Crossdressing and being gay

[Briana90802]

Just wondering if early crossdressing had an influence on your sexual preferences later in life? Why or why not? This question is open to everyone.

[BRANDYJ]

It must have. I was so attracted to girls and their beauty, sensuality and sexiness, that I wanted to dress, act and look like them. So that attraction and crossdressing kept me from being gay.

Seriously, I don't think being gay or straight has anything to do with crossdressng. Gender and sexuality are not one in the same.

[Karren H]

For me I battled with the question "if I like to dress like a woman why is it I don't like men?" For years.... And I finally realized that sexual preference and crossdressing are two independent things.... Imho.... I crossdress. Our son is gay and he doesn't.

[Krista Doll]

for me it did not make me gay I still only like women (not men) but if dressed does that make me a lesbian just asking. I'm just a straight guy who likes wearing womans clothes.

[Erin McShea]

I agree with Brandy. I have always been obsessed with women's clothing because I think the female body is so beautiful.

[Melissa Rose]

No, there is no direction connection based on current information. Sexual orientation, gender expression and gender identity are independent. You are not made gay, lesbian, straight or whatever orientation by actions or events, or the lack of them, in your life. It is the way you are wired. However, how you view or act upon the way you feel may be influenced by your environment and upbringing.

On an individual level, there is not a way to accurately answer the question since a control is absence. To know the answer, you would have to go back in time, not dress in early childhood and see what happened later in life, and all other potential causative variables would have to be eliminated. By sampling a large enough population, correlations may be found, but proving cause and effect in a multi-variable scenario is very difficult especially on an individual level.

[Jennifer W]

I had a cousin who crossdereesd before we all knew what it was. He was sure he was "supposed to be a girl" and therefore he was attracted to men. He had another relative (not related to me) who was gay and he liked men, but didn't crossdress. I personally am not gay but I do love lingerie!

[Tina B.]

I'm not sure what causes me to dress, and I don't know what makes one person gay and another straight. But when I was a young man, I was asked if I was gay because of my dressing, and I didn't have a ready answer, But after thinking about it for a while, I realized I couldn't be gay, I can't stand my hairy body, I wouldn't want someone else's up against me. I prefer the soft smoothness of a woman, for my mate and myself.
I've never had a desire to have a thing with a man, I've never tried it, so I guess I'm not gay, and my cross dressing doesn't seem to have a thing to do with being gay.
Now if I weren't a cross dresser, and liked things hairy who knows, I might have been gay.
Tina B.

[Violetgray]

The idea of crossdressing making you gay is like the idea that wearing a Little Mermaid T-shirt making you a better swimmer.

[Beverley Sims]

Gay! I can't tell you how happy I am when cross dressed.

[Thera Home]

I believe beauty is a gift and belongs to both men and women. When I look at a beautiful woman or a beautiful man I don't want either for sexual pleasure.
That is reserved for my wife. What I want is thier beauty for myself. I afraid this makes me selfish in a way. When em femme I admire the beauty I posess and want to share it with to the world. I think because of what society thinks of crosssdressers as "well they dress like women therefore they'll want men" we're labeled as being gay when most of us are not. We just admire beauty and want it for ourselves.

Thera

[Kate Simmons]

Not necessarily but I think perhaps it did help in my acceptance of diversity.

[Stephanie47]

No correlation at all! I believe some young men may be 'forced' into a gay lifestyle because they are into self loathing about cross dressing. For them it may seem to explain their desire to cross dress, act like a girl and hook up with men. Right now there is a greater acceptance for gay men and lesbians than cross dressers. I really do not like looking at human slobs, male or female.

I know that I love women's clothing, the feel, the colors. I also know I love looking at a nicely dressed woman who has taken care of her physical attributes. I also look approvingly of men who dress nicely for the occasion and take care of their physical attributes. Maybe, it has to do the physical form of both men and women. Take care of the body.

But, how do I love sexy looking and sexy feeling lingerie and slips! Just a side thought! In the animal kingdom it is usually the male that is brightly adorned to attract a mate. Maybe, humans just have it all wrong, except for cross dressers!

[kimmyg]

Not gay but curious. Have always fantasied about having a male sexual relationship while en femme

[LeaP]

It may be more accurate to think of certain types of sexual preference as another type of gender variation rather than having nothing to do with gender per se.

There's nothing deterministic that would drive a gender variant person to any given type of sexual preference variation, but I'm not sure that there isn't a correlation. If you believe some people's numbers, homosexuality and bisexuality is higher in the gender variant population than it is in the general population.

[Noemi]

Hello Briana,

When I was a young boy I would worry about this, that I am gay because I like to wear panties. Plus I come from a conservative traditional back round, narrow minded parents and brothers whom I now ignore and never take seriously because it is obvious they do not know a thing.

CD'ing shades sexuality. So when you dress up you are traveling from one shore across the open waters, so I can see how this voyage can confuse some body.
But if you take the trip allot you discover what you like. Sexual preferences are not something that can be forced out of a person. It is the most natural thing, our sexuality.

I feel, along with others here, that our sexuality is hard wired into us. So CD'ing will not turn you gay, it will get you thinking abut sexual preferences, which you will sort out eventually.
I am a gay Cd'er, which seem to be in the minority on this forum.
I am not really gay, if I were to transition then I would be straight.

♥
Noemi

[cathie pantyhose]

im bi but married to an amazing woman. Dressing didn't influence my sexual preferance. I am who I am and I'm happy. I love dressing fem and had had encounters with a gay man years ago while dressed. He loved it when I dressed up. I also had a ggf many years ago that loved it when I dressed up during sex. Toys and all were shared. It was great. These days, I dont have sex with my wife while dressed however. The clothes get in the way...

[Megan_Renee]

I don't know if any of you are Dr. Who fans, but one of the things that happens In The Future is that sexual preference isn't something that you decide once and stick with. (Oh my goodness, if that were true of how I could present myself! I could be a woman when I wanted and a man when I chose!)

Anyway, the idea is that, you would just be with whom you wanted to be, and we wouldn't be as stuck on these definitions and labels as we are now. I think that's how I feel. I am married to a beautiful woman. I love her deeply, and I would never want to do anything to damage her love of me. But if I had not married her, would instead have been drawn to a man in the same way? I'm not convinced that sexual desire is as cut-and-dried as we would like it to be.

I've never met a man that drew me in the way my wife does, but to say that would never happen? I've been burned too many times to use the word, "never."

(That was terrible grammar...)

Anyway... I think I agree with some of the other comments about accepting my nature to dress en femme and accepting homosexuality. I grew up very judgmental. There are several judgments that I have made that I wish I could take back, but c'est la vie! I have lived, and I have learned...

[Marleena]

Just wondering if early crossdressing had an influence on your sexual preferences later in life? Why or why not? This question is open to everyone.

Nope.

I think a lot of Cder's question their sexuality because of CDing early on until they realize it's just something they need to do. It should not have anything to do with sexual preferences because it's a gender issue.

[Shananigans]

I think everyone questions their sexuality at various points in their life...including crossdressers. It's pretty normal. When I was growing up and having crushes on other girls, it was really confusing. I didn't actually know that people were "gay" or "lesbian." A male friend of mine (who is gay) had the same sentiments growing up. He often said it was so confusing, because he was gay before he knew what gay was. I think we both had like an "Ooooooooooh that's what it is" moment in our lives when we were finally told about homosexuality.

But, I read on various forums where guys are like, "I like looking at porn where guys have really big d*cks...I didn't know I was into it...until I saw it....am I gay?" lol. So, yeah, I think people get turned on by the thought of certain things and then they are like, "OMG! DOES THIS MEANS I AM....A HOMOSEXUAL?!?" Probably not...you probably wouldn't be asking about it or pondering too deeply about it. However, I think it's pretty normal to have moments where you realize something turns you on and you wonder what the Hell it means about your sexuality. I just think people are turned on by all kinds of things. I wouldn't call you gay unless you could have feelings for a man...have had crushes on men...find men extremely sexy. I'd call you kinky if you happened to be like the confused guy posting on a forum wondering if liking big d*cks in his porno means he is gay. I also think that fantasies are often much grander than reality. Unfortunately, I've been on the fantasy end with girls just exploring their sexuality...and, then, in reality, they get freaked out by being with another girl. I'm sure they watched lesbian porn and thought it would be hot to try...maybe making out with a girl would make them be more attractive to men (I honestly don't know what they think)...and, then, they realize they aren't actually into women so much as the THOUGHT of being with a woman.

Sexuality is complicated. But, I don't think it has so much to do with gender. You get CDs and TSs of every sexuality that you would a cisperson. But, I think if you are worried about your gender...you are probably worried/questioning other areas of your life. I say just go with your gut. If you are gay or bi...you KNOW you are gay or bi. It's not like you wake up one day and put on your gay hat...then, you are gay lol. If you feel like you are worrying about whether or not you are gay...and, you aren't really sure...you probably aren't gay, but are sucked into the fantasy/kink of some other factors. Same-sex fantasies are really common even with straight people. But, you also have to realize that sexuality isn't just about sex. Attraction isn't just about sex.

I think it's pretty rare that someone suppresses their sexuality until waaaay later in life. Most people that I know in the lesbian/gay

[ColleenA]

Just wondering if early crossdressing had an influence on your sexual preferences later in life? Why or why not? This question is open to everyone.

Crossdressing as a youth influence my sexual preferences? Just the opposite. Crossdressing is an offshoot of my being straight.

I always found women to be attractive in sensual and sexual ways. Meanwhile, I never got a strong sense of the sexual nature of males - but unfortunately, that applied to myself as much as to other men. So when I was starting puberty, I found myself attracted to my good-looking older sister and her many hot friends, and I wished I could be sexual just as they were. I can recall a little dabbling in CDing beforehand, but the turning point was one day in 7th grade when everyone in the family was out and I had the house to myself for the afternoon. I went into my sister's room and proceeded to try on half her wardrobe over the next few hours.

To this day in my private erotic fantasies, I can imagine being with a specific woman (whether I'm dressed or not), but if I imagine being with a man, I must physically be fully a woman, yet he remains a faceless, generic male.

[Eryn]

Well, it hasn't had much effect on me. I dress quite a bit and I still adore women, specifically my wife. I've no interest at all in men.

As others have said, the one effect has been to make me more aware of gender issues and more tolerant toward others.

[Elle1946]

I have been dressing in some form since I can remember and it has been a lot of years and I am not gay and I do prefer women 100% . Why I don't know it is just the way I am

[docrobbysherry]

Well, I THOT it had anyway!

Growing up, I never had any doubts of who I was attracted to, WOMEN! Then, in my 30/40's, some friends began experimenting which made me wonder about myself.

Then, when I began dressing in my 50's, I assumed I must be gay, or bi, at least!

NAW! It just doesn't work that way!

[MaryAnn40c]

I am not gay I am BI and always have been!... when I go full time them I will deside which way I will go!