Self Help

[Nigella]

Forgive me for veering slightly off topic, but I just want to congratulate you and your SO for making this long and difficult journey together and successfully.

Thank you Kim

To Rianna & Nigella, I have a question. Is there a stigma in the UK associated with seeing therapists? I ask, because I've also noticed a few posts from other UK residents along similar lines, giving the impression that therapy in general is not necessary. I know you're not saying it isn't necessary Rianna, but you seem to almost be excusing your reasons for going to a support group.

I would say it is more the typical stiff upper lip, within the UK, it is the sort of thing that is not spoken about.

And Nigella I know you're not putting down others for seeing therapists, but you seem to be quite proud that you've never had to?

Sorry If I gave the impression I had not seen a therapist, I have but not until I had a bout of depression, a few things were going on in my life at the time. It was at this point that I realised, with help from the therapist, that I needed to seek medical help with my transition, I had done all I could, but I needed more and I was not prepared to self medicate.

The majority of my transition has been through self help, and yes I will admit I am proud of that fact.

I would never dream of putting anyone down for seeking therapy, I believe it is a brave person that admits they need help from someone else.

If anyone has taken offence or thought I was unsympathetic, I do apologise, I was just interested to see how much people have done for themselves.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I think its great to be proud of getting through transition on your own...its an incredible accomplishment!!

My pragmatic point in therapy threads is that your success with self treatment is not relevant to a person that can use therapy to proceed...
Your well deserved success is about you, its about your courage and determination....not about how helpful therapy can be..

and sometimes we are so fragile and needy, that adding the idea that therapy is not a terrific resource only adds to the difficulty...
and I get a little defensive about it i guess...

It can feel like people without a headache telling someone with a headache that an aspirin is unneccessary..

[Bree-asaurus]

After cross dressing my whole life, being with a boy in middle school, coming out as gay, realizing that I was not any of the people I tried so hard to be, and being too afraid to admin I was transexual, I sought the help of a very good therapist. He helped me figure myself out and work through some of my issues. He wrote the letter to get started on HRT, the letter for my gender change and just the other day, a letter for an orchi. He helped me speed along the process of finding out who I was, but since I came to that realization, I have pretty much been on my own. I started HRT with the help of a doctor, but I pretty much self medicate at this point.

So for the past year, I basically just keep in touch with my doctor and therapist so they'll be there for me when I need letters for SRS or anything else that comes up. When I went to see my therapist for my orchi letter, he said I didn't even need to come in... and when I need a letter for SRS, to just give him a call. My doctor is pretty much the same way. He tries to monitor my HRT, but I don't think he's too concerned about it and it's been very easy for me to see him and say "oh yeah... I'll do that next time."

I've been the one in total control of my transition for a year or so. That's not to say I haven't had ups and downs, but they're independent of any professional support.

[Kathryn Martin]

I completely agree with your point. All I was trying to say was that in the finding of your true nature there is no help.

I think its great to be proud of getting through transition on your own...its an incredible accomplishment!!

My pragmatic point in therapy threads is that your success with self treatment is not relevant to a person that can use therapy to proceed...
Your well deserved success is about you, its about your courage and determination....not about how helpful therapy can be..

and sometimes we are so fragile and needy, that adding the idea that therapy is not a terrific resource only adds to the difficulty...
and I get a little defensive about it i guess...

It can feel like people without a headache telling someone with a headache that an aspirin is unneccessary..

[Rianna Humble]

To Rianna & Nigella, I have a question. Is there a stigma in the UK associated with seeing therapists? I ask, because I've also noticed a few posts from other UK residents along similar lines, giving the impression that therapy in general is not necessary.

I think it is partly a case of two countries separated by a common language. On this side of the pond, I find people will talk more openly about seeing a counsellor for help, but in some circles the term therapist is associated with neuroses. When I use the term here, though, I try to use it in its generally accepted form on these forums.

Then there is also a general lack of understanding about what therapy is used for. As an example, my support group has a trained Counsellor, but I genuinely don't know what I might talk to her about - it's not that I don't believe I might need her, it's just I don't understand what for.

I'm sorry if I came across as apologising for support groups, my intent was more to point out that they are useful but not for the purpose of telling us who we are as I felt had been suggested earlier in the thread.

To be quite clear, I do believe that counselling/therapy is a good thing for anyone who can use the help and I don't believe that the fact that Nigella and I didn't make a lot of use of that facility in any way invalidates its usefulness.

I suppose that my talks both with my GP and my GIC clinician might come under the heading of therapy, but the doctors are so skilful that it doesn't feel like that (especially the GIC one where we seem to spend more time talking politics in general than talking about me).