Have you ever had issues when going out En Femme?

[GinaM]

From everything I've read things almost NEVER happen when dressed En Femme. I just started venturing out and I'm loving it but still in the process of building up the confidence to really get out. My last trip was pretty awesome and I even went into a supermarket and bought a few items which was exciting. I would love to do some shopping while dressed but haven't gotten that far yet. What is your typical experience when out En Femme?

Have you had any bad experiences that you would like to share so we don't get caught in similar situations?

[Jilmac]

I've done it so often it's almost routine now. No hassles, no stares, no gasps and pointing, just friendly people wherever I go.

[RenneB]

I've been out and about for the better part of half a year now and love it. However, it took a loooong time gettin past the butterflies... Many baby steps and practice getting the outfit, shape, makeup, hair, .....yada yada yada to a point where my confidence was high enough to make a 'break' for it...

I started out just gettin' into the store and taking a 'trophy' picture and then headin out as fast as possible. Now, I go to the store, shop a little, buy a few things, browse a little and then drive to the grocery store to finish my errands.... It's starting to be a really cool routine..

Oh I've had a bad experience or two, but that's about it. 98% of the time most people don't bother lookin or don't care... When they do, you just have to deal with it....

Renne.....

[Andy66]

I have seen dozens of lovely CDs in Vegas over the last few years. Only about a week ago I heard of any trouble for the first time - a lady had her purse snatched. She admitted she was very drunk at the time. So just keep your wits about you and you should be fine.

[NathalieX66]

Well, first, I must say that being at the the height of a typical woman ( I'm 5 foot 6 inches, or 153cm tall), that makes it ideal to not draw much attention to me. That being said, it gets to be a struggle and a challenge for someone who is 6' 4", My heart goes out to you tall ladies. I know, it sucks, right?

I think the quality of your presentation, without overdoing it will garner respect.

My experience is men don't pay much attention to me, mainly because they look for attractiveness. I'm not ugly, but I'm no Jennifer Anniston either, therefore their eyes turn away and think to themselves this chick's not doing it for me.

Last week, I was in line at CVS behind two macho looking guys (were probably cops) talking family and shop, who saw me behind them, and they paid no attention. I was dressed p[retty average for a woman: Metallic purple toenails, rhinestone flip-flops, jeans, ruffly womans' top, dangly earrings, etc. Most women don't notice me, and I get treated fabulously nice, but occasionally I get the weird stare if they to size me up.

[ReineD]

We get stared at sometimes. I think that I notice it more than my SO. But this doesn't mean that people who stare are necessarily judging us. They just may be expressing a mild curiosity. Most people are too busy with their own lives to even notice. The people we interact with do know and they are always polite. I don't know what they're really thinking; some may admire my SO for having the courage to be herself, while others may talk about her when she is out of earshot. Some of them have become friends with my SO.

I've noticed a few smirks too, but rarely. Only once, did some teenager open his widow as he was driving by and yelled, "You transsexual freak!". My SO is not TS.

I also want to say that my SO dresses very well, has no beard shadow (laser), has small hands and feet for a GM (my size), has her own long blonde hair with no male pattern hair loss (no wig), does not have overly male facial features, does not have an adam's apple, wears her makeup well (not excessive). She is 6' 1" with low heels, compared to my 6' with 3" heels, so she is not overly tall when we are out together. In other words, she is at the top of her game when it comes to presentation.

[joanna4]

There are times when people will not notice me. I haven't been out tons of times but I have about 8 times. I choose to dress edgy and that's what got the attention. I do realize that I get about the same attention in male mode.

[JessHaust]

I'm out several nights a week, for the last 8 months and have never had a bad experience. Just the opposite, i've gotten so used to good attention, smiles, high-fives, words of encouragement, that an event free evening is disapointing.

[Barbara Ella]

In my wondrous four trips out, the events have been my own making. Dropping the gas card and having the nozzle overflow. That gets attention. Forgetting to transfer cash from wallet to my female clutch in purse, so had to pull out wallet at checkout in Macys - SA didn't skip a beat. No negatives from public, except for the SA at Smashbox who same up to me as I was browsing, and said - Good afternoon, how are you. She took a second look, and made a round mouth OH... Then she recovered and talked a bit, very nice young lady.

Keep your poise, and your smile and people will let you walk by, and smile back.

Barbara

[sweetvictoria]

The worst I have had is some strange looks in restaurants. I think they were not sure If I was a CD or GG. No one has ever said anything. Numerous sales ladys have known when I have been shopping. They are polite as they are making money off me. Granted, I do not go to places like red neck or biker bars as that could be asking for trouble.

[Lorileah]

I got a run in my stocking once. I had to take it off,

[thechic]

Im out 24/7 ,didnt have any issues out in public and at work all treat me as a woman,i was supprised, but i do have problems with my personal life,ex friends ,some of my family and people that knew me as a guy.

[ChristineM]

The only two instances of any note (I've only been out six times) was at a Denny's and a StienMart (discount shopping store). Everything was good at the Denny's until I went to pay and the hostess did an obvious double-take but didn't say anything. I thought the way she reacted the entire restaurant would have noticed but when I turned around nobody was staring. At StienMart a SA near the door clocked me before I was even in the door. I don't know what was off, maybe I was dragging my knuckles. Anyway, she kept an eye on me the entire time I was in the store. I had planned on getting some a new dress but I knew if I headed for the ladies fitting room she would raise a ruckus. So got some incidentals and checked out.

[Sara Jessica]

I can think of two rules of thumb, both of which will help anyone make the most of getting out in this wonderful world of ours.

1) Go places that are mainstream and well traveled. Avoid midnight walks in the park just to say you've been out. Avoid seedy parts of town. Bottom line, be safe.

2) Understand that in our world, it is extraordinarily rare for one of us to go out and about and be undetected as being trans-whatever by the Muggles. Therefore, accept that you will be read by others, and some may even have reactions of some sort, but it's not the end of the world if it happens. And if you go out and don't detect anyone noticing the trans in their midst, then all the better. Just don't assume it's because you passed because really, one never knows if they truly passed or not. Most people are polite and will keep their perceptions to themselves.

[daarleane]

I have never really had any"bad" experiences while out, even one day at Camping World I was dressed en femme and they wanted to see my ID, no problem. Same thing happened again at Penney's, no problem. We are probably are own worst critics and create more problems for our self than we need to. just try to relax and watch your surroundings. Don't go places that your wife wouldn't go to.

[Jennifer W]

As I've said, I'm not trying to "pass" but I do wear fem clothes without make-up, wig, etc. The only "problem" I would say I've had is a cashier at a local big chain store gave me an "odd look" and sent me to another cashier who "can help you over there." I don't know if it was because of the way I was dressed or because the other cashier had just arrived to work but there were others ahead of me and she didn't send them away. I don't care either way.

On another note: As I was out and about yesterday I saw a group of teens who were all boys except for one girl. The girl was dressed with her hair in a ponytail, long bangs off to one side, green eye shadow, black girly jeans and a "rock band" type t-shirt. Typical teen until the guys referred to her as Josh! Apparently they had no problem with him and the way (s)he was dressed!

[Dana_cd]

went to a lake nearby this morning,, walked down to the lake, there was a man loading his fishing boat into the lake,,thought I would be like just checking out the lake, when this man just started talking to me,,, me thinking hmm this is gr8,,,then out of the blue he asked if I liked fishing and if I would like to go with him out on the lake,,,wow,,thought about it,, but was dressed in a very short skirt,,,didn't have my fishing license with me,, so I declined,,,he just kept talking,so I sat on the launch and chated back with him,, when I noticed ooops my skirt really is kinds short and he could most likely see my panties stood up right away,, he said to me,, if I wanted he would be there all day and I could join him later if I liked,,, WHAT A GR8 MORNING,,,

[Tara D. Rose]

went to a lake nearby this morning,, walked down to the lake, there was a man loading his fishing boat into the lake,,thought I would be like just checking out the lake, when this man just started talking to me,,, me thinking hmm this is gr8,,,then out of the blue he asked if I liked fishing and if I would like to go with him out on the lake,,,wow,,thought about it,, but was dressed in a very short skirt,,,didn't have my fishing license with me,, so I declined,,,he just kept talking,so I sat on the launch and chatted back with him,, when I noticed ooops my skirt really is kinds short and he could most likely see my panties stood up right away,, he said to me,, if I wanted he would be there all day and I could join him later if I liked,,, WHAT A GR8 MORNING,,,

Did the guy with the boat know that you were a TG person? And if so, he still invited you to go fishing?,. If so, that is so good. It was like a stranger on the street just being nice and accepting of you.
Tara

[Kimberlyfaye]

I wouldn't call it a bad experience but when I went out to a club the first time en femme a couple of guys walked passed the window and stopped as they looked inside the entrance hall. They were looking, and pointing at me! I was so focused on the thought I could do it and enjoy myself I didn't care. They clearly knew I was a guy and they were commenting but the people who run the club and who I had paid to get in obviously knew what was going on and that I was male but they didn't say a thing. And unlike the guys outside, they had heard me talk in a very male voice.
So it was an interesting experience but I think a worthwhile one. Back then I was less experienced with makeup and dressing up. Now I try a little harder.

Just wanted to share my story :-)
Hugs

[Cheryl T]

I've gotten a few looks now and then, but at 5'12" I expect that.
Otherwise it's been uneventful...had a few nice encounters with women and nothing bad to speak of. We've been to most every mall in NJ and most of eastern Pa., restaurants and movies and last October did a week of vacation in New England. Had a great time with no adverse situations.
All in all it's been wonderful.

[kristinacd55]

My only bad experience was a DUI, and that was nobody's fault by mine......83 days ago. Sober ever since!
Besides that, nothing but positive fun experiences

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

Every single time I have gone out en femme I have had the same problem, just what to wear! Oh that's not what you were asking is it????
No, never had any problems worth worrying about, as Lorileah said i did get a run in my stockings once.

[ReineD]

One thing I think might be helpful to the OP, is if members responding state whether or not they go to TG friendly places only (support groups, GLBT clubs, etc), or if they are out in the mainstream.

If someone says they've never had a problem and they only go to support groups and/or gay/trans friendly areas with other CDers, it can be misleading to someone who wants to go to a grocery store in their neighborhood.

Likewise, there's a difference between living in a small town where the inhabitants aren't accustomed to a diverse population, and living in a major urban area where it's fairly easy to be anonymous. It's all relative.

[Carla Stevens]

"Have you ever had issues when going out En Femme?"

Well the few times I've been out, the answer would be yes. BUT the problems have been with me, my own psychological barriers worrying about what other people will think & how they'd react.
The sooner I get over this, the better.

[StaceyJane]

I've gone out many times and have really enjoyed it. I live in Central Texas where there aren't any TG places so I go to regular places.