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  1. #51
    Audrey Michelle's SO
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    I would absolutely have not be okay with my husband in a wedding dress at our wedding! 1st and foremost, my children with a different man were at my wedding. They are to never know about Audrey under any circumstances.

    Had this been discussed, meaning if he had any interest in it at all, and my children were non-existent then it is a minor possibility. He would have had to have shown me that it was something important to him. If the kids were part of the equation, and it were something equally important to him, then it could be discussed to have a private ceremony between us.
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  2. #52
    Girlfriend of BrandyGG candicd's Avatar
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    To the GGs,

    How do you show support to your SO? What are the things you do or say? Some of us are just insecure little girls sometimes ).

    -Candi
    Loving girlfriend of BrandyGG

  3. #53
    Audrey Michelle's SO
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    Quote Originally Posted by candicd View Post
    To the GGs,

    How do you show support to your SO? What are the things you do or say? Some of us are just insecure little girls sometimes ).

    -Candi
    How do I show support?

    I allow him to stay married to an awesome woman like me!!

    Just kidding!!!

    I don't really know HOW I do it, maybe he is the better one to say what it is. But, from what I TRY to make sure that I do is 1) Listen when he talks. 2) Remind him how much I love and treasure him. 3) Remind him that no matter what life throws at us, we will get through it.

    I don't look at being a supportive wife to a CD as any different from being a supportive wife to a NON-CD. I show love and respect to him either way. What I can say about how I treat him regarding the CDing (Now. Not in the past...) is that I try to not take things personally, and try to accept it for what it is. If I do have a problem, that is just in my own head and not a genuine problem that needs working out, then I usually deal with it on my own and get over it quickly. I don't want to upset him or make him want to hide things from me by fighting over nonsense. If is a genuine problem that needs discussing, then I try to keep as level of a head as possible, remember the things that I have learned here, and keep calm. Thankfully, we haven't had any large problems since we laid out our ground rules and boundaries.
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  4. #54
    Silver Member BRANDYJ's Avatar
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    To the GG's,

    !. We talk about boundaries that a husband and wife agree upon. Would you to share some, if not all the boundaries you have in place?

    2. Has your husband or CD placed any boundaries on himself without you asking for it to be a boundary?

    3. Since setting those initial boundaries, have you and your partner expanded them? That is say something that once was a boundaries
    no longer is a boundary?

    4. I feel like I am a better man, a better person because of my dual gender status. Do you feel that your partner might also be a better
    man/person because he is a CD?

  5. #55
    The Lurking GG Stitch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KarenNY View Post
    Here's a question if I may ask the married GG's on the forum... and I don't know how many of you are married, but it has to do with weddings. How many of you would have been (or would be) OK with your SO wanting to be the bride in your wedding, or *a* bride if you were to do a "double-bride" wedding?
    I wouldn't be okay with this. Maybe its selfish but I would feel its encroaching on my space. I rarely ever have an excuse to dress up, especially in the terms you do when your a bride. My partner is a CDer, and isn't out. I'm completely happy for him to have dress up time privately, but I would want him there on our big day as a man, dressed to the nines in his best suit. I'd want to be able to look at him on our special day looking at his most attractive to me. He looks AMAZING in a suit (which I think I've mentioned in this thread already) That way we could get some lovely photos, to look back with fondness of how good we looked in our youth, and I could make eyes at him all day ready for the honey moon. Thankfully, my partner is very happy as a man. His motives for dressing are more about a piece of mind rather than what he looks like, so we never really "compete" as it were.


    Quote Originally Posted by candicd View Post
    To the GGs,

    How do you show support to your SO? What are the things you do or say? Some of us are just insecure little girls sometimes ).

    -Candi
    For us its not all about dressing. My partner is very soft and quiet person, he isn't a strong macho man at all. So we'll quite often sit together snuggled up and I'll play with his hair and whisper sweet things to him. He's a big worrier in general, so I'll help him try and address those things. I'll cheer him up when he is sad by being silly. I'm not saying he isn't strong at all, because he is and definitely has his own strength, but he knows we can just be his soft self around me.

    As for the CDing side, I bought him a necklace for Christmas one year to wear. I help him pick out outfits for when he goes away. I've helped brush his wigs and gave them a general tidy up. We have had a picnic dressed. That being said, it's not a huge part of who he is. He only occasionally dresses.



    Quote Originally Posted by BRANDYJ View Post
    To the GG's,

    !. We talk about boundaries that a husband and wife agree upon. Would you to share some, if not all the boundaries you have in place?

    2. Has your husband or CD placed any boundaries on himself without you asking for it to be a boundary?

    3. Since setting those initial boundaries, have you and your partner expanded them? That is say something that once was a boundaries
    no longer is a boundary?

    4. I feel like I am a better man, a better person because of my dual gender status. Do you feel that your partner might also be a better
    man/person because he is a CD?
    Haven't really had to put up any boundaries. His Crossdressing was in the picture long before I was, so he already knew lots about himself and made plans to dress away from home. I missed his "growing pains"
    We tend to treat each other how we'd like to be treated, so we are always aware about each others comfort zones and stuff.

    As for him being a better person because of his Crossdressing needs. I don't think that at all. I think he is an amazing person anyway, you take away the girl clothes and he'd be the same person but with more wardrobe space.
    Last edited by Stitch; 05-23-2012 at 03:21 PM.
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  6. #56
    Audrey Michelle's SO
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    Quote Originally Posted by BRANDYJ View Post
    1. We talk about boundaries that a husband and wife agree upon. Would you to share some, if not all the boundaries you have in place?
    Our boundaries are: Under no circumstances are the children EVER to know. No Transition. No hormones.

    Quote Originally Posted by BRANDYJ View Post
    2. Has your husband or CD placed any boundaries on himself without you asking for it to be a boundary?
    He will not go out dressed.

    Quote Originally Posted by BRANDYJ View Post
    3. Since setting those initial boundaries, have you and your partner expanded them? That is say something that once was a boundaries no longer is a boundary?
    They are hard boundaries, and I don't see myself yielding on them.

    Quote Originally Posted by BRANDYJ View Post
    4. I feel like I am a better man, a better person because of my dual gender status. Do you feel that your partner might also be a better man/person because he is a CD?
    He is the most gentle, sweetest, kindest, and down right patient man I have EVER known. I think those traits have A LOT to do with being a CD.
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  7. #57
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    CDers, do you think you could space out your questions a bit? There's no way to measure this and I hate to impose rules, but maybe no more than one question every 2-3 days to give some space for all the answers?

    Quote Originally Posted by candicd View Post
    How do you show support to your SO? What are the things you do or say?
    By living our lives in concert with one another. Her switching back and forth is just so ordinary for us it doesn't merit any "special" comments. It's just the same as my SO not making a big deal when I change from wearing a pair of blue jeans to a summer skirt.

    That said, in the beginning when I was learning about all of this we had the usual "special girlie time" (painting finger nails, etc), but we don't any more. How many women in their 50s do you know who paint each other's finger nails? I also want to add, it is mostly the accepting GGs who seem to be responding to this thread so far. For a wife just having learned about this after some years together and who is struggling with the concept, blocking out some time so that her husband is free to dress even if alone without having to hide anything, is a huge way to support him.

    Quote Originally Posted by BRANDYJ View Post
    We talk about boundaries that a husband and wife agree upon. Would you to share some, if not all the boundaries you have in place?
    There are no boundaries simply because we both agree on the degree of "outedness". Also my SO has a rich life with many other things in it than the CDing, and so she dresses when the need arises and as her schedule permits, which I find entirely reasonable. Admittedly there was an expansion in the beginning from dressing just at home to learning how to go out in the mainstream, which brought with it a wardrobe overhaul and some minor changes to her physical presentation in order to make it easier and quicker for her to get ready. And during these times I convinced myself she was on her way to transition despite her assuring me of the contrary. Still even then, I had no wish to limit my SO's self-expression. I don't want to be with a partner who stifles himself to be with me, this is a recipe for future relationship disaster. If however she were to want to live full time or transition, this is beyond my comfort level for a romantic partner and we would need to reexamine the direction of our relationship at that time.

    Is she a better person because she is dualgender? Honestly I don't know, I've never known her otherwise and so I've nothing to compare. She is a fine person though, and this is why we're together.

    Quote Originally Posted by Purple8229 View Post
    Would you blame your CD husband if this secret came out to the kids …
    If the kids found out on their own then we'd just need to deal with it as best we can. We'd do our best to educate them about all the different facets of being trans, and how this fits in with my SO. We would also respect their individual preferences as to exposure. One of my sons might not be bothered by seeing my SO dressed, but the other two might and my SO would not feel comfortable dressing in front of them in that case. But, I would not want my SO to tell my sons without my permission, just as I wouldn't tell her boss or her parents without her permission.

    However, when the kids share the same parents, it is just as important for both parents to be exactly on the same page with this, so as not to confuse the kids. It would be awful if dad gave the impression he was all gung-ho about the CDing while mom was sitting in the corner with white knuckles. The kids would be forced to choose sides, despite the parents' best intentions to not have this happen.
    Reine

  8. #58
    FAB Moderator/ Eryn's GG Mimi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by candicd View Post
    To the GGs,

    How do you show support to your SO? What are the things you do or say? Some of us are just insecure little girls sometimes ).

    -Candi
    I compliment Eryn on her look when she dresses (and she always truly looks lovely). I suggest little outings for us such as shopping, and help her pick out her outfit and accessories. When she tries on clothes, I give a constructive opinion as to the way it looks. I have no problem with the underdressing, nightie and androgynous jeans/capris/shoes.

    Quote Originally Posted by BRANDYJ View Post
    To the GG's,

    !. We talk about boundaries that a husband and wife agree upon. Would you to share some, if not all the boundaries you have in place?

    2. Has your husband or CD placed any boundaries on himself without you asking for it to be a boundary?

    3. Since setting those initial boundaries, have you and your partner expanded them? That is say something that once was a boundaries
    no longer is a boundary?

    4. I feel like I am a better man, a better person because of my dual gender status. Do you feel that your partner might also be a better
    man/person because he is a CD?
    We have not set any formal boundaries, because Eryn is respectful of my feelings, and I will speak up if something is making me uncomfortable. When I first found out about Eryn, and Eryn first started dressing, she asked my permission or at least discussed with me beforehand things like shaving body hair and purchasing shoes. I stretched to go along with it, and it was difficult for me at first, and when I explained my feelings, Eryn slowed down.

    I believe Eryn is much happier now than she was before she told me about the CDing and started exploring it. I think it has made her a better, more tolerant person.

  9. #59
    Audrey Michelle's SO
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    Quote Originally Posted by Purple8229 View Post
    My two questions to all you GG's is more in tune with children specifically. I'm very happily married, my wife is fully 100% supportive of me, and my daughter knows, accepts, and loves me, my son knows (I think or at least suspects), and it's not an issue for him...why? Because kids are sharper than tacks. My wife nor I revealed I CD'd, but it came out in the mix. I sense some of you women would not want, under any circumstances, to have the children know this about their father.
    I must clarify something. Yes I am completely against it because of the children. But, it is because the 2 children that I am concerned about are not Audrey's biological children. They are from my previous marriage and he is their step-dad. I am constantly at war with my ex-husband, and he is always looking for a reason to try to gain custody of them. He WOULD use the CDing as a reason, and I have no doubts about it. I honestly wouldn't blame him, due to society being uneducated on the issue. That is my reason that they are NEVER to know.... well, at least until custody is no longer an issue.

    We do have a son together. He is almost 17 months old. I don't see this being a problem for a few more years in his case. I guess I will deal with it then.

    Quote Originally Posted by Purple8229 View Post
    1. Would you blame your CD husband if this secret came out to the kids, through their own efforts, not from either of you; would it diminish your husband in any way in your eyes, or otherwise raise doubts or concerns about why you married a CDer, although these were not huge concerns initially, believing this secret could be kept from the kids, and how would you deal with it?
    I would hope that this never comes up. If they found out on their own later in their lives, I will deal with it then. Nothing would change the way I see him. If nothing has yet, nothing ever will.

    Quote Originally Posted by Purple8229 View Post
    2. Has this been a real life issue with any of you and how was it dealt with?
    Thankfully, No.
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  10. #60
    ADMINISTRATOR Sandra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KarenNY View Post
    Here's a question if I may ask the married GG's on the forum... and I don't know how many of you are married, but it has to do with weddings. How many of you would have been (or would be) OK with your SO wanting to be the bride in your wedding, or *a* bride if you were to do a "double-bride" wedding?
    No I wouldn't have been happy, a wedding day is the brides day.

    What I would like to do when Nigella has had her surgery, is have a civil ceremony.

    Quote Originally Posted by candicd View Post
    To the GGs,

    How do you show support to your SO? What are the things you do or say? Some of us are just insecure little girls sometimes ).

    -Candi
    Nigella says I do nothing I am here with her, I have been to all the appointments at the gender clinic with her and I'm annoyed that the next one I can't get to, but I'll be there for the next one. When she wants to sit and talk I listen and offer advice and she knows that I am here for her.


    BRANDYJ

    We don't have any boundaries now. In the past we did when we had a big hicup and that was I decided when she could dress, and that boundary went out of the window about 4 months after it was agreed.
    As for Nigella putting some in place by herself, no she didn't, we discussed everything and decided things together.

    Is Nigella a better person? no she is who she is no better no worse.
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  11. #61
    Silver Member Babeba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nigella View Post
    When the pink fog becomes a pea souper, where is your happy place that you go to?
    It doesn't happen very often/at all... But some of the times I have been most unsure have been the times I hugged her the most. FAB helps too.

    Quote Originally Posted by KarenNY View Post
    Here's a question if I may ask the married GG's on the forum... and I don't know how many of you are married, but it has to do with weddings. How many of you would have been (or would be) OK with your SO wanting to be the bride in your wedding, or *a* bride if you were to do a "double-bride" wedding? Would you feel your SO is competing with you or intruding in an area that should not be encroached upon, would you be OK with it as an expression of your mutual love and understanding, or would you be more comfortable with a separate wedding ceremony where your SO can enjoy the thrill of being the bride?
    I had a GG girlfriend back in college who was thrilled about my CDing and enjoyed helping me dress and going out and about with me. We talked marriage, although we never did discuss our wedding in terms of my CDing, and sadly she broke up with me after more than a year of dating (and partly because I was CDing more and more often; for her, the novelty had apparently worn off). My own mock wedding was just after college and a couple of years before I met my wife, but was with a male groom.
    If we ever get married, two dresses probably won't come up... Crystal is not out to her family and friends, other than me. (if we were to bave fun in thrift store outfits and take pictures just the two of us, that is totally different!) However, I strongly believe that a wedding is a symbol of celebrating the things you want to take forward in the future, so I would make sure that Crystal had full input on everything, and that things which are important to both of us were involved... Like roaring dinosaurs, Paddington Bear, and yummy food - Things that show our individual selves and how we are happy and strong as a couple.

    Quote Originally Posted by candicd View Post
    To the GGs,

    How do you show support to your SO? What are the things you do or say? Some of us are just insecure little girls sometimes ).

    -Candi
    I call her when I miss her, I always keep my eye out for shoes she'd like when I am thrifting, I smile big when I see her. All the things that I do because I love my partner lots. I don't hide or put on an act when we are together, and I think that helps show my sincerity when I say I love her. I try to acknowledge and match the little things she does for me, although she usually is more awesome at it than I am. She always remembers to get soy milk for me, and I barely remember to pick up regular milk for her!

    Brandi, your question 4 (the other three don't really apply, we don't live together yet and we have things pretty well talked over and agreed without boundaries): this is a toughie. Crystal is my favourite man I have ever met because of who she is (and who he is). I cannot point to specific traits and say, 'if he did not have TG parts, this would not be here.' i could list a lot of the reasons why I like him, yes, some of them have to do with empathy, emotional availability and other stereotypically female traits. Does that mean if he did not have the urge to dress, he would be less in those things? Who knows? They are certainly not universal TG traits. All I can say is that to my mind, I have the best boyfriend ever, bar none.

  12. #62
    ADMINISTRATOR Sandra's Avatar
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    After 25 years of marriage and knowing all but 6 months of that 25 years about Nigella, nope I don't have any fear of that.
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  13. #63
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    I very much had that fear in the beginning. We had pressures on our relationship from sources outside the CDing and my SO was going through a lot of changes while coming out of her closet, so yes I did feel sometimes as if I might not be a priority for her. This did cause me to step back. But, I don't feel this way any more.
    Reine

  14. #64
    The Lurking GG Stitch's Avatar
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    I don't have that fear at all. My boyfriend has always made me his main priority, and sex for him seems to fall more into "love making" and an emotional need rather than physical. Although the physical side is good too. I don't see him considering me as a replaceable component.
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  15. #65
    Silver Member Babeba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Purple8229 View Post
    Do any of you GG's have the fear that a relationship with a CDer will result in him replacing you in his sexual motivations and or actions as the relationship progresses?
    I think you're asking, am I worried that he is going to get more into himself or playing at being the woman in a sexual fantasy than he is in me?

    No, I'm not worried about that. I know he thinks I'm fantastic! :-)

  16. #66
    Audrey Michelle's SO
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    Quote Originally Posted by Purple8229 View Post
    Do any of you GG's have the fear that a relationship with a CDer will result in him replacing you in his sexual motivations and or actions as the relationship progresses?
    I did at first. Every so often the fear comes back in, but it goes away quickly. I don't really worry about it much now because he has proven that he is content with us.
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  17. #67
    Silver Member BRANDYJ's Avatar
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    Here's a question for our GG's that I would love to ask every GG SA that sell women's wear. Since I am not brave enough to do that, I am asking our GG members what their thoughts are.

    I realize it can be skewed since all of you have a good knowledge about us CD's. So I'll ask you to think back before any CD issues entered your life. Before you found out about your SO/husband. Maybe some of you have actually been a SA selling ladies wear. So if you can, respond with how you felt or might have felt before you personally had to deal with a CD in your life.

    If a man came in and was looking at lingerie or dresses and such, would you right off have suspected he was a CD?
    Would you have thought he must be gay?
    Would you have been either embarrassed or uncomfortable if he said he was looking for himself?
    Would you have thought he was into a sexual fetish thing since he wants to wear women's clothes?
    Lastly, how do you think the average SA presented with the above really feels about dealing with a man that happens to be a CD but is shopping dressed as a male?
    Same question, but dressed fem?

  18. #68
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    It depends on the SA, Brandy. Some of them genuinely don't care. They have a "whatever" attitude. Others are grateful for the sale. Only once was I an invisible fly on the wall. My SO and I walked into an Ann Taylor shop together, but she went to one side of the store while I went to the other. The two SAs at the counter did not realize we were together. While my SO's back was turned, I saw one elbow the other and nod towards my SO with a snicker. The other one smiled. Then they noticed me staring at them and I gave them a good, long, hard glare. They turned away in embarrassment. What went through their minds? Likely everything that you said.

    I was not embarrassed, not any more although I used to be in the beginning. I was angry. And sad. And I didn't feel it necessary to share the incident with my SO, since we can do nothing about people's attitudes over the CDing.
    Last edited by ReineD; 06-01-2012 at 12:13 PM.
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  19. #69
    Silver Member Babeba's Avatar
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    I can't speak for the average SA, and I don't want for anyone to get mad at me if they go out and get a more-predjudiced-than-most SA, so I'm not going to try! This is all from my (hypothetical) perspective.

    Umm, I probably would have not suspected it. It was definitely NOT on my radar before Crystal. I probably would have thought he was shopping for a present for someone else. I probably would have been surprised at him saying it was for him, but I also try not to judge people at first glance (especially if I haven't had time to think about things) so my outward demeanor would not have changed. Actually some times of year I would probably not have even been surprised, the city I grew up in had an annual fun race called 'the underwear affair' raising money for cancers below the waist and there were usually some hilariously great getups put together by both guys and girls crossdressing for the run. There was another one raising money for the women's shelter that was "walk a mile in her shoes" (literally). Looking back on it, some of those participants had REALLY gone all out with getting women's shoes that fit them and were cute... hmm...

    I probably wouldn't have thought sexual fetish (because those are things you don't indulge in public, right? That'd be like having a flogging session on your front lawn..) I would have thought, "individual." There was one fellow who I used to chat with when I worked at a bookstore who was always very nicely (androgynously) dressed. I thought he was awesomesauce.

    Also, a LOT of clothing stores work on commission (or sales factor into bonuses, which are the main source of pay anyway). So unless someone was acting super pervy, I probably wouldn't have reacted negatively. I mean, getting paid would have been more important to me than getting on a high horse.

  20. #70
    CamilleLeon's SO Shananigans's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BRANDYJ View Post
    If a man came in and was looking at lingerie or dresses and such, would you right off have suspected he was a CD?
    Would you have thought he must be gay?
    Would you have been either embarrassed or uncomfortable if he said he was looking for himself?
    Would you have thought he was into a sexual fetish thing since he wants to wear women's clothes?
    Lastly, how do you think the average SA presented with the above really feels about dealing with a man that happens to be a CD but is shopping dressed as a male?
    Same question, but dressed fem?
    I used to work in retail (unfortunately). I would not assume that a man looking for lingerie or dresses is a CD or gay. Sometimes selling underwear to guys can be a little awkward...just because some guys are awkward/I can be awkward too. For example, some guys have come in looking for lingerie for their SO...but, then, ask me questions about what I would wear, or if I thought I would look hot in a certain item. I'm not sure why this skeeves me out...but, it does. I usually answer very concisely (avoiding the answer), then tell the guy where I will be if he has further questions. So, THAT'S usually how I get uncomfortable/embarrassed. If he was looking for underwear for himself, I wouldn't really be embarrassed or uncomfortable. I'd probably only think it was really "fetishy" if he was spending WAAAAAAY too much time in the underwear section. Some guys do this...they will post up looking at a couple of tables of panties for 15 minutes. Most people get their underwear they think they want and go. The average SA probably does not care that much...but, we do talk about "interesting" customers once they leave. A guy SA would probably care even less...but, a lot of girls talk smack. If you came in dressed en femme, I would help you out and it would not be awkward unless there was a lot of time spent staring at panties or if you asked what I like wearing. However, I most definitely would end up in a conversation with another SA about the fact that a CD just came in the store. Why? Because, girls talk and retail is boring. I wouldn't think much about it.
    Last edited by Shananigans; 06-04-2012 at 06:00 PM.
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  21. #71
    Arell Roberta Lynn's Avatar
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    First I'd like to thank all the GG members here that are taking part in this thread.
    These types of threads are always helpful and informative.

    Now I have another question.
    A while back in the Loved Ones section One of the GG members here wrote.

    "I feel massively alone. My best girlfriends in the world that I have known for 20 plus years are in the dark about this huge revelation in my life. Many people have been commenting to me that are in my innermost circle that something seems wrong, asking what's up. I just keep saying nothing. How will I ever be close to these people again now?"

    Did you feel this way when you found out about your SO? Do you still?

    Have you been able to balance the need for secrecy about your SO with your need for support from your families and friends? If so how?

    What would you want me, As your transgender SO, do to help?

  22. #72
    Aspiring Member Silentpartner GG SO's Avatar
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    Jan 2012
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    978
    I havent really taken part much in this thread to date - not because it hasnt interested me, far from it, rather that I would only have been reiterating what the other GG's have said so far.

    I can very much relate to the statement:
    "I feel massively alone. My best girlfriends in the world that I have known for 20 plus years are in the dark about this huge revelation in my life. Many people have been commenting to me that are in my innermost circle that something seems wrong, asking what's up. I just keep saying nothing. How will I ever be close to these people again now?"
    I felt very much like this - I really wanted to tell my best friend who I have known for over 25 years - not that she needs to know, just that I needed someone to be able to talk honestly and openly to, and vent occasionally if the need arose, without fear or judgment or adverse reaction.
    One of my sisters is in a long term relationship with a crossdresser and she is quite open about it but I havent even told her. She's a lovely person but I just know she wouldnt be able to keep it to herself, something would be blurted out by mistake and that would be it, the cat would be out of the bag.
    My other sister, I'm sure, would be fine about it but then I think I would feel bad about trusting one sister and not the other.

    There were times when I would be alone in the house and things started playing on my mind, then I would end up crying and feeling totally alone - I had been dragged into the closet with my husband - this was especially bad when he went into pink fog soon after he told me. He has said that I can trell whoever I feel I need to, its up to me, but I dont want anyone to look at him differently or feel differently towards him so I've kept it to myself.

    I am glad to say that I dont feel like this much nowadays - this site has helped a great deal, to be aable to actually 'talk' to others, both CD's, TS's and GG's about it openly and honestly. Plus I have now realised that my husband doesnt want to transition, is happy to keep it in the house and to be fair, he doesnt dress very often, only a couple of times a month at the moment. It really doesnt affect our life very much at all.

    If there is one single thing that my hubby could do to make my life easier, not just about the CD'ing but about everyday life really, it would be to talk to me - he's never been a talker and some days he says barely 10 words to me! I often feel like I'm living with as mute and I feel shut out of his world .

  23. #73
    GG WifeofWrenchette's Avatar
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    Sep 2009
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    TX
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    We don't keep secrets well. Everyone we know, including both of our families know about it. Pretty much everyone had questions and judgments, but ultimately because I was accepting that made them accept it. His mother was a surprise, she took it the best out of everyone. It turns out that her brother (his uncle) was also a crossdresser so his mom was pretty used to the idea. Since everyone knows and has known from the beginning it isn't an issue for us.
    Define "normal"

  24. #74
    Banned Read only
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    Is it a safe bet that at least some of the GGs here have SO [CDers] that don't read or participate in these Forums?

  25. #75
    Silver Member Babeba's Avatar
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    May 2010
    Location
    Southern AB
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    2,191
    @Roberta: I feel stilted and awkward sometimes when I want to say something about cross dressing and have to edit myself. I am usually a tell everyone-everything-sort of person when it comes to my own life and experiences, so it is distinctly odd to have climbed into the closet with my partner. I think I would have a harder time of it if it wasn't for the way I found out (by being trusted with this information at the start of my relationship) and the fact this site exists: I joined here as soon as I had started to process things, and came here for a source of information and support. The people on here have really been my support network, and a lot of people on here are friends now so I feel like I can talk with my friends about it when I need to - just not the face to face ones.

    @ wild: my SO, Crystal Alberta is on this site. She reads more than she posts, but I know she still checks out a few things on here. We talk about threads sometimes, which I think is nice, but I usually am the one bringing it up (which is also fine!) she is the one who told me about this site, actually. When I figured out you could read a person's back posts, I went and read hers and found a post she made when she told me about being a cross dresser and it still gives me a huge grin to go find that old thread and look at it!

    Sometimes I wonder if she would post more if I were not there to read it, but she doesn't seem to mind. I am really lucky that way.

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