

I agree with Stacy, why not just say No I can't play at all. Unless you are actually proud of it. I can neither play basketball, nor do I look like as lovely a woman as you. Stay in the game we're glad to have you on our team. I know you get the pun. Go CDers!

Tess

[Leslie Langford]

There is a type of surgery available to reduce a person's height, and it usually involves shortening the femur bones in the lower legs. But it is a risky and painful procedure that also involves a lengthy convalescence, and the results may not always turn out as expected.

Of course, the other option is to move to the Netherlands, which has - statistically speaking - the the tallest people in the world overall, both males and females:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_h...ound_the_world

Far less of a problem in blending in there...

[Marleena]

Of course, the other option is to move to the Netherlands, which has - statistically speaking - the the tallest people in the world overall, both males and females:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_h...ound_the_world

Far less of a problem in blending in there...

It looks like we all need to avoid Bolivia

[Marguarite]

We change the the things we can.
We accept the things we can't.
In the words of a little green guy with pointy ears "Size matters not".
The next time some asks if you play basket ball, tell them "Yes, and I could have gone Pro, if i only had a jump shot"

[Jacqueline Winona]

Anne, my good friend as someone who stands 5'7" 1/4 on a good day, all I can say is be thankful you have a reason to shave your legs every day- hairless legs do much better when you suffer the inevitable floor or court burn while playing. Tell everyone who asks that Dave Cowens was your idol (I know you're old enough to know who I'm talking about). As for the rest of your issue, as someone who in male mode is always too short to be taken seriously, I can feel your pain. But I also live by the underestimate me at your peril creed and have found a way to use that issue to my advantage.

[Anne2345]

We all have shortcomings.

Shortcomings? In this instance, don't ya mean (wait for it, wait for it) tallcomings? Ouch! That was HORRIBLE! I apologize to everyone for that . . . .

Its not just the heels thats the problem I find tho, I find some clothing hard to find aswell.

Don't even get me started on the difficulty of finding women's clothing that fits properly. It's not impossible, but it involves much time and effort.

I'll spare you the cheering section comments.

Thank you, Reine! And thank you for everything else, as well!

Oh the Irony! At 5'5" All of my life I have heard derogatory comments about me being short, made fun of, and on and on.
. . .
Anne, my heart is with you but I just wish I could use this type of situation to make a point to some of those that I know that are really tall about the one advantage I have over them. LOL

LOLOLOLOL!!!! Very well played, and nicely done!

Enjoy who you are, life is to short!

No pun intended, right?

Any day you aren't lying in a hole with people throwing dirt in your face is a good day.

Well, um, since you put it that way, I suppose being too damn tall is better than being too damn dead.

The next time some asks if you play basket ball, tell them "Yes, and I could have gone Pro, if i only had a jump shot"

But I do have a jump shot! The WNBA should be calling for me any moment now. Hold on a sec, I hear the phone ringing . . . .

I agree with Stacy, why not just say No I can't play at all. Unless you are actually proud of it. I can neither play basketball, nor do I look like as lovely a woman as you. Stay in the game we're glad to have you on our team. I know you get the pun. Go CDers!

I am proud of it. Point well taken. But you are otherwise much too kind to me! I really appreciate it nonetheless . . . .

Well you could have fooled me ,, Cuz I didn't even notice . Im to busy always looking at your PRETTY FACE !

Have I told you how much I love you lately? Because I really do . . . .

[Frédérique]

But damn I hate it! It sucks! I am just too damn f'ing tall!

[SIZE="2"]This is why I look UP to you, Anne...

BTW, I’m just a shade less than six feet tall... [/SIZE]

[sometimes_miss]

Anne, I'm your height. Like you, I love basketball, and played until my knees gave out. Now all I do is shoot baskets and still dream about driving the lane against Chamberlain.
It's not so bad. Long sleeves become 3/4 sleeves. normal skirts become pretty short skirts. I wear 3" heels, they look pretty, and don't feel much different than my guy shoes, but sadly few styles in a size 16 (if you want my 5"heels you can have 'em, my knees can't tolerate them anymore).
The last time I even saw a woman as tall or taller than me was about 30 years ago, when a woman's basketball team came into a restaurant I was in at the time.
Remember the good stuff. People are intimidated by height. They pretty much leave us alone. We get served first at counters; I can't tell you how many times I'm standing with a group of people and the salesperson walks up and looks right at me and says 'How can I help you?' even though it's pretty clear I wasn't the first one in line.
Of course, I still can't fit into my damned dream car, the Lotus Europa.
But if I ever see you across the top of the crowd, I'll wave.

[Barbara Dugan]

I kind of hate my size at 5'10'' not really a towering height , but I am Hispanic and the great majority of my relatives are an average of 5'5''.

[Jeanna]

You are tall and beautiful, stop your complaining

[Bree Wagner]

Everyone deserves a good rant every now and again. Anne, you did it well and with a good sense of humor about it, I'm impressed. The other day I had a major rant about the 'quality' of a paper I had to review. Going nuts over the poor use of English is a trivial thing compared to what you're dealing with so, by all means, rant on when you need to. Hopefully you'll feel better afterwards. If not, maybe ranting isn't for you!
-Bree

[ReineD]

Anne, forgive me. I think maybe I should have been a guy. I jumped right into the "fix-it" mode. You were just ranting.