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Thread: Crossdressing and being gay

  1. #26
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    Crossdressing and sexual orientation are unrelated. Moreover, one's sexual orientation is not a preference, it's genetic. crossdressing does not make you gay and being gay does not make you want to crossdress.

  2. #27
    I'm my own alter ego! natacsha's Avatar
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    From a younger perspective, I feel like life pulls us in the direction we're meant to go in. I know too many gay people that are, in some sense, opposed to CDing. It's the attraction that CDers have for women that usually indicate how hetero they really are. Everyone is different though. I am starting to understand more and more that being gay or bi is something that may be hardwired from birth. As far back as I can remember, I never liked guys like that. At all. I was, however, much more attracted to the way men think than women (maybe cause I am one??) I just get along better with my own kind in that regard. As I grew older I began attaching feelings to that attraction. When CDing began for me, I automatically associated it with men and women. I was attracted to both. I stand alone from most CDers in this regard and I am understanding more and more why as each day passes. I didn't ask for it..like I said in my first sentence, life pulled me into a direction at a certain point in my life...somewhere in between the high desert mountains and a beautiful colorful sunset over the ocean. All I needed to know was there. I just needed to accept it. hope this helps to understand the diversity behind CDing. xoxoxo

  3. #28
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    I'm attracted to women an guys who look like women. I don't know if you'd call that bi. I've been told it's bi cause I can be still attracted to a guy but I've alos been told I'm straight for only being attracted to the "Female look". I stopped caring an just accepted what I like an don't like. But I realised that before I had urges to dress feminine so I don't feel like there is a conection.

  4. #29
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    I'll admit i've done some experimenting with "toys" but I that side of myself would have come out it one way or another . I think once I started accepting my crossdressing it was easier to accept other parts of myself .

  5. #30
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    In a sense, absolutely, but not in the gay vs straight sense. I like to dress up just like the kind of woman I am attracted to. My sexual orientation is hetero, but more specifically I am attracted to a specific kind of woman. Since I want to dress up and emulate the kind of women I am attracted to, yes, I would say my dressing and sexual orientation are highly linked.

  6. #31
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    I am under the impression that me wanting to feel pretty sometimes does not make me gay. I just like to look cute and attractive once in a while.

  7. #32
    Member Sandy Michaels's Avatar
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    My sexuality, which is Bisexual. has nothing to do with my dressing. I dress for my self, no one else. does dressing enhance my sex life, yes. but that's because dressing enhances just about everything in my life. dressing does not make me want to hook up with a male anymore than i do when i'm not dressed. i like to think that they compliment each other though, as part of my life at least.

  8. #33
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    I like to wear womens clothes; I like women and women only. I do not want to be with a man.
    I guess I just like women to the point that I want to feel what a women feels by wearing their clothes.
    I hope that made sense.
    Rader

  9. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shananigans View Post
    Same-sex fantasies are really common even with straight people. But, you also have to realize that sexuality isn't just about sex. Attraction isn't just about sex.
    For some reason or another, feeling constipated and smoking a pipe does not sound like a good time for me. Forgive me for being blunt but thats the way I see it. Just my two cents

    Thera

  10. #35
    CamilleLeon's SO Shananigans's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thera Home View Post
    For some reason or another, feeling constipated and smoking a pipe does not sound like a good time for me. Forgive me for being blunt but thats the way I see it. Just my two cents

    Thera
    Quite the contrary...once it is over with, I hear it clears you right out! lol

    I don't think every straight person has gay fantasies, but some do and some just wonder about it/are curious. This was actually a hilarious lecture for my human sexuality class in undergrad, because the class had TONS of questions. "So, my friend once made out with a guy to see what it was like...but, then, he realized that he didn't like it that much and likes girls a lot more. Does that mean he is kind of gay, or is it just because he was confused?" I learned waaaaaay too much about people in that class. We also spent a few lectures talking about paraphilias/fetishes and sex addiction... There was a really straight-laced girl in our class that I am sure has never heard such crap in her life. But, I remember her raising her hand one day and saying, "So...there are people out there that...get off...on the idea of eating their girlfriend alive." (Insert snickers from class). And, the professor said, "Yes, that person would be a vorarephile." The girl thought for a minute and said, "Well, shouldn't we do something about that...lock them up?" And, the professor said, "Well, this fetish is mainly fulfilled by fantasy and videos that other vorarephiles post online that mimic certain acts." Then, some dude blurts out, "WAIT! There is porn out there where people eat each other?!?" The professor nods. Then, the straight-laced girl mumbles, "I wish people like that had to wear a sign." And, my friend beside me said, "Well, that's what they did to the Jews. Those people can't help it if bloody flesh turns them on...it's who they are." (Subtle sarcasm). Then, the professor said, "Remember that these paraphilias may only be in fantasy...many people fantasize things without acting on them...now, onto paraphilic infantilism...or, the 'adult baby.'" I really miss that class. I think I see society in a whole different light now (a more amusing one)...and, I think that poor girl may never have sex with anyone ever.
    "Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
    “What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck

  11. #36
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    I become more attracted to women the more I crossdress

  12. #37
    If only dreams came true. susancheerleader's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Briana90802 View Post
    Just wondering if early crossdressing had an influence on your sexual preferences later in life? Why or why not? This question is open to everyone.
    I am not gay. But I do like to dress.
    Other then the clothes I choose to wear, my sexual preferences have not changed.

  13. #38
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thera Home View Post
    For some reason or another, feeling constipated and smoking a pipe does not sound like a good time for me. Forgive me for being blunt but thats the way I see it. Just my two cents

    Thera
    Well we each have our own ideas I guess but what really confuses me on this type of statement is how men assume that the women they are with would find the same activity a "good time" and they ask her to do that for them.
    How it seems OK for a woman to do that for a man but not ok for a man to do that for a man.

    I go to gay bars dressed frequently. I never worry about gay guys asking me to be with them because in general gay guys don't want a guy in a dress. I get hit on more when I wear jeans and a polo shirt. So the whole gay/dressing thing to me is moot. It happens that I am bi. I find some men to be very sexually attractive. Not all and even not most. But it has nothing to do with the clothing I am wearing. It may to some of them but I explain that when the dress comes off, there are things that don't fit the illusion. (and technically they are probably not "gay" either)

    To expand on what others have said about gender confusion when dressed, I was in the same boat so to speak. I assumed early on that since I liked wearing skirts I was gay. But to add to my experience I DID like guys. So I was convinced I was gay (luckily I had a wife and several friends who explained that there was a third option). I still believe that if the right guy came along I could live with them. So far that has not happened and I have been fortunate that because I had a choice (in my mind) I found two wonderful women. If I had been gay, I would have missed out on that.
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  14. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Violetgray View Post
    The idea of crossdressing making you gay is like the idea that wearing a Little Mermaid T-shirt making you a better swimmer.
    Damn....I was hoping it might help.

    But seriously, the point has been repeatedly made in this thread and elsewhere that Gender Identification and Sexual Preference are two different things. You can be a straight, gay or bi without being a CDr and similarly you can be a CDr and be straight, gay or bi. You may also be either right or left handed.

    I happen to be a right handed, TG and bisexual in a monogamous heterosexual long term relationship. Curiously, my bisexual experiences have never occurred while I've been dressed en femme...and were definately more of the m/m variety. My observation is that the same sensations that appeal to men and women in heterosexual relations pretty much work the same in homosexual relations. So I'd differ with Gore Vidal...there are no homosexual "acts", there are homosexuals, bisexuals and heterosexuals.
    Last edited by kimdl93; 06-14-2012 at 01:33 PM.

  15. #40
    CamilleLeon's SO Shananigans's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kimdl93 View Post
    You may also be either right or left handed.
    This is preposterous. Everyone knows that left-handed people are possessed by the Devil.

    But, yeah, seriously...I'm always surprised at how often this type of thread comes up. I think it has to do with the effeminate, gay stereotype. I may have said this before...if so, I'm sorry...but, I run into a lot of gay guys at the gym. I know a couple gay guys that are kind of girlie...but, I mean, they don't dress like girls...they just come off kind of girlie. However, there are tons of gay dudes getting really buff at the gym. It probably has something to do with that whole "being attracted to the male image" thing, so they want to be as buff and masculine as possible. You know...like a dude that would be attractive to a guy that also likes guys.
    "Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
    “What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck

  16. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shananigans View Post
    This is preposterous. Everyone knows that left-handed people are possessed by the Devil. .
    And ambidexterous people are the progeny of Pan and Aphrodite....and coincedentally are almost always bisexual!

    I have to echo Shana here - I hang out at gay clubs from time to time in my female form. I've been approached by a number of quite attractive young women, but never by a gay man. I'm not what they're looking for. Its hard wired into us...

  17. #42
    CamilleLeon's SO Shananigans's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kimdl93 View Post
    I'm not what they're looking for.
    It's okay, doll...I'm not either. Who needs those gay guys, anyway!!! lol
    "Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
    “What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck

  18. #43
    In transmission whowhatwhen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thera Home View Post
    For some reason or another, feeling constipated and smoking a pipe does not sound like a good time for me. Forgive me for being blunt but thats the way I see it. Just my two cents

    Thera
    Everyone says that until they find their prostate...

  19. #44
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    I wouldnt say they are unrelated. In fact I never had any REAL bi tendencies until I began to dress. The more I wanted to be a women the I felt pushed/pulled to the traditional gem submissive role twords a man. I would not have considered it before... But now I feel like its has to do with the situation. Being treated like a lady makes me melt. Having a man hold my hand and hold the door while dressed makes me feel so much more fem. I fully understand that my dressing is abou gender .. But male companionship when I'm being a women seems to validate the traditional female role I'm so turned on my.

    Anyone feel the same.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    Crossdressing and sexual orientation are unrelated. Moreover, one's sexual orientation is not a preference, it's genetic. crossdressing does not make you gay and being gay does not make you want to crossdress.

  20. #45
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    Nahhhh ... crossdressing dont make you gay ... if you are gay ..you are gay ... not what you are wearing .....xxxx
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  21. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by kimdl93 View Post
    And ambidexterous people are the progeny of Pan and Aphrodite....and coincedentally are almost always bisexual!

    ...

    I thought they were afropandities

    Quote Originally Posted by sissy4444 View Post
    I wouldnt say they are unrelated. In fact I never had any REAL bi tendencies until I began to dress. The more I wanted to be a women the I felt pushed/pulled to the traditional gem submissive role twords a man.

    Anyone feel the same.
    I never felt like skydiving until I was in a plane. You know yourself better than anyone else so we will accept the fact, however, I believe you are playing out the fantasy of what you believe a woman would do. I say this because you say "traditional" and "submissive" which women today are not either (unless they want to be). The questions I ask of you are 1) have you ever tried a man? and 2) if not do you believe you can go through with it?
    Last edited by Lorileah; 06-14-2012 at 02:54 PM. Reason: combined two posts
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  22. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lorileah View Post
    Well we each have our own ideas I guess but what really confuses me on this type of statement is how men assume that the women they are with would find the same activity a "good time" and they ask her to do that for them.
    How it seems OK for a woman to do that for a man but not ok for a man to do that for a man.

    I go to gay bars dressed frequently. I never worry about gay guys asking me to be with them because in general gay guys don't want a guy in a dress. I get hit on more when I wear jeans and a polo shirt. So the whole gay/dressing thing to me is moot. It happens that I am bi. I find some men to be very sexually attractive. Not all and even not most. But it has nothing to do with the clothing I am wearing. It may to some of them but I explain that when the dress comes off, there are things that don't fit the illusion. (and technically they are probably not "gay" either)

    To expand on what others have said about gender confusion when dressed, I was in the same boat so to speak. I assumed early on that since I liked wearing skirts I was gay. But to add to my experience I DID like guys. So I was convinced I was gay (luckily I had a wife and several friends who explained that there was a third option). I still believe that if the right guy came along I could live with them. So far that has not happened and I have been fortunate that because I had a choice (in my mind) I found two wonderful women. If I had been gay, I would have missed out on that.
    Dear Lorileah
    Dont attach anything to your crossdressing. Homosexuality is homosexuality, its in our bloodline. You have the freewill to choose whatever you desire. Nobody can take that from you. Question is, Do you feel right about it?


    just my 1 bit

    Thera

  23. #48
    Member Marcie R.'s Avatar
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    It's an interesting subject, "Does crossdressing make you Gay?". I love dressing in all my beautiful feminine clothing but the idea of being gay or straight doesn't enter into it. We (males) are one of the only species on earth that are not the flamboyant, colorful, representation of the species. Think of the birds with all their color, they are the males, as well as other creatures, in which the males, are the most beautiful. Therefore I have come to the conclusion, we as crossdressers, are trying to be the most beautiful representives of our species.

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