Hi there, I have been a secret a crossdresser for a long time. I recently told a female friend of mine, but want to take the next step and go out in public.
I am thinking of taking a trip to SF. Can someone tell me of their experience, if they have been in SF, while crossdressed?
Any tips for someone who is going to go out in public for first time?
I am led to believe that SF is the most accepting place to go dressed.
My experience was pleasant and although I was openly read by a couple of SA's I found others just went around minding their own business.
Being openly read meant my voice did not fit in and therefore called attention to my general deportment. I was advised to trim a few things and I was acceptable but not fully passable when meeting in a group. I did not pass the closeup look but no one thought it a big deal. Trying a wig or many wigs I should say went well and so did interaction with a couple of male (gay) cosmeticians at zacks. He said I think you are cross dressing and I said he wasn't gay. A wonderful exchange in SF.
Tips, dress conservatively, no extreme shoes, makeup or dress. Wear something to blend in.
I vote for jeans and boots actually. There is a Karen Hutton here who may have other suggestions.
All the best on your outing.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
I have been to the SF bay area (SF, Oakland, San Jose, etc.) en femme several times and have had zero problems or issues.
My one piece of advice if it is your first time out is to go to either a makeover service or just go to a hair/nail salon/spa to get your hair and makeup done before you go out. it will help to make you feel more comfortable.
best of luck to you.
Like any large city, San Francisco has its good and bad areas. Stick with the good and you should have a good time.
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
Another great place to go is Provincetown Cape Cod. Most of the people are either Gay or crossdressers. It is a wonderful experience just to visit. You cerainly don't have to hesitate to travel around enfemme
I live in Northern California and have been out in many larger cities in the US including numerous times in San Francisco and the surrounding areas. Yes, San Francisco is a very accepting and friendly area, but so has every other large city I have visited. Many assume San Francisco is one of the most, if not the most, accepting city only based on reputation and inference. In my experience, it is one of the best, but it is not heads and shoulders above other cities of decent size. As already mentioned, every city has good and bad areas, and good and bad people, and stories about good and bad experiences.
Something most from outside the area tend to forget about are tourists. In the summer months, San Francisco is over run with tourists from all over the US and the world. The locals are blase' about flamboyant, colorful or transgendered individuals, but many of the tourists almost expect to see "freaks" in San Francisco. It is not unusual for some to stare, point or make comments among themselves. Las Vegas is the same way.
San Francisco is a great city and a wonderful one to go out in, but it is not the promise land as many tend to portray to be. Don't get me wrong, you will enjoy being out, but don't expect there is something truly magical about San Francisco. Sorry to burst any bubbles or myths. Avoid the questionable areas and you will have a great time. If you are in an area frequented by tourists, it will not be all sunshine and lollipops.
Last edited by Melissa Rose; 06-03-2012 at 06:34 PM.
This is gospel! I like San Francisco too, but the only place that I have had someone curse at me because I was out en femme was in SF. A very vibrant, very tolerant city, but with all of the problems of any major city. You will most likely have a wonderful time but there is no "Transland." Just some areas more tolerant than others. You don't say where you are from, but I would bet that almost any moderately sized town would be a safe place to go.Originally Posted by Melissa Rose
Go out and have fun!
Debby
Debby
Amy, i met two friends fro the forum in San Francisco and we went out for drinks, then dinner, then a wine bar. The entire experience was fun, relaxing and totally uneventful. No one cared. It is absolutely the place to go. THere really is no limit to where you can go, dinner, movies, theatre, the city is there for you to enjoy
I am out in SF and its surrounds almost once a week. Never have had any problems and I go everywhere, good and bad. I am reaching my goals of going to all the places in femme mode that I would go in male mode. That includes restaurants, bars, theaters, ballet, museums, shopping, whatever. Does shit happen everywhere? I think yes, but it is less likely to happen for a TG in a city like SF if you maintain your street smarts. Just be your self and act like you have every right to be there. I really does work.
Amy - I've been out dressed in many of the major west coast cities and have found all of them to be very accepting. SF is by far my most favorite. Like Allie (AllieSF) and more often than not with Allie I / we've gone every where day and night and done everything there is to do. If your going out for your 1st time SF is a great choice. Plenty of places to go and tons of things to do.
Going out for the 1st time is daunting. The first step out the door was the toughest for me. Allie's advice is the best I would give. You have every right to go where ever you want dressed how ever you like. As to where in SF to go - Allie knows that town inside out...
Hugs,
Loving the Lace!
I spent the weekend in the east bay and intended to go to San Francisco today. Unfortunately the day is cold and drizzly so I'm not going. Bah! I am spending a few days there bat the end of the month though, the weather will be good and I will have a good time being Vanessa.
I lived and worked in SF for two years and the only people I had problems with were the homeless who would get angry when I would not give them money.
I suggest comfortable shoes for walking and the occasional running from those who do not understand that no means no.
If you use a taxi be sure to watch that they do not drive you all over the city to push up the fare saying that they want to avoid traffic.
If you like mechanical stuff the cable Car Museum may be worth a look and the Sea Lions at Pier 39 usually bring a smile. ( but smell bad )
Highly recommend the SF Museum of Modern Art, Golden Gate Park and the music scene is some of the best in the world.
In my opinion any problems you have will not be related to crossdressing but the problems of the city itself, it is a very dynamic and oftentimes intense city.
Depending on the climate you are coming from you may find it chilly in the city, my friends from Arizona always complained it was to cold when they would visit even in August.
If you like the feel of warm sand between your toes they have some nice beaches on the Pacific side of the city assuming there is no marine layer hanging around.
Public transportation is better than many other U.S cities IMHO.
I'll unlurk for the first time this year to echo this point entirely. I am in SF several times a year. I have never had any problem en femme. But: you will be read, because this is a city that knows trans people. So unless you're totally passable people will get it. And the tourists may perceive you as part of the local culture (not in a hurtful way) instead of just leaving you the hell alone.
I love SF. But it's probably the one place in the US where I feel like I am in another category "trans" utterly... Both because they're better able to perceive it, and because they don't think it amiss to assign us to that category as opposed to just trying to fit us into the category "female".
For photos on flickr, my user name is cd_erica_f
Many years ago now I and my wife made a trip to SF. It was my very first time out in public dressed. Surprisingly, nothing happened except that I had a great time. I even rode the cable car.
I suggest doing it! I've never done it but you'd encourage a girl like me to walk around town once in a while.
Like a lot of the comments, SF is great and the locals, me being one of them, are accepting of everyone. My best advice is enjoy SF, wear layers (weather is so changeable) and as with anyone, use your common sense - if you feel uneasy somewhere, leave and go to somewhere you feel safe
Maybe I'm a bit too late to reply to this thread. Anyway, I live near SF and I recently went out dressed for the first time there. I didn't wonder around the city much to have a good opinion about it. I went to a drag club there and spent most of my time there. I was certainly read there, but no one bothered with me. I'm looking forward to go out there again =). I wish you luck there, having some CD company helps a lot too. I was mostly afraid to be spotted by people I know, I have some coworkers who live there.
-Rachel
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