It's a sad morning. Purged again. All those pretty things. All gone.
I chose them so carefully. Picked to flatter a 5'9" girl with no boobs. I looked good. You should have seen me! But you didn't. That's just the point. Nobody did.
Why am I writing? To tell all of you how much I love you and admire you. And I hope you still love me too. Don't be angry.
The last time I purged was 1995. I stayed away eight years. March '03, I was back. I bought three pairs of panties at Target. So wonderful.
I accomplished so much this time. I shaved my legs. I shaved my underarms. I learned to used makeup. Badly, I think. But who can say? No one saw.
I could not come out. I tried. Three years ago I was in San Francisco. I found a place that does makeovers and nights out. Maybe some of you know it. I just couldn't make the call for an appointment. Just couldn't do it.
I couldn't come out and I can't hide any more.
It's my birthday today. My boy-birthday. My real birthday I count from the first time I dressed. It was in January. I was eight years old.
I know better than to say never again. That's not how it works for us. I am still a girl, my sweet lovely friends. Nothing can change that. Love me, too, and try not to judge, even today.
As always I remain,
Sincerely yours,
miche-miche