Just curious. I see a lot of threads about coming out to mom, the girlfriend, and the wife. Wondering if anyone has come out to their fathers and what the reaction was. I only ask because my dad's gonna be home all day tomorrow yet Nordstrom has a dress on sale that I absolutely love and I'm so gonna pick it up!
Every Dad wants his son to be a Jock. Every Dad wants to see his son be happy and balanced. So your "coming out" will hurt him but he will get used to it and be more understanding and maybe offer useful advise on how to handle your situation.
After reading your thread I am guessing that you are young and still living home. Please don't misunderstand what I'm saying but if the former is true then I would consider how your dad would handle this "revelation". As far as buying that dress, go do it!!!!! You can always get it into the house later. Good luck in whatever you decide.
Mollyanne
"To thine own self be true"
My dad was the last person in my immediate family I told. I've always been closer to my dad, for reasons I won't go into here. While he's easy going and not your typical macho bloke, I didn't want him to think any less of me as he's one of the few people on the planet whos opinion of me, actually matters to me.
One day I decided that I didn't want to hide it from him anymore so the next time he came to see me I made him wait in the living room while I went to get changed. I put on my white knee-length skirt, tan wedges and a cream long sleeved top (Well you have to describe your outfit!) and nervously made my way downstairs and into the living room.
To my surprise my dad didn't react with any, lol. I guess he remembers catching me walking around in my step-mums heels one day, many years ago. He said if it makes me happy then he's got no problem with it and that I'm not hurting anyone. I loved him even more after that.
I'm sure you have some idea of how your dad will react! Mine was set in his way and coming out to him would of been life threatening! I hope the best for you in the dicision you choose! But DO buy that dress! Hugs!
If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:
When I came out I wrote a detailed letter to a number of family members and close friends. Obviously that included my mom and dad. I was surprised that my dad handled it much better than my mom. Never expected that.
My lesson learned about coming out is that predicting how people will react is not easy. You will be surprised!
My father was much more likely to suggest a trip to a science museum, or suggest that we look at the rock formations, than to suggest something athletic. He let me be athletic in my own way (ride my bike, a bit of gymnastics).Originally Posted by Trannygranny
It has been more than 35 years since he died, so it is difficult to say what he would have thought of me. I do know, though, that he was basically an introvert who had his own struggles to find a place in society, and to do what he thought was right, and I think he would understand from his own experience that those kinds of struggles and where they lead are important.
I came out to my dad before I actually told my mom. Dad has a thing for pantyhose and didn't have a problem me dressing was long as I didn't bother his things.
My Dad passed away 5 years ago. When I was 10, my parents discovered my secret and send me to a shrink. Not a fun experience, this was in the '60's and they were clueless.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
A bit off topic, but this is interesting for me to hear. My parents/Mom knew I was wearing her things, even found some girl clothes in my room a couple of times when I was pretty young and when I was in my early twenties too but never said a word, well she called me a pervert once when I was older.
Anyway, I was wondering about if they sent me to a shrink I would have had an easier time coping through my teens.....as I am obviously tged...it would have been the 70's for me, probably for the best. I avoid people in the medical profession whenever possible.
Not to go on, as I do not like reading long posts. But I am very close to my Dad. especially since Mom died about ten years ago. He does not realize that I am his daughter taking care of him. He is kind of old school Italian, but an educated professional too, i do not know how he would react. we love each other allot, but it would embarrass him too.
Jess, enjoy your posts and those pics you put up were groovy too!!
polythene pam
There was a thread I started in fall 2008, "would your father be proud of you". I was saddened by many of the responses.
My dad was first to find out. It was last summer and my dad comes to visit and stays for a few weeks. We have a great time together and a chance to reconnect and reflect. I love my dad and I cherish the time.
At the same time, I was well into really listening to that girl inside. I was starting to build outfits, and I had a rather decent cache of knickers. I made it a point before he arrived to hide anything remote girly.
Well one day after a returned home from work...He said sternly, "Son, we need to talk."
And at first I thought he didn't like the beer I bought. Of there wasn't right mustard for the hot dogs.
He made dinner, and he was cleaning a part of the apartment....I sat down to dinner...and well..
He said, "Son...Could you explain...this?"
He held up a few pairs of my panties. And they were strikingly incriminating. They were Victoria's Secret...pink, lace trims..bows..in short....BUSTED.
"Now dad...." I said slowly. "I can explain..."
"Son, you aren't dating anybody..I know that...Son....be honest with me."
"Dad, I wear them..In fact I have a pair on now....The are heather grey soft cotton with a pink trim."
"Son...why?"
"I feel sexy and pretty in them. And after a hard day. I like to dress up like a girl in my apartment. It is a very calming, relaxing thing for me."
"Are you gay, son?" "No, dad..I am not."
"Son...I don't get it...I can't accept it.."
He was a little upset. He went out for a walk. I let him go...Later that night..He came back to me, and we talked for maybe four hours. He was very calmed and measure. Asked a lot of question. It was actually very good for me that he did that. It was first time that I really investigated why I was feeling the way I was feeling. How I feel it was first time that I really dug deep into all of this. It was as much being honest with myself as it was being honest with my dad. Really digging into a lot of things going back to growing up and a lot of feelings that I never really investigated. My dad at first was like, "Was I to blame because I wasn't always there," etc. That was the biggest key. I had nothing to do with anybody else..This was me, and this inner girl is as much of a part of me as the scrappy little kid he would coach in football. I was an angry, fiesty, competitive little kid, and part of that was a counterbalance to the girly side and girly things I liked.
By the end of the night, we had a good laugh about it. My dad said, "I always knew that was something a little freaky about you. But that's okay, its means you're normal."
"But son, promise me, you'll never go out in public dressed like a girl...I don't think you could pass.."
That was before I showed him a picture of me dressed for a party the previous year, and that was long before I knew what I was doing (Yes he was stunned. He actually asked, "Did you ask this girl out?"). I'm a light year away from were I was then.
The first time I went out alone was a month ago, and that was an impulse after really seeing how far I could push the the envelope. There was this TG/CD night at a local club. I had a really great new wig and a corset..and a bounce of confidence..Even so I was nervous, but I thought.."Hell if my conservative gruff ol' dad could be okay with it...I think I can be okay with walking into this club and just be me."
I would like to think he would have been totally supportive. He has been gone longer than I have been dressing, so it was never anything for me to consider. But when my sister came out as bi, he hugged her and supported her without question. So I take that as a good sign that he is looking down and still being supportive.
Mom and Dad passed long before i began dressing, so i cannot speculate. One thing I know from reading and life in general, never think you know what your parents will do, especially when it is one of their babies doing something that they fear could endanger their baby's safety. They are such wonderfully complex loving people who will break your stereotype of them in a heartbeat.
Barbara
He (she) who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance.
- Friedrich Nietzche -
I may never get to fly like the other girls, but I do so want to dance, so I continue to climb.
My dad would be mad and upset if I told him i still want to dress like a girl my mom is ok with it she actually let me where her bra once and then she let me dress like my favorite scooby doo character daphne for a week and then she let me dress like my favorite star trek tng character deanna troi but once my dad caught wind of this he thew a fit went through all my drawers and cupboards with a trash bag and threw out every thing and my mom was scared to let me continue she still suggests that I go as a girl to a friends halloween party every year because she does not think my dad will care because it was Halloween then she remembers what happened last time she let me do this
I've never had much of a relationship with my dad. he was never really in the picture too much growing up and I haven't talked to him at all since I turned 18 over 3 years ago (Proof that he never cared about me anyways) . I just started coming out to people about my crossdressing this past October....so yeah...Dad doesn't know...but then again, he doesn't even know where I live. lol, sorry, I'm kind of a bad example.
However.... my mom recently got engaged to a pretty cool guy and we're probably going to let him know about me some time this week. I'm even going to see if I can wear a dress to the reception! (everyone in my life who matters knows and is very supportive) It will probably be a no...but it can't hurt to ask! XD
Last edited by Courtney_Glenn; 04-23-2012 at 05:57 AM.
I actually came out to my father back in 1996, and it went as well as can be expected. He is of the "If I don't talk about it, it doesn't exist", mindset. I felt that I had to come out to him because in January of 1996, 2 of my good friends were murdered in El Cajon California and the news media revealed that one was bi-sexual, a factor that his friends knew, but his family did not. I felt I should probably come out to my father in case something happened to me and he would know so it would not be a shock to him. (My mother knew since 1987).
Of course, little did I know they both already knew about it because they were told in 1985 before I moved back with them by the folks who had been raising me for the previous 10 years. Of course, when I came out to THEM, they thought I was crazy and wanted to have me committed, but that's another story altogether.
Someone once told me "Put on Your big girl panties and deal with it". If they only knew, I WAS ALREADY WEARING THEM.
I wear the bras and panties so my wife doesn't have to.
WARNING:Any institutions or individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for studies , projects or any other reasons You DO NOT have permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you have or do, it will be considered a violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
Kandis, I grew up in El Cajon California and was sure surprised to see my home town mentioned in your message. Just when you think it is a small world huh.
my dad will most definitely think of less of me. He'd want to kick my ass but I'm too old to allow him to do such. It's best for him to not know. But he for all I know I he can care less. He already thinks my brother and I are gay (which isn't true), according to my mom. He doesn't mention that to any of us. So he may be accepting. Still though I'll keep it from him for now
I didn't have the chance to come out to my dad, he died a couple of years ago. Hwoever I think he might have known anyway. I remember one day my mom accidently found a pair of fishnets that I had. The next day, dad asked me about it. I can't remember what I said, but I kinda side-stepped the issue in a joking manner. He said that he didn't care what I chose to wear.
Yes, I lived on Lexington Ave for my last year in El Cajon, I was a salesman at Drew Ford/Hyundai/Volkswagon for about 6 years then moved to Houston Texas.
Someone once told me "Put on Your big girl panties and deal with it". If they only knew, I WAS ALREADY WEARING THEM.
I wear the bras and panties so my wife doesn't have to.
WARNING:Any institutions or individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for studies , projects or any other reasons You DO NOT have permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you have or do, it will be considered a violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.
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