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  1. #26
    Member CloserthanthisGG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DCChris View Post
    I can appreciate the fact there is a HUGE variation in how ggs look at CDs. And I genuinely understand most of the reasons in those variations. My question is really posed to any gg here who is actually attracted to someone who CDs. Why are you attracted? What is it about someone who CDs that draws you toward them, rather than just simple acceptance of someone who might be in your life? And if you don't mind, does your age make any difference; are you generally younger in age? Thanks so much in advance.
    I am 35 and my SO is 39. We met when I was 17 and he was 21. I am attracted to men who CD. I always have been. I have tried to convince anyone I've ever been with to wear my clothes and there have been successes and failures in that area in my past. But this is the first time I've actually been with a CDer. And what's weird is that we've been together twice before and he never told me. But I'm very glad he did. It's not that I am "okay with CDing". I am attracted to it.

    Lisia lives with me now, but is travelling a lot for work right now, and this weekend and I really rather sad and disappointed by this. It's pouring down rain, and the only reason I didn't drive to Dallas to be with my SO this weekend is because we have to sick pets. And the rain just makes me more lonely, so I thought I would come on here because I haven't in forever...

    But my point was, for a while there, I was coming home from work, and Lisia would have been looking for a job all day, but when I got home, he would be all dressed up for me. My closet is entirely open for the pickin's and Lisia would try to keep me guessing... and it made me feel very special. I'd walk in and there would be my 'lady' with a glass of wine in hand for me after a long day, just standing there wearing heels, and stockings and long hair and a miniskirt with an open mouth full of wine flavoured kisses. I've said things like this before on here and people have thought that this was something that I was making him do or that there was something twisted about our relationship because I liked it so much , because I have openly voiced that I LOVE seeing him dress like this, but no, this was all just a fun thing he was coming up with to do for me. Ohhhhhh he was just always sooo pleased to see my reactions.

    Here is the direct answer to the question though, that was indirectly answered in my previous paragraph. It's because of the effort. It's because of the interest in BEING attractive. It's because of the vulnerability. It's because of the hips and the softness, and the hair, and the lips and the taste. It's because of the things I say sometimes casually about something feminine like how I put on mascara or something and then get an honest and interested response like "Oooohhhh, that's why you do this first" or something. It's the interest.

    But also, I think maybe it's because my father is also a crossdresser.


  2. #27
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    I’d love to ask a question to the GG’s. This question goes to the GG’s who’s CD SO, dresses all the way completely with make up, wig, bra, forms, panties, hosiery, garters, perfume, skirts, blouses, heels, jewelry, etc. How many of you will make love to her when she is dressed to the nines, and which of you would not make love to her if she is full en femme, and why??

    For those that do, does it add some excitement to it, or do you comply for her sake?
    L&R……Tara

  3. #28
    ADMINISTRATOR Sandra's Avatar
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    Hope I can answer even though Nigella is TS

    Quote Originally Posted by Tara-mxy View Post
    How many of you will make love to her when she is dressed to the nines,
    Me

    Quote Originally Posted by Tara-mxy View Post
    For those that do, does it add some excitement to it,
    Yes
    Quote Originally Posted by Tara-mxy View Post
    or do you comply for her sake?
    No

    Well you didn't expect me to go into detail
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  4. #29
    Silver Member Babeba's Avatar
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    Tara,

    Everyone is an individual and will have their own reasons for doing things. I won't get into specific details, but I am very much attracted to Crystal no matter what she (or he) is wearing. I just love every fiber of that whole person so much -'warts and all,' just like Cromwell - that it transcends gender and outward expression of gender has become in and of itself another activity we share that is all the more special because we do it together. We took our time together and talked about every last little thing so we completely agreed on everything we have done and are all the more close together because of it.

  5. #30
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    I do.

    I don't see her or him as two "separate" people, s/he is the same person with different facets, different moods, just like everyone else. Would I only make love to my SO if she was only in one mood? No. lol

    Edit - No one wants to be made love to out of their partner's sense of "having to comply". Ick.
    Last edited by ReineD; 05-12-2012 at 12:33 PM.
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  6. #31
    Member CloserthanthisGG's Avatar
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    I do, and it adds excitement, yes. But I can't get into it if I'm not 'dressed to the nines' as well. If he's just hanging around in like some purple velvet Juicy Couture looking sweatpants and forms/bra and slippers and maybe some light makeup, and I'm in the same, then sure. But if we're talking 'to the nines', then I would feel outclassed if i hadn't shaved my legs and wearing something nice to start off with. I wouldn't feel as sexy. I have to feel sexy too. Very important.

  7. #32
    wishing on a star! Rebecca Star's Avatar
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    Question if I may?

    All of my long term partners have all been cool with my CDing. One in particular when I was 24, she was 21, really got into not only buying me clothes but a similar situation to what CloserThanThisGG expressed. She also enjoyed the sex too, which, was always better when dressed - Lisa was a very openminded girl.

    My SO now, while she's supportive and all that jazz, and yes we have done it with me en femme, it's not exactly her cuppa tea. Like many stockings, lingerie and heels flick my buttons. The actual act of intercourse, well that's not specially a deal breaker for me. I do however really enjoy the feel of my nylons legs etc...etc rubbing up against her's... I wont go into details, I think that's enough to draw a picture.

    I'd never want her doing it with me for the sake of it. But this need to fill that void is become increasingly addictive. I don't know if there is something I haven't said or something I could say that maybe blocking this from happening. Maybe it's just not going to ever happen again.

    However just asking the question as to how I could possibly proach the subject and in turn see if it's a possibilty or a definite 'no go zone', is something I think I need to do.

    While I respect her views and feelings, I just feel unfulfilled

    So I would appreciate any feedback from the GG's here to ways in which I could approach things for this issue?
    Last edited by Sandra; 05-14-2012 at 01:34 PM. Reason: Any discussion of sex toys is not permitted, read the rules please
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  8. #33
    GG WifeofWrenchette's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tara-mxy View Post
    I’d love to ask a question to the GG’s. This question goes to the GG’s who’s CD SO, dresses all the way completely with make up, wig, bra, forms, panties, hosiery, garters, perfume, skirts, blouses, heels, jewelry, etc. How many of you will make love to her when she is dressed to the nines, and which of you would not make love to her if she is full en
    femme, and why??

    For those that do, does it add some excitement to it, or do you comply for her sake?
    L&R……Tara
    Yes we do make love while she's enfemme.

    For me it doesn't add excitement, but I'm not doing to "comply" either. I simply see it as something that turns her on and then in turn that makes me happy, if that makes any sense?

  9. #34
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebecca Star View Post
    However just asking the question as to how I could possibly broach the subject and in turn see if it's a possibilty or a definite 'no go zone', is something I think I need to do.

    While I respect her views and feelings, I just feel unfulfilled

    So I would appreciate any feedback from the GG's here to ways in which I could approach things for this issue?
    First, I want to say that earlier in your post, you mentioned a past girlfriend who was open minded. I just want to mention there is a difference in sexual attitudes between someone who is young and not in a committed relationship with a boyfriend (she sees the CDing as a fun "kink"), and someone in a long term relationship who understands more about it even if only at the subconscious level. This is why so many wives go for it in the beginning but then after some years get "turned off". They come to believe (through perhaps a lack of communication with their husbands ... added to the difficulty for any CDer to communicate how a cross-gender identity affects his sexuality), that their role as the women in their relationships is threatened. Not everyone feels this way, but it is common. Also, there are some women who do get turned off from having sex with someone who is feminine.

    So ... I'm afraid your only recourse with your wife is to ask her what specifically turns her off about the idea of you wearing feminine apparel to bed. If any of her objections have to do with not liking her man to be feminine, there's not much else you can do other than to say you are not feminine, you do identify solidly as a male, and this to you is just a kink (if indeed you do feel this way. Don't lie if you don't). Still, if she is genuinely turned off by this there is not much you can do to change her own sexual preferences. Some women simply don't like to take on a man's role in bed (referring to the part of your post that was edited). This simply does not fit into their own definitions of themselves.
    Last edited by ReineD; 05-15-2012 at 12:58 PM.
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  10. #35
    Silver Member Babeba's Avatar
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    Sexuality is definitely something different from gender, yet related... I for one am not too comfortable with the sort of role play that I think you were getting at that was edited out, but many people are. I think you have to remember that there is a reason your ex, Lisa, is an ex... And that there is also a reason you are with your current SO. A relationship isn't all about sex. Pressuring your partner to do things she is clearly not into isn't respect.

    As for filling the void, what 'need' exactly is it that is not being filled? Is it purely physical, or is there a mental component? Is there a way other than with sex that you can fulfill that mental need?

  11. #36
    Junior Member susiepaul's Avatar
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    to all GG's

    have you ever thought that your SO was better dressed than you were and what did you feel about it?

    regards Paulie
    just wear what you like and like what you wear

  12. #37
    GG WifeofWrenchette's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by susiepaul View Post
    to all GG's

    have you ever thought that your SO was better dressed than you were and what did you feel about it?

    regards Paulie
    she definitely dresses better than me enfemme. Actually, even in drab he dresses better. I just don't care about clothes. I have 1/10th of the closet and he/she has 9/10th. I have two pair of shoes. he/she has dozens.

    To me clothes just aren't that important. They are to cover my body and that's it. they are very important to him/her though so I respect that.
    Define "normal"

  13. #38
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by susiepaul View Post
    have you ever thought that your SO was better dressed than you were and what did you feel about it?
    My SO consistently is better dressed and has nicer jewelry & shoes than I do. Also, my SO has the appearance of having a curvier figure than I do with the breast forms, waist cincher, and hip/bottom pads. How do I feel about this? It's a question of financial resources, I just don't have the same resources, and so it becomes a question of priorities for me. I don't buy much, but what I buy is nice ... I just wear the things a lot. I've read multiple posts in this forum from CDers who feel their wives are jealous of them because they are so pretty. I don't think that having more money to buy nice things, or making this a priority, makes anyone prettier or more feminine.

    As to the breast forms and the hip pads, I suppose if I wanted a curvier figure, I could get my own.
    Last edited by ReineD; 05-20-2012 at 03:53 PM. Reason: Removed one smilie and added another.
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  14. #39
    Aspiring Member Silentpartner GG SO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by susiepaul View Post
    to all GG's

    have you ever thought that your SO was better dressed than you were and what did you feel about it?

    regards Paulie
    not really, my SO doesnt have the body for female clothes - and she doesnt have any clothes that I would be likely to wear. We have different tastes.
    I would echo Wrenchette's answer - I am not really into clothes in a big way - we dont really have a social life as such so smart 'going out' clothes would be a total waste of money for me. The only time I get to dress up is when we go on holiday - then I enjoy gettingdolled up for dinner/bar.

  15. #40
    ADMINISTRATOR Sandra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by susiepaul View Post
    to all GG's

    have you ever thought that your SO was better dressed than you were and what did you feel about it?

    regards Paulie
    No I have never thought that. There have been times when we have been going out for the night and I have commented on how nice she looked, but not once have I thought she was better dressed than me.
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  16. #41
    Silver Member Babeba's Avatar
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    I think that Crystal looks super duper pretty all dolled up! If I think that I am not dressed to the level she is - well, rhat's what my closet (or my overnight bag) is for! It's not a competition, it's about having fun.

    If I felt like crystal was spending money she did not have on femme stuff, or money that should be better spent on things to build our life together - we may have had to have a couple of talks about it to get me to see what her plans are. However, she is realistic about what she wants to Spend money on, and has her finances quite well in hand so it is none of my business to worry about her financial well being.

  17. #42
    The Lurking GG Stitch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BRANDYJ View Post
    So now, feeling honored to ask the first question: I wonder if most of the GG's feel they get as much help and support from us CD's as they do from their own FAB section?
    And am I right to assume that most GG's prefer the LOVED ONES section to other Forum categories ? ( as I do)
    I do love the FAB forum, as the ladies in there really helped me wrap my head round some stuff really early on in my relationship.
    As for the other forums. I'm a lurker, so I read many different areas of the forum. I actually quite like the young person forum, although I haven't posted much and I've only a few months left. It's nice to hear from people from my generation.


    Quote Originally Posted by LaurenB View Post
    . So: would you feel insecure or jealous or whatever if it were you? I do talk to her about it. Only she knows me in a complete vulnerable way and I couldn't imagine that with anyone else. Thoughts?
    I encourage my boyfriend to indulge in group meetings with people who share his interests. He regularly meets a book club and loves discussing things with them. It's a mix gender group. I'm completely happy with him joining a group because he wanted to chat about his interest with people who share it, but if it was just to hang out with women, even in just a "friends" setting I then would be jealous. Now I tend to get on with men better than women, in the same way you get on better with women rather than men, and a lot of my hobbies are quite male orientated. Like Computer games and such. If I said to my boyfriend I'm joining this gaming group because I want to talk to men as I get on better with them even as friends, I think he'd be a bit jealous too. If I said that I was joining because of the subject matter I doubt he'd batter an eyelid.

    Two outcomes to the same situation and it all steams from the motive behind the wanting to go to the group.


    Quote Originally Posted by Roberta Lynn View Post
    How do you 'see' your SO? Is she a different person? Woman? girlfriend? Guy with a rather unusual hobby?


    I see him as a man with a need to express a certain part of himself. I totally get that as I can draw parallels in my own mind and body which feel the need and want to do things even though its is outside the social norm.


    Quote Originally Posted by DCChris View Post
    My question is really posed to any gg here who is actually attracted to someone who CDs. Why are you attracted? What is it about someone who CDs that draws you toward them, rather than just simple acceptance of someone who might be in your life? And if you don't mind, does your age make any difference; are you generally younger in age? Thanks so much in advance.
    I’m a “Younger GG” age 25 and he is in his 30s. I’m attracted to my boyfriend as he is pretty much the whole package (albeit with extras lol!) He is attractive, sweet, kind and generous. I could go on but all my sappiness will end up making someone sick. Haha. Basically I love him, because he is him.
    I’ve realised over the years I’m pretty indifferent to his CDing, granted it has taken awhile and if he was “out” in our community it would be completely different story. However crossdressing is just a part of who he is. I help him pick outfits when he goes away to dress, and I tidy his wigs and stuff, (and maybe sneak them on a dance in front of the mirror) but in reality I don’t really care either way. If he wasn’t or was a CDer, it doesn’t matter to me. If he dressed in public closer to home and was “out” admittedly I would find that very hard.


    I'm breaking this up into chunks as I'm a tad late to this thread.


    Quote Originally Posted by adrienner99 View Post
    GGs - Ever been a Belle of the Ball?
    I missed all my “Proms” and stuff because I housebound with illness for several years. So I’ve never had the chance to dress up. It’s a little sad, but not the end of the world.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tara-mxy View Post
    For those that do, does it add some excitement to it, or do you comply for her sake?
    I’m a GG who doesn’t. I won’t when he is dressed up as his “femme side” we tried it a few times and even though I know he is the same person no matter what, all the clothes and stuff really throw me, especially the wig as it's cold and it doesn’t smell like him. I like to run my hands through his hair and kiss his face, so the wig just really gets in the way for me. The whole femme dress thing me feel like I’m cheating on him and makes me feel really uncomfortable.

    I like to touch him as a man, and feel and see him react like a man. I don’t mind the odd piece of femme clothing, as it can really add to it. But I want him. I want to see him and smell him.
    We have a lot of fun, and are very varied but I do draw the line at full dress. Thankfully I think he is on the same page as me as sexy time is naked time.


    Quote Originally Posted by susiepaul View Post
    to all GG's have you ever thought that your SO was better dressed than you were and what did you feel about it? regards Paulie
    I have never thought that, not enfemme anyway. He looks amazing in a suit though, and as a man looks gorgeous!
    But his femme side, no so much. I’m very lucky as I look cute even in scruffy clothes, and have really nice skin so I can go without makeup. When I do bother to dress up, I look pretty damn good.
    Last edited by Nigella; 05-21-2012 at 01:30 PM. Reason: merged posts
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  18. #43
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    When the pink fog becomes a pea souper, where is your happy place that you go to?
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  19. #44
    Member CloserthanthisGG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nigella View Post
    When the pink fog becomes a pea souper, where is your happy place that you go to?
    Right there in the thick of it. Or going shopping together find pretty accessories to add to the fog like hair clips or nail polish. Especially now that Lisia is waaay more comfortable with me knowing than at first. I think it may have even wierded out my SO how not bothered and not weirded out I was to know. And how natural it was.

  20. #45
    ADMINISTRATOR Sandra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nigella View Post
    When the pink fog becomes a pea souper, where is your happy place that you go to?
    You didn't have much of the pink fog so it never became a pea souper...but if it did happen then I'd just turn myself off, but if it got really out of control then you would know about it.
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  21. #46
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  22. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nigella View Post
    When the pink fog becomes a pea souper, where is your happy place that you go to?
    I don't think my partner really pink fogs at all. He is fairly grounded in reality, so much so he actually helps keeping me grounded me when I'm about to fly off in my own little world of what ifs. I have the more obsessive personality out of us.

    I would think that while Pink Fog is pretty much a term that goes with Crossdressing, it could be applied to other things too right? I tend to get obsessed with my own hobbies to the point I don't stop talking about them for weeks at a time. Any spare time I get will go towards that hobby until I burn myself out or find something new to fixate over instead. It may be a project I'm working on, a computer game I've been playing, a new gadget I want to buy or a series on the TV.

    My poor boyfriend just smiles and nodds. He really is a saint lol. I think I'll go find him and give him a hug.
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  23. #48
    mom's "daughter" KarenNY's Avatar
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    Here's a question if I may ask the married GG's on the forum... and I don't know how many of you are married, but it has to do with weddings. How many of you would have been (or would be) OK with your SO wanting to be the bride in your wedding, or *a* bride if you were to do a "double-bride" wedding? Would you feel your SO is competing with you or intruding in an area that should not be encroached upon, would you be OK with it as an expression of your mutual love and understanding, or would you be more comfortable with a separate wedding ceremony where your SO can enjoy the thrill of being the bride?
    I had a GG girlfriend back in college who was thrilled about my CDing and enjoyed helping me dress and going out and about with me. We talked marriage, although we never did discuss our wedding in terms of my CDing, and sadly she broke up with me after more than a year of dating (and partly because I was CDing more and more often; for her, the novelty had apparently worn off). My own mock wedding was just after college and a couple of years before I met my wife, but was with a male groom.
    "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes..."

  24. #49
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    The issue with double brides is that some couples aren't out to absolutely everyone in their lives. Transsexuals are out by need, but not CDers. So if we were to get married with all and sundry invited, neither one of us would want a double bride wedding.

    I would, however, think it would be great fun to have such a ceremony privately. I would not feel as if my SO was encroaching on my turf at all.
    Reine

  25. #50
    Member CloserthanthisGG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KarenNY View Post
    How many of you would have been (or would be) OK with your SO wanting to be the bride in your wedding, or *a* bride if you were to do a "double-bride" wedding? Would you feel your SO is competing with you or intruding in an area that should not be encroached upon, would you be OK with it as an expression of your mutual love and understanding, or would you be more comfortable with a separate wedding ceremony where your SO can enjoy the thrill of being the bride?
    This is such a... what's the word I am looking for...? whatever the word that means "time appropriate question" for me because I was just looking at wedding dresses today.

    I want to post separately with pics of what we have agreed to do because I want to know what everyone thinks, if it is something that anyone else would do, etc. Feedback.

    But to answer your question, so long as we weren't wearing the same dress, and we both looked gorgeous, I would be cool with it. But I would never wear a tux. But that's not what we're going to do exactly, but we're both going to be wearing what I would consider beautiful and ornate.

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