Purge how far to go...occupations?

[JamieQ]

Purging? I don't think it will work for 99.9% of us. If we so-call purge I think the "urge" will come back stronger than before. I envy the younger people. Years ago (even as few as 10yrs. ago), there weren't near as many resources of information on CDing or TGing, or wherever one falls into along this spectrum...
you young ones are luckier today than some of us older ones. There's so much more available and alot more acceptance today, but still a long ways to go.

Now , back to occupations. I have took on some manly occupations and looks in the past trying to suppress the CD. It just doesn't work. I have been an MP with a mostache. I have cut tobacco while with a beard. I have done bodywork (I mean cars!). I currently farm. I have logged, butchered, carpentered, painted houses (I think GGs are the best at it), done machinist work, and it goes on and on... I am now in RN school which may be considered by some a bit wimpy, but more men are getting into it now a days. What I am trying to say is that I think now matter what you do, including occupations, that CDing just can't really be suppressed.. so why even bother purging. You most likley will regret it in the long run. Just a little bit of my opinion and exerience I want to share. Amanda

[Kaz]

Once a CD always a CD I am afraid! It took me most of my life to fathom it out! Nowadays i just accept who I am and enjoy! But I wish I was in my twenties again! I'd do a lot differently given the resources available now!

[JamieQ]

Yes... I afgree! The younger ones have a distinct advantage now a days. I would do things very differently if I were 20 again. Amanda

[Kate Simmons]

I've always admired folks who farm Hon. It is damn hard work. That doesn't necessarily mean that we aren't interested in who we are as a person and expressing that though. All professions are honorable as long as we give our work our best efforts. Hell, I used to be a chemical operator for a large pharmaceutical firm. It was traditionally a "man" job but then in the mid 1970's a lot of women started doing that job. They figured out how to accomplish the work without using a lot of "muscle" and I learned a great deal from them. This is why I respect everyone for who they are as a person. As far as I'm concerned there are no "wimpy" jobs per se and with the job market so lean these days, who can really afford to pick and choose?

In any case, you don't have to prove you are a "man" by purging. Just be yourself my friend and find joy in that.

[Joanne f]

Yes you are right about it being different in the past , the younger ones can be more open with their friends about it when my so called friends found out about me , well that was the last i saw of them , you are also right about the purging , it just does not work , not that I have done it as I find it hard enough to get rid of my old stuff that needs to go .
About the jobs, I can understand what you are saying trying to bury your feminine side by doing that type of work but that does not really work and if you think about it, it is not unusual for females to do that type of work now and I am sure they are not trying to bury their feminine side so that will never work , so good or bad if you are CD or TG it is there to stay

[Cheryl T]

Those younger girls just starting out are greeted by a wealth of information that I would have given anything for at that age.

As for occupations...it doesn't matter. I know police officers, border guards, ex-military, and a host of other "manly" occupations. It doesn't change who you are inside. It just masks it for a while to those around us and to ourselves if we are still struggling with all the guilt and shame that many of us grew up with.

[Piora]

Once a CD always a CD I am afraid! It took me most of my life to fathom it out! Nowadays i just accept who I am and enjoy! But I wish I was in my twenties again! I'd do a lot differently given the resources available now!

I hear that, Kaz! I'd love to have been in tune with who I am while I was in my twenties. Since I really suppressed my desires until my late thirties, it still took me a long time to get to where I am today at 60. Oh, to have those years back again.....

Purging, yes Amanda it does NOT work for the vast majority of us. I did it about 11 years ago, and managed to go about 5 years before it came back full steam ahead!

Fight the Urge to Purge! Stash.....don't trash!

[gender_blender]

Very true. Many CDs come to me describing their past attempts to suppress their feminine urges (military service being the most common), which only works with those who wish to be unhappy for the rest of their lives. I have never purged or suppressed these feelings and fully encourage everyone to pursue their feelings (within reason of course).

[Foxglove]

Yes, I've purged. It felt like I was purging myself. I've decided not to do that any more.

I've also done all sorts of jobs in my life--some "manly" and some for everybody. It doesn't matter what you do. What matters is who you are, and you are always you.

Best wishes, Annabelle

[NicoleScott]

AmandaQ, it sounds to me like you are all man.........a man who likes to crossdress. That doesn't make you less of a man. I have had several jobs, and in several different industries, but I never considered my crossdressing when applying, accepting or working in those jobs. It's just a separate part of my life. I have purged - 3 times - the last (and final) almost 20 years ago. Purging, and trying to suppress the urge to dress, just never worked for me. Or many others.

[paulaloha]

AmandaQ that is awesome that you are going to nursing school! That is one of the things I'm considering doing with my life right now. I definitely classify as one of the younger ones here, at 22 I'm near the bottom of the list. Your thoughts on purging are so true, I have tried purging twice before, both accounts failed miserably at getting rid of my "problem". Since then I have come to terms with myself and realized it's not my problem at all, it is, as so many others are saying, who I am. I'm not ashamed of that anymore.

Thanks for the thoughts and encouraging words!

Paula

[April_Ligeia]

I am a nurse and work in people's homes. You can safely laugh at anyone who calls it 'wimpy,' i'd l like to see them work the hours I do and go into the neighborhoods I go into. I also love watching macho men flush pale when you start an IV in their arm...

[Stephanie47]

As a child of the 1950's and 1960's there was absolutely no information available for teenagers to research sexuality. The Kinsey Report was sequestered behind the head librarian's desk. Cross dressers grew up thinking they were 'faggots.' The word gay had not yet been co-opted by the homosexual community. Of course, this lead to self loathing and hatred. Even today the non cross dressing community thinks cross dressing is related to homosexuality. The only people interested in researching cross dressing are cross dressers. Yes, I wish I was in my twenties now, instead of my sixties. I was fortunate that I never really purged too much and only once. I bought a dress to wear while my wife was visiting family for two weeks. I tossed it before she got back. Not because of self loathing. I just did not want to have it found. Things have changed for me. Although I live in a DADT marital relationship, I bought my 82 nd dress this week. Progress!

As to jobs. Frankly, I do not think men look for a 'manly' job. Men go to where the $$$ are. They seek the higher paying jobs in order to support themselves and family (and buy 82 dresses). "Traditional" jobs for females did not pay well. So, females now want to enter the 'manly' fields. Women traditionally entered the field of nursing. With the advent of a lot of technology in the medical field and the aging of the nursing workforce, there is a lack of skilled nursing and the pay is good. So, I expect men to head there. Unfortunately, not even women wear those cute nursing dresses any more. Last night my wife and I went to a Mexican restaurant. The waitstaff is now 100% Mexican male because the economy has drawn men to the high tips and employment. I'll wait for the return of those cute Mexican girls in their long ethnic dresses. Men and women want jobs that pay the best money.

Even if cross dressing was 100% acceptable, I would still want a 'manly' job. It is only my fantasy to don a white blouse and black skirt with four inch black heels to be employed as a "waitdress." I think I just coined a new cross dressing term!

[Anna Lorree]

I grew up on a dairy farm, I have logged redwoods, I hunt, I have worked in a metal fabrication shop, worked a warehouse, been a factory/machine repair person, and for the past 15 years I have made my living in the fire service. I know I'm not a manly man, in fact I lean more toward the TS side (Harry Benjamin Scale 4). When I was "just" dressing from time to time, I tried purging due to my shame. I am over that, all it did was waste my money. It never cured or fixed anything. I am still the same person, trying to figure out how to live outside society's margins.

Anna

[mykhelee]

Purging is a temporary solution at best....I have performed several drastic purges over the years.....the last one hurt the most...had to relocate in a hurry
I have worked in pipefitting, building repair, equipment repair etc. I worked physically demanding jobs for over 20 years and the only thing the work did was make it so I could not underdress at work. When I worked a suit and tie, jacket job I often wore pantyhose and cami's under my workclothes.
You will always regret the purge later, as you are buying the fourth pair of black four inch pumps you have bought as the other three pair were purged.
Peace,
Khelli

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I have purged three times over my 56 years and after every time I was miserable within days of doing it. If I were twenty right now or I could go back in time I would become Sandra full time. The times have changed enough to be able to be who we want to be but my life has changed and wouldn't allow the full time conversion. Oh to be twenty again!!!!

[~Joanne~]

I have also purged many times. I'd kill to have even some of the things I threw out back lol Purging is you trying to convince yourself that you are getting rid of the urge by not having anything around that will remind you. It doesn't work. Never has, never will. It's a part of YOU that you can not escape no matter how hard you try. I suggest for those that want to try and purge to just pack everything into a box or bin and put it in the garage or attic. It will save you a small fortune in the future.

The whole occupation thing is also the same as purging, it doesn't work either but at last you gain some skills along the way

[TeresaL]

I have purged countless times in the last fifteen years to satisfy the demands of my SO. Recently, I lost a lot of leg hair since having been prescribed Finasteride for enlarged prostate. Four weeks ago I shaved the remnant of mangy hair off my legs and purchased some articles of women's clothes along with a small amount of makeup. My SO found out, then gave me the umpteenth most unpleasant and angry lecture before sending me off to the dumpster to purge my possessions of this dread "choice" that I have made.

Funny thing, I don't remember a list of things to choose from before concluding that being a TG person is the thing I want. But it keeps coming back.

[Foxglove]

Teresa, I suppose it's not for me to say, but that doesn't really sound like the happiest of situations.

Annabelle

[Shananigans]

I'm in a bachelor's RN program...it's definitely not wimpy.

But, I did tell a nurse to grow a backbone the other day.

I had a really good laugh at a thread where a few CDs said their dream job would be to be a "sexy nurse." I would love them for them to shadow me.

I also am considering taking the CRNA route, and one of the guys in my nursing school informed me that it was the male dominated side of nursing. (Maybe he was trying to persuade me into not applying since I am smarter than him hehehe). Not a single male CRNA works at the place where I am shadowing CRNAs this summer. Lol the male nurses work in dialysis. So much for stereotypes.

[Brittany CD]

I'm often seen as a fairly manly guy and I'm a CD. I've never felt that a guy who is masculine will never have the urge to put on a dress and wig.

[Ramie]

Fight the Urge to Purge! Stash.....don't trash![/QUOTE]

This I totally agree with! While I'm wondering if I can even consider myself a CD with no allotted time to dress, I think I'll put stuff away, not throw it away!

[Lesley_Roberta]

Forgive me lack of knowledge. I take it 'purge' means throw out anything connected to cross dressing?

I'm a Scot, cheap *******s I never throw out anything I paid good money for hehe.

The only thing I'd like to purge, is the male portion of my anatomy. I'd even settle for being a nothing, no male parts and no female parts if I had to.

Right now, the one thing I am having trouble NOT throwing out is Leslie's stuff. NO YOU CAN'T THROW OUT MY WARGAMES WOMAN!, is something I get from him a lot.
Having a lot of trouble relating to his things lately.

[Piora]

Forgive me lack of knowledge. I take it 'purge' means throw out anything connected to cross dressing?

Yep. Supposedly, there are those of us who do so, thinking that by doing that, it will stop the urge to crossdress - I mean, how could you dress anymore, if you have no feminine attire? After all, that's how you stop smoking, right? Throw away your ciggies? Yeah, THAT'S how you do it!

It rarely ever works. If it's in our blood, it has no effect really - other than to waste money, and have us mourning all the one-of-a-kind items that we'll never find again, in this lifetime.