Wife's ultimatum

[sierra_g]

Many of you have misconceptions, most are because I wasn't very clear.
My SO's mom that we live with is actually a friend of her actual mother's that took the two of them in and they all lived together for a few years in the mid 90's. Her actual mom is actually coming to visit. I like her, it should be good times. The one we live with is a religious lady, but pretty cool. She offered to let us stay here when we had nowhere else to go. We are doing better now, and although things are still tight, we could leave if we wanted, but my SO wants to take care of a few bills first.

My SO does read to the girls, does take them out to play, and we have argued quite a bit and although some days it is like pulling a mule, she has started limiting her computer time a bit more, and does help out a bit more than what I seem to have perceived below. She has attempted to go to bed earlier, and we are trying to ween her off of her Ambien and onto an herbal version so she wakes up easier.

She definitely has depression issues, and I am sure some of those are caused by her feeling of deception because she didn't marry a CD, yet here I am.
She truly does hate CD. She had friends that she would make pretty for drag shows and other events and that got to her too.

Also, we are both Christian, we both go to church almost every Sunday, and although we had church in our backgrounds, we weren't going to when we first started dating. We really didn't start going until we were married and decided we wanted to raise our kids in faith. I actually was a "youth leader support" for a couple months.

Lastly, and this was my major bad. This didn't start because I came out to her through a long talk. That did happen, but not at first. My wife searched my internet history to find a site she forgot the name of while I was camping with my dad, and found a bunch of AB fetish sites, so we fought long and hard about that. We ended up experimenting with it, but she wasn't into it and really disgusted with it. I would wear her clothes when she was gone sometimes, and find dumb excuses to wear her shoes or jacket to walk the dog, but never told her about the CD at that point. I gave the AB stuff up though. We had recently moved here, and she came out of our room and saw a 'forced CD' website. We fought a lot and she tried to accept it, but couldn't. She asked a lot of questions, and I thought that it was all about the forced aspect. We tried some stuff, but we quickly realized it wasn't about being forced as much as it was about the clothes, the attitude, the want to feel and be pretty, etc. We sought out help, and went to one therapist for a while, but the therapist got weird so we stopped going. We have been trying to accommodate CD now in different degrees for over a year. While yes, we would fight about it, it has never been as bad as it is now. We are both tired, but I am afraid she is finally done. We will see.

I re-read the entire thread from beginning to end and I think that I answered all the misconceptions with that. Sorry for not being so clear before.