[SIZE="2"]“Stepping softly... Into my soul...” (John Foxx)
You hear a lot of talk about one’s CARBON footprint these days, but what about a crossdressing footprint? This represents your relationship to a society that wishes you didn’t exist, a measure of your actual or perceived impact (affect) on the world at large, as well as yourself, or, in other words, your current state of being. How are you doing as a MtF crossdresser, and do you wish to either increase or decrease your “footprint?” I assume you’re wearing your favorite girly shoes as you step forth into the hostile world that surrounds us, so please let me know...
For example, someone who is new to MtF crossdressing, perhaps operating from the closet, would most likely have a rather small “footprint,” hiding from friends and family, or a SO, or society, harboring secrets that dare not see the light of day. We all had to begin somewhere, somehow, and our footprint was initially small and tentative, perhaps nudging our toe (sheathed, no doubt, in our hosiery of choice) into the chilly waters to see if we should take the plunge. I began this way, and, if you’re like me, you wanted to increase your footprint slowly but surely. How far can I go before I go TOO far? You want to expand your own empire of imagination, but what will the neighbors think?
Someone who is transgendered, i.e. living as the “opposite” gender 24/7, has a CD footprint that can be measured in breadth as well as depth. Such an individual has little or no fear, and they are comfortable in the clothes they have chosen to wear – indeed, this has less to do with mere MtF crossdressing and more to do with self-definition. A CD with a modest footprint may dream of living life as a female – is this inevitable, or do we hedge our bets and proceed with all due caution? I think self-awareness renders our boundaries, an “outline” that designates just how far we wish to go, under the personal circumstances we find ourselves. I look up to my sisters who have a relatively large CD footprint, but I have to keep my own borders tightly controlled...
For the closeted individual, going “out” into the world is a blessed goal, a moment of emergence where we cross the threshold and increase our footprint exponentially. Each new adventure is a measure of our own resolve – either we are encouraged to keep going, or we locate the edges of our courage. I think this is an ongoing process, and, judging by the “tone” of discussion on this site, I am NOT alone in thinking that. We all want to do more, or try more things, or have more fun, and increase our growing footprint in the interim. Fear is a problem, for we live in a world that doesn’t like US for one reason or another, but, in my case, I wish to preserve my relationship to crossdressing and not taint it by overreaching. Just like I choose a certain type of female shoe to wear, I insist on my CD footprint being barely noticeable, yet true to my original intentions...
I guess being on this site, discussing these somewhat impossible topics that fall outside of “normal” human experience, qualifies as a “footprint” of sorts – you made the effort to declare something, at least to those who understand why such a declaration needs to be made. It’s like making a mark on a blank canvas, the first brushstroke that will eventually become a work of art, or the first steps towards the light that will define YOU. My own CD footprint, neither large nor small, is long established and it exists according to my needs, which are few, if you must know. I have no dream of becoming a female, so my footprint is dainty in comparison to other, more successful MtF crossdressers. I’m just glad to be here, with my foot in the door, and a firm toehold in the ongoing panoply of human transgendered existence...
What is, or what constitutes, YOUR crossdressing footprint?
PS - I was going to submit this earler today, in fact I was just about to hit the proverbial button, when the power went out! Is somebody trying to tell me something? [/SIZE]