the way people feel

[Deidre]

wow im quite amazed at how this forum picks and chooses the way they treat people. i was being quite honest when i commented on photos and such. i was looking for support and guidence, and a few people have helped but twice now ive only had one comment or none on my picts that ive posted am i doing something wrong or what? it makes me feel like dirt or gum that gets stuck to your shoe some thing you have to look at but never want to touch it. me dressing up is the only way i feel happy. and im sooooooooo lost. Why?

[BRANDYJ]

The only thing you are doing wrong is whining about no response to your pictures. Do you want to read negative comments about your pictures or insincere compliments? Most of us comment on only pictures that we really find attractive. We are not going to lie and post statements about how cute, how sexy, how pretty or whatever, unless we mean it. It also may be a generation thing. Many, if not the majority are over 40, so our likes and dislikes in styles are different then you generation styles.
If you are looking for guidance and support, you are not going to get any by merely posting pictures or commenting on them. You need to post something meaningful, as in questions, problems or opinions about whatever is bothering you. Posting and commenting on pictures will give you neither support or guidence.

[Karren H]

I rarely comment on photos. And when I do I speak mt mind. Which isn't what people usually want to her. Mainly they get "you look 100% passable" replys. Lol. Which I refuse to do....

[Stephenie S]

Well Deidre, I would be happy to comment on your pictures. Where are they?

S

[Marleena]

Deidre I used to post comments in the picture gallery a lot. Then I found quite a few of those people I commented on ignored my pictures. It's just the way it is. Many of mine don't get many comments. but you'll see lots of views. Some girls only post pictures and don't really get involved on the board.

However if you ask for people to critique your pictures usually they will.

[daviolin]

Deidre, just hang in there. your new here. It can take awhile. Be visable and involved with the discussions. I know I fall short of this myself. I try, but there is only so much time in a day to contribute. I do have a life outside of dressing. Although my wife dosen't think so. Daviolin

[suzy1]

You got some nice comments on the first pictures you posted.

Then when I clicked on your next set they looked almost the same so I did not comment. It was nothing personal.
Try some different settings, lighten up, and have fun.

You are reading far too much into this Deidre.

Hugs, SUZY

[Kate Simmons]

I don't normally comment on pics unless one strikes me for some reason. If someone really wants feedback, my usual procedure is to send them a PM.

[Renee W]

I normally view all of the newly posted pictures, yet rarely comment on any of them now a days. Why?? For some reason, I just feel really weird telling another guy how pretty he looks or telling him he's Hot or whatever. I know, it sounds weird coming from someone who themself enjoys dressing up in women's clothes and attempts to look pretty and feminine, but the guy in me just has hard time telling another guy that. The funny thing is, when I look at the pictures, I do get envious with the way some of the people look on here, wish I could look that good, but just have a hard time commenting on it.

So, please, do not take offense when people do not comment on picture posts, it has nothing to do with you, just the comfort zone of some of the members.

[Marleena]

I normally view all of the newly posted pictures, yet rarely comment on any of them now a days. Why?? For some reason, I just feel really weird telling another guy how pretty he looks or telling him he's Hot or whatever. I know, it sounds weird coming from someone who themself enjoys dressing up in women's clothes and attempts to look pretty and feminine, but the guy in me just has hard time telling another guy that. The funny thing is, when I look at the pictures, I do get envious with the way some of the people look on here, wish I could look that good, but just have a hard time commenting on it.

So, please, do not take offense when people do not comment on picture posts, it has nothing to do with you, just the comfort zone of some of the members.

Interesting perspective I never thought of Renee. When I'm here I am a girl and interacting with other girls. Girls compliment each other so I don't feel weird being complimentary.

[janet54]

BrandyJ is right on. I could not have said it better.

[Cheryl T]

I'm with Karren. Either I'm honest or I say nothing at all and in commenting on pics I rarely say anything.
I especially avoid those "Am I passable" posts. I just don't feel comfortable doing so.
If someone wants truthful criticism I have no problem chiming in, but for the most part we don't want that, we want a pat on the back and it's just not the right thing to do.

[larry]

Well Thanks for the reminder. For a long time now I have been SO interested to read about people and their lives and see how much I can learn from this forum
I just log in-check subscribed threads- and then go to new posts. I forot all about the photo thread. hehehe

[Joanna41]

The only thing you are doing wrong is whining about no response to your pictures. Do you want to read negative comments about your pictures or insincere compliments? Most of us comment on only pictures that we really find attractive. We are not going to lie and post statements about how cute, how sexy, how pretty or whatever, unless we mean it. It also may be a generation thing. Many, if not the majority are over 40, so our likes and dislikes in styles are different then you generation styles.
If you are looking for guidance and support, you are not going to get any by merely posting pictures or commenting on them. You need to post something meaningful, as in questions, problems or opinions about whatever is bothering you. Posting and commenting on pictures will give you neither support or guidence.

Perfect reply! When I post pictures here it is mostly to share them with this forum. I rarely comment on other peoples pictures because they really don't want to read the truth. However, do what you like and if you don't get the results your looking for then try a different approach.

Joanna

[Chari]

You have vented about "the way people feel" & "not commenting on your post/pics", but have you realized many have viewed your posts/pics, and maybe have no comment or opinion? Sometimes if you can not say anything good, it is best to not say anything at all!

[Leslie Langford]

The only thing you are doing wrong is whining about no response to your pictures. Do you want to read negative comments about your pictures or insincere compliments? Most of us comment on only pictures that we really find attractive. We are not going to lie and post statements about how cute, how sexy, how pretty or whatever, unless we mean it. It also may be a generation thing. Many, if not the majority are over 40, so our likes and dislikes in styles are different then you generation styles.
If you are looking for guidance and support, you are not going to get any by merely posting pictures or commenting on them. You need to post something meaningful, as in questions, problems or opinions about whatever is bothering you. Posting and commenting on pictures will give you neither support or guidence.

Brandy, I respectfully disagree with you because it has been my experience here on this forum that a person could post a picture of him/herself looking like the Incredible Hulk in a dress while wearing a fright wig, and some people will always find something positive to say about her presentation - even if it is a back-handed compliment along the lines of "You don't sweat much for a fat girl".

Gratuitous compliments are of no value. On the odd occasion when I have posted pictures of myself, I was looking for constructive criticism as to what I might have been doing wrong in my make up, clothing choices, or overall presentation so that I can do better in the future. Then again, I am "old school" and don't prescribe to the current theory that everyone is "special", deserve a gold star just for showing up or doing an adequate job, and that their psyches are so fragile that they can't bear to hear anything negative about themselves.

If someone posts a picture of the type described above, I don't bother responding because I consider it an insult to my intelligence that they could even entertain the thought that they might look remotely "passable". Sorry, but that's just delusional.

On the other hand, if someone catches my eye whose presentation is right on the mark or only requires a bit of tweaking, I am far more motivated to either "high five" them by way of a reply, or else provide some additional feedback of my own as to where I feel they could make some improvements. I try to be fair and respectful in my comments, and usually they are well received because the recipient understands that they are well-intentioned, even if the answer is not necessarily what they were expecting.

[JenniferR771]

So sorry, Diedre,
I looked at some of your earlier photos. Your pics, especially your avatar pic do not show up well on my monitor. Would you mind? Show us some pics with better light. Preferably outside or at least near an open window or door. Outside in the shade with green bushes in the background works best...photographically speaking. I cannot see the dress very well. Pics on your bed are OK--but perhaps to some it looks like you are trying to hook up. Not my cup of tea.

It takes a bit of time to get bold enough to take photos outside--and try using time exposure inside to allow more light to reach the "film". Of course--not possible with most cell phones. Does anybody have a tripod for their cell phone?

I am sure you will look great with just a bit of tweaking. And i will be jealous--wish I was 30 years younger. Pretty hair and makeup, by the way.

[Melissa Rose]

Deidre, there are numerous reasons for a lack of response and not all of them are bad. Try not to read too much into it. A lack of responses does not mean you doing something wrong or there is something wrong with you. Do not place your self esteem or sense of worth on the number or types of replies to a picture post. You are setting yourself up for disappointment and possibly hurt. If you are truly looking for feedback, make it very clear in your picture post. If your post is along the lines of "How do I look?", you will tend to get more gratuitous compliments, half truths and deflections.

I rarely post comments about pictures. I'm usually caught between wanting to be honest and truthful, and not giving someone a false impression or lying to them. The last thing I want to do is to discourage someone or ruin their enjoyment, but I do not want to give them a false sense of their appearance either. So I usually take the easy way out and say nothing. To be truthful, when someone is asking for feedback, I rarely have the time or energy to write out a helpful and useful reply. Saying "you look great" when I don't mean it is wrong, and saying "you need to work on your eyes" feels like sniping unless I give specific feedback and perhaps some suggestions. If I cannot offer a truthful and helpful reply, I say nothing.

[Lorileah]

Usually I read the threads that are more discussions now. I don't post many photos anymore because people get overwhelmed and then it is sort of like crying "wolf" especially when the photos are the same pose and the same background. I am also like Karren, I don't think many people appreciate a post of "Why don't you do..." or "that isn't the most flattering pose." If someone asks "what can I do better?" I may answer or if they say "What is your honest opinion?"

The other thing is you are rather new here and as Brandy I think mentioned, if you start discussing things or posting things other than pictures, you will get more people who will look for your threads and will post comments on pictures.

Sorry, but just doing "brag" books doesn't attract but a few people.

[kimdl93]

The forum isn't some sort of organized effort. People simply view what they wish and comment as they wish - or not. The fact is that some people may have viewed your photos and not felt any significant reason to comment. That could be a positive or a negative. And as Brandy saiys, sometimes the styles and poses are just not interesting to people of a certain age.

Don't feel alone. I've posted a couple of pictures and didn't generate much of a response. But I wasn't looking for personal affirmation - but rather letting the rest of the members know I was a real person... for better or worse. Your self worth should not be based on the number of hits on your posts.

[Deidre]

theres nothing wrong with negitive responces it help people learn what they need to do i have very low self esteam and feel depressed most of the time and honesty dose count im not afrid of negitive feed back i just a fraid of none lol we just need honesty so we can help each other out not hide behind fake comments

[reb.femme]

And as Brandy saiys, sometimes the styles and poses are just not interesting to people of a certain age.

OI!.....What's all this people of a certain age? I resemble that remark!
Eek......does this make me a person of age?

Rebecca x (the old git)

[BRANDYJ]

theres nothing wrong with negitive responces it help people learn what they need to do i have very low self esteam and feel depressed most of the time and honesty dose count im not afrid of negitive feed back i just a fraid of none lol we just need honesty so we can help each other out not hide behind fake comments

I think there is plenty wrong with negative responses to pictures. That is unless the poster asked for opinions on there clothes or looks. But even then, most that do not think the poster is attractive or the pose or picture quality was bad, they simply will not post. I don't like being one to burst someone's bubble. Especially one suffering from ;low self esteem to begin with.

[BobbieBrooks]

Well no one can change things but you. Most all of us are learning something new each day. Be proud of who and what you are, get out of the little room and take some pictures!!! Personally the last set you posted are really bad. No theme of what you are trying to present, or accomplish. Just my 2cents, with some honesty thrown in for good measure.

BobbieB

[STACY B]

What ya gotta do is trick everyone an put a different title on your picture post to make um look ,,, Like ,, Wife Left an Took All my Girl clothes ,,, Or Caught in Womans restroom ,, LOL,,,,,,