Missed opportunity

[StaceyJane]

This afternoon I came home from a nice morning of going out dressed. When I was about to pull up into my driveway I noticed something was off. My wife's car was parked there.
Now this wasn't as big of a problem as it could have been because my wife knows about Stacey and knows I go out dressed regularly. The problem is that she told me when she first found out that she wasn't ready to see me as a girl so Over the last couple of years I have never been dressed in front of her. We actually have a pretty good arrangement. I have my own bedroom that i keep my clothes in with my own closet. She even gives me some makeup she doesn't want sometimes and even offers me clothes that she doesn't want anymore. I also tell her about the trips I take en femme.
Anyway I was surprised by the car but decided that i should just go on in. I opened the front door and warned my wife not to look. When she asked why I don't her I was in a dress. She said "come on in Im not looking' Then I got a little bold and asked her if she wanted to see me. "No"
To be honest I was disappointed. I have been hoping for a while to move things forward and this seemed like a good chance but I honored our agreement, came inside and quickly changed clothes.
My wife is used to the idea of me going out so there wasn't any problem with me comiing home en femme. I just felt like a chance was missed.

[Lorileah]

Glad that works for you. As long as you both are on the same page then I don't see a problem, but why was she home early...huh??? Maybe just a little curious?

[StaceyJane]

Glad that works for you. As long as you both are on the same page then I don't see a problem, but why was she home early...huh??? Maybe just a little curious?

Her back was hurting.
I had just left when she got home so she had been home for about 2 hours when I got back.

[kimdl93]

Yeah, I'm glad it works for the two of you, but I can understand your feelings. You might think that over time, she'd at least be curious.

My wife is fine about seeing me dressed and my going out, but so far, she hasn't been willing to go out with me. Its a bit of a drag, since I really don't enjoy going out by myself as much as I enjoy doing things with her.

[Callum2000]

I have a similar situation but with my mother not a partner. She knows I dress and stuff but she refuses to go out in public with me when I'm dressed as a girl. I don't know why cos she has been supportive pretty much through it all but still won't go out anywhere with me. It is frustrating to say the least. I'd hate to think what it would be like when I actually end up with a partner and end up in that sort of situation. I'm sure your wife will come round eventually though and will grow to love you en femme and will hopefully venture out shopping with you!

[suzy1]

You can’t push these things Stacey as you know. Perhaps she will never want to move things forward but you never can tell.
Your honouring your agreement with her is the right thing to do.

There is always tomorrow.

SUZY

[Stephanie47]

Stacey, just figure your wife wants to preserve her image of you as a male. Once she sees you en femme that male image will forever be tainted.

[Cynthia Anne]

Be proud of yourself for doing the ''right'' thing! Hugs!

[Tina B.]

Stacey, you didn't miss an opportunity, you asked her if she wanted to see, she missed the opportunity when she said no. But you did take the opportunity to do the right thing, by honoring your agreement with her.
Tina B.

[RainyNightGirl]

you didn't miss an opportunity, you asked her if she wanted to see, she missed the opportunity when she said no. But you did take the opportunity to do the right thing, by honoring your agreement with her.
Tina B.

Stacey, I agree completely with Tina. You did not miss an opportunity, you actually took it. However I also really think you are doing the right thing by respecting your wife's wishes and honouring the boundaries. Maybe time will change but best not to push it.....

Hugs
Natasha

[Bree Wagner]

Stacey,

I'm in the same boat you are with your wife. My wife knows I go out (and even encourages it) but doesn't want to see it herself. I try really hard to do what the quote below says, but it's challenging to not be just a bit pushy sometimes. You can't help but wonder what you might be missing out on.

Stacey, I agree completely with Tina. You did not miss an opportunity, you actually took it. However I also really think you are doing the right thing by respecting your wife's wishes and honouring the boundaries. Maybe time will change but best not to push it.....

Of course, this is good advice. The wife comes first.

Good luck!

-Bree

[linda allen]

You did the right thing.

It just seems odd to me that she doesn't want to see you dressed but she is apparently OK with your neighbors seeing you dressed.

[Foxglove]

Why do you want her to see you dressed? Perhaps because until she does you won't feel like she's completely accepted you? It's one reason I'd like to just live my life as Annabelle. I want people to completely accept me as I am, warts and all. Forlorn hope.

We do have a deep need to be accepted, accepted entirely for what we are, and it always hurts a bit if we're not. But there's no point in pushing it. Perhaps with time she'll come around. Perhaps she won't. As much trouble as all of us have had in accepting our TGism, it's no surprise if cisgender people have trouble, too. But she's gone a long way down the road already, and she's to be commended for that.

Best wishes, Annabelle

[Jenny Doolittle]

Stacey,

I am in much the same relationship with my wife. Over a vacation last summer I returned back to the room after a mani/peddi appointment that lasted a bit longer then I had counted on and I returned to the room after she had finished her art workshop. Well, I was also hoping she would not mind seeing "Jenny" It did not go as I had hoped. She was really upset that I was pushing the limits she had in her mind.

So, I guess my advise is not to push the limits unless she makes a request to see.

[Alice B]

Somewhat similar to my situation. My wife is OK and used to my dressing and going out. Even being dressed at home when she is also home. But, she will avert her eyes to not really look at me, even when we are in the same room. It is a bit frustrating because I would love to sit and have a normal conversation while fully dressed. Maybe one of these days.

[~Joanne~]

Like the other girls have said, she missed the opportunity, not you, not that she doesn't have more in the future Be thankful for the freedom you do have, a lot of us would kill to be where you are

[linda allen]

I'm taking it slowly. My wife has seen me in the nighties she bought me, in the blouses and spandex shorts she gave me, and in my bras and panties.

She gave me two "skorts" but I haven't worn them in front of her yet. I'm waiting for the right moment.

And of course, she hasn't seen me with heels, boobs or a wig. I've put all that stuff away. I'm waiting for her to suggest them.

BTW: She apparently gave away the skirt I'm wearing in the photo. It's a shame, it was a nice one.

[suzy1]

“ She apparently gave away the skirt I'm wearing in the photo. It's a shame, it was a nice one”

That would really sadden me Linda.
I really feel for all the members in this situation. But that’s life I suppose.

SUZY

[linda allen]

“ She apparently gave away the skirt I'm wearing in the photo. It's a shame, it was a nice one”

That would really sadden me Linda.
I really feel for all the members in this situation. But that’s life I suppose.

SUZY

My wife only wears dresses to weddings and funerals and she likes "skorts" rather than skirts. She only wears either if we are "dressing up" to go out to dinner, etc. so she has very few of either (she was raised on a farm and worked in a "non-dress up" environment).

The other day we were shopping (she got nine blouses, I got three) and we passed by a rack of skorts. I said "I should have a couple of these". She said "I have a couple I can give you." We didn't buy any but she gave me two black ones that she hasn't been wearing. I haven't worn them around her yet.

She never wears them around the house so she wonders why I would want to.

[jillleanne]

Yes, I can understand your disappointment however, you have an arrangement that exceeds many others so for that you can be grateful.

[Beverley Sims]

I don't think you missed an opportunity you had good interaction in a sticky situation.
A few more of those and she might get used to it.
I would keep doing what you are doing, at least you have some freedom to express yourself.
I'm alright Stacey, at least I can walk around dressed in front of my wife and she doesn't notice as long as I don't call attention to it too much.
Sometimes she forgets that I am dressed when we go out sight seeing.
She is not keen on going with me to shopping malls, but in London and Europe I was dressed a little more androginously more to the female side and she was ok.
A bit of Don't Ask and she doesn't have to give an opinion.