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Thread: I need to find a place to live, advice on coming out?

  1. #1
    Member Melissa Jill's Avatar
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    I need to find a place to live, advice on coming out?

    Long story short, I have to move out of where I am because my house mate isn't comfortable with the idea of me transitioning living with him.
    So I have to find somewhere else to live. But I can't afford to live by myself. Do I say before signing any contracts that Im transgendered, giving them a chance to not have to live with me?
    Or do I just tell them after moving in (which I fear may be dangerous for me if it turns out that they do have a problem with me)?
    The ultimate woman is a man - House

  2. #2
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    Since you're transitioning, why not tell prospective roommates beforehand? That way you can screen out any unaccepting individuals from your prospects.

  3. #3
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    You answered your own question! Danger! I suggest you fully disclose your intentions to transition. Somehow I think a woman may be more agreeable to the arrangement than another male. The woman may not see you as a danger to herself. I think most males are not going to feel comfortable having their buddies over to watch football and see you in any mode of transitioning. If your current housemate, who presumably knows you better than someone off the street, is uncomfortable, what do you really expect from a total stranger. Some niche marketing is needed.

  4. #4
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    Hi Melissa

    First off; best of luck to you in your transition.

    Is there a CD/TS society nearby that can help with recommending a place to rent. A resource like a CD/TS society can be of extreme help. However I second Kim's advice; explain your self and your transition plans at the outset to any prospective roommate, that way there won't be any surprises later.

    Best of luck on your journey.
    Hugs,
    Sandra1746

  5. #5
    Silver Member BRANDYJ's Avatar
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    It will not be easy finding an accepting house mate if you advertise for a new house mate. But if you don't tell them up front, you may be in another uncomfortable situation like you are in now. it would be great to find another transitioning mate or maybe a CD or perhaps a woman.
    I did not want a male as a roommate when I had to move. Like you, I could not afford a place on my own. So I advertised for a female roommate. I was lucky to find a very compatible one. She never knew about my being a CD. I was afraid to tell her. I have reason to think she knows and never said anything. I have been here for over 17 months. She owns the house, but has since moved to another state and I am now alone with her house at the same rate she charged me when she was here. When she first moved about 3 months ago, I thought I'd have to move out. So I advertised for a room mate (house mate) and this time explained that I was a crossdresser. I received 2 responses: One was from a GG and the other was from a non-CD male that said he was straight. But since I remained I did not have to choose. But I do know I will never room with a male unless he was a compatible CD. I wish you luck in your search.

  6. #6
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    "Transgender male seeks roomate, ideally a genetic female, to share housing expenses. Must be quiet, clean, neat, n/s, n/d, intelligent and employed. "

  7. #7
    Trouble.. Yep thats me Beth Mays's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jillleanne View Post
    "Transgender male seeks roomate, ideally a genetic female, to share housing expenses. Must be quiet, clean, neat, n/s, n/d, intelligent and employed. "
    Best way to to put it on the menu!
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  8. #8
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    I take it that your name isn't on the current lease. If it is then you shouldn't have to move. And if you advertise being TG looking for a roommate, watch out for trannie chasers moving in. I wouldn't recommend them.
    Diane Elizabeth

  9. #9
    Member Melissa Jill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Diane Elizabeth View Post
    I take it that your name isn't on the current lease. If it is then you shouldn't have to move. And if you advertise being TG looking for a roommate, watch out for trannie chasers moving in. I wouldn't recommend them.
    Ive found a website that specialises in searching for gay and lesbian housemates. Im going to use that, maybe the rest of the gay community is a little more comfortable with a transgender person.
    The ultimate woman is a man - House

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