My so picked out a dress and shoes to buy but why am i not comfortable wearing them and for the last couple of weeks finding it hard to dress even though its ok with her, go figure i am sure a lot off girls out there would be happy to be in my situation.confusion?
It depends on whether the lack of interest in dressing is related to your SO or simply part of the natural ebb and flow of dressing.
If it's the former, then talking openly about it with your SO may help. If it's the latter, then just let the dressing go for the time being. Chances are the urge will return.
Hi sandi.
Is it a nice out? Maybe you don't like it cause your s.o. picked it out? Maybe the thrill of dressing is lacking because of conflicting interests. Then again mayby just a dry spell. Your not to clear on your fellings,but I am sure it will all come back together for you.
Maybe it's a style issue? Not something you would ever wear. but since SO picked out, would probably take as a wound if you never wear it. My solution is to always wear at least once and naturally there are those that don't fit right, but still struggle and try to participate and then,to the bottom of the pile it goes, and after a bit it's out of here
Hi Sandie,
I took a moment to read over you past posts and this ebb and flow tends to be a constant in your life which I truly believe has to do with a sense of guilt you experience. Specifically, you have a wonderful and loving wife who supports your dressing on several levels which is a great thing. So you dress and feel good which tends to be followed by a period of feeling sad because you feel as though you may be putting your wife through a rough time. This sense of guilt is a common theme and it makes sense if you are a male identified CD in that you want your wife to see you as the same man she married but that might seem difficult if you are wearing a dress and heels she picked out for you. So an internal struggle ensues, I dress because I feel good but I feel bad because I feel as though I am hurting the one I love.
My advice would be to talk to your wife and explain your feelings and find out what her feelings are. From all you wrote in your posts I don't think she has a big problem with your dressing and tends to support you quite openly. Communication is the surest way to deal with this one IMHO.
Cheers
Marcelle
cheryl's comment about the ebb and flow of dressing resonated with me.
i find it hard work to be a woman and not let myself get sloppy and revert to flip flops, baby blue leisure suit with no make up [example only]
my wife keeps suggesting items for her wardrobe.....why not try this one....i for one feel also most an immediate negative knee jerk reaction ...they look good on her but i have my own style.
just yesterday she told me she bid $37 on ebay [and won] for a red silk blouse for me for the holidays....what i can i say....but i hope i like it.
I have always felt that the urge to dress is cyclical. It does not mean I won't when not feeling the urge, but when the urge is upon me, I MUST. So maybe you are just in a low ebb. No need to force anything. i would wait and see. This is about feeling good about yourself and every facet of you so don't feel bad about not wanting to dress sometimes.
Without a lot of background information, it's hard to give meaningful advice, but having a girlfriend or wife buy feminine clothes for you (mine does) is something we all would like. It's a sign of acceptance.
Sandie,
I have been through a few flat spots like you describe, I soon bounce out of it though.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Definitely confusion...
Don't pressure yourself - your happiness will return and with it the urge to express your feminine side.
Keep Calm & Carry On!
Katey x
"Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear" Stefani Germanotta
I like Cheryl's and Marcelle's comments. I personally have days of desire for either side and let them express when appropriate. Your SO seems supportive, give her equal consideration and share your feelings. Perhaps she has insight into your feelings, experiences, etc. Or you are personally struggling, all I know is having a shoulder to lean on is wonderful, so avail yourself of it.
Sandie,
I would say it's a more complex answer than you'd expect.
Some say it's the wax and wane of CDing, I've not known it personally but it does happen to many.
I find it's a bigger buzz to scource my own clothes, but I also like being given them by my wife or more recently my counsellor because I feel it's an intimate thing I'm sharing with them.
Also I posted a thread some time ago about calling your bluff. Your wife/partner finally relents and lets you dress in front of them so you've got what you wanted, now what ? You look like a woman so what do you want to do now ? I guess that can be deflating, the buzz has gone so what do you do ? You know you feel better inside but how do you describe the feeling to a sceptic ?
Thanks everyone think your replies are close to accurate, things in our life have been hectic with visitors and something stopping me from sandie time and it all seems to hard.but i think i am getting back on track,thanks for your replies.
Sandie,
From what you've said it sounds like it is the natural ebb and flow. However, could it also be that you like picking your own clothes? I don't know about you. Me? I'm kinda contrary that way. My wife has given up trying to either buy (male) clothes for me or take me shopping for clothes.
Mind you, many of us would give our eye teeth to have a wife who is as supportive as yours. But then you already know that!
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