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Thread: Questions for F t M

  1. #1
    Gold Member Julie York's Avatar
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    Questions for F t M

    Hi guys,
    I have a few questions for you. I am genuinely curious and it would be interesting to flush out a few FtM on here. (You are all so shy! POST DAMMIT! POST! It's FUN!!)

    Male to Female CDs. PLEASE don't hijack this thread. You have enough of your own! Contributions are welcome if it directly relates to the questions, say, if you have a FtM friend. Thank you.

    These are questions that we CDs get asked a lot, so forgive me if they have been asked to death already but I haven't seen them in this section.

    (If you want to split them up Eddie, to make it more lively, just split away.)

    o.k.!! So....


    1) When did you first think you would like to be a boy, or became aware that you were attracted to 'boy stuff' and dressing as a boy, more than was usual?


    2) Do Female to Males have a 'thing' about the clothing? Most Male to female CDs have what is known as 'paraphilia' which is basically a bit of a hangup on a particular article of female clothing, panties, shoes, stockings etc. Does this apply to F t M and if so what's your 'thing'.? Boxer shorts? Brogue shoes? Ties?

    3) If you are not fully out as a CD then what do you have to do secretly which other people might frown on if they knew. For me it is obviously the dressing up bit. But what about you? What aspect of being a CD do you have to hide?

    4) What do you most like about men and what gives you the most pleasure when presenting yourself as one?

    5) Why is there a funny smell in my kitchen? (optional question.)

    Thanks.

    JY

  2. #2
    Action crossdresser Marlena Dahlstrom's Avatar
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    Not to hijack the thread -- since I'd also love to hear answers to the questions Julie posed -- but I thought people might be interested in the work of transman Aaron Devor who has spent his career studying FTMs. Dr. Devor's work is quite readable for an academic.

    Transman Raven Kaldera also has a couple really interesting essays: Feminist on Testosterone: The View From An Intersexual FTM and When Sex is A Drag (Part 3). (The latter deals with "fetishistic transvestite" aspects among some FTMs and lesbians, so if you're shy, you have been warned. ) BTW, Kaldera's other "When Sex is a Drag" essays are well worth reading, but that's a different discussion.
    Lena

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  3. #3
    oysters = kneecaps Abraxas's Avatar
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    Okay I read this right before I had to go to classes, but I'm home for now, so let's just delve right in, eh?

    1) When did you first think you would like to be a boy, or became aware that you were attracted to 'boy stuff' and dressing as a boy, more than was usual?

    Erm... I can't say there was an exact point where I became aware of all that... My personality has always been a mixture of male and female. While I do (and have always) have many male tendencies and methods of thought, I do have a very strong nurturing, loving side. I love little kids and stuff, and feel a need to be protective of them.
    However, there was a definite exact point where I realised I would definitely prefer to be male. I remember it was just before my fourth grade year (so I would have been 8 or 9), and I just thought to myself this exact sentence: "I wanna be a boy. But then, I'd have to be gay cos I like boys." I'd had thoughts about it well before then, but that was the first point at which I formulated a real idea about my persona.

    2) Do Female to Males have a 'thing' about the clothing? Most Male to female CDs have what is known as 'paraphilia' which is basically a bit of a hangup on a particular article of female clothing, panties, shoes, stockings etc. Does this apply to F t M and if so what's your 'thing'.? Boxer shorts? Brogue shoes? Ties?

    Well, I can't speak for everybody, but I don't really... I mean, I have specific tastes. I have a thing about underpants (I love looking at bio guys in their underwear-- also something I'm willing to admit that I really fancy looking at blokes in nothing but pantyhose!). I like certain underpants... My black FCUK slightly skimpy briefs are fantastic. It's not about the feel, though, it's all about the look. I like skimpy briefs (though I don't usually wear them-- a pair of Calvins or Jockeys will do me fine) and boxer-briefs/ trunk briefs. Not into boxer shorts myself, though I've been known to wear them.
    I also have a thing for black dress shoes. Mostly old- style Oxfords or button- shoes.
    And... nicely- fitting boot cut jeans (I have a fantastic pair of Levi boot cuts) and Levi 501 buttonflys (in black, of course). I like tight jeans that show off all the right parts. And suits. Black pinstriped suits (I should be getting one soon) or more brightly coloured (electric blue or maroon) suits.
    I'm also really into the whole rock/ heavy metal look-- leather trousers and waistcoats, etc. And retro- Victorian stuff- Captains jackets with gold chains and stuff. Think Michael Jackson, David Bowie, Yngwie Malmsteen, and especially Queen.

    3) If you are not fully out as a CD then what do you have to do secretly which other people might frown on if they knew. For me it is obviously the dressing up bit. But what about you? What aspect of being a CD do you have to hide?

    The only thing I really worry about is which loo to go into to avoid the management being called! I try not to go into public loos if I can help it... I generally use the mens now (but there are few places I go-- the club I do comedy at, which is a single, hospitals which are also usually singles, and the occasional petrol station). But if I'm with family it's a bit difficult, because, while they're fully aware that I'm TG I still think they'd be uncomfortable if I went into the mens (and no WAY would I go in with my dad or brother-- that'd be too weird). Also I don't make it too terribly obvious which people know/ don't know my physical sex, if I'm talking about experiences and stuff.

    4) What do you most like about men and what gives you the most pleasure when presenting yourself as one?

    God, I dunno... The look I guess. I've never really sat down and thought about why I like/ admire men so much. All I know is that I've always had a much stronger attraction towards men than women, whether as friends, or just when I'm people- watching. Not sure exactly what it is.

    5) Why is there a funny smell in my kitchen? (optional question.)

    Have you emptied the bin?
    Yes-- socks! Run out again! Why is it that no matter how many millions of pairs of socks I buy, I never seem to have any? They just... disappear. Honestly, you'd think someone was coming in here, stealing the damn things, and selling them off. . . For me, socks are like sex: tons of it about, and I never seem to get any.


  4. #4
    Junior Member Puer's Avatar
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    Julie - I do post, honest ... I even sneak in and post on the MTF board once in a while! Here's my latest one.....

    1) When did you first think you would like to be a boy, or became aware that you were attracted to 'boy stuff' and dressing as a boy, more than was usual?

    It was in my early-mid teens (back in the late 70's) and is linked to my realisation that I fancied girls. Somehow I decided that life would be much easier if I was a bloke 'cos then it would be ok to 'like' girls and far simpler for them to like me back. At that point I seriously thought about becoming male, but have since realised that it isn't what I actually want. I ultimately came to the conclusion that it was ok to want relationships with women - it's called being a lesbian

    My public dress style has always been fairly butch - hefty shoes, trousers, shirts, waistcoats, etc but tailored for women - and I've actually spent a number of years where that has been enough. There are other periods, like now, where it's not sufficient and I have to go the whole hog in private and wear men's clothes, pack and apply facial hair.

    2) Do Female to Males have a 'thing' about the clothing? Most Male to female CDs have what is known as 'paraphilia' which is basically a bit of a hangup on a particular article of female clothing, panties, shoes, stockings etc. Does this apply to F t M and if so what's your 'thing'.? Boxer shorts? Brogue shoes? Ties?

    I wouldn't say I have a particular hangup about any particular item of clothing. In male mode my style tends to be fairly smart - business suit, tie, shiny black shoes, etc - but I don't think I have a thing about any of them. But then again the shoes do have to be shiny ..... and I bought the most fabulous trilby last week!

    What I do like though is the way I look with my hair slicked back, moustache and sideburns. Would that count as paraphilia?

    3) If you are not fully out as a CD then what do you have to do secretly which other people might frown on if they knew. For me it is obviously the dressing up bit. But what about you? What aspect of being a CD do you have to hide?

    I am only out as a cd to 3 people in real life - 2 of them are therapists and the third dropped me as a friend a few months after I told her. So, what do I have to hide about it? Everything! Why? 'Cos I don't want to risk more rejection by people I care about.

    I do wear a relatively masculine form of female clothes most of the time and people are used to that and mostly fine about it (my mum would like me to wear skirts and heels and be more girlie once in a while ). However, the very male stuff stays in the privacy of my own home. Well, I do let him out into the garden once in a while but usually only after dark

    4) What do you most like about men and what gives you the most pleasure when presenting yourself as one?

    This is a difficult one to answer - I actually have very few men involved in my life. I do like being able to have practical conversations with men, whether it be diy, gardening, IT, how stuff works, sci-fi, etc, etc. I'm not good at the 'what's going on in your life', 'how are you feeling', sharing innermost secrets type of chats that a lot of women are expert at. (Whispering - I also find gay male porn a turn on. Can't even being to explain that one.)

    What gives me pleasure presenting as a man is the way it makes me feel. I find that I walk taller and I feel more comfortable, able to cope and calmer in myself. I like the way I look when dress and wish I did have the courage to go public. Using facial hair gives my features more definition and I reckon it suits me (one day I may get round to posting some pics to see if you all agree). I particularly like having a flat chest and a bulge in my trousers !!!!!!!!!!

    5) Why is there a funny smell in my kitchen? (optional question.)

    It's probably something to do with all the stuff you are keeping in case it comes in useful. It's best to avoid doing this with perishable items.

    Darla - thanks for the links. I'll take a look at them when I've got a bit more time to spare.

    Got to go and have a rest now - all this sharing is soooo tiring.
    Last edited by Puer; 09-29-2005 at 12:03 PM.
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  5. #5
    Swishy Pirate CaptLex's Avatar
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    Hi, Julie:

    Great post by the way. Let's see if I can answer all these . . .

    1) When did you first think you would like to be a boy, or became aware that you were attracted to 'boy stuff' and dressing as a boy, more than was usual?

    My first memory of such is when I was in kindergarten (4 1/2 years old) and I kept gravitating towards the boys and their toys because they seemed more interesting to me and their toys were more fun. The teacher kept re-directing me back to play with the girls and their toys (sexist, now that I realize), but I was upset because I felt more comfortable with the boys and their toys. I also remember identifying more with my father, male cousins, uncles, etc. than with the female members of my family from very early on.


    2) Do Female to Males have a 'thing' about the clothing? Most Male to female CDs have what is known as 'paraphilia' which is basically a bit of a hangup on a particular article of female clothing, panties, shoes, stockings etc. Does this apply to F t M and if so what's your 'thing'.? Boxer shorts? Brogue shoes? Ties?

    This one is easy for me to answer. I absolutely love ties! All kinds of ties: regular ties, bow ties, bolo ties, string ties, etc. I absent-mindedly gravitate toward ties in the windows of men stores all the time and practically drool. I recently bought a couple of nice ones at a really great sale and can't wait to wear them.


    3) If you are not fully out as a CD then what do you have to do secretly which other people might frown on if they knew. For me it is obviously the dressing up bit. But what about you? What aspect of being a CD do you have to hide?

    I guess my answer would be about the same as yours. For work and most social occasions I usually wear clothes that are semi masculine, but made for women, but only feel comfortable wearing real boys clothes when I go out with the one friend who knows about my cross-dressing (unless it's like Halloween or something like that).


    4) What do you most like about men and what gives you the most pleasure when presenting yourself as one?

    Excellent question - really made me think. I like how much easier it is for me to talk to a man than to a woman, and how I can always get an honest, direct answer. Also, it seems much harder to hurt their feelings - they don't seem to take things as personally. And, of course, I still think they have the coolest toys.

    When I present myself as one, I feel cool, confident and less intimidated by other men. Hmmm . . . never really thought about that before though.


    5) Why is there a funny smell in my kitchen? (optional question.)

    Your kitchen sounds like mine - I keep thinking something crawled into the wall and died.


    Thanks for the link, Darla, I will definitely check that out.

    By the way, Puer, I'm also turned on by gay male porn, but then I'm straight, so maybe that's not so strange for me after all . . . although male/female porn doesn't really do anything for me . . . go figure.
    But why is the rum gone?! - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl[/SIZE]

    Why is the rum always gone? - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest[/SIZE]

    Why is all but the rum gone? No, the rum's gone too . . .
    - [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: At World End[/SIZE]

    [SIZE="3"]Lex on the Beach[/SIZE]. . . [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #6
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    1) When did you first think you would like to be a boy, or became aware that you were attracted to 'boy stuff' and dressing as a boy, more than was usual?

    In elementary school. At least that's when I realized I like playing with boys (but sucks at sports) more than with girls. As for the clothing at that point, mostly neutral. I started getting serious with the dress code only in the recent year.


    2) Do Female to Males have a 'thing' about the clothing? Most Male to female CDs have what is known as 'paraphilia' which is basically a bit of a hangup on a particular article of female clothing, panties, shoes, stockings etc. Does this apply to F t M and if so what's your 'thing'.? Boxer shorts? Brogue shoes? Ties?

    For me it has always been about utility. But, because of the "outfit stereotype" for the male and female groups, I (shallow) would be moved to choose one type over the other, even against the utilitarian principle sometimes (buying expensive men attire, etc.). Otherwise no "thing". Heck, I'd rather walk around wearing only pants (ONLY IF I got a man's chest )!


    3) If you are not fully out as a CD then what do you have to do secretly which other people might frown on if they knew. For me it is obviously the dressing up bit. But what about you? What aspect of being a CD do you have to hide?

    In that case I might just be regarded as a tomboy or a radical or a lesbian... So it's generally uncomfortable for everyone overall. In reality, I'm "fulltime", thus must deal with the bathroom problem, as well as double-takes when I'm outted.


    4) What do you most like about men and what gives you the most pleasure when presenting yourself as one?

    The sense of confidence, and that "presence". I once heard that a transitioning MtF experienced a period of time when she's becoming more vulnerable to mood swings, and commented that it could have been the testosterone that was kind of shielding the petty stuff of life. Suppose I'm just a misguided immature young person, I still would like to achieve that state of confident composure. Can't be bothered.
    I love it when people just give me the respectable distance while thinking I'm a guy (can't explain it, just feels different than when they don't).

  7. #7
    mitch
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    1: Well as far back as I can remember I was always geared to the male side, from playing Gi Joes to making out with the neighbor girls, then when the lovely puberty hit all my best friends were male and we chased the females.
    up until about 2 months ago I thought I was just a tg lesbian and I was ok with that until I had some issues in the female department, I had my first ever period when I was 25 OMG that is not a pleasant experience let me tell you so for every one whom has to endure that once a month I tip my hat to you. anyways test results came back last week and they discovered a very different result, I was born with XXY chromosomes which is rare in it self but even more rare because I normally is common in men, so theorectly other than the breast and vagina that's all I got out of the xx part, so I am actually both sexes legally.


    2:For me its all I know I was wearing boxers and boxer briefs since I was about 8 or so maybe younger and I have never really worn women's clothes ever to be honest so as far as having a special one I cant say because I never dressed any other way since back in the day I would say since I was about 2 actually

    3:Well as the answer to the first question, I don't have an issue with looking male because I produce testorone, But I do have breast and they are not small so I have some what of a deeper voice and I have a five o'clock shadow so my problem is I cant go to the women's bathroom even if I wanted to but yet my breast are the only indication to me being female and I am currently in the process of fixing that permently, But in the mean time trying to find a comfortable cheep way to bind them down.

    4: i really couldnt answer that lol

    5: maybe something died under it
    if your going to be something be good at it

  8. #8
    Swishy Pirate CaptLex's Avatar
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    Lightbulb

    Quote Originally Posted by morgantoy25
    test results came back last week and they discovered a very different result, I was born with XXY chromosomes which is rare in it self but even more rare because I normally is common in men, so theorectly other than the breast and vagina that's all I got out of the xx part, so I am actually both sexes legally.
    Wow, that's amazing! What made them test you?

    I don't have an extra chromosome (as far as I know), but I took female hormones for over a decade because of a condition called PCOS (poly-cystic ovary syndrome) which produces male hormones (androgens) and very painful ovarian cysts. Anyway, I didn't make the connection until recently (doh!), but those hormones suppressed my male side.

    I stopped taking the hormones almost a year ago and in a little over a month my "male side" returned, and so did my inclination to cross-dress (and my sex drive). My doctor says I should go back on the hormones because of health issues, but having re-discovered this side of me (which I thought was gone forever), I really don't want to.

    I promised her I'd think about it, but I don't really know how to explain to the doctor why I don't want them. I really don't think she'll understand.
    Last edited by CaptLex; 11-01-2005 at 10:23 AM.
    But why is the rum gone?! - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl[/SIZE]

    Why is the rum always gone? - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest[/SIZE]

    Why is all but the rum gone? No, the rum's gone too . . .
    - [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: At World End[/SIZE]

    [SIZE="3"]Lex on the Beach[/SIZE]. . . [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #9
    oysters = kneecaps Abraxas's Avatar
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    Well, Capt., if you're having health problems that's a different thing. Ican totally understand not wanting to lose the male side.

    Have you asked your doc if there's a way to correct these problems without taking female hormones? i.e. partial hysterectomy/ other kind of surgery, or something else? A different kind of medication, perhaps? Hell, maybe you could take androgyns to completely supress the female hormones. I'm not sure if that would work, but knowing what I do about medicine, it's a possibility that it could.
    On that same note, another one of my friends (from Blather, in fact) has, I believe, the same condition. I don't think she's on medication or hormones for it, but I could be wrong.


    I also have a question about that type of thing, but I'll put it in its own thread.
    Yes-- socks! Run out again! Why is it that no matter how many millions of pairs of socks I buy, I never seem to have any? They just... disappear. Honestly, you'd think someone was coming in here, stealing the damn things, and selling them off. . . For me, socks are like sex: tons of it about, and I never seem to get any.


  10. #10
    Swishy Pirate CaptLex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Abraxas
    Well, Capt., if you're having health problems that's a different thing. Ican totally understand not wanting to lose the male side.

    Have you asked your doc if there's a way to correct these problems without taking female hormones?
    I'm supposed to go back next month to run a few tests to see if my going off the pills have put me I'm at risk yet. I figured I'd wait for the test results before I decide. Basically, she told me I can try different pills or something called a cervical ring (which releases hormones) to see if they take care of the problem without making me feel "suppressed" (in so many ways). I don't like the idea of having to deal with the roller coaster ride of hormones again, until I find the right combination.

    Surgery is not an option for me - for other health issues (diabetes, mostly), so I have to really think about it and make a decision. In either case, I want to wait until I have all the information before I do that. I also realized that when my male side returned, my creative side also returned and I'm writing again after over a decade - I never thought one was connected to the other, but in my case I guess it is. I don't want to lose that again either.

    Thanks for your thoughts, I hope you are able to find inexpensive health care and take care of your problem. It sounds like something that should definitely be looked into.
    But why is the rum gone?! - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl[/SIZE]

    Why is the rum always gone? - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest[/SIZE]

    Why is all but the rum gone? No, the rum's gone too . . .
    - [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: At World End[/SIZE]

    [SIZE="3"]Lex on the Beach[/SIZE]. . . [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  11. #11
    New Member sammyboi's Avatar
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    1) When did you first think you would like to be a boy, or became aware that you were attracted to 'boy stuff' and dressing as a boy, more than was usual?

    I started to dress more like a boy about 2 years ago, and started to think about wanting to become one 6months ago. Although ever since a kid i've not been comfortable as a girl.


    2) Do Female to Males have a 'thing' about the clothing? Most Male to female CDs have what is known as 'paraphilia' which is basically a bit of a hangup on a particular article of female clothing, panties, shoes, stockings etc. Does this apply to F t M and if so what's your 'thing'.? Boxer shorts? Brogue shoes? Ties?

    I'm starting to have an obsession with ties, they make me more superior and to me makes me feel that bit more 'manly'. I also love wearing shirts, and boxers make me feel good too.

    3) If you are not fully out as a CD then what do you have to do secretly which other people might frown on if they knew. For me it is obviously the dressing up bit. But what about you? What aspect of being a CD do you have to hide?

    I always hide it when i'm packing, 'cos i know no-one would understand, plus it feels more personal, like its my own little secret.

    4) What do you most like about men and what gives you the most pleasure when presenting yourself as one?

    hmmm this is a hard one..... I like feeling safer as a guy, and feel like it gives me an automatic high, as if i see life from a different view and everyone sees me differently. Plus when i'm packing i feel like i can go out head held high feeling more superior. I guess there isnt really a definitive answer for me, i just feel better as a guy!

    5) Why is there a funny smell in my kitchen? (optional question.)

    Have you burnt something?

  12. #12
    Swishy Pirate CaptLex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lex
    My dad is pretty strict and narrow minded, so when I was told I couldn't do something because I was a girl it pissed me off so much . . . .
    Ditto for me. My father always wanted a son, and when he got (sort of) what he asked for (me) it didn't come packaged the way he wanted, so he rejected it. Ironic that he's very close to my sister who is very girly (I guess she acts the way a woman is "supposed" to act), and he and I have been estranged for a long time. He did teach me four important things though: (1) how to drive, (2) all about baseball, (3) how to mix a rum and Coke, and (4) how to tie a necktie (very important for me nowadays).

    Quote Originally Posted by Lex
    There isn't really a particular one type of clothing I obses over. Although, if I had a trench-coat I'd probably obsess over that.
    Trench coats are very cool - makes me think of Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca. But then you're probably too young to know what I mean.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lex
    I'm expected to tell them I'm female. Otherwise my older sister has to listen to "Does Alexis have something to tell me?" for the next few days.
    There's another thing we have in common - Alexis is my middle name.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lex
    Guys are more likely to do something incredibely stupid, which is ultimately incredibley fun. Guys also tend not to talk about stuff like clothes or makeup, which are conversations I am sick of.
    Yeah, I agree, guys are more fun. When I was in grade school and high school I hung out with the boys and they treated me like a buddy, which was cool. Nowadays I don't have any male friends (unless you count my cousin) because all their wives and girlfriends have a problem with it. They think I'm trying to steal their men, but I just want to hang out, have a beer, watch the game and talk about stuff other than relationships.

    By the way, if you think guys don't talk about clothes or makeup, you should read the posts on the Male to Female side of this forum.

    Thanks for sharing, Lex, it was very interesing reading.
    But why is the rum gone?! - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl[/SIZE]

    Why is the rum always gone? - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest[/SIZE]

    Why is all but the rum gone? No, the rum's gone too . . .
    - [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: At World End[/SIZE]

    [SIZE="3"]Lex on the Beach[/SIZE]. . . [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  13. #13
    oysters = kneecaps Abraxas's Avatar
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    I think the only thing my dad has ever taught me is poker. But, he's awesome and I can kick ass at it now!
    Oh, yeah, he did teach me to tie a necktie (it's pretty easy but I don't think online instruction would work!) when I was about 7.
    Yes-- socks! Run out again! Why is it that no matter how many millions of pairs of socks I buy, I never seem to have any? They just... disappear. Honestly, you'd think someone was coming in here, stealing the damn things, and selling them off. . . For me, socks are like sex: tons of it about, and I never seem to get any.


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