Protecting yourself when going out

[Anna Lorree]

That of which I am forbidden to speak of here (with a permit and legally, I might add), Mace, and keys, but most importantly I keep my head on a swivel. Situational awareness will save ANYBODY's life, male or female. There are bad and desperate people out there (plus I live in a place where redneck IS considered a compliment), and there seem to be more of them with the bad economy. Don't be paranoid, but do be aware and cautious.

Anna

[Jenniferathome]

Emmi, First, let me state, you can go anywhere dressed that you would go as a male. I would never walk through Watts or Compton regardless of my clothes. The only caveat I would add is that late at night, I would walk comfortably to a parking garage as a male and less so as a woman.

Confidence is a must and that translates into you ability to blend in. If you are truly "looking over your shoulder" or even have your eyes darting about, you are calling attention to yourself. Walk like you belong and you give fewer cues to others to take a deep look at you. And it is always easier to be out with a friend or two. Of course, the best outing mate is a woman.

If you go out alone, go where woman normally go, alone: shopping malls, clothing, shoe, furniture stores, etc. And dress appropriately for the place you are going. An evening gown won't fly at Walmart. Lastly, your voice WILL give you away. Do your best and you'll find that no one really cares. You are a potential paying customer. You will be welcomed.

Go out. Have fun.

[ReineD]

Emmi, you've gotten great advice on general methods of protection. But, I wonder if you feel that going out as Emmi is a great deal more dangerous as not.

Just to put things in perspective, if you're out in well populated areas, in the parts of town that are not known to be dangerous, during day light or early-ish evening hours, your chances of having anything bad happen to you are as minimal or as great as they are with any other GG. I'm talking about places like malls, shopping areas, or any other place that are not red light districts full of bars or dark parking lots at 3 AM.

Although it is always prudent for anyone to be aware of their surroundings and have a plan B, please do not believe there are hordes of people waiting out in the mainstream to lynch a Transgender when they run into one. I'm trying to give you the middle of the road experience here, and take your thinking away from the extremes, just in case you're going there. My SO and I have been going out together (or she has alone) for years and I've not felt anything other than safe, just as safe as when I'm alone. On the other hand, we don't hang out in dangerous places late at night.

[CHEVELLE]

In my line of work I am ALWAYS alone and NEVER in the nice part of town. Once I was waiting for a load to haul out of Oakland California. Been waiting for a couple of days and I didn't know I was in the worst part of the city less than a tenth of a mole from where the raiders play football. What I didn't know was that this is not a place to hang out because it didn't LOOK I all that bad and I really had no where else to wait and one evening I went out to find some food and by the time i got back to my truck I realized how alone I was had bad vibes and got the hell outta dodge! As for defense I have never been en femme all the way and alone yet. I am a former high school wrestler so I am comfortable fighting from the ground where all finds end up anyway. I also have had several years of aikido and studied improvised weaponry and knife fighting from a family friend who learned it during the Vietnam conflict and had fought that in the service. I am 6'ft 5" tall and am deceptively fast when I need to be. My dad calls my slaw saunter a defense mechanism which I never realized I dobut it works well

[Alissa]

I have a permit to carry. Sure, we can all avoid bad areas of town but that is not full proof. Violent crime happens everywhere to people regardless of how they are dressed.

[Sandra]

I suggest that members read the rules

The discussion of guns, using, buying etc are not permitted.

Some of you are treading a very fine line with your posts.

[Sheren Kelly]

In DC there was a rash of cars being "bumped" and when the victim got out to check for damages, they were mugged. If you are alone or feel threatened, go to where lots of people are!

[NadiaEvelina]

Hi there, mmm I would say that if your not so passable you need to be accompanied. Alone is too much exposure and unsafe. Although I have seen many girls out and about in the streets, like nothing. Do take that pepper spray in your purse and behave as much as a GG does, but if the situation gets out of hand, mam it's time to take off your wig and pull out the muscle and kick some **s. Lol if you are confident of course... anything to save your life. I also would try to avoid violence always(as any civilized person would do), sometimes its better to just run away. Never fight a battle that you cannot win. Also, this is not relevant but personally I did have some Kung Fu training back in San Francisco.

Encore is just better and safer experience plus your friend can record your actions.

Have fun!

[StevieTV]

The Ottawa news just had a feature on how women can defend themselves while out and about. There is someone targeting women in the Ottawa area presently. He comes up from behind and pulls their pants down. The karate expert mentioned that you need to respond vocally and forcefully in the first 3 seconds to surprise the attacker.

[Stacey Summer]

Oh Shananigans, I would love to try making you jump. I love making people jump (Yes I'm a big kid) and someone who is always aware of their surroundings is a challenge!

For the OP. As others have said, and Shananigans said very well. Learning to be aware of your surroundings, the people around you and a number of different routes you can take is the best defense available. If someone does attack you, be as loud as you can, shout and holler (Hey, if you're out en femme anyway you're not THAT worried about being read)

Carrying a weapon in your purse is a useless tactic most of the time, because attackers rarely give you warning. Similarly, you can be a 5th Dan in any martial art you care to name but depending on how you're dressed it won't help. I'm a black belt in Aikido but it's almost useless to me when I'm wearing a skirt/dress and heels. So if you are attacked, act like a lady, go for the groin, for the eyes, stamp on their feet with your heels.

If they have a knife...well that's a "depends" situation. It depends on how you're dressed, what training you've got, how they're acting etc. If they look like they know what they're doing and you've got no training then I would do whatever they want, short of going anywhere with them. Do whatever they want. There are ways of dealing with it but it's extremely risky and generally not worth the risk, especially if it's just a "Gimme your money and stuff" attack.

And as always, the best defense is not to put yourself in a place or situation that could lead to an attack.

[Beth Mays]

I spent a number of years in the military as well and have the scars to prove it, damn proud too!
whatever is in the bad guys hand I plan to trump it by 1.5... or better.

[Eryn]

In a desperate attempt to steer this thread back on topic...

Note to self: Apparently, bear country is not a safe place to go while dressed. A good alternative for an outdoorsy dressed evening is Bass Pro Shop, where all the bears are stuffed.

5%20Shopping.JPG

[Ellyn]

It apppears that most of the replies seem to focus on dangers at night. In my city there have been a few events in the daytime that should serve as a warning not to let your vigilance down even in daytime. There was a nun raped in a downtown carpark one afternoon a few years ago, and thereafter one major mall store was offering to walk customers to their cars. Muggings have happened in early evening, and some muggings have been for the theft of the victims clothes, both men's and women's. It might appear that thieves are becoming fashion followers, but many of the targetted clothes are sports related, such as Bulls jackets, and leatherware.

[Tracii G]

I carefully choose my area before I go out enfemme.This means I have a destination whether it is shopping or going to a club.Always aware of what is around me.
Combat experience will instill that in you and it never leaves.Thank goodness!
I do pack a knife on my person @ yes I am legal. I have a second degree brown belt in Shaolin karate as well.
It is wise to go with friends and not hang out where you shouldn't.
My very wise karate sensi told me "A nail sticking out will always get hammered down". The meaning is don't stick out in a crowd or act like you don't belong wherever it is you are.

[Persephone]

Note to self: Apparently, bear country is not a safe place to go while dressed. A good alternative for an outdoorsy dressed evening is Bass Pro Shop, where all the bears are stuffed.

Love it! I'd forgotten that I'd worn that particular top that night in the Bass Pro wilderness.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[cyndigurl45]

I am a Police Woman so I always carry, I find it easier to carry concealed in my purse then on my hip, I did find an interesting video on how to carry concealed in a dress, but it appears that the mere mention is against the rules so I can not provide the link. However, do a google search for carry concealed in a dress and follow the youtube video link...

[ReineD]

Everyone, I'd like to remind everyone of the OP:

How many TG girls know karate or other martial arts to protect themselves from possible confrontations? When you do go out how do you enjoy yourself without constantly looking over your shoulder? Do you go out with other people, TG or not or do you go it alone?

Those of you who live in the US are well aware of the gun controversy here, the various pro and anti-regulation interest groups, whether or not it is a constitutional right, and the fact this is a contentious issue among people who are staunchly one political party or the other, especially in an election year.

Several mods have deleted several posts by people who completely ignore the OP's question and who focus their entire post on guns, their licences to carry, having a gun that is bigger than the other, etc.

PLEASE, let's stop the gun talk! Also, your past military services and training, although admirable (and thank you ), really have nothing to do with the topic. If you want to propose several ways that Emmi can protect herself (and you mention a gun in passing), that's fine. But the reason a new rule was put in place discouraging gun talk was to prevent seemingly innocent comments about guns to blow up into political flame wars about this. Many people are staunchly pro-guns and many others are staunchly against them.

If this thread is going to become a vehicle to discuss guns as being the only way for Emmi to protect herself (... besides, who knows whether or not Emmi is even interested in getting a gun, her OP wasn't about guns at all), I'll have to consider the majority of posts off topic now and close down the thread.

[Launa]

Most people here have the best advice for you and that is not to put yourself in strange situations. I think most of our fears are in our heads and if we let our imaginations run wild then you`ll be consumed with fear and never venture out into the beautiful world. I don`t think you have to look over your shoulder that much in public, its the stares you can get that make you uncomfortable. If you still want to learn martial arts because it makes you feel safer then I suggest taking Russian Sambo or Jeet Kune Do fighting systems but those are generally hard to find clubs and instructors. Your next best thing is BJJ. Concentrate on your trips and throws, come up with 3-4 favorite techniques that suit you and drill them, drill them, drill them until they are down perfect. Whatever you do, dont try and learn too much all at once. Remember there is no referee in the streets so you need to make your moves fast then escape, that means in under 20 seconds. PM me if you want to know more about what I think but in my opinion don`t waste time on learning up kicks, axe kicks, ridge hands, back fists, patterns etc.. They take years to master and are not the most effective in the streets. I really don`t like the idea of carrying weapons but each to their own.
My biggest fear is getting into an altercation with someone, then the cops show up and you have to go into an open court and explain what happened....

[Jessica86]

Martial arts won't save you from the point and click or point and thrust methods. I will direct your attention to the banner at the top of your screen. Fire***s are the best option in my opinion, but we can't talk about them....which makes absolutely no sense.

[ReineD]

Well Jessica, there are tons of people who shop the malls, walk downtown with their kids, go to the Dairy Queen for a banana split, ladies who have luncheons, students who go to libraries, kids who see movies, who don't even think about the possibility of being attacked by someone with a firearm. Yes, there is always the possibility just as there is of getting run over by a car. But the possibility is remote just so long as you don't hang out where you're not supposed to.

So. Since we can't stay away from focusing on the need to carry firearms, I'm closing the thread. We don't want to scare poor Emmi to death and also, I think all the advice that anyone can possibly give has been posted anyway.

Emmi, I hope you're received the answers you were looking for.

Thread closed.