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  1. #501
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    I have owned uncomfortable bras that I looked forward to taking off ... some were too tight around the torso, some had underwires and pinched on the side, some were made of stiff lace-like material with no give, some had padding in the wrong places. I didn't wear these bras much.

    For the most part, my bras are comfortable and well-fitting and so I don't really notice when I have them on ... unless it is scorching hot outside, in which case not wearing a bra is cooler.

    I have a friend who hates all manner of bras. She also hates to wear shoes, her feet feel constrained and heavy in them, and she prefers loose, light clothing. She grew up in a hot climate so I guess it all depends on what a person is accustomed to.

    Edit - sorry I forgot. I don't spend any time in the morning choosing a bra. My bras are similar and at any given time, I own no more than a few of them. The only consideration is to not wear a dark bra under light tops.
    Last edited by ReineD; 12-22-2015 at 06:15 PM.
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  2. #502
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    I want my wife to meet Kelly but not sure how much she wants to see? Do you think it should full dress with makeup and wig or just dress. I rarely do full makeup and wig. I am just worried if it's just dress it will just look like me in a dress and shock her?

  3. #503
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    Kelly, you need to ask your wife. Everyone is different. Ask her if she wants to first see a picture of how you present normally.

    In my experience, rare is the woman who will want her husband to look more feminine than he is inclined to, unless they are both going out in public together and he looks obviously like a male who is wearing a dress, which garners too much immediate attention and makes the experience awkward. On the other hand, some wives do feel awkward seeing their husbands just wear a dress. It all depends on what they think of the CDing to begin with. So, you should most definitely ask her.
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  4. #504
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    Thank you Reine!

  5. #505
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jeanine38 View Post
    Hello ladies-

    My question is one of the overall experience of being female day-to-day. I hear a lot of women say they can't stand wearing bras, and you'll see in the forums here that most of us love them because of the connection to femininity. One of my friends believes that a bra is one of the least feminine parts of her wardrobe because they are not comfortable to her.

    What are the like to wear when you have your own breasts supported? Is it more comfortable with or without? How much thought goes into selecting a bra each morning?
    I think you need them when going out to look put together but it's the first thing I take off when I get home...... And it takes like one sec to pick which one depends on strapless and or light or dark clothing

    Quote Originally Posted by Kelly63 View Post
    I want my wife to meet Kelly but not sure how much she wants to see? Do you think it should full dress with makeup and wig or just dress. I rarely do full makeup and wig. I am just worried if it's just dress it will just look like me in a dress and shock her?
    Why don't you just ask her? We would have no idea how much you have explained to her and her take on it. Please do not just ta da show up dressed and ask her if she would prefer to meet Kelly with makeup ect Or maybe ask her if she would rather see a picture first. Good luck but please talk to your wife ... What another Gg might think might not be what your wife will think ... Everyone's different and like I said ... We have no idea all the discussions you've had about this till now and her feeling on it. Wish you well
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  6. #506
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    First of all thank you for your input here it's a treasure. As a way to provide context for my question, I wil share that I've been out to my spouse for 4 years now she found.out after 10 yrs of marrage by finding aink to this site left up on the pc. ) but in a dadt mode of communication, which I hate. I dress every week but only when she's out and the kids are at school (I work from.home). So she knows I dress.then but mostly a bit of make up, or a panty/ bra set mostly due to time constraints. My main question is this ....she still fears I'm gay or will some day wish to transition.and so I think she feels that if she doesn't discuss the topic it will either go away or she at least."would be encouraging it". I've reassured her, we go to couples .and gender conselng and even the therapist has tried to eeassure her but to no avail. She has in some ways become more willing to acknowledge my need to dress but still only brings it up if I purchase something or someth8ing else brings it up. I so want is to be more at ease about it. Would love for instance to be able to say make a fashion comment on someone on say the bachelor show's fashion but i guess bc i've never done it before she's put off by it. Just hate the ackwardness of it all. So do I.bring it up.more? Or just deal.with this being the way it is? Im therapy I've been encouraged to be more self accepting but it's hard to let my gaurd down for fear it makes her uncomfortable.

    Thanks,

    Amanda
    Last edited by cdtraveler; 01-11-2016 at 10:04 PM.

  7. #507
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    Quote Originally Posted by cardigansissy View Post
    I like to be as feminine as I can in everything. Except sex. I'm straight. I like needlearts, girlie movies, even stereotypical stuff like housework. I'd like to have some online gg friends who I could correspond with regularly. So basically my question is would any of you like to write, and also, does anybody know where I could put an ad to find woman who like that I crossdress? I'm even thinking about normal dating sites, but nearly everything seems to be location specific, and I only want to do online for now. I've also thought about penpal sites but haven't found any decent ones. I can't crossdress as often as I'd like as my wife is not keen on the idea. Please let me know, it gets kinda lonely always hiding it.
    Haha well I hate housework... and I'm not extremely feminine, but I'm a gg who would love to chat with you! Since I just joined, I can't private message you, so I hope you see this!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by jeanine38 View Post
    Hello ladies-

    My question is one of the overall experience of being female day-to-day. I hear a lot of women say they can't stand wearing bras, and you'll see in the forums here that most of us love them because of the connection to femininity. One of my friends believes that a bra is one of the least feminine parts of her wardrobe because they are not comfortable to her.

    What are the like to wear when you have your own breasts supported? Is it more comfortable with or without? How much thought goes into selecting a bra each morning?
    I can definitely see it being a "the grass is always greener" kind of thing! For myself, I only wear bras when leaving the house, once I'm home the bra is gone (and so are my pants!) For the day-to-day, it's kind of a necessity I don't think much about. Unfortunately I'm self conscious about the shape and placement of my breasts so I really only ever feel any pride and confidence in how they look when I'm wearing a good bra. So I get very uncomfortable for most people to see me without wearing one. I wish I had nicer boobs, but, what can you do...
    As far as the comfort/discomfort of bras, there are definitely some factors that go into play there. As a 46C/D, I think I'm more likely to have comfort problems than thinner women and women with smaller breasts might. Issues with the band being too tight, underwires jabbing into your arms (which means your cup size is too big), underwires jabbing into your belly if you've got one... I always have to pull my straps back up... and I'm too lazy to wash them often enough so I have a ton of them and those babies can be expensive and then they get all worn out... haha.
    Once in a while though, on a good day, if I'm wearing a low-cut top and a good bra, I have some boob pride and it does affect my feeling of confidence and my connection to my femininity. I certainly am happy I have larger breasts, especially being overweight, so I have no shame when my smaller-breasted friends jokingly wear my bras as hats (ahh college!) or leaving them out where people can see them.
    It's funny when I finally started dating men, and I found out that they didn't really care at all about what I wore for a bra... they appreciated what they could see during the day for cleavage and if they were getting my shirt off, they just wanted the bra gone too, haha. So after shopping for cute bras and stuff and then finding out really.. you're shopping for yourself... pick something that fits right, and that YOU like and that's all that matters! I'm sure there are guys (and women) out there who DO like to stop and admire a girl's bra (I do!), a lot of guys really don't care! :-p
    As far as picking it out in the morning? 1) is it clean? 2) will it show through whatever shirt I'm wearing? Then again, my effort for picking out ANY clothes in the morning is 1) is it clean? OK, good enough. I'm very low maintenance...
    I don't know if that was at all helpful.... hopefully?? :-/

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ninna View Post
    For all GG, well I have a rare feeling, maybe is normal in hetero crossdressers, I get excited when I feel more feminine that a GG, I love change rolls, you know like the fact that I like to think that a GG is more masculine that I.
    its not she needs to be very masculine, I mean she can be a normal femenine GG but I get excited that even then Im more femenine, more delicade.
    Once In a fight with mi ex girldfried she tell me: you're like the girl in the relacionship! Obviosly she want to ofend, but I get so excited!! What do you think GG????
    Haha oh my goodness! I get so jealous (playfully, not seriously) when men are prettier than me!! So many people here are more feminine than I am! So I'd love to think by just being myself it would make someone feel more confident if they feel more feminine than I am! With all the effort that so many people put into it, and how important it is to them? Hell yes, be proud of yourself!! And it's also not too much for ANYONE to ask, CD or not, to feel that their partner is taking care of them, doting on them, treating them like a "lady", everyone deserves to be someone's treasure!

  8. #508
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    Quote Originally Posted by cdtraveler View Post
    I so want is to be more at ease about it.
    You can't make a wife become more at ease with the CDing if she disapproves. Comfort levels only improve in time, with lots of open and honest communication. You should tell her that you would like to discuss fashion with her and ask her opinions, and ask if she minds acknowledging this is an interest that you would like to discuss. Hopefully, eventually she will see that it's about fashion for you and not about wanting to transition or dating men.

    But, a word of warning. If your wife is not in the habit of commenting on other people's fashions with her female friends (if these things are not a priority for her), then it is not likely she will enjoy these conversations with you. Also, if you do begin to feel more comfortable discussing other people's fashion choices and making comments about whether or not you would wear this or that outfit, be careful to not overdo it lest your wife get the impression that's all you think about. There's nothing wrong with thinking about outfits occasionally, but women whose lives revolve around looks, fashion, hair styles, etc, do give the impression they are rather shallow.

    You might instead ask your wife if she would look at women's clothing catalogs with you sometimes so you can both discuss your likes and dislikes, maybe once every few weeks. Most GGs past the tender ages don't allocate a large chunk of time thinking about their looks and fashion choices. We shop when we need stuff and then we forget about it. When I'm out doing day-to-day stuff or even when I'm at a nice restaurant where women are dressed up, it simply doesn't occur to me to look at what another woman wears critically. If you asked me when I got home what that woman ahead of me in the check-out line was wearing, or the woman who sat at the next table in the restaurant, I honestly would not be able to give you an answer. lol.
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  9. #509
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    Here's silly question for you all. It's about dress sizes but not about how whacky they are, we all know this.

    I am typically a regular 12 but I am losing weight for race season and now pretty much fit into a 10 most of the time. But, in some of my favorite designers, it seems like 8 is their "largest" size. 8! I don't think the world is getting smaller but do some designers kind of say "screw you" to the larger crowd? I never thought 12 was "big" let alone 10 but can the average woman possibly be a 4 or 6?!?! It really pisses me off.

    I am curious how you feel when you see a dress you like but come to learn it is not available in your size, anywhere. Do you write it off to "who gives a crap" or do you think some designers are unrealistic?

  10. #510
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    honey since i am in the usa i feel so out of norm, my shoes are out of norm, my dress sizes are out of norm, in germany i was the damn norm. anyway very often the problem is these small sizes (and yes some women fit into it) are sometimes left overs, since all the normal sizes are sold out. i just say well, guess they dont get my money, there loss. but personally i am not very much into designer stuff.

  11. #511
    Aspiring Member Silentpartner GG SO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    Here's silly question for you all. It's about dress sizes but not about how whacky they are, we all know this.

    I am typically a regular 12 but I am losing weight for race season and now pretty much fit into a 10 most of the time. But, in some of my favorite designers, it seems like 8 is their "largest" size. 8! I don't think the world is getting smaller but do some designers kind of say "screw you" to the larger crowd? I never thought 12 was "big" let alone 10 but can the average woman possibly be a 4 or 6?!?! It really pisses me off.

    I am curious how you feel when you see a dress you like but come to learn it is not available in your size, anywhere. Do you write it off to "who gives a crap" or do you think some designers are unrealistic?
    I would be pretty affronted that designers didnt want anyone fatter than a stick insect wearing their rotten clothes! If that's their attitude l wouldnt want to give them their money.

  12. #512
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    I've noticed the same. Designer clothes tend to run 0 to 8 or 10, while regular clothes run 6 to 14 or 16.

    I always took it this was a marketing ploy. Someone who fits into a 12 or 14 might be so thrilled that a designer dress size 8 will fit her, that she'll buy it! lol. I'm several sizes smaller in designer clothing than I am in stuff you get at Macy's. A few years ago I ordered some higher end clothing size 8 (which I thought was my size) online at a 70% off sale. They were all too big!

    Jen, I'd just go to the stores and try them on, if you're looking at these clothes online.

    I agree with Nashmau. Euro sizing works best, just like men's sizes ... by actual measurement, not an arbitrary "size" number.

    Edit - another thing ... the "missy" sizes tend to not get up there in sizes, presumably because younger girls still have their girlish bodies. I have a hard time finding jeans in the missy department. Most of the sizes on the racks are too small.
    Last edited by ReineD; 01-30-2016 at 04:06 AM.
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  13. #513
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    So girls, help me out. My high heel experience is painful. I am talking about heels 3 inches and taller. The latest to cause a problem were almost 4.5 to 5 inches depending on how you measure them. I think they fit fine. I don't notice any rubbing or have red spots on my feet when I remove them, but the balls of my feet just kill me after a little bit of walking. Is that just the bone structure of the foot needing to get used to the physics of walking that way? I see many of you ladies walking successfully in high heels so I wonder. Of course the older ladies don't seem to wear them, so is it just a young girls game? I am not really heavy by the way at 5'11 and 155. Thoughts?

  14. #514
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    a lot goes into that. how is your footstructure, bones and tendons and muscles.

    I for example cant wear anything higher then 1 cm, because i broke my middlebones 2 times, i had 19 injuries on my right ankle and 2 injuries to my tendons.

    So any injuries on your side? an other thing is, that our feet usually try to roll out when we walk, we do try that in heals too, problem is, cant do that with high heels. that in return will hurt. basicly in heels you have to walk differently. watch younger girls in high heels, they usually look like deers, it takes time to figure out how to walk in them.

    and an other tip, my mother used inlays for shoes, which seemed helpful to her.

  15. #515
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    no real injuries though I did have foot surgery about 8 months go. I think part of the issue, as someone reminded me, is that the shoes need to be broken in before they will be truly comfortable. I also put in a couple of cushion insoles and we will see how those work. Thanks!

  16. #516
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    Like Nashmau says, some people have foot structures that enable them to wear high heels, and some don't. Lots of women (even young ones) choose low heels or flats.

    Insoles or non-slip pads under the ball of your feet are a good idea. You might need to go a half-size bigger if you do this, you don't want the shoe to be too tight. If that doesn't work, you'll need to settle for lower heels.

    Heels of a modest height (or no height at all) are supposed to be healthier for your back anyway, and so if you do decide to ignore the pain and continue to wear them, try to not wear them often or for a long periods of time. There are lots of cute shoes with a more modest heel.
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  17. #517
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    I wore heels prob every day ( work )and now more kitten heels or cute flats because of a accident and back injury)
    But I remember when my daughters started wearing heels I started them out in the kitten heels and worked up from there.
    Some peoples foot structure ect just does not make wearing heels a option.
    Try the pads to relieve the ball pain and if that does not help there are cute shoes to be had without them being high heels.
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  18. #518
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    Who's GG? I have a question.

    DATING
    An old friend in another state is planning to introduce me to some women she knows for dating in a few weeks. I had a GF last year who didn't like me to CD, so I didn't do it when I was with her and it didn't bother me. It took me a couple months after she broke up with me before I started dressing again. So my idea is not to mention CDing until we're intimate. I thought then I could ask my date if we should share with each other any fetishes, fantasies and fears we have. And I would refer to CDing as my occasional fetish. Is there any reason that should not work?
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  19. #519
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    I actually think this is the best approach, Lela. Women are more likely to accept the CDing if they really, really, really like you, and this usually doesn't happen on the first date. So do go ahead and start dating again and when you feel that you're clicking with someone (when you know that she returns your feelings), then mention it. I won't comment on what to say though ... if it is fetish for you then you can present it that way, I suppose. Hopefully she'll be kinky too.

    But if the CDing isn't fundamentally fetish for you, if you're instead thinking of introducing it that way in the hopes of easing her in, please don't. It's always best to be honest from the onset.
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  20. #520
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    If it was me I would want to know from the start and definitely not told until we became intimate. If you want to wait then do so but not until you're intimate.
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  21. #521
    Aspiring Member LelaK's Avatar
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    Thank you both for your comments. I like to be flexible about many things, as I like to be friendly toward good people. So, whether a person says they worship God or Satan, I don't jump to a conclusion about either one. People's meanings are often not what they seem superficially. But most people seem to prefer to jump to conclusions and assume the worst or best, based on such "window dressing", apparently because they don't like to have a lot of impressions in their minds left unjudged or undecided.

    The definition of Fetish that I mean here is "a strong and unusual need or desire for something". I don't really consider it a definite need, but a desire, so I should more accurately say I occasionally have "a strong desire for something", namely, crossdressing.

    So, I expect I'll go with the plan to wait until we're starting to be intimate before I ask my date if she's ready to verbally start sharing our main fantasies, fetishes & fears. However, I'm always open to better inspiration, in case any exists.
    Last edited by LelaK; 05-02-2016 at 10:24 AM.
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  22. #522
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    What I usually say is to tell when you determine its starting to get serious.
    When a woman already has fallen for you it's easier for them to try to understand. But in the beginning not usually.
    And agree with the fetishes talk IF that is what it is for you.
    But if it's more ( like its a big part of my partners life and who they are and not a fetish thing) do not play it off as just a fetish.
    Many wifes, gf of cders I know .... A common complaint is first they said it was to spice up our sex life, or its just panties or its just this and that . WHEN that was just an easier way to introduce it to them.And that back fires down the line ... When the truth comes out.
    But by all means if that's how it is for you then say that.
    Just be honest.... In the long run that's the most important, long lasting thing to a good relationship who accepts. You for being you.Best Wishes
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  23. #523
    Aspiring Member LelaK's Avatar
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    Thanks, Di. So far, I only have an occasional strong desire to CD. And, as I showed, that's defined as a fetish. Some say it progresses, but I don't know that it does. It has progressed for me when I'm alone, but it didn't when I had a GF; it regressed. And some have said they stopped crossdressing entirely. So I think it's honest for me to say at this point that it's a fetish for me. My self-image is more feminine, but women seem to like the way gay men dress, so that doesn't seem to matter.
    Last edited by Di; 05-03-2016 at 04:15 AM. Reason: Answering a post that was removed/ Tks
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  24. #524
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    I would want to know from the start that it was a fetish you had. I would not include fears though. Just fetish and fantasies.

  25. #525
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    Quote Originally Posted by LelaK View Post
    Who's GG? I have a question.

    DATING
    An old friend in another state is planning to introduce me to some women she knows for dating in a few weeks. I had a GF last year who didn't like me to CD, so I didn't do it when I was with her and it didn't bother me. It took me a couple months after she broke up with me before I started dressing again. So my idea is not to mention CDing until we're intimate. I thought then I could ask my date if we should share with each other any fetishes, fantasies and fears we have. And I would refer to CDing as my occasional fetish. Is there any reason that should not work?
    I would want to know from the start. If she isn't into it, and you've lead her on to the point where she feels comfortable being intimate, and you drop it on her, she will either feel manipulated into going along with it if she doesn't like it, or leave you, in which you've both just wasted a whole bunch of time getting to know each other. If this is a part of you, own it. Wouldn't you want to date someone who not only accepts but possibly even enjoys it, even if it means the possibility of taking a bit longer to find that particular someone? I mean, maybe not on the first date, like "Hi, my name is so and so and I wear women's clothing" but at least once you two have hit it off and have a connection, then bring it up.

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    Quote Originally Posted by KrissyP View Post
    So girls, help me out. My high heel experience is painful. I am talking about heels 3 inches and taller. The latest to cause a problem were almost 4.5 to 5 inches depending on how you measure them. I think they fit fine. I don't notice any rubbing or have red spots on my feet when I remove them, but the balls of my feet just kill me after a little bit of walking. Is that just the bone structure of the foot needing to get used to the physics of walking that way? I see many of you ladies walking successfully in high heels so I wonder. Of course the older ladies don't seem to wear them, so is it just a young girls game? I am not really heavy by the way at 5'11 and 155. Thoughts?
    That's something that comes with a lot of practice and experience with wearing heels. I can't stand wearing them, they always hurt and it's not worth it to me, lol. So I really don't own any pairs. I think I had one which I threw in the donate pile and believe I spotted in my husband's collection (we wear the same shoe size). It can and often does damage one's feet and tendons, as someone who wears heels constantly and doesn't stretch can shorten the tendons in the heel (not sure what they're called), and I've known plenty of older women who have developed corns so bad next to their big toe that they had to have surgery to file them down. Likely why many older women don't wear them anymore. Women will also complain about wearing them, even ones who wear them more regularly, and can't wait to kick them off at the end of the night. They even made ballet-slipper type flats that one can tuck into one's purse in case the heels need to come off, pronto.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post

    I am curious how you feel when you see a dress you like but come to learn it is not available in your size, anywhere. Do you write it off to "who gives a crap" or do you think some designers are unrealistic?
    I write it off and look for something that fits. It's not just about size either, we all have different body shapes, so even if a dress is the same size, it won't lay right on everyone who fits that size. I knew someone who would complain because even though the dress would fit her, her boobs were too big. That's a huge complaint from larger-chested women, finding something that fits their boobs. We also learn more about what's more flattering about our body shapes than just looking at sizes (Men have this to a smaller degree. My husband gets picky about brands, like certain jeans fit him well and others don't look right, despite being the same size. Or a shirt in the same size from different manufacturers might have too long or too short sleeves).

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    Quote Originally Posted by cdtraveler View Post
    First of all thank you for your input here it's a treasure. As a way to provide context for my question, I wil share that I've been out to my spouse for 4 years now she found.out after 10 yrs of marrage by finding aink to this site left up on the pc. ) but in a dadt mode of communication, which I hate. I dress every week but only when she's out and the kids are at school (I work from.home). So she knows I dress.then but mostly a bit of make up, or a panty/ bra set mostly due to time constraints. My main question is this ....she still fears I'm gay or will some day wish to transition.and so I think she feels that if she doesn't discuss the topic it will either go away or she at least."would be encouraging it". I've reassured her, we go to couples .and gender conselng and even the therapist has tried to eeassure her but to no avail. She has in some ways become more willing to acknowledge my need to dress but still only brings it up if I purchase something or someth8ing else brings it up. I so want is to be more at ease about it. Would love for instance to be able to say make a fashion comment on someone on say the bachelor show's fashion but i guess bc i've never done it before she's put off by it. Just hate the ackwardness of it all. So do I.bring it up.more? Or just deal.with this being the way it is? Im therapy I've been encouraged to be more self accepting but it's hard to let my gaurd down for fear it makes her uncomfortable.
    I would continue to deal with it as is, and should she come around on her own with enough time, she'll let you know. She probably doesn't like the awkwardness of it either, and possibly deep down wishes she could be more accepting for you, but it still bothers her too much to see it. She's accepting of it in the sense that she is still there, and doesn't make an issue of your dressing. Maybe she thinks that your dressing while she's at work and kids are at school should be enough to satisfy your needs, and then she doesn't have to see it herself.

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