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Thread: Do you enjoy being yourself?

  1. #26
    Dressed to please someone
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    As a crossdresser I'm very happy with my female part, my personality is pretty much my ideal, both a strong and sensitive woman (well, maybe a bit too vain though...). I don't enjoy my male life much, I just don't like things that make man's life "something", like hunting, sports etc. However I'm quite happy with my male personality very far from macho world. Thus my "full personality" fits well to area that is lead by neither too much testosterone nor estrogen.

  2. #27
    Redhead Ready to Rock Bobbie cd's Avatar
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    It took me a long time to get past all the fear, shame, guilt, etc. to finally figure out that for me, personality was far more important than anatomy.
    Yes, I was born anatomically male, nothing anyone can do to change that.
    That does not mean that I HAVE to "BE A MAN".
    I no longer care so much about labels, or living up to other people's expectation.
    Whether you consider me an effeminate male, a cross-dresser, or a pre-operative MTF transsexual, doesn't really matter. (Not to me anyway, sorry.)
    The only label I choose, is "ME".
    I retain my male legal identity because there really is no other reasonable choice for me in this state.
    People in my office know me by my male name as they have for 3 decades, that is a lot of inertia to overcome and no real gain to be had from fighting that battle.
    Instead, I chose to simply make gradual changes in my appearance and clothes choices to allow the real me to show through bit by bit.
    I am just as comfortable in grubby jeans and torn Harley shirt working on my Panhead as I am in nice femme jeans and a blouse buying groceries.
    It was fun though a few weeks ago running around dressed like a soccer mom shopping for a new HD TV.
    It was hard not to laugh at the expression on some of the sales staff faces when they started their spiels on me only to have me "GEEK" out on them, LOL.
    When someone dressed like a soccer mom starts spouting refresh rate cycle specs and such at them it tends to make their eyes glaze over.
    The only person that I really still try to maintain a form of male persona around is my 82 year old father, out of respect for him.
    Even so, the outward changes are already too far pronounced for him to be completely oblivious about it, but we both do our best to keep it from being an issue.
    With my mother and older brother both being gone, I am about the only real family he has left in the area, and I know that he still loves me, he just doesn't really get it, so he just kind of ignores it. It is sort of a generational thing.

    Otherwise, I have pretty much given up trying to count percentages of which side of the apparent gender divide I am spending time on.
    I am too busy being myself and trying to live my life to worry about it.

    In the end, you have to answer to yourself for your own life.
    Just be you.
    Live in the Present.
    Forgive the Past.

  3. #28
    Diamond Member Persephone's Avatar
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    I love being me! After all, I've basically lived two lives (but, alas, in the time of one), switching back and forth between girlworld and boyworld quite regularly.

    But despite my protests I was raised male. Much of that was horrible because, face it, I never made a very good boy. I was lousy at "boy sports." I couldn't throw nor pitch a ball worth a damn. (I still remember one particularly horrifying moment in 2nd or 3rd grade when I was up at bat and the entire field drew within about 10 to 15 feet, taunting me to hit the ball).

    Still, I'm sure I profited from what Sandra-Leigh referred to by the often overused, and frequently terribly abused, term "male privilege." From around age 20 to age 45/50 I was a full-blown Alpha Male, always in charge, always in control. I could pull "commanding presence" out of my hat any time I wanted.

    I married an incredible, wonderful woman and have raised a truly terrific son.

    And yes, I have male hobbies and interests. After all, I was raised as a guy. Years ago I worked on my own cars, I know how to drink beer, swear, burp, fart, and piss in the snow. I enjoy hiking, backpacking, shooting, and other "guy" things (although many women engage in these things too, and I can see no reason that I can't continue to enjoy them as a woman - well, except for the peeing, burping, farting, swearing part).

    But I also enjoy many activities that are usually defined as "female." I cook, bake, sew, knit, I read, often prefer girly romance movies to shoot-'em-ups, love plays and museums, and can carry on conversations that extend beyond short sentences. (Yes, I do know "men" who can have meaningful conversations too, but face it, "When female subjects were asked to recall vocabulary and definitions, the entire brain lit up like a Christmas tree. The male brain on the other hand, only had highly concentrated neuron activity in the left hemisphere Male/Female Differences, Tarleton University paper.

    I love the opportunity to walk on both sides and to just be, well, me!

    Hugs,
    Persephone.
    Last edited by Persephone; 06-03-2012 at 02:45 PM.
    "If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn.

    "If you truly care about me you should damn well want for me what I want for myself" - Michael Westen (Burn Notice)

    -.-. --.-/-.-. --.-/-.-. -../ Persephone™ and Persephone™ are trademarks of Persephone herself, accept no substitutes. The terms "en femme" and "en drab" originated with Marcia Sampson/Staylace (OBM).

  4. #29
    Senior Member KellyJameson's Avatar
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    I gave up trying to live in the male role.

    You cannot put a square peg in a round hole but I think I would have enjoyed it.

    I think men and women who are able to move seamlessly between both gender worlds are the fortunate ones but nature and circumstance did not give me a choice and I was pushed to far out of balance to participate.

  5. #30
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    Round pegs and square holes

    But what about me, I'm a triangle damn it

  6. #31
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Many of us are very adept at putting round pegs in square holes and even triangular ones my friends. If the conditions don't allow for it, we change the conditions much like Admiral Kirk did in the Cadet impossible "Kobayashi Maru" test in "Star Trek II The Wrath of Khan." It's our program, high time we changed it to make it work for us, no?
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  7. #32
    Makeup addict!
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    I enjoy being my male self very much

  8. #33
    Complex Lolita...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kate Simmons
    Do you enjoy being yourself?
    [SIZE="2"]I’ve been myself for so long I know of no other way to BE... [/SIZE]

    Many gals on here kind of downplay their male lives and experiences and many cast them in a negative light because they would rather be women. Kind of understandable I guess because it is a crossdressing forum. So, my question is do you ever enjoy being yourself as a man?
    [SIZE="2"]It all depends what your definition of “man” entails. I enjoy being a male, specifically a boy, and that feeling firmly entrenches me in the crossdresser camp, since I dress up on occasion purely for pleasure. I don’t fill my head with the obligatory transgendered thoughts, but I tend to observe and comment upon the type of male behavior I wish to distance myself from – I’m constantly reeling my male self in, and letting HER be more visible...

    As such, the male that I am is quite different from the male others would want me to be, but this is the version that pleases ME. I don’t want to actually be a woman (which was another one of your questions, I believe), so I use what I have and push the proverbial envelope in gender terms. Not to do so would be downright criminal, since I would be very unhappy as a typical male, doing typical male things – being “myself” means dressing up to let the “self” see the light of day, and she is very pretty...
    [/SIZE]

  9. #34
    Member Xrys's Avatar
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    You chose interesting wording for your question. Do I enjoy Being myself? To be honest, I am not quite sure. The me that I have been, I feel is not really me, but a list of traits and responses I copied from other males growing up in order to blend in. I have been wearing this costume so long, I have forgotten most of the real me. I am so anxious to start therapy, so I can start putting come cracks in this disguize I have hidden behind. I can't wait to meet myself. I expect to enjoy being myself. Right now, however, I dont think I really know her well enough to say.

  10. #35
    Aspiring Member ronda's Avatar
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    i love my fem side but i would not want to give up being Pop Pop to my grand childern yesterday afternoon my 7 year old grand daugher got up on my lap and took a nap would not trade that for anything of course she could do that to grandmas lap to i enjoy both sides of my self
    hugs
    Ronda

  11. #36
    I'm my own alter ego! natacsha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kate Simmons View Post
    Many of us are very adept at putting round pegs in square holes and even triangular ones my friends. If the conditions don't allow for it, we change the conditions much like Admiral Kirk did in the Cadet impossible "Kobayashi Maru" test in "Star Trek II The Wrath of Khan." It's our program, high time we changed it to make it work for us, no?
    HILARIOUSSSS!!!! LMAO!! You are a special one Kate! lol As per your comment earlier, I guess I'm both lucky and unlucky to not have children....definitely lucky there aren't any grandkids!! haha
    Opposites attract: I think I took this concept of physics a bit toooo personally!! Hetero, Gay, Lesbian, Bi, TG, TS, TB, BP, BS, ET....I know I fit in there somewhere...but who cares!!! Happiness: lies in self progress, truth, love, and tolerance. I'm Me! No one else can be me but me. Ironic: is how society made me embarrassed to go out in public, and yet the biggest reason I wanna go out is to seek their approval. The fact that girls and guys both CD is an indication to me that there are parallels that exist that allow many of us, at times, to be able to actually feel what it's like to be that opposite sex...in every possible facet. the way they think, feel, react, speak, and more. It's a two way street that many of us intersect down the way. Soooo....Be happy with what you have and SMILE!! Kisses and Hugs to EVERYONE!!!!!

  12. #37
    Gold Member Marleena's Avatar
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    Another great thread Kate!

    After 50+ years of being a guy I have it down to a science. I only use it for family obligations now, I prefer female mode. Things sometimes change for the better.

  13. #38
    Cat's Eye Siren ArleneRaquel's Avatar
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    I enjoy being Arlene and I dress as female as close to 24/7 as possible.
    Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years. Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady

    My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty

    I'm Always Rainbow Proud

  14. #39
    Member daarleane's Avatar
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    Yes I do enjoy my male self, however I also enjoy escaping from my male self some of the time. I get tired of playing the male role sometimes and just want to escape the responsibilities and slip off into a nicer, softer world. Even if it is somewhat fictional.

  15. #40
    Senior Member Debglam's Avatar
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    I'm in a pretty good place right now Kate. I love being bigendered (I'm starting to love this word too.)! It has taken a lot of suffering in the past and a lot of luck, but I love my family, love being the "man" in their lives and I love the fact I can be the closest approximation of the "woman" I wanted to be when I was a kid.

    My life is complicated, in fact more complicated (IMO) than it would be if I was 100% one gender or the other. Right now, I wouldn't trade it though.

    Debby
    Debby

  16. #41
    Making a life for Tina! suchacutie's Avatar
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    I really do consider myself bi-gendered. I love both sides of me! In the best of all worlds I'd exist for 2 or 3 days in one gender and then 2 or 3 days in the other!

    My gendered selves have clear differences (my wife describes it as two apps working off the same database!) and I very much enjoy and want to keep very much alive both sides of me! Vive la difference!

    us...

  17. #42
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    Good reply Kate (trek). You can always tell when someone has a lot of time in in life, they have seen a lot and have a lot to work with.

    I suppose I could like myself a little easier, if a few of my friends found it easier to like me as I am. I am not sure if I am making them feel 'awkward'.

    I can picture them musing 'Is he just waiting to tell us he's gay?'. I mean that would be a more cliche typical muse I suppose. I can't really see a lot of my family and friends leaping to 'oh, he's TG, I never saw that coming'. I can't even see most people being able to know half of the variations of people we have on site here. I didn't know most of the variations at first. I was doing a lot of Googling and Wiki reading the first couple of days here.

  18. #43
    I'm my own alter ego! natacsha's Avatar
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    Lesley, I just finished telling most of the people in my life that I was bi. that was a first. it felt ok talking to them about it because I know that they may have already suspected it. telling them was not easy but the responses I got were incredible. If done properly and expressed from your heart, there are few people that will reject it. my family doesn't need to know. but I wouldn't care if the found out..telling people I dress was done at the same time. that seemed to be more shocking than being bi. it doesn't change the friendship at all unless you start thinking they are just "tolerating" it, or feel as though you are constantly walking on thin ice and afraid to talk because you may say the wrong thing....just be the same exact person, hold your head high and just keep on keepin on!! XOXOXO

  19. #44
    Member Cassi3's Avatar
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    Although my transition was placed on hold and I've had to start that journey again, I can honestly say that there are many things I accomplished and experienced that I would never trade or regret. Specially all the traveling I've done, would trade that.
    [SIZE="3"]
    Hugs,
    Cassie

    In the great words of Popeye: "I yam what I yam, and that's all what I yam,"
    [/SIZE]

  20. #45
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    I certainly enjoy the relationships I have with my children, siblings and friends. Even though I was "outed" to many of them by my ex some years ago, I don't forsee redefining myself in these relationships.

  21. #46
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    The only time I even think about my gender is when I want to do something most people feel is more feminine. In daily life I don't think of me as being a guy. Thus, yes I do derive pleasure from being a male...sometimes . I also dislike being a guy sometimes. But usually I just enjoy being me.
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
    Chief Joseph
    Nez Perce



    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  22. #47
    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
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    I am a man!! And I enjoy myself (most of the time). Ergo...... Do the math.... What clothing I wear doesn't effect my happiness.... Only my looks....
    Current Obsession - Breasts and Lingerie!

    .......My Photos

  23. #48
    Silver Member Tina B.'s Avatar
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    This is my third try to answer this this morning, so I give up explaining my answer, and I will just say YES, I do enjoy my male role, very much.
    Tina B.
    Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.

  24. #49
    Silver Member kristinacd55's Avatar
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    I enjoy both of my lives, in reality I'm the same person either way so being happy within is the key. If you're happy within, then you can project out to the world a calm and serene personality. Ohmmmmm......

  25. #50
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Yep, and I actually take it a step farther Kristin. I have nothing to prove to anyone and my motives are really altruistic as the male and female energies are balanced.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

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