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Thread: Goodbye friend

  1. #1
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    Goodbye friend

    Elevon years ago I lost my wife to cancer. It was a long battle and the only escape I had was to crossdress. As time dragged on I became more and more enveloped in the pink fog. One of my sisters sat me down and had a long serious talk with me. I told her about the dressing and the relief it gave me and she worked with me for months helping me to get a handle on the situation. She finally gave me a Wrottwieler puppy and a "suck it up" talk and I started to recover. For eleven years the dog and I were inseperable. The CD remained but was controlable. Untill last week. My best friend died. Now I'm sitting here in a new dress because it helps me past the pain. I'm not a smart person so I don't know what the connection is but I'm glad I have some way to keep going.

  2. #2
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    Sad to hear of your loss, and not wishing to diminish the worth of your friend, but (and I say this cautiously so not to say it the wrong way), you can always rescue a potential new friend that might also be in great need of you as well at the pound. Give it some thought.

  3. #3
    Junior Member Shannon C.'s Avatar
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    Im so sorry to hear about your loss. I sometimes think that when things feel out of control that dressing is comforting because it is something that I can control. Im glad that your crossdressing gives you the strength to keep going.

  4. #4
    Silver Member Jonianne's Avatar
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    I'm sorry Donna. As was mentioned before, maybe a new best friend needs you now, too.
    Joni

    "Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free" Bob Dylan

  5. #5
    Slip Into Something Femme Piora's Avatar
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    I'm so very sorry, Donna. I know what it's like to lose a friend like that. The popular thought is to go out and get another dog almost right away. It's something that has been suggested to me at similar times, but I've never actually done that.

    I also understand how CDing gives you comfort. It has done so for me at different times in my life. As long as you don't allow it to become a crutch, and to the point where you end up over the top - you should be just fine.

    And I don't believe for one second that you are "not a smart person" at all. I'm sure that very very few of us on here have a single CLUE about WHY we dress....we just do. The reasons matter not.....but how it makes us feel....does.

    Again, I'm sorry for your loss.
    "Taking the time to be in touch with my feminine side"

  6. #6
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    You will never replace your friend. With time you may find a new one that will make the pain diminish. 11 is a good long age for a Rottie. I am sure you were the best pet parent. Sorry for your loss
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
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    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  7. #7
    Senior Member Laura912's Avatar
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    There is comfort in dressing and you could use some right now. At times it is like a place in the woods or beside a lake or on a mountain top...removed from the anguish. Let the sorrow come so that soon the peaks of it can wear down to smaller hills. Maybe, a bit into the future, you could look for another friend but for now, you have us. Best wishes.

  8. #8
    Emerging Diva Nikki A.'s Avatar
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    I lost my wife almost 5 yrs ago. I have 2 dogs that are 17 & 18 yrs old so I know it's only a matter of time till they are gone too. Cding is also a refuge to me also and while I do love my two pets I'm not sure if I will replace them, I am looking for a little less responsibility. The one good thing is (or bad thing regarding my dressing) is that my son will be moving back home after graduation in that he got a job in the area. I guess its time to tell him about Nikki in that it may be too hard to hide what I feel.

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member ronda's Avatar
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    Donna sorry for the lose of your best friend i lost my two friends about two years ago a month a part had them for 14 years then i lost my very best friend and love of my life my wife this past January and the cross dressing has been a comfort to me the last few months but life must go on for the family hope you come out the other side stronger
    hugs
    Ronda

  10. #10
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    sorry

    Honey I'm so sorry. I had to have my best friend down a few months ago. I didn't think I'd be able to cope but, a friend told me to think of the good times. I did and now I don't cry as much. If dressing helps "you go girl". And you have someone to talk to. Thank God for friends.

  11. #11
    trans punk Badtranny's Avatar
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    awwwww Donna, my heart hurts for you. Back in 2005 I lost my little buddy Zowie unexpectedly and I must have cried for two weeks. I couldn't even think about another dog for a looooong time. I promise it'll pass though. I only think about him fondly now and the pain is just a memory.
    Quote Originally Posted by STACY B
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  12. #12
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    Hi Donna, About six years ago within a month of each other I carried two dogs in to
    the vets for thiere last trip that was the hardest thing that I ever had to do.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  13. #13
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    My sincere sympathy Donna

    To say I know how you feel about the loss of your friend sounds trite but I have lost several canine friends myself. They are the most faithful and adoring of friends, never judgmental or selfish, just pure love and adoration.

    My sincere sympathy,
    Sandra1746

  14. #14
    70's Supermodel RiverdanceGirl's Avatar
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    Donna, losing a furry four legged friend is sometimes one of the hardest things to get through. Last year I lost my Libby. She was a beautiful red tabby and we were pretty much inseperable. We only had 7 years together. She wasn't a cat, she was a tiny four legged human being. You need time to grieve. Just remember that you received a lot of love from your dog, but your dog received a lot of love from you. You were both lucky to have each other. I'd love to get another cat. She wouldn't be Libby, but because I loved Libby so much I'm willing to try again if only to respect her memory. Unfortunately I'm in a democratic household and I'm outvoted. The pain doesn't fade quickly. I've soaked 8 kleenexs just writing this. But you will get through. If new dresses are helping you right now, don't guilt yourself about it, it's okay.

  15. #15
    Just a girl at heart too Kerigirl2009's Avatar
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    I am so sorry for your loss, I too lost my dog at 14 1/2 years. I brought him to my dads lake and placed him in his favorite blanket and then had a custom headstone made out of granite ( my dad made it) Gives me peace to know his resting place was a place he enjoyed. I wish you well
    Keri
    I wish I had the courage to just be myself and live my life how I want

  16. #16
    Gold Member Diane Smith's Avatar
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    I feel your pain. My buddy Java is 13 now, and literally helped me survive two of the most traumatic events in my life -- recovery from open heart surgery in 2001, and the death of my mother in 2005. I understand that he may not have a great deal of time left and I will be inconsolable when he is gone. I join you in grieving for the loss of your friend.

    - Diane

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member Teddie's Avatar
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    I've lost seven friends like this, and it very hard. They are family. I find a lot of comfort in this poem The Rainbow Bridge Poem
    Hugs,

    Teddie

  18. #18
    Silver Member Tina B.'s Avatar
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    Sorry for your lose, Donna, it's been around 15 years since I lost my best Friend, neither I nor the wife have ever thought of trying to replace her, the loss was just to hard on us, I still miss that damn dog.
    Dressing is solace for many, enjoy it, as we say over here, if it feels good, do it! What ever gets you through the night.
    Tina B.
    Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.

  19. #19
    Aspiring Member Vieja's Avatar
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    There are so many of us here who know what it is to lose a friend and we also know that kind words only help a little. My dog Taffy is getting along and it's a toss up as to who

    will go first. I say I will never get another dog but I know I am lying. I don 't believe my cross dressing is tied in any way to the loss of my wife or any pets. It just is and I will

    enjoy it as long as I can.


    Vieja

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