Starting college as a female? Advice?

[countrygal223]

Hello all!
So I am starting college in the fall, and well they know nothing about me except all of my admission stuff. Lol. They did not ask anywhere on the application form about my gender, and no one has saw me yet. Being a home school graduate I am having to go take all of my placement test soon. My question is, what is y'alls opinion on starting a new life in college as a female? I am attending a small junior college in East Tennessee, and will be living off campus in my own apartment. My intended major is pre aerospace engineering in hopes of transferring to Middle Tennessee State University to become an air traffic controller.
Hugs,
Mia

[kimdl93]

I don't know Tennessee but I guess its better to start out there presenting as a girl rather than shifting genders after you have gotten acquainted with you professors and classmates. But once you go down that path its a full time commitment. Are you serious and ready to make it?

[STACY B]

I say dont forget your pencil ,, What the hell does it matter what you go as ? A brain is a brain so go an soak up as much education as you can ,,An get a good job an be successful ,,Dont you know that if your rich an powerful you get a free GENDER PASS !! If you dont beleave me look around ,,Only the poor ones get dogged out . If you got money people dont care what you wear ,,You can pay em to tell you your number one !

[SusanLCD]

As Kim noted, you need to be certain that you're commited to being Mia for the remainder of your life. Your records (transcripts) of classes are a requirement to complete your degree program They will be also used in the transfer to MTSU. If you enroll and attend as Mia, the degree will be awarded to Mia.

When you apply to be an air traffic controller, Mia will be the one hired, because she will have the degree that qualifies her for the job. If you're employed by ATC, the paycheck will be made out to Mia, too.

All of this (and more) is obvious to most. I'm simply pointing it out because the tone of your original message implied that you may be taking it all very lightly. ("..they know nothing about me except all of my admission stuff. Lol..) If you intend to live as Mia, making that change now would allow you to enjoy the remainder of your life the way that you prefer. But, please be certain that it isn't just a whim.

If you're not certain, I strongly suggest that you seek counseling. This step should be taken with your eyes wide open. No pink fog.

[AllieSF]

Mia, as others have said, what a great time to go full time. Now, I disagree with the others regarding going full time is a lifetime commitment. Go, try it and if you like it keep on truckin!What better place to establish a new identity, so to speak and try out the full time lifestyle with all its blessings and curses. I think that it would be wise to explain your situation to your college counselor and request that they call you by the name that you wish. You will avoid some minor embarrassments in class that way, or at least minimize them. I think that it is wonderful that you can do that and do wish you the best of luck.

[Norma_CD]

Keep in mind that when you take your placement tests, you will need to provide ID. As long as the name on your application matches the name on your ID you should be fine.

[countrygal223]

Say my ID is in male mode, but I show up in female mode, would I have a problem? My concern is letting them know I am trans and am wanting to live full time as Mia. My therapist has agreed with me that this is the right time to do it. I've gotta live as her for a year before I can get hormones anyway, so why not start now?
Huggs,
Mia

[countrygal223]

I mean it's less than that for the letter, but I personally want to live full time for a year before I start them, just to make sure I'm ready.

[Norma_CD]

They're just trying to make sure you are who you say you are. They want to make sure that you didn't send someone in your place to take the exam for you. As long as you can prove you really are you, there "shouldn't" be any problems.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Is your name legally "Mia"? If not, you will probably be addressed as your male name, and all your records will show your male name, unless all your professors are told you are trans and what they must address you as (so they don't out or embarrass you.) Of course, there is the whole restroom issue, if you are not legally female and there are laws against it you may have problems. At least a junior college will probably have a good number of adult students and you live off campus, so you shouldn't have too much trouble if you are outed compared to the more juvenile culture in a traditional college environment. (When I went to college I lived in a male dorm, in a room alone, but boy did it suck to no end; if I had been discovered it would have been difficult to escape their harassment.)

As for waiting a year before HRT, that is very sensible and I commend you for taking it slowly to make sure it is what you want. HRT should never be taken lightly.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

This used to be my fantasy growing up...

If you are for real about this, you have a lot to learn about how to do this right...its actually a good idea to start out somewhere new if you can swing it, but if you have not prepared for it, it will cause you much grief..
Comments to the contrary are uninformed at best..

also consider the little day to day reality of your birth gender...shaving for example? can you deal with not really truly passing(if one person knows everybody knows)..can you deal with rejection?
will you be physically safe?? your name will be male, what about your future? .etcetc...

all of these things can be managed..
thinking it through and doing the hard work prior to jumping into this is just being smart about something that will have a huge impact on your life..your experience can literally be devastating if you are not physically, financially, legally and emotionally prepared for it.."for real" is much more real than you may think

it would be better to work for a year, save up some money, start HRT, get some support for yourself than to head off to college and have some admin ask "what the heck are you doing?" or to have the 4th person you meet blurt out, "are you a guy?" and leave you heading back to your apartment alone.

..btw...college can be a wonderful place to learn and experiment, is there an LGBT center at the college? if so, going to see them now might be a great way to get started

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi CG, It may be a good time to talk to the admin. office about your plans.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Mia,

It would be wise to ask for this to be moved to the transsexual section where you will find the advice you are seeking.
I will address you there.


Julia

[Annie D]

I say go for it, you can always go back to your male self in the middle of the semester, after all, your male self will be more easily accepted than what you will be trying. A couple of thoughts before you attend your first class:

1. Go get a state id or driver's license dressed as Mia but use your legal name and do the same thing when you get your college id.
2. Check with administration about bathroom accommodations; Jr. Colleges have mostly commuters but let one undergrad complain and you could be cooked.
3. Dress like a the other 18-21 year old women who are attending class; jeans/shorts, t-shirts/conservative top and sandals.

Just blend in and the college community will be more than accepting. Good luck!

[gender_blender]

Just express yourself any way you want. Colleges are usually quite liberal and supportive when it comes to GLBT issues, so do it. They might even allow you to register as female. I started college as a boy and left 5 years later full time female and sister of a liberal sorority on campus. Use your head to remain aware of your surroundings and find a support group on campus.

[xdressed]

If you ever gonna go for it, this sounds like the perfect time

[Nicole Erin]

The first impression people get when they meet you tends to be the one that sticks. If you start as male and try to go as a woman later, there will be more problems than if you just start going as a woman from day one.

If people are introduced to you by your male name, that will be the one that sticks. Make sure they know "Mia" first and it is best to not tell anyone your male name unless you really have to. If people learn of the male name, they might "accidently" call you by it but then "correct" themselves by saying "Mia".

If you do not pass, you should still start living as a woman if that is what you want. You have to start somewhere. Most passable TS out there didn't just walk out of the house one day looking perfect.

Some people will have a problem with you being TS but here is the thing - for each person who does not approve, there will be another person who has no issues with it and may even find you interesting and you could build friendships. When one transitions - they are not left with no social circle, but it does change. Some old friends leave, some new ones come along so it evens out.

Finally, yeah, living as a woman (pass or not) is a lot of upkeep. You have to make sure your hair, makeup, outfit, etc looks good each day and trust me, some days you will not feel like going thru the hassle but still have to. You will have an image to uphold.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I guess i will amend my answer a bit..i kind of read into the OP a high expectation of being accepted as and treated as just one of the new girls on campus..

i wholeheartedly agree that starting off as the campus ts or gender queer is pretty good way to be if you are sure that is your direction in life..

and you can achieve this by just presenting however you desire, and forgetting the labels...

[Karren H]

Imho.... I'd seriously think about why your in college.... Before making that decision... If your there to crossdress, waste your parents money, have a good time...... Work at McDonalds when you graduate then do what ever you want. It doesn't matter.... If your there to get an education and then carrier that you can make a living at..... Be very careful what you do because perspective employers will be checking into that for sure.... Just sayin....

[Barbara Ella]

I will agree with Julia that those going through this process are best situated to provide first hand inputs. But the concerns raised here are valid. You seem to be prepared for this mentally. You really need to take care of the physical situations, go to the campus, visit the various centers or clubs, see what support is there. What is the atmosphere for this if you are found out, and you will be. What are the renting policies in the city where you will live, is it TG friendly, or can the landlord dump your butt. I don't know Tennessee, but you need to learn very quickly. Perhaps when you go to take tests, if you go en femme, you can take a letter from your therapist that you are transgendered, and feel more comfortable testing while dressed. This could be an ADA (Americans with Disability Act) concern, and they must let you test in the manner you are most comfortable. Check it out, it is going to be your life.

This is a very high maintenance activity, and I hope your study and academic habits are up to the competition for your time. Final word is yours. All I can say is if it feels right you need to make it happen for as long as it can.

Barbara

[countrygal223]

The way I see it, I'm working my butt off to pay for college. I have very little help from the parents. Seeing as though I'm going to college for my self betterment, I feel like I should be comfortable in my own skin. I've considered all the work required in living as a full time female. It may be hard, yes, but I'm tired of living in the wrong body. Before I actually start classes I plan on talking to my counselor and explaining my situation to her. The school has a LGBT group and I plan on joining that. Thanks everyone for your advice. I think I'll start off my college career as a female. I'll keep you informed on how it goes.
Huggs,
Mia