First time shopping

[JamieQ]

Hi, How about a bit of advice for first time shoppers? I went out yesterday for the FIRST time ever and bought my own panties. It really wasn't that bad at all. I wish I would have done it a longtime ago. Anyways, I think I'm going back to a discount store soon to get some string bikini tops and bottom swimming suits. My SO's are way too small for me! I figured I would pick out 2 or 3 my size (which I'm still trying to figure out). Get a gift bag and a birthday card along with them. I think something like that wouldn't arouse any suspicions at all. Byefor now!

[April Lyn]

Welcome, and thanks for the great post Amanda. I have yet to shop for the first time, though i'm dying to get up the nerve to. Your post is a great inspiration for me, also I love the birthday card idea.
- April

[JamieQ]

Oh come on April Lyn. Just do it!!! Go to a discount store and buy some regular panties or something. Maybe get a package of panty liners to go with it. You're going to need them for something anyways. They will think your buying for your SO. Just keep the first time simple. I can't wait to go back!

[Tina B.]

You don't need to buy the card, and gift bag, just ask if they wrap presents, if The answer is yes, it's always in a different part of the store, youi can just walk that way, and then duck out. If the answer is no, it's oh well, I guess we have wrapping paper at home, it's cheaper that way. Not that they care, but it will make you feel more stealth.
Tina B.

[Kristy_K]

The first time is the hardest.

Stores are in business to sell things.

Plus I am sure you are not the first male to buy woman clothes there.

[crossdressersfriend GG]

Confidence is the key. I've worked in stores and trust me most times we wouldn't think anything of a guy buying womens clothes, I'd probably assume you were getting it for your GF? Go right into Victoria's Secret and pick what you like, bring that and your confidence right up to that register and pay.

Easier said than done huh?

[JamieQ]

Thank you...MUCH easier done than said!!

[Sara Jessica]

Confidence is the key.

Confidence is a must to avoid the "creepy" factor. But just as important is to avoid the big lie. There is no need to tell tales about who you are buying for. Just own it and be honest, saying it's for you if asked. Otherwise, take your purchases to the nearest register and buy away. You will not be the first, nor the last guy to be doing so.

[LarrissaMurray]

I use to look the cashier in the eye and say "Stupid Dog, always tearing things up". LOL I've come to realize over time though that 99% of the time you don't have to say anything. Be it panties or a box of cereal, most clerks could care less they just ring it up. I do still get a bit of a "rush" out of it though. Have fun!

[fran46]

Here's something I wrote about shopping for another site a few years ago...

You're frustrated with buying women's clothes by mail order, only to be surprised at the drape of the fabric or that the color isn't precisely the shade pictured in the catalog or on the web site. You're weary of purchasing an item in a store, under the pretense that it's for your wife or girlfriend, then discovering later that you needed a size 14, not a 12.

You want to shop like a woman. You want to experience the thrill of the hunt for the perfect cap-sleeve blouse, the camaraderie you've seen between female sales clerks and their customers, even the satisfying exhaustion of a day in which you tried on more outfits than you can count.

Also, you want your clothes to fit.

I've done that kind of shopping, and you can, too.

In patronizing dozens of women's stores in recent years, I've been uniformly treated with respect and dignity. I've overcome my fear that sirens would sound if I asked to try on a bra in Victoria's Secret, heard excellent advice by saleswomen on everything from hem lengths to tieing scarves, and, best of all, made good decisions about spending my money and building my wardrbobe.

For what it's worth, here's what I've learned:

No. 1. Do not call in advance. This one is counterintuitive. Phoning the store to ask if people there are comfortable with a man shopping for women's clothes seems like the sensitive and considerate way to pave the road for a successful outing. Unfortunately, the first image to flash into the mind of the clerk or assistant manager who answers your call is apt to be that of an extravagant drag queen in purple hot pants and an orange boa sashaying flamboyantly into her shop. My recommendation: Just go to the store.

No. 2. Avoid department stores. I've found that the women's wear staffs there are generally stodgier and definitely chillier to male customers than sales associates in such specialty shops as Chico's, Express and White House/Black Market. A department-store saleswoman is less likely to engage with you on a human level, and when you ask to try something on the chances are that she will condescendingly point you toward the fitting rooms in the men's department, two floors up.

No. 3. Forget trying to pass, unless you're so terrific that your mother wouldn't recognize you in a jumper. The trick to a great shopping experience is carrying yourself with both confidence and discretion. You want to be just another customer. You want to blend in. Women do not dress to the nines to shop, anyway. They spend too much time on their feet and take off their clothes too often to make heels and back-zippered dresses practical. If, like me, you're not always passable, skip the wig and mascara, and opt for the androgynous look, in, say, nicely cut women's slacks, a sweater twinset, and flats.

No. 4. Take your time. Women shop carefully, choosily. Yes, you're nervous, but resist the urge to grab the first acceptable black skirt, flip out your Mastercard and beat a retreat. Your goal here is to establish with the staff that you are a serious and discriminating shopper and that you're comfortable with what you're doing and what you are. That takes at least 10 minutes of perusing all the various merchandise. This bears repeating: Blend in.

No. 5. Remember that the odds are on your side. Of the last hundred or so occasions when I've shopped for women's clothing and asked to try something on before buying it, I've been turned down just once. Predictably enough, that was in a department store.

No. 6. Connect with a saleswoman. When one approaches you, and one will because most earn commissions on their sales or have dollar-specific goals set for them by management, smile, give her your name, and make a point to remember hers. Tell her what you're looking for. Seek her counsel. Establish a bond. Use her name. Talk about the clothes. If you've already identified several things you want to consider purchasing, ask if she will start a fitting room for you. In shoptalk, that means she will begin to hang those items on the door of a changing room.

No. 7. Don't be spooked by the idea of trying on a skirt you might, or might not, purchase. Half the adults in the United States sample women's clothes by putting them on in stores every year, and the fitting rooms in most afford all the privacy you'll want. Virtually every one that I've seen has hooks for your clothes and purse, as well as a full-length mirror and a bench or chair. Louvered doors seem standard, too. I don't know why. At some point, the saleswoman will stop by and inquire, through those louvers, "How are you doing?" That's her way of asking if you need a larger or smaller size, perhaps a different color. You might even dare to step out for a moment to get her opinion on the rust-toned leggings.

No. 8. Buy something. This is an absolute must. After taking advantage of the saleswoman's time and generosity, and establishing a connection with her, you must make a purchase. If you don't, she and her colleagues are apt to conclude you were only trying on clothes for a cheap thrill, and that will have a negative impact on their reaction to the next crossdresser who comes through their door. Any purchase will suffice, even if it's just a couple of $10 tailored tee shirts. Ideally, of course, you found a little black dress that is just the thing.

No. 9. Savor the moment. You've jumped a big hurdle, and now you understand that you can do it again. Just last weekend, I made a wonderful 90-minute visit to a Talbots store, where a friendly 30ish saleswoman named Amy was tactfully enthusiastic about helping me. I ended up buying an ankle-length knit dress, two pairs of shorts, a blue skort, a belt and three tops. Oh, and a leather handbag. As I left the store, I knew that I my purchases had been wise selections and that they would fit. I stepped out into the afternoon sunshine, with my bulging Talbots bag in my hand, and I felt womanly.

[BillieJoEllen]

Most excellent advice Fran!

[RenneB]

Yep, I'd say Fran nailed it. Once you get over the nerves or butterflies you go back and do it again. For the effort it's worth it. Shopping online does only one thing.... drain your bank account. I tend to buy a lot less in person / en fem than on line. I love to just walk around the mall and 'shop'. 'Buying' is a totally different mode.

To make my brain a little easier with the whole ordeal, I prep it with excuses like after I put the clothes down on the counter I say "hope she likes what I bought here". When I'm en fem I prep my brain with "I work undercover for a private eye outside the mall and I'm on break and need to pick up a few things". Ya know things like that that make my brain feel at ease and yet... I've never had to use one of them.

Not get back out there and have a blast.....

Renne.....

[LisaSky]

That was very well written Fran. Sounds as though you have a wonderful time shopping and fantastic closet because of that. You are an inspiration to me as that is just the type of experience that I am looking for. Tomorrow mid morning I am going to go out and do a little shopping myself. Hugs...

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I have gone shopping hundreds of times, en femm and en drab as well. Nobody cares what you but or who it is for, just do it my dear!!!! As for trying on a dress or top or a skirt, you have every right to do that as any GG has so act like you are confidant about it and you will be just fine. I honestly have never had any problem getting to try on clothes or shoes and many stores will gladly bring you items to try once they know what you are looking for. Go into any Victoria Secret and they will bring you as many bras to try on that you ask for. Have fun, go shopping!!!!

[Miriam-J]

Very nice, Fran. That one will go into my virtual scrapbook for later use!

Thank you.

Miriam

[silkypantyboy71]

That's great! I've been buying panties for a few years but I've only recently begun trying on bras and outerwear in department store fitting rooms. I haven't purchased anything yet but it feels so liberating. I'm getting a very good idea of what my female size is!

[Diane Smith]

Beautifully written, Fran, and I have come to almost exactly the same conclusions in my experience.

- Diane

[SometimesDiana]

I usually go shopping with a girlfriend. That way, people assume we're shopping for her. Plus, it's more fun shopping with someone anyways. I prefer trying things on at home so I shop at places with good return policies.

[Stockingstopgirl]

That's great! I've been buying panties for a few years but I've only recently begun trying on bras and outerwear in department store fitting rooms. I haven't purchased anything yet but it feels so liberating. I'm getting a very good idea of what my female size is!

Go for a bra fitting , I really enjoyed the attention plus you get the right size

[Rebecca W.]

Hi Amanda,
When I bought my first pair of panties, the cashier said that should look nice on me, I just blushed and said nothing. In my early days I would ask the return policy because I was not sure of her size or ask for a gift receipt, or a gift box. Now I mostly just smile at the cashier and give them my money. One gave me advice on how to wash my new stockings!
Enjoy your shopping and most of the salespersons are very nice and helpful. Try on a pair of shoes wearing pantyhose for a real experience'

[Tina B.]

OK, but those dept stores can be cheaper than the specialty shops. And the girl has already said she is not ready to be open, and you recommend trying on skirts, I don't think so. The best advice I can give, is don't get to far ahead of your comfort zone, that will just scare you out of the mall. Know your size, find a store not to full of people, get in there and find something cute, walk up to the counter, smile, lay down your purchase, get out your wallet, pick up bag and leave store, you will find you are still alive, you did it, and your out, one happy girl, no need to talk about it, unless asked, then feel free to lie your a$$ off, how dare they ask. It is nerve racking the first few times, but if you will pardon the saying, man up and go buy that dress, or whatever, then as soon as you can, repeat, after a few trips, you'll be fine.
Tina B.

[katie_barns]

In all the years I have been shopping in drab and enfemme I only had one bad experience. Follow Fran's post and just keep going. It will get to be natural in no time.

[Mikka]

I found my original post from my first shopping trip,I have been on so many since but the first time was so much fun!

Sorry for being long, but I am so excited.
It is time to rebuild my wardrobe. So I went the mall in drab to shop. Many have posted that sales clerks don't care and many if not most are so friendly. I encountered all of that today. First stop was Vickie's for some panties and as I was looking a young lady explained the specials. As I was picking she pointed out some styles that would fit without asking who the were for. I then was looking at thigh high stockings and she asked if I was looking for a certain color, when I said black she went over to the display grabbed a package and stated "these should fit nicely"! All along never asking me if they were for me.
Off to Payless for pumps and what fantastic experience that was. I was over by the men's shoes which are by the ladies 12's. The clerk arrived to explain the BOGO offer and asked if I had any questions I said I was just looking. Well when she came back there I was holding a gray pump in my hand (busted)! She promptly said that style is bit narrow and showed me a cute pair of open toe pumps which were a bit wider. I loved them, she asked if I wanted to try them on I said sure. She grabbed one of those little stockings and when I took my shoe and guy sock this exposed my painted toenails. She just complimented me on the color and said how cute the open toe shoes would be. Well I boxed them up but not until she reminded me a second pair would be half off. I just smiled and thanked her for being so kind and headed to the register where another young lady made sure I had right and left with both the same size and she just raved that these were such cute shoes. She took my money and thanked me!