Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 26 to 50 of 91

Thread: does it make you gay?

  1. #26
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    1,883
    Gender identity and sexuality are two separate entities .. I believe that transgender is an umbrella term that includes all gender variant peoples

  2. #27
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    NE Ohio
    Posts
    428
    Yes, there is a disconnect between sexual orientation and gender identity. But, when you're dealing with the transgender community, the whole sexual orientation labeling system gets a bit fuzzy. I have talked to mtf crossdressers who like to have sex with men only when they're en femme. They do not consider themselves gay. I know mtf non-op transexuals that consider themselves women in every way, but with a little birth defect between their legs, who have sex only with men. They do not consider themselves gay. Likewise, many of their partners do not consider themselves gay.

    I have a GW friend, Lucy, who after much turmoil with her family and religion, came out as a lesbian in her early 20s. It was as difficult for her to come to terms with her sexual orientation as it is for many of us to come to terms with our gender identity. But when she did finally come to terms, she became quite the activist, and was quite proud to call herself a lesbian. Twenty years later, her partner of 15 years started to come to terms with being a transman. Lucy and Diane had been in a committed lesbian relationship, and were very much in love. But now, Diane was, after much turmoil, transitioning to Dave. This left Lucy questioning her own sexuality all over again. Everyone in her life knew her as a lesbian, but now she was going to be with a man. They're making plans to get legally married, something that the law had previously denied them. She loves Dave very deeply, understanding that Dave is the same person that she knew as Diane. But she asked me the question, "So what am I now? Am I still a lesbian, which has been such a major part of who I am?"

    "Lucy," I responded. "You're a Davian! You love Dave. That's all that is important."

    As the song says, "Love the one you're with." If you are attracted to someone, that's between you and the other person. If you love someone, that's between you and that other person. Act on your feelings for that person, not what society calls it.
    Last edited by Roberta Marie; 05-31-2012 at 05:59 AM.
    Grace,
    Bobbi

    "Talking is sharing. Listening is caring."

  3. #28
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    NE Ohio
    Posts
    428
    Quote Originally Posted by docrobbysherry View Post
    Sounds a lot like he's hoping to turn u!
    Being gay is not a choice. Being gay is not "catchy". Someone does not become gay. You cannot be "turned" gay.

    Just like being transgendered, no matter where you are on the spectrum, is not a choice. You can not catch being transgendered. You do not become transgendered. A gay person can not turn a straight person gay any more than a transgendered person can turn a straight person trans.
    Grace,
    Bobbi

    "Talking is sharing. Listening is caring."

  4. #29
    The Girl will Out! Kaz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Yorkshire, England
    Posts
    4,699
    Those that know me know that I have a problem with the labels in our community, but some are pretty straightforward. Gay means that you are sexually attracted to the same sex. I have fantasies about being female and having sex with guys - I would love to know and experience what that is like. At times when I have got Kaz 'in my head' I kind of know what sort of guys 'she' finds attractive... sadly they tend to be the guys 'I' get on well with! Does this make me gay? I have no desire whatsoever to have sex with another guy - it just doesn't work for me... women? Totally different ballgame! So I am quite clear about my sexual orientation. But my gender issues will always lead me to what it must be like to really be a woman... amazing! At times I so wish I was... in every facet of the experience!

    Now Priya, to your gay friend... being a CD doesn't mean you are gay anymore than being gay means you are a CD... we are all who we are and life is complex. The best thing to do is figure out who you are. That is a lifetime's journey of not letting people put you in a box that you can't see out of! Once you are in that prison you stop learning and self-discovery.
    Last edited by Kaz; 05-31-2012 at 06:38 AM.
    Kaz xx

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    This Woman Within is Flying without Wings

  5. #30
    Silver Member BRANDYJ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Fort Myers, Florida
    Posts
    2,676
    If you think about it, it makes no sense at all. A gay man is attracted to men and men ONLY. So if a gay man wants to attract another gay man, I don't think he'd be presenting as a female. It would not be a turn on for most gay men... I would think.
    As for the so called tranny chasers....I think most are closeted gays or at least bisexual. They are not comfortable with the gay label or even the Bi label. So in their head, it's OK if they have sex with a man that presents as a woman. To them, it's not gay since "he" looks and acts like a woman. Just about the same way a crossdresser might think it's not gay since they are presenting as a female.

    Put that aside, if you are not sexually attracted to men, then you are not gay. If you are attracted to women, then you are hetero. This regardless of what you are wearing.

  6. #31
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Allentown, PA
    Posts
    1,670
    Why do you care if it makes you gay or not??
    Cross dressing falls under the umbrella term " transgender ".
    Perhaps you were thinking of the term " Transsexual " that is a completely different world and does not fall under the term " transgender ".

    If your gay your gay.
    If your a man who dresses in women's clothing then your a cross dresser.
    Whereas both are not mutually exclusive both are very different.

    Enjoy whatever habits make you gay, straight or a man in a dress.


    Julia

  7. #32
    New Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    South Africa
    Posts
    13
    The only thing that 'makes you gay' is an attraction to men. Clothing and the freedom to express ourselves through fashion has nothing to do with sexual orientation. Nothing can 'make you gay'. Besides, so what? It seems your friend needs validation for something in his own life.

  8. #33
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    6,337
    Crossdressing doesn't "make" you gay. Genetics make you gay. Dressing as a woman and having sex with a man does not make you straight, in fact it confirms you are gay or at least bi.

  9. #34
    Senior Member joannemarie barker's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    uk
    Posts
    1,249
    Well I think it's just a coincidence that I dress and like guys,when I was young the dressing came first,wasn't for a few years I started 'noticing' boys

  10. #35
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Orange County, Calif.
    Posts
    20,515
    Quote Originally Posted by Roberta Marie View Post
    Being gay is not a choice. Being gay is not "catchy". Someone does not become gay. You cannot be "turned" gay.

    Just like being transgendered, no matter where you are on the spectrum, is not a choice. You can not catch being transgendered. You do not become transgendered. A gay person can not turn a straight person gay any more than a transgendered person can turn a straight person trans.
    That's not the point, Roberta. It's not about what is actually possible. It's all about WHAT U THINK U R! And, WHEN U FIGURE IT OUT! For example, I never had a gay thot enter my mind. Until I began dressing at age 50.

    At that time, I had fantasies of being the sexy female submissive to some dominant male. With the sudden urge to dress and the fantasies, I assumed I was gay or bi! So, either I had been all my life and denied it or I had suddenly turned!

    Of course, u can't suddenly turn and I'm not bi! But, it took me a couple of years to work that out!
    Last edited by docrobbysherry; 05-31-2012 at 10:05 AM.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  11. #36
    In transmission whowhatwhen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    3,633
    Fake response because I'm bored...

    Yes.
    It makes you very, very, mega gay.

    The second that skirt goes on you instantly become attracted to big, hairy, lumberjack type guys with big muscles.
    (That's not the only trunk he can swing over his shoulder, rawwwrrrrr!)

    Sorry...

  12. #37
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    2,422
    Quote Originally Posted by whowhatwhen View Post
    Did you hear that?
    It's the entire LGBT community disagreeing with you.

    I have no idea why it's so hard for straight people to get that sexual orientation is not a choice.
    Yeah, he thinks your sexual orientation and gender identity are choices. But he is basing this assumption on the fact that... oh wait... nothing.

    Maybe sissy should try to pray away the sissy... see how well that works for him since he's probably a firm believer in 'Pray Away the Gay' as well.

  13. #38
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    3,444
    Quote Originally Posted by Roberta Marie View Post
    Being gay is not a choice. Being gay is not "catchy". Someone does not become gay. You cannot be "turned" gay.

    Just like being transgendered, no matter where you are on the spectrum, is not a choice. You can not catch being transgendered. You do not become transgendered. A gay person can not turn a straight person gay any more than a transgendered person can turn a straight person trans.
    I don't think it's always that black and white. Some people wouldn't have the idea of homosexuality if it wasn't seen so much in the media. Some people choose to try a homosexual act and may decide it's not really for them. I think the phrase "turn gay" applies to those that have been curious, but for one reason or another never attempted to make it reality. Meeting the right person could change that, and when the closet door opens, they will say he turned gay. So if one is curious but chooses not to act, are they gay or just latent homosexual. Didn't Freud conclude that everyone is a latent homosexual?

    Quote Originally Posted by BRANDYJ View Post
    If you think about it, it makes no sense at all. A gay man is attracted to men and men ONLY. So if a gay man wants to attract another gay man, I don't think he'd be presenting as a female. It would not be a turn on for most gay men... I would think.
    As for the so called tranny chasers....I think most are closeted gays or at least bisexual. They are not comfortable with the gay label or even the Bi label. So in their head, it's OK if they have sex with a man that presents as a woman. To them, it's not gay since "he" looks and acts like a woman. Just about the same way a crossdresser might think it's not gay since they are presenting as a female.

    Put that aside, if you are not sexually attracted to men, then you are not gay. If you are attracted to women, then you are hetero. This regardless of what you are wearing.
    So all gay men are only interested in masculine men? Since we have a stereotype of what a gay man is, maybe we should just use the word homosexual. If one is attracted to women with a penis would that person be homosexual? Certainly there are gay crossdressers as well as gay masculine men. There seems to be a lot of men that want to have sex with what appears to be a real woman with breasts, but that also has a penis. Are they bi-curious, straight or gay? Will they become gay after their first encounter, or were they born gay?

  14. #39
    Silver Member kristinacd55's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Southern Utah
    Posts
    2,297
    I've been to a club with gay guy's, and they want nothing to do with us. It's all about what you're into, boys, girls, or both!

  15. #40
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    3,444
    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    Genetics make you gay.
    LOL. Someone that is totally homosexual still manages to produce offspring... Would that make one straight curious?

  16. #41
    In transmission whowhatwhen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    3,633
    Quote Originally Posted by Dee3 View Post
    I don't think it's always that black and white. Some people wouldn't have the idea of homosexuality if it wasn't seen so much in the media. Some people choose to try a homosexual act and may decide it's not really for them.
    Actually, around the same time you started noticing girls they probably started noticing boys.
    Physical attraction is not a learned behaviour.

    Edit:
    Interestingly enough, I started noticing girls at that age but not in "that way".
    Only later in life am I discovering that it may have just been platonic attraction.
    Last edited by whowhatwhen; 05-31-2012 at 11:26 AM.

  17. #42
    In transmission whowhatwhen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    3,633
    Quote Originally Posted by Dee3 View Post
    LOL. Someone that is totally homosexual still manages to produce offspring... Would that make one straight curious?
    Actually, you used to see a lot of gay men marrying women because they felt they had to.
    It's not unusual for them to father children while in that relationship.

  18. #43
    Silver Member Tina B.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    North Coast of California
    Posts
    4,230
    So your friend thinks wearing womens clothes makes you gay, well that is just because we all want our friends to be like us, and if you are gay you two have more in common. Many people, even gay and transgendered people sometimes have trouble understanding the difference between Gender, and sexuality, one does not dictate the other. But you can be gay if you want to.
    Tina B.
    Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.

  19. #44
    Member Contessa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Tucson, AZ
    Posts
    472
    I am going to out on the limb and say something and hope some one reads it. Nothing can make you gay either you are or you are not. Someone thinking that you are does not make you gay. Wishing you were doesn't either. If you are not gay please move away from the idea that you might be. That is about your friend not you. And I don't mean that is because he is gay.

    Some people think that if a man is somewhat different he is gay. But they are only talking about the values they have. As they see it. It is how they think, they're upbringing. Forget about that, you can't change his beliefs only he can. If you say your not gay I BELIEVE YOU.

    Don't worry about what others think it could consume you. Unless you want criticism. Now go make a life for yourself as long as it is the one you want.

    Tess
    [COLOR="blue"]Contessa Marie D

    I'm TG. A fem-male so I look male sometimes.

    Dressing is necessary, the type of clothes you wear not so much.

    This above all to thy own self be true!

  20. #45
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Lowestoft UK. Beverley was here.
    Posts
    30,324
    I feel very gay wearing womens clothing and I always have a good time...
    No! not that sort of gay.... Happy.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  21. #46
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    The South
    Posts
    1,677
    Quote Originally Posted by Kaz View Post
    Those that know me know that I have a problem with the labels in our community, but some are pretty straightforward. Gay means that you are sexually attracted to the same sex. I have fantasies about being female and having sex with guys - I would love to know and experience what that is like. At times when I have got Kaz 'in my head' I kind of know what sort of guys 'she' finds attractive... sadly they tend to be the guys 'I' get on well with! Does this make me gay? I have no desire whatsoever to have sex with another guy - it just doesn't work for me... women? Totally different ballgame! So I am quite clear about my sexual orientation. But my gender issues will always lead me to what it must be like to really be a woman... amazing! At times I so wish I was... in every facet of the experience!

    Now Priya, to your gay friend... being a CD doesn't mean you are gay anymore than being gay means you are a CD... we are all who we are and life is complex. The best thing to do is figure out who you are. That is a lifetime's journey of not letting people put you in a box that you can't see out of! Once you are in that prison you stop learning and self-discovery.
    We are back to the definition issue again. Many people on this site have stated that they are bi-. For me that means that when dressed I can consider sexual relations with a man. I know a gay person who really likes crossdressers while others don't. Also, when I compare the way that I look at men against the way a gay person looks at men, I can see that I am not like them. They notice and react to signals that I don't even recognise, while I find myself looking and admiring GG's for the way they look and dress. There are no neat pigeonholes in which to classify people.

  22. #47
    My name is Carol Julogden's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Suburbs of Chicago, IL USA
    Posts
    3,670
    Quote Originally Posted by Dee3 View Post
    I don't think it's always that black and white. Some people wouldn't have the idea of homosexuality if it wasn't seen so much in the media.
    If one's sexual identity could be swayed by portrayal in media, there wouldn't have been any gay people back when there were absolutely no LGBT people visible in the news and media.

    It comes from the inside.

    Carol
    My name is Carol.

  23. #48
    Complex Lolita...
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    2,769
    Quote Originally Posted by priyaverma
    does it make you gay?
    [SIZE="2"]Let me get out my word bazooka…

    Yes, it makes you GAY. I’m here to report the truth – as soon as you don the panties, the dresses, the wigs, hosiery, dainty shoes, et al, you will suddenly become gay, case closed. Hallelujah!!! We are now free to explain ourselves to all ignorant drab individuals who hate individuality. We are gay, queer, not right, deviant, perverted in the extreme, not to mention living, breathing examples of what can go wrong (I mean right) when someone wishes to express hidden desires. If you even think it, you are GAY, so let’s get the party started!!!

    Not only are we gay, but we are also fairies, sissies, and purveyors of sensibilities that other males dare not acknowledge, lest they be condemned by their bigoted peers. My gestures are effeminate, my speech is highly suspect, and I like to cry as well. I am gay – no doubt about it. Did I tell you I love the color pink, I wear feminine fragrances, and I cross my legs at the knee? I also turn away from violence, I don’t impose my will on others, and I don’t judge people – surely this makes me gay, which, by my definition, is another way of saying “happy,” or good...

    Out in the so-called real world, gay is wrong, unacceptable, or downright BAD. That’s a pity, because there’s a lot of enjoyment being missed simply because others have branded pleasure as non-masculine. Fighting, pain, and obstruction rule the day, while those who will not obstruct (or follow) are trampled under foot. I am not one of the former, so I go my merry (gay) way and enjoy life to the fullest. That, in itself, is gay, since selfishness is not exactly a virtue these days. I have the right to be different, as I choose, and non-conformity is my mission in life…

    So, in closing, I am GAY, and MtF crossdressing made me that way, which is another way of saying that it opened the door to the Garden of Earthly Delights – this door is forever closed to the bigoted people who make distinctions based on appearance alone. I thank my lucky stars every day that I had the courage to cross the imaginary gender line, escape the unthinking, unfeeling herd, and experience the blessed breeze between my knees. In case you’re wondering, my sexual preference is not open to conjecture, but I’m here to tell you that MtF crossdressing HAS modified my “outlook” in profound ways. It made me gay BIG TIME, something all you homophobes out there can look forward to…


    Sincerely (and gaily) yours, Freddy
    [/SIZE]

  24. #49
    GG ReineD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Samsara
    Posts
    21,062
    Quote Originally Posted by Dee3 View Post
    LOL. Someone that is totally homosexual still manages to produce offspring... Would that make one straight curious?
    No, it would make them want to live a camouflaged life.


    Edit
    I love this forum!!! We spend days debating the issue, when the simple answer is for the OP to actually go out and DO IT, and then come back and TELL US whether he enjoyed the experience or not.

    • If he did and he'll never want to have sex with women again, he's gay. (Unless he's TS and will transition which is a different story).
    • If he did and he'll do it again plus also have sex with women, he's bi.
    • If it grossed him out, and he just wants to have sex with women, he's straight.
    • If it grossed him out AND he doesn't want to have sex with women, then he's asexual.
    • If he just wants to have sex with himself to the fantasy of being a woman with a man, then he's autogynephilic.
    Last edited by ReineD; 05-31-2012 at 02:07 PM.
    Reine

  25. #50
    New Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    10
    thanks for all ur replies all u lovely and gorgeous ladies.... love you alll <3

    i know i am not gay ... as i love having sex with girls... but i have a much more andrgynous looks for a guy ... and as having my hair long ... no one can guess saying me as a guy ...
    and even i have hardly any facial hair ...

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State