My wife has been very supportive of my crossdressing but is only comfortable with it if I stay at home. I have never been out of the house and wanted a chance go out. My counselor also thought that going to a support group would be beneficial to me. I found a local Tri-Ess group (Alpha Zeta) that was having a BBQ at someone’s house on Saturday and my wife agreed that we could go to the meeting. I had previously learned of a GG makeup artist who only worked on crossdressers, so my wife suggested that I make an appointment with her. We also scheduled an appointment with our counselor for the same day.
On Friday we went shopping and I got a new dress and a cardigan to cover my arms. I also booked a room at a hotel near the area of the meeting so that I wouldn’t have to come home dressed. I was very excited!
First we went to get my makeup done by a fantastic lady named Veronica. She has been doing makeup for over 20 years and only works on crossdressers. When not helping crossdressers, she takes donated wigs (usually from crossdressers) and gives free makeovers and wigs to cancer patients in hospitals. Veronica made me feel very comfortable and talked a lot about how to act while en femme. Some of the things we discussed were that the clothes and makeup are only a part of being able to pass. She said that the rest is in how I act. I usually don’t smile, and she told me that males often frown but females usually smile and are friendly, so she was constantly reminding me to smile. It actually wasn’t that difficult to smile because I was really enjoying it. Veronica also only referred to me as Stephanie and she which felt good. Once my makeup was complete, I got dressed and she styled my wig a couple of different ways. Then we took some photos. Without me asking, Angie decided to join me in a couple of the photos which made me very happy. If you are in the Phoenix area I would highly recommend Veronica. Send me a PM for her information.
We left Veronica and then went to visit our counselor. We have been seeing her for about a year and she has been great. This meeting was to help us with any anxiety we may have in me being out in public, but I also wanted her to see me as Stephanie. My counselor has taken me from someone with an enormous amount of guilt and shame, and helped me accept who I am. I’m not quite there yet but getting closer. This was an exciting day for me and I wanted to show her how I looked. On my first or second session, my counselor had told me that I was welcome to visit her dressed if I wanted. At that time I thanked her but thought that would never happen. Now I was sitting in a dress and makeup, talking to her, and it felt completely normal. Well not completely normal. I was actually so happy that I felt like I was going to burst. She even commented that she has never seen me smile and that I looked very happy. She told me that she was amazed how good I looked and that I definitely passed. My wig is similar to my wife’s old hairstyle, but my wife got a completely new look since she last saw my counselor. My counselor said that when we got out of the car, she wasn’t sure which one was me. I don’t know how that made my wife feel, but it made me feel terrific.
After we left my counselor, we went to the BBQ. On the way we stopped at a Target so that we could pick up some drinks. My wife went into the store and I remained in the car. My wife was in the store for a while and I was very nervous every time someone parked next to me, or pulled in facing me, but no one noticed.
There were only two other couples at the BBQ because it was a holiday weekend and some other members were not available. They also explained that the local Tri Ess chapter had ceased to exist and they were trying to get it going again, so membership is low right now. I don’t know if I am allowed to post their web address so PM me if you are interested and I will give you the information.
Once we left the meeting we went to our hotel room. My wife checked us in while I waited in the car, but then we had to walk through the lobby to the elevators. In the hotel lobby there was a female employee standing at a podium that we had to walk right past. I was very nervous but she just said “Have a good night ladies.” My wife was a little freaked out because she had just got the room from this lady, one king bed, so my wife said that either the lady would know that I was a male, or think that we were lesbians. Neither of these options appealed to my wife. We got to the room and we were going to drink wine, but there was not a bottle opener in the room, and the front desk didn’t have one. We searched and found a local Wal-Mart, walked back through the lobby, passed people in the lobby and drove to the store. This was my first interaction with people who didn’t know that I was a crossdresser so I was very nervous, but no one noticed. I also drove to the Wal-Mart.
I thought that the Wal-Mart would be slow past midnight but it was busy. We parked and both went in to the store. I was very nervous and thinking “what am I doing” as we approached the doors, the same time as a group of people. I was terrified at first while we walked through the store, but we passed numerous people and no one looked at me twice. It took us a while, walking down several aisles, before we found the bottle opener, but with every passing second I was getting more confident. We had passed several people and no one appeared to realize that I wasn’t a woman. When we got to the checkout lane there was a line, and more people immediately got in line behind us. I was now standing only a couple of feet from people who had nothing better to do than to look around while standing in line. My nervousness returned for a moment, but again no one acted any different. We left the store, I drove back to the hotel, we passed the woman in the lobby who again said “Have a good night ladies” and went back to our room.
Once in our room, we drank some wine and my wife took some more pictures of me before she went to bed. I stayed up very late because I didn’t want the night to end.
I know that this was very hard for my wife and she didn’t enjoy it at all. But she pushed through it, was supportive, and acted like she was having a good time. I really appreciate what she did for me and really love her.
I will post some pictures in the Picture Gallery.
Stephanie