I cant believe what I just did!!!!

[naye]

Hi, I just cant believe what I just did!!!!

I am still completely in the closet, and always have been really scared about figuring out that I am a CD.

Well, today I got brave and decided to go to a bar that I thought it was a good place for crossdressers (they advertised that Tuesday is TGs, TSs, and CDs night), so I decided to go and give it a try, so I dress, put a thong, a bra, pantyhose, and a blouse, and in top of that I wore jeans, socks, regular shoes and a hoodie, so eventhough I was completely underdressed I just looked like a regular guy. But I also bring a small backpack and inside put a new skirt, a pair of heels and a wig just in case I feel brave and decided to dress up in the bar.

When I finally got to the bar I felt disappointed, it wasn’t what I expected, it was quite empty, extremely dark, and there where only three or four guys and the rest where trannys trying to sell a lap dance, so I decided to leave, and I was quite frustrated that I couldn’t tried my heels out of home for the first time, so I was just walking and then walk through Church Street (if you’re familiar with Toronto this is the LGBT area), and suddenly I just thought “Hey, I really wanna walk with my heels in the real street for the first time at least for a minute”, and I just sat on a bench, took out my shoes, my socks, and wear my heels over my stockings, wow, it was great, although I was in drab, it was great to be walking in heels in the street, listening to the “clap clap” of my own shoes, after that when I finally arrived to the subway I just decided to try to keep going, so I enter the subway still in heels, took the train, then changed trains at an interchange station and went like 10 more stations just like that, and then, I decided to get the bus still in heels, and let me tell you that no one really cared about this guy in drab, wearing heels, I don’t know if people didn’t notice or not, but no one really blink an eye, except for one old guy that he just stared at me with a shocking face, but in the moment that I look at him, he just turn around his sight.

Then I decided to go off the bus quite before arriving at home, so I went out of the bus, and decided to walk home thru the boardwalk at the lakeshore to keep enjoying my heels, and suddenly, I dont know how or why, without thinking I just stopped and sat in a bench in the dark (without even thinking) and just took out of my backpack my skirt and put it over my jeans and then remove my jeans, and took out my hoodie, and put on my wig!!!!!

So I just walked about 3 or 4 kms enfemme, it was a little after midnight, but there was still few people at boardwalk, and although I know that there was no way that I could pass, nobody really cared, and I felt great, and need to confess that everytime that a person was near by I got really nervous, but at the same time another part of me wanted to cross in front of more people.

I even stay in another bench for a while just looking at the lake feeling like a cute girl, IT WAS AMAZING, I still cant believe what I did, and it was all without even think of it, everything was so spontaneous, without planning it and it was perfect, I was frustrated when I leave the bar because it wasn’t what I expected, but I never imagined the great great surprise that tonight got for me, and what I was able to do, and to see that nothing happened, and honestly I am still excited of what I did, I think that maybe one of my neighbours could spoted me when I arrived, but honestly Im not worried about it. So, this was my first big step to the outside world, and honestly, I think it helped a lot that I am new in town to get the nerve to do it.

Thank you all for the time that you spend reading my story.

[max]

Congrats hun, sometimes it is that spur of the moment risk-taking that ends up broadening your world. Just stay safe please.

[Persephone]

Wow, Naye!

That is so great!

I am excited for you! (Or maybe I'm just feeling your excitement all the way over here in Southern California!).

But please do practice safe crossdressing! Don't linger in areas late at night that at GG wouldn't linger in.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Thera Home]

Good for you naye. Im so happy for you and am glad you shared your joy with us.

Thera

[Billiebluenose1878 GG]

Well done ... thst must have been an experience .... and i agree with Persephone ..please be careful ..even me a GG wont go out to unsafe areas in daylight ..let alone after dark ...xxxxx

[carolinewalker_2000]

Other than reiterating what others have said about safety; I just wanted to say that the first time is always scarey but it does get easier with each outing. I bet this won't be your last adventure. Congratulations.

[Maria 60]

You always have a better time when you don't plan it, out of the blue is always the best. That happened to me once when i was going to my summer cabin in the spring and decided to park at the water and check out the beach, then i remembered i had a stash of Maria'a cloths under the seat and next thing you know i was walking on the beach, and WOW! what a feeling, the wind blowing the skirt up and the sun on the pantyhose. The beach was quit but a few people did pass me walking there dogs and for some reason i just didn't care i was enjoying the moment. I know you enjoyed it and hope that oppurtunity will come again.

[Cynthia Anne]

Great story young lady! I guess you know that now it's going to be very hard for you to stay in the closit! Hugs!

[STACY B]

That ol BREEZE felt good with that skirt on HUH,,,,, Walking in those heels was great too ,,, Well the cats out the bag now ,,, First in a long line of outings ,, Hang onnnnnn Ill get my purse an go with ya !!!

[Paula_56]

As transgendered people many of us lead lives of guilt, fear and shame. For years I was afraid to leave my home or hotel room out of fear. Until recently, I made the realization that there was nothing to be afraid of. Being transgendered or cross-dressing is not wrong. We are different, but the world can and does accept us. I use to scurry from hotel to car and walk around parking lots at night. Half hidden, half in sight. Now I walk right thru the lobby, take an elevator, and nobody cares. Sure I am read sometimes. This was the big obstacle I had to get over. When you’re read, nothing bad happens. People just go on with there business. Waitresses clerks, sales associates have never reacted badly they are a polite and accommodating.
I also use to fear shopping endrab. If you dress nicely, don’t act creepy or guilty, most sales people are really happy to help. I always smile and thank them. It’s more than most customers do. I tell them right off I need a pair of black slacks for myself, or I need a dress for an event I am attending. The first time I did this I was shaking, but after a couple of times I began to realize that no one else had a problem with this. The problem was in my head.
You may not want to be outed, to your family and friends but admitting you are a cross dresser to a sales associate in a store away from your home area is safe, liberating and a non issue.
So go ahead you have nothing to loose here, try getting out in small steps. Go to the cosmetics counter in the mall. Nordstrom’s is famous in the TG community for being super helpful; they will always make you feel good about your self. Other stores that have been helpful to me are Fashion Bug, Lane Bryant, Lord and Taylor, and Payless Shoes.
My message here is this, you can admit being transgendered to a sales associate and you will feel better for it. You can also go out in public dress as a woman and not get negative reactions. You may have heard this before, but if you are like me you never really believed it. Go ahead, don’t be afraid, take those steps, and start to live

[Beverley Sims]

Like you I have found some theme nights are a disappointment.
I think we build up a picture in our mind and it is rudely shattered on the night.
As for the rest of your evening, glad it went ok.
But please consider a girl wandering around by herself at night.

[deebra]

I'll bet the rent against a nickle that you'll be out again before the month's over, the hunger for it, the fulfillment of having done it only fuels the desire to do it again, it's pretty close to great sex.

[jillleanne]

Great post Naye. All in all, a great night out and you discovered the world does not come to an end because you were expressing yourself. Now go shopping en femme and have fun.

[docrobbysherry]

The question comes to mind, Naye, r u STILL a "closet dresser"? If so, it sounds like your lock is broken and your hinges r coming loose!

[RainyNightGirl]

Well done Naye, you are an inspiration for a lot of us girls. I am so glad you had a great time.

Natasha

[Aylineira]

Good job!! Paving the way for the rest of us

[stacycoral]

Wow, i was going to reply early today, but did not get it done, sound like you really enjoyed your self, and sound of the heels and feel of the skirt, girl wow, life is better now isn't it. Specially the first time walking around and really enjoying what your wearing, it special. I bet you can't wait until you can to do it again.

[naye]

Hi!!!!, thank you all for all your responses, yes, it was a great and fun time, although I was also nervous.

As some of you have told me, I should be really careful about my safety, but honestly I think that the beaches area in Toronto is a safe place, but next time Ill be more careful.

And yes, I know that I will do it again soon lol, it has been in my mind and wondering when to go out again and what to dress, what I can tell you know is that it will be again at night, because Im not that brave to go out with the day light.

I think that its being not that difficult to me to get the nerve because Im quite new in this city, so the number of persons who know me its close to cero.

[aly01]

Way to go Naye! Sounds like you had fun, especially walking around in your heels and skirt.

[AndreaCD1963]

Naye - Good for you! You couldn't have picked a better area in Toronto to start your first outing! Church Street business are very used to seeing us out and about! Next time you want to get out, try stopping in at Wildside (just off Church) - and down at the south end is Mandy GoodHandy's which is a very accepting place for us - in fact, WE are their speciality, and if you show up dressed they waive the cover charge :-) (at least, they did when ever I've been there). But any of the restaurants, clubs, etc along Church will fine. If you head down there on the weekend of June 23/24, or the following weekend, you'll be surrounded by TG/CD/TS - during the Pride Week! That's when I made my first outing several years ago, and it was a blast!!

For the most part, you should be ok in any area of Toronto - if you know the city then you obviously know the areas to avoid, like any urban city. But as some of the others have suggested, always be alert and safe, especially alone in dark parks etc.

To add a little more thought - a few years ago I went out for dinner and a movie ... in WOODBRIDGE! Dinner at the Swiss Chalet, and then a movie a that big flying saucer place at 7 / 400 (the name escapes me) ... with NO problems at all. I kinda thought Woodbridge might present a problem, but nope, it was ok too.

I guess what I'm trying to say is Toronto and the surrounding area are all good :-)

[Barbara Ella]

What a wonderful night out. You are finding the best way to do anything. Keeping safety in mind, just let the dressing and the going places come to you as it feels right. Good to have your focus on the bar failure, and not on the femme outing, then you just do what feels natural and right. That is my big thing right now, as I tend to try to plan things way too closely, and maybe i am missing the joy of the moment, and just being.

What the heck, we are all new at this to some extent, and learning. I am so happy you had a wonderful experience.

Stay safe, Barbara